Twenty minutes later, in between sobs, Nancy had relayed to Harriet what Pete had said, including the details of when he had come to see her before they left for Ibiza.
‘Right, what you need is a plan.’
‘A plan?’
‘Yep, you don’t want to have to rely on that lowlife for anything – I know you haven’t for the past year anyway but we need to get you strong and independent, so Jack has a stable home life and nothing can break that.’
‘Ok … so you mean, like a new job? You know it isn’t that easy for me. Work at the moment is ideal because I can say no to a day’s work when Jack has a bad day.’
‘Yes, but that doesn’t pay the bills Nancy!’
‘I can’t help that though, can I?’ Nancy replied, feeling defensive. ‘I am trying my best with what I’ve got. I can’t change jobs just like that, Harriet.’
‘It doesn’t have to be a full time job. What are your restrictions?’ Harriet pulled out a notepad and pen from the bag over her shoulder and began scrawling.
‘You’re in your element, aren’t you?’ Nancy laughed, sliding off the toilet and joining her best friend on the floor. ‘Taking control and formulating a plan – I’m not one of your projects you know.’
‘I know, but you could be. I’ll help you, we are going to sort your life out and make Pete regret leaving.’
‘And what about you? Shall we sort yours out afterwards?’ Nancy grinned because she knew the reply before it came.
‘My life doesn’t need sorting out.’ Harriet dismissed the comment, but Nancy knew that she’d have to address it soon. But now wasn’t the time. ‘So … your restrictions?’
Nancy took another sip and finished her gin. ‘Needs to be school hours and term time only – I can’t use a childminder or anything because it’s out of routine for Jack, he needs me.’
‘OK, that’s fine. What else?’
‘Something that I could potentially either do at home all the time or have the option of working from home on difficult days when Jack has a bad day and doesn’t go into school.’ There were too many of those to count at the moment. He spent more time at home than at that school.
‘OK, so that’s the job brief. Life-wise, what do you need to get in place for Jack?’
Nancy sighed. ‘I need to either sort out the school he is currently at or I need to find a new one where the staff actually want to help him rather than isolate him.’ Just thinking about the recent meeting with the school where Nancy had been told that Jack spent a lot of time with his one to one support teacher in the art cupboard because he struggled within the classroom environment just made her feel physically sick. ‘I want him to be with other children, not kept out of the way like a crazy child.’
‘Understandable. OK, so finally, what about you?’
‘What about me?’
‘What are your goals – what’s missing from your life at the moment and what do you want?’ Harriet tapped her lip with her pen.
‘I hope you’re not referring to a man because quite honestly, after today, I’d consider turning gay and marrying you over getting into another relationship.’
Harriet raised her eyebrows, ‘Honey as much as I love you, you couldn’t handle me. Plus I haven’t got time for a relationship so you’d be shit out of luck with me, I’m afraid.’ She winked and tore off the paper. ‘OK, here’s your initial draft life plan. We are going to sort you out – don’t you worry.’
Nancy took the paper and then smiled. ‘Thanks Hari, I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘You would be absolutely fine without me, I am just helping you get there faster, that’s all.’
Nancy shook her head. ‘No, you’re not. You have made the situation so much better. I think just talking about it with you has helped, even if we didn’t have your foolproof life plan on paper.’ She smiled cheekily. ‘Honestly though, I really think it is time I made some big changes in my life. I am fed up with being miserable and letting the days tick by. Ever since Pete left, I feel like I’ve lost my sparkle; I just plod along, every day is the same.’
‘So then do something about it,’ Harriet countered.
‘It’s easier said than done.’
‘There you go again, making excuses. Forget about Pete, forget about work and forget about anyone else but you and Jack. What do you want to do with your life?’
‘I don’t know.’ She felt scared by the prospect of making big decisions about her life. Having everything plod along had its benefits – it was easy. She knew exactly what was happening. ‘Making changes scare me.’
‘That’s good. If it didn’t scare you then I would be worried. Nance, you’re still young and you have so much of your life ahead of you. You shouldn’t be wasting time stressing over the likes of Pete. You need to think about you. I am not saying you have to find a man, but let your hair down, enjoy life. Think about what you want to do job-wise, this could be your chance to try something new. And just, you know, live! Jack will be OK without Pete – he has coped this last year, hasn’t he?’
Nancy nodded as she felt her self-confidence swell. ‘You’re right.’
‘Of course I am right, I’m always right.’ She poked her tongue out. ‘Now come on soppy, let’s get the kids dressed and get down to the entertainment complex – I hear there’s some show on and two-for-one cocktails.’
Chapter 20
‘Look, over there!’ Harriet pointed to a table on the far side over by the front of the stage. ‘You go grab the table and I’ll get some drinks.’ She began to walk off before Nancy even had a chance to respond. Harriet reached the bar area and set about reading the cocktail menu. They needed something fruity and strong – today was shaping up to be quite a stressful day for the pair of them so Harriet was determined for it to end on a high.
‘I’d recommend a Singapore Sling, it has quite a kick to it.’
Harriet jumped and looked up startled to see Cameron smiling back at her. ‘You scared the life out of me – do you always creep up on women like that?’
‘OK, you make me sound like a pervert weirdo.’ He frowned, and Harriet laughed.
‘Hey, I’m not the one creeping up on women and whispering in their ear.’ She shrugged to add weight to her words.
‘Let’s not continue down this trail of thought.’ He grabbed the menu and opened it up. ‘But seriously, get the Singapore Sling, it’s amazing.’
‘Well, I might just do that; I’ll tell Nancy it comes as a recommendation from you.’
He nodded, not taking his eyes off the menu. ‘And can you tell her I said sorry for being a bit off earlier?’
Harriet leaned on the bar looking at him. ‘And why exactly can you not tell her yourself? I’m not your messenger.’ Maybe she should become a professional matchmaker – she was having far too much fun with this.
He looked back up at her. ‘I know … I … um … can’t.’
‘You, um, can’t what?’ She retorted. ‘She’s sitting just over there.’ She pointed to the table where Nancy had set up and was currently bouncing Tommy up and down on her knee. Harriet felt the disappointment settle in her stomach as she realised he must’ve woken up – she was hoping he was going to be down for the night. She could never fully relax when the children were around her. She always felt like she was fighting a losing battle, trying too hard at something that technically she should be a natural at. She found it so draining, but she had her professional image to uphold, and she couldn’t be seen to be struggling. And she really did want to enjoy it – she just wasn’t sure she knew how.
‘Well, you see, I’m here tonight with my sister and her husband and, well, we’re sitting all the way over there and I need to get the drinks back to them. If you could just send my apologies, I’d really appreciate it.’ He smiled and then walked off back to his table, no drinks in his hands.
Harriet frowned as she watched him leave. He was acting strange, just like Nancy had said.
Moments later she was ba
ck at the table handing Nancy her drink.
‘What is it?’ Nancy asked, eyeing up the liquid suspiciously and then taking a sip. ‘It’s strong!’
‘Yep and it comes recommended by none other than the very sexy Cameron.’ Harriet noticed the change in Nancy’s face. ‘That’s right, he’s here tonight and sitting right over there.’ She pointed to his table on the far side. He had his back to them, but you could very clearly see it was him. His broad shoulders sporting a tight fitted white T-shirt against the navy chino shorts he was wearing. He was leaning across the table talking to his son who was laughing hysterically at something. The pair looked the perfect father-son picture.
Nancy slapped her hand down. ‘Don’t point!’ she hissed. ‘I don’t want him thinking we are talking about him.’
‘But … we are talking about him.’ Harriet sipped the pink liquid – it was surprisingly sweet.
‘But we don’t want him to know that, do we!’
‘He has his back to us, will you chill out. Anyway, as I was saying before you assaulted me – he told me to pass on a message.’ Harriet took pleasure in watching Nancy’s face instantly show interest as she turned to face her. ‘He said to apologise for being stroppy with you this morning.’
‘I told you he was being weird!’
‘Yes, and I totally agree.’ Harriet sat down and leaned in a little. ‘He was weird with me too. I invited him over to speak to you himself and he went all funny and said he couldn’t and then walked back to his table without even taking his drinks with him.’
‘So now you’re scaring him off,’ Nancy laughed.
‘Listen, I know the guy is hot, but I’m not sure he’s the full ticket. Maybe you should let this one go.’
‘For the last time, I am not chasing him! No men in my life right now apart from Jack.’ Nancy sipped her drink. ‘And Tommy, of course’ she added, tickling his toes.
‘Yeah, so why is he up? Did he wake up by himself or did Isla poke him?’ This had become a regular thing of late. Harriet didn’t know if it was a jealousy thing or an attention thing, but Isla quite often woke her brother up so he would start crying.
‘No, she didn’t this time, he just woke up himself. I wonder if he’s teething because his face is all rosy and he is dribbling like a trooper!’
‘Yeah, he’s got one through at the top – it’s only just come in.’ She didn’t tell Nancy that it was in fact a stranger who had noticed this before his own mother did. And right on cue, he started whinging and rubbing at his face. ‘Here, do you want me to take him?’ Harriet reached out and took Tommy, and his crying increased. It felt like every time she held him or picked him up, he either started crying or his crying intensified. She couldn’t do anything right. It was like he could smell the fear, could sense that she was winging it. She bounced him on her knee and gently shushed him, hoping it would be calming and soothing. But instead, it came out a little erratic and forced.
‘Have you got any medicine to give him, take the edge off a bit?’
Harriet shook her head. Did Nancy know her at all? If you looked inside her bag you would find money, keys, perfume, her diary and a pack of mints. Even her changing bag was a little on the sparse side – always running low on nappies and wipes, all the essentials!
‘Here, I’ve got some of these sachet things – they’re great for on the go. You can have one of these.’
Harriet took the sachet from Nancy and tried to open it with one hand whilst holding onto Tommy with the other as he wriggled and moaned. ‘I can’t bloody do this with one hand, open it for me?’ She felt his head. ‘Does he feel hot to you?’
Nancy opened the sachet and then touched his forehead. ‘Yeah, a little. This will help with his temperature, bless him.’
Harriet squeezed the contents of the sachet into Tommy’s mouth as he flipped his head from side to side, refusing to take it.
‘Well, we managed about half the sachet, which is good considering Tommy has turned into the girl from The Exorcist and practically rotated his head backwards to avoid it!’ Harriet wiped her face with the back of her hand. ‘How the hell did I get it on my eyebrows?’
‘Mummy, I need a wee.’
‘OK, hang on a minute, let me just settle Tommy first.’
‘No, now, I need a wee nowwww.’
‘Isla, sweetie, you will have to wait a moment.’
‘Why don’t I take you?’ Nancy smiled at Isla but she wasn’t having any of it.
‘No, Mummy take me.’ She pouted.
‘You’re just being difficult because I have Tommy on my lap, aren’t you?’ Harriet turned to Nancy. ‘She keeps doing this, I don’t know if it’s a sibling jealousy thing?’
‘Might be, it’s fine. You take her, here, give me Tommy.’
Harriet handed over her son to Nancy. Tommy had thankfully stopped crying but was still a bit wriggly and whiny.
‘Come on then, you.’ She took her daughter’s hand and led her to the toilet.
‘Mummy?’ Isla said, coming to a halt outside the toilet.
‘Yes darling?’ Harriet replied.
‘Bend down here for a minute?’ Her rosy cheeks bulged as she smiled up at Harriet.
‘I thought you wanted a wee?’
‘I want to whisper something in your ear.’ She waved her hand, indicating for Harriet to bend down. As Harriet did, Isla moved Harriet’s hair away from her ear and leaned in. ‘This is the best holiday ever!’ she whispered.
Harriet leaned back, shocked at the sweetness from her daughter. ‘Aw sweetie, that’s lovely. What has been your favourite bit?’ They may have been crouched in a hallway in the entertainment complex with the dull hum of the DJ talking from the hall and various staff running around them, but this moment meant more to Harriet than she could even voice.
‘My favourite bit is you.’
‘Me?’ Harriet frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I get to see you and play in the water with you and eat yummy food.’ She leaned in again for a cuddle and this time she squeezed and didn’t let go.
Harriet fought back the tears. Isla wasn’t jealous of her brother taking Harriet’s time, she was jealous of her work.
Things definitely had to change now. She wrapped her arms around Isla and squeezed her back. She would treasure this moment forever.
***
Nancy looked down at Tommy slowly settling in her arms. She could remember when Jack had been this small. His perfect little toes and his perfect little face. What she would give to be back at that time when everything had seemed perfect. Happily married with a beautiful bouncing baby boy. And then everything had changed. Pete had become distant, Jack struggled with everything and Nancy saw her perfect life slowly fall apart, piece by piece.
She wouldn’t change Jack for the world and she loved him with every inch of her soul, but things were hard, life was hard. And ever since his diagnosis it had felt as though things were getting worse. Knowing what was wrong with Jack had made everything seem more real and there was no more hiding away from the fact that her son had a condition that meant he found the world incredibly hard to live in. Nancy wanted to take all his anxieties away and let him be the child he deserved to be, but she couldn’t, nobody could, and that was what hurt the most. When most children went to their mothers for support and reassurance, Jack went into himself and pushed everyone else away. He didn’t like cuddles like Tommy did and he hated being touched. Nancy grieved for the little boy she wanted and for that, she felt incredibly guilty. Mum guilt was a bitch!
After a few moments Tommy drifted off. His forehead was clammy and his little cheeks were rosy red. She cuddled him closer, resting her lips on his forehead as she soothed him.
‘Poor little guy, his teeth?’
Nancy jumped and looked over her shoulder at the soft voice behind her. ‘Hi,’ she said and smiled.
‘May I?’ Cameron gestured to the chair to Nancy’s left and she nodded for him to take it. As he sat down, Nancy watched him
look down at Tommy and smile before meeting her eyes. ‘I wanted to say I was sorry about this morning, I rushed off and I think I may have appeared a little rude and that wasn’t my intention.’
‘It’s fine, don’t worry about it.’ Nancy shrugged it off but then decided to be brave and ask, ‘I hope everything was OK? You seemed a little stressed.’ She didn’t feel as vulnerable with Tommy in her arms. He was acting like a barrier between them and it gave her a little extra confidence to ask questions she might not normally ask somebody she didn’t really know. Cameron noticeably closed off a little when she asked, and she knew she had pushed it. He wasn’t about to open up to her and that was fine; they hadn’t known each other long.
‘Yeah it’s fine, just life, you know? Can get a little stressful at times.’
‘You’re telling me,’ she said, almost under her breath as Tommy wiggled and had a little groan.
‘Little guy not feeling well?’ He leaned forward, placing his forearms onto his thighs and lessening the gap between them quite considerably. Nancy gazed back into his deep blue eyes and for a moment neither of them spoke. The sexual tension between them was intense. It wasn’t like anything Nancy had felt for a very long time and part of her felt guilty for that. She’d had a lot of good times with Pete, but towards the end, life had just got too much for them … and now, feeling how she did when she was lost in Cameron’s eyes, she started to question whether Pete leaving might be a blessing in disguise
Nancy forced herself to avert her gaze, looking back down to Tommy. ‘He’s just had some medicine so once that kicks in he’ll be sound asleep. Nothing like a good night’s sleep, eh?’
Cameron guffawed. ‘I wouldn’t know – what’s one of those?’ And he laughed, but Nancy sensed there was truth in what he said. Tommy started crying again. ‘Have you tried putting him up against your shoulder and patting him on the bum?’ Nancy looked at him and pulled a face. ‘I know he’s not a baby baby but I remember when Aiden was his age he still liked to have that gentle tapping when he was feeling a bit under the weather. Sort of a comfort thing.’ He shrugged. ‘Just a thought.’
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