Her eyes struck me then. They saw through me, they locked on and didn’t let go. And I stared back, I covered my secrets, I buried my scars, and I let her look and hoped she wouldn’t see it all.
If anyone wasn’t important, it was me.
But Renee?
I might as well be guarding royalty.
“What aren’t you telling me, Vic?” she asked in a shaky voice.
“Nothing.” I shrugged. “I just take my job seriously.” I take you seriously.
My eyes flickered to her lips before I straightened and then held out my fucking hand. “Thanks for the bed—” I groaned. “The room. Thanks for the room. Have a good night.”
She stared down at my hand and then took it in hers. It was all I needed. Just to touch her skin, to feel her.
My brain and body were at war, which just meant my mouth wasn’t saying the words I was supposed to and rather than come across as elusive and protective, I was coming across like a well-read stalker who lied to get an invite into her room.
“Okay.” She dropped my hand.
I hated it.
I wanted her hand back.
I wanted to press her against the wall.
A vibrating sound jolted me out of my lust-filled misery. She pulled out her phone and smiled.
I wanted her to look at me that way.
Not her iPhone.
“It’s my mom!” She answered the phone and started talking so fast my head spun. She left me in that doorway. Staring at a bed I wanted to use. Wishing for a life I couldn’t have.
And wondering how much I would have to sacrifice to take what felt like the first real want I’d ever had in my existence.
Her.
Chapter Five
Renee
My mom wasn’t coming home.
I tried not to sound disappointed on the phone, but she said she was having such a good time and it was working wonders for her anxiety. She missed Dad like crazy and apparently had heard from him.
Another month.
Another month and he would finally be home.
I chewed on that thought.
What kind of job kept him away for a month? I mean, it wasn’t like they had mafia conventions where he taught a panel on tax evasion, right?
I tossed and turned for an hour before falling asleep and for some reason, I felt less safe than had Vic been gone.
Everything about him was intense.
His stupid handshake had been intense.
Who has an intense handshake?
How is that even possible?
I hated that what made me close my eyes was the faint smell of him still in the air.
* * * *
“Stay very still,” a voice whispered in my ear.
I jolted awake with a gasp, only to have Vic cover my mouth with his massive hand. He was on the floor next to me like he’d crawled in there to make sure no monsters were waiting under my bed.
My heartbeat pounded in my ears as footsteps creaked down the hall.
Someone was in my house.
Someone was in my house.
Were they looking for my dad?
For me?
Blood pounded in my ears as I waited. My chest was so tight that it was getting harder and harder to breathe as the quiet footsteps neared.
“Shhhh.” Vic’s voice. I closed my eyes and focused on Vic’s voice, only to open them just as a man in all black walked by my doorway.
The gunshot rang out before I could suck in another breath, hitting the pillow I’d just been hugging, missing me by inches.
And then another gunshot that came from Vic, from his gun, his hands. The man fell to the ground.
Another stepped into my room. Vic stood and shot him between the eyebrows. Blood exploded against the pretty white walls. I held in my scream. I held it in because there could be more.
My mouth was open.
No sound was coming out.
No air going in.
Vic quickly sat on the bed and pulled me onto his lap. “Breathe, you need to breathe, Renee.”
I shook my head as a few tears squeezed out. I was trying! I couldn’t get my body to do anything—I was frozen.
Frozen in terror.
Vic swore.
And then he kissed me.
No, no it wasn’t a kiss.
It was a claiming.
“Come on,” he said between kisses. “Breathe me in, just me, focus on me.” His next kiss was light as he blew across my lips. I reacted. I sucked in a breath and leaned forward and then started sucking on him, on his taste, desperate for the safety of his body, desperate for the promise of more kissing—more air.
I molded my body to his, I let him protectively hold me in his lap, and I let myself get lost in something so good.
After seeing so much bad.
I’d been protected from this life.
I knew why now.
It wasn’t like a video game. Or a movie.
It was real.
I would never forget the sight of someone getting shot, and it would haunt me for the rest of my life.
Vic’s tongue slid past my lower lip.
He tasted hot.
Like any minute his mouth was going to set fire to my body in the best way, burning in my veins, pounding through my blood. I kissed him harder, I clung to him with white knuckles.
And then he was pulling back and wiping tears I didn’t realize I’d shed. His thumbs brushed across my cheeks. His clear blue eyes darted between my mouth and my damp cheeks then finally settled on something behind me, like he was afraid to look directly at me.
“You’re safe,” he whispered in a hollow, unaffected voice. Hadn’t we just been kissing? Intimately? “I’ll always protect you.” He stood.
I grabbed his hand. “Why did you kiss me?”
He looked away, his profile dangerously sharp, his lips full from our shared kiss. Men like him shouldn’t look appetizing.
He was chocolate soufflé.
And I felt like boring white ice cream melting all over the place, thanks to my panic.
“Kissing or death.” He smiled down at the floor and then looked over at me and winked. I felt my entire body melt. The killer winked and my body buzzed because of it. Shock. I was clearly going through shock. “I figured given the choice you would have said kiss—then again, what do I know?”
“Thank you.” I tried not to sound disappointed. Something was very wrong with the way my body swayed toward his, the way that my heart throbbed painfully in my chest like it was going to explode. This was the man who terrified me.
This was also a man who, for the first time in my short life, made me feel alive.
“Renee?”
“Yeah?” I jerked my head up, teeth chattering a bit as the circumstances of my house and bedroom started to choke me.
He pulled out his phone and hit a button. “I think your taste is the only thing that could both save a sinner—and cause more sin.”
I gaped just as a male voice answered on the other end.
“Yeah.” Vic was all business. “Two intruders….”
My stomach rolled as my eyes found the gory scene and locked on it, unable to look away from the blood splatters and the two bodies that no longer had souls just lying there a few feet away from my bed.
Tears filled my eyes again.
“…I’m not so sure that’s a good—” Vic swore again. “Fine, just…Nixon…” His jaw clenched as he glanced back at me like he was in pain. “All right. Fine. Yes. Sorry.” And then Vic groaned. “I’m hanging up now. Tell Sergio, and I’m murdering you in your sleep.”
I heard laughter on the other end.
Vic shoved the phone back in his pocket. “We need to pack your stuff.”
“Pack?” I repeated dumbly. “Why are we packing?”
“Because…” He walked over to my closet and pulled the doors open. “You’re coming with me.”
“But this is my home! I’m staying here.” I jumped off of the bed
, ready to fight for the right to stay where I belonged even though I knew I wouldn’t sleep a wink. I was getting taken from my home, from what should be my safe space. If I didn’t have my home what did I have?
He stiffened. “Not anymore, you’re not.”
“Vic, be reasonable!”
He turned around and gripped me by the shoulders. “You could have died. How’s that for reasonable? Had I not bulldozed my way into your home, the world would have had one less light—one less soul. And don’t for one second think they would have made it quick. They would have taken their time with your body, used every last innocent piece you possessed, then made you watch while they slowly snuffed you out of this world. That’s reasonable. That’s reality. So pack your shit.”
My body jolted at his harsh tone. “Where are we going?”
“Nixon’s,” he whispered. “It’s the safest place for you right now.”
“Why do I need protection,” I wondered out loud, “if they were after my dad?”
He snorted out a humorous laugh. “They weren’t after him, you can’t be that stupid.”
I raised my hand to slap him, but he grabbed it before I could land one against his cheek and shoved me away. “Hit me and you won’t like the consequences.”
More tears filled my eyes. “I hate you.”
He barked out an angry laugh. “Thanks for the reminder.”
I instantly felt guilty.
Only because his face had contorted with pain.
Only because his kiss had been the best kiss of my life.
Only because I knew he was doing his job and I was punishing him for it.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s fine,” he interrupted. “I’m used to people’s hate, not really sure what I would do if I had anything else. Pack your things, and be ready in five. And, Renee?”
I was still processing what he said. “Yeah?”
His eyes softened. “You’re not coming back.”
Chapter Six
Vic
“Is this a new thing?” Chase smirked. “Kissing your captives and all?”
I’d been back at Nixon’s for the total of ten minutes before Chase gave me a suspicious look and then another for good measure.
Something was extremely wrong with Chase doing a doubletake where I was concerned. Hell, for the better part of a few weeks he hadn’t even known I was in the same house as him, and now he was looking through me like he knew what I’d just done—what I was still thinking about doing the minute we were alone again.
I ignored his comment.
Which wasn’t new.
His smile widened as he poured himself a glass of wine then leaned back and stared me down.
The crazy in his eyes never really left.
And the determination in my stare only encouraged it.
The front door opened.
Tex walked in with Phoenix, Sergio, and Dante. I never had to turn around when Tex entered the building. For one, he walked loud, for two, he spoke even louder, as if the entire world needed to pay attention.
I stared straight ahead, straight at Chase, shooting him a challenging glare, and waited for him to start firing off questions about the men I’d killed.
Instead, the minute—no, the second—Tex pulled up a chair, Chase said, “He kissed her.”
All heads turned in my direction.
I narrowed my eyes. “Where’s your proof?”
“I know what guilt looks like.” He leaned forward, resting his tattooed forearms on the table. “And you have it all over your face. Hell, I can even smell it on you—and for the record…next time you decide to kiss the nanny—make sure you wipe the dazed expression off her face and give her some Chapstick for the swollen lips.” He winked.
Tex burst out laughing. “At least tell me you killed the men first, kissed her second?”
“Bad ass if he kissed her during,” Dante quipped. “Just saying.”
Phoenix stared me down. “You know why she’s under our protection.”
“Yeah,” I said gruffly. “I know why. Shouldn’t she?”
He pressed his lips together in a firm line and shrugged.
It was midnight. I was exhausted. I needed sleep. And my body was still humming from the taste of her.
It was wrong.
I knew I could never have her—shouldn’t even touch her.
I cleared my throat and nodded to Chase. “It won’t happen again, you have my word.”
“I hate it when people lie to my face.” Chase’s good humor vanished. “What do you say, Sergio? A thousand? Two?”
I glared straight ahead, and my finger twitched for my gun.
Tex was the first to speak up. “Nah, I say three.”
“Five.” Phoenix nodded to me. “I bet five against him.”
“I’ll take that bet.” Dante laughed while Tex reached for the wine bottle.
“What are we betting on?” came Nixon’s voice as he walked into the room, looking as tired as I felt, and sounding a hell of a lot better than my gravelly sleep-lacking voice.
“Vic sleeping with the help.” Chase lifted his wine glass in the air. “Cheers.”
Nixon turned his icy expression toward me and muttered a simple “No.”
“I didn’t do anything…wrong.” My cousin stared at me like he was contemplating my death. And I hoped to God I was staring right back as if I’d like to see him try.
I might not be a boss.
But my skills far surpassed those of everyone at the table.
That was why I worked for all of the families instead of just one.
I was the enforcer.
I was whoever they needed me to be.
Tonight I was a babysitter.
Tonight I was an assassin.
I liked babysitting a hell of a lot better.
“Vic.” Nixon shook his head no and then paused and looked around the table. “How certain are we that the men were De Lange?”
The front door slammed and Russian boss Andrei Petrov waltzed in wearing a suit. The man didn’t own jeans.
In fact, he didn’t own anything he couldn’t fine press with an iron or by sheer willpower of his palms.
I often wondered who at that table hated him the most.
And then I’d wonder if it matched the hate he felt for himself.
“They were mine.”
He took a seat at the same time as I reached for my gun. Nixon shook his head at me.
“And they went against my orders,” he continued breezily. “I hope you dealt with them like I’ve dealt with those they hold dear?”
That was when I noticed the blood on his collar and a scratch near his left ear.
“May God have mercy on their souls—” Andrei poured a glass of wine and lifted it into the air. “Because I didn’t.”
“Is that lipstick or blood?” Tex pointed to Andrei’s collar.
Andrei smiled politely. “After tonight, it’s truly a toss-up, but your concern is noted.”
Tex pulled out his gun and spun it on the table. “How about a bit of Russian Roulette?”
Andrei jerked to his feet. “You dare threaten me?” Ah, the temper of a nineteen-year-old forced to grow up too soon.
“Stop.” Chase gave the command with an eerie calm. “Andrei, why were your men after someone under our protection?”
He sat back down and shrugged out of his suit coat. “Because your man has been feeding me information for the past two months, and the road always has a dead end. We figured he probably came crawling back to the Nicolasi family with secrets of his own—and you know how we do business.”
Chase gripped the stem of his wine glass and shot Andrei a look of pure hatred. Nobody liked playing nice with the Russian. We did it out of force, out of necessity and even though he was currently on our side—nobody knew how long it would last or how deep Andrei was willing to go before he completely lost whatever soul he had left.
“She’s a nanny, a fucking co
llege student, leave her alone, Andrei.” I spoke up for the first time that night, again earning everyone’s stares. And even as the words left my mouth I knew they weren’t altogether true, even though I wished they were.
Normal would never be in her vocabulary. Not anymore.
He sighed in my direction. “Nixon, if you can’t keep your dog on its leash, at least give it something to chew on.”
“Or kiss,” Tex just had to add.
Andrei’s eyebrows shot up. “Kiss?”
“Never mind.”
I cleared my throat, only to have Chase follow up with, “He kissed her. Can’t kill a girl who’s under the protection of any of our names, tough shit, Petrov.”
“It was a mistake.” He shrugged. “Most likely just as the kiss was… You’re what, eight years older than her? What use does a beautiful woman have with a made man who answers to everyone—when she could have someone who answers to no one?”
I clasped my hands in my lap and bit my tongue until I tasted blood. If he so much as looked in her direction, I would end his life.
I would end it with a smile on my face, and no prayer for any part of his soul would do any good.
Andrei stood. “It’s been…interesting as usual. When are we moving in on the rat and his family?”
“The rat has been dealt with,” Phoenix answered smoothly.
“And his family…” Sergio spoke up for the first time that night. “…will not suffer the full consequences of his actions.”
“You can’t protect her forever,” Andrei said matter-of-factly. “And I’m not the only one you need to be worried about.”
I stiffened.
I knew that.
We all knew that.
How was it that the minute we thought we had flushed out all of our enemies, another one rose up, more powerful, more hell-bent on destruction?
“Andrei.” Nixon barked out his name. “At least try to do what you swore to us you would do—get in, get out, get done.”
“Why?” He snickered. “When I’m having so much fun while I’m in?”
“Gross.” Tex shook his head. “Even for you.”
Andrei just grinned and started to whistle. The sound of the door slamming jolted me out of my anger—sending white-hot rage to settle over my body.
Envy: An Eagle Elite Novella Page 4