Lu did not seem convinced, so she cheered her up by asking about her dinner the night before and letting her prattle. When she came out, Julio was calling out goodbye to the girls and Erika passed on her way to her bedroom. She went to her own room where, she knew, if she stood in her closet, she would hear the shower in Erika’s bathroom.
◆◆◆
Aly felt there was something she had to do in case she slipped and a look or something from her could be interpreted, well, correctly, as interest in Erika. She had to lie. It was over something, she realized, that should have come up between them earlier, even before she knew she was in love with Erika. So, after dinner on Sunday, when the girls were not around, she went out to speak with her. She found her, again, in front of the fireplace in one of the plush loungers, this time reading her tablet and with the fire on. It was not yet truly cold enough for a fire, but the gas fire was more for effect without the blower on. Perhaps, Aly thought, as the temperature dropped outside, the fire replaced the view outside for Erika.
She sat on the leg extension of the other lounger. “I want to talk to you about something awkward.”
Erika was already looking at her expectantly. Now she sat up, put down her tablet, and folded her hands in her lap. “Okay.”
“Last night, at the party, when anyone knew I worked for you, they’d say, ‘She’s so attractive, so how could you not -’”
Erika rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yes, yes, I got it too.”
“You did?”
"'How could you have someone so cute working for you and not…’”
"Oh." Aly was surprised, both because people thought she was cute and that anyone would think a woman like Erika could be interested in her. “Well, I just want you to know that there is no interest on my part. At all.” She realized how that could sound. “I don’t mean to be insulting. I mean, you are attractive, of course, and I like you…”
Erika laughed awkwardly and waved this off. “Don’t worry about it. If I thought there was any possibility that either of us…I wouldn’t have hired you. It’s a professional relationship.”
“There’s a big difference between thinking someone is attractive and being attracted to them.”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay, good. Well, that’s done." She stood up.
“We probably should have had this talk a while ago.”
“But why would we? There’s no issue for us. It’s other people.”
“That’s true.”
Aly moved around the extension of the lounger and headed for her room. Before she reached it, Erika said, “Hey, Aly, I heard what you did for Cass and Toni.”
She was confused. “I don’t…what did I do?”
“Anita told me you gave Cass a good talking to and now they’re trying to work it out.”
“Oh.” She shook her head. “I just thought she was about to give up on a good woman. They’re not easy to find.”
Erika laughed. “You have that right. If you find one, hang on.” And then, as Aly turned away, she said, “I hope Kylie knows she has one.”
A mixture of feelings swirling, Aly wanted to run away, but turned back. “Oh, that’s coming to an end. I just haven’t done it yet.”
“Ah,” Erika said, not seeming too surprised. “Was it the pot?”
“No. It was never going to be…It was just a start. I want something more.”
Erika nodded, her face softening. “You deserve all you want, Aly.”
“Thank you,” She turned away quickly. “Good night.” Oh, Erika, you’re all I want. Stop being so good to me.
27
The Verkammer School put on a carnival on Halloween evening for students and their families each year. There were games and a charity raffle in tents in the parking lot, and trick-or-treating through the classrooms. Costumes were optional, and both Whitney and Lu felt they were too old for dress up.
High school students were paired and given a group of younger children to escort through the halls. Whitney was looking forward to doing that next year as it signaled a stepping away from childhood. But this year still had the compensation of appeasing her sweet tooth with trick-or-treat candy. When Aly let them off in the morning, both girls were looking forward to the entire school day being devoted to decorating rather than to classes.
Erika came home at five and they had an early dinner as the festivities at school started at six. Aly had plans to go to a bar later and see a new band with Kylie. She was going to break it off with her that night and was distracted with imagining scenarios for doing so.
She was eating dinner when her phone rang and she saw it was Calista Marchek, Toy’s mother. Her first thought was that Toy had mentioned seeing her at the party and Calista wanted to get back in touch. She and Aly were close until she had to support her daughter through the divorce. Aly understood, but they had never spoken again. “Hi, Calista, I’m eating dinner, can I…”
“Aly, Toy’s been arrested,” Calista said without preamble, her husky smoker’s voice flat with weariness. “She’s in jail.”
“What? When? For what?” Shock and confusion swirled in Aly. She was dimly aware the Miltons were looking at her. She signaled her apologies and, stepping away from the bar, turned her back on them.
“She’s been stealing from the school.”
She let out her breath and looked toward the ceiling. “Oh, are you kidding me?”
“I know. I know.”
Aly took a deep breath and let it out. It wasn’t her business anymore. She had to let it go. “Thank you for letting me know. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“I was hoping you could help bail her out.”
“She’s not my wife anymore. This is not my problem. And, frankly, it’s not your problem, either. Let her lawyer take care of her.”
“Oh, Aly, don’t say that. She’s my child.”
“I know. And I know she’s ill. But she has to want help. She makes her own problems. Maybe you should let her sort them out for herself.”
“How did you get so hard? You didn’t used to be like this.”
“I got hurt, remember? I’m not going to put myself in that position again. If you need me, I’ll be there for you. But I am not going to bail her out, in any sense.”
Calista hung up without another word. After a moment Aly turned back to the Miltons. “Sorry.”
“Toy?” Erika asked, her eyes concerned.
The girls started clearing plates. Aly signaled she was done with her dinner. Before she answered she looked at them, but figured they were old enough to hear. “She’s in jail.”
“Oh, wow. What happened?”
“Stealing from the school or something.”
“Do you want me to look into it for you? I have connections.”
“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that.”
“It’s not a problem. I can find out more tomorrow,” Erika drew her phone forward and pulled up a note app. “What’s her full name?”
“Victoria Danielle Marchek.” Aly spelled the last name. Then she excused herself and went to her room.
She was sitting at her desk, but facing away from it and staring into space, when she heard Erika knock on the wall of the alcove outside her room. Her door was open. “Aly?”
“Yeah, come in.”
Erika appeared in the doorway. She hadn’t changed from work and still wore a brown suit. She cocked her head in concern. “We’re leaving. You going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I’m supposed to see Kylie. I was going to break it off…I can’t face that now.”
“No, not now. Look, we’re not staying too long tonight. The girls have school tomorrow. If you need to talk when we get back…”
“Thank you. Enjoy yourselves.”
“Well, I’m sure they’ll enjoy themselves. Somehow it’s not my thing.” Erika left, waving a hand behind her.
Aly called Kylie and told her what happened with Toy and that she was not coming out. “Why? You’re out of it aren’t
you?” Kylie asked.
Aly absorbed this blow and then cut Kylie some slack. She had never been in a long term relationship. Quietly she said, “The woman I loved and had intended to spend the rest of my life with is ill, has committed a crime because of it, and is going to go to prison. So, yes, I’m out of it, but I still care.”
“Well, if you change your mind and don’t want to spend all night moping I’d like to see you. You know where to find me.”
Aly debated leaning on Erika. But why not? Maybe Erika would never love her the way she wanted, but she could still lean into the love Erika offered.
So when the Miltons came home just before nine she went out and the girls gave her a rundown on what they played, what they won, who they saw, and showed her their haul of candy. Then they were off for showers and late bedtimes.
Erika had gone to change into her loungewear and she came out and offered Aly chamomile tea. “You must have gotten a bad brand before.” Aly agreed to try chamomile tea again and they settled on the couch.
Aly began with, “I keep picturing her in prison, like on Orange is the New Black…” She detailed her sadness, her anger, her confusion over how this could happen to someone she loved, how it seemed like Toy wasn’t who she loved, like her disease had taken her over. Then she ended up telling Erika about how she and Toy met. They first saw each other when Toy was meeting a friend of Aly’s after connecting with her online. That had not worked out and Toy later thought, why not? And asked her out. She detailed falling in love, dating for three months, living together for nine, and then marrying in Vancouver on the anniversary of their first date.
Then the clues she missed, as detailed by Toy’s lawyer. She was buying things on credit cards Aly didn’t know about, storing them in a storage unit she also didn’t know about, and selling them on eBay to convert them into cash for gambling. “The biggest blow to my self-esteem was finding out how completely blind I was."
“When people want to deceive they do. I see it all the time. You loved her. You trusted her.”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Trust, then love.”
Erika laughed. “I don’t think our hearts work that way.”
I trust you. I’ve watched you every day for three months. I’ve seen your integrity. Is that why it felt safe to fall?
She basked in the warm embrace of Erika’s genuine interest and concern. Erika listened, she drew her out, she didn’t judge. It was all balm to her pained soul when it came to Toy, but it pained her in other ways. What the hell am I doing? I can’t spend the rest of my life pining for you. I can’t do that to myself. But it was more than she could process for now.
It was after Erika’s normal bedtime when Aly was finished. She rose and thanked her and Erika rose, too, and gave her a hug. “Of course.”
She wanted to pull Erika close, to feel the length of her body against her own. But she let Erika dictate the style and length of the hug. It was a friend hug, across shoulders only, of a few seconds.
As they moved away from the living room Erika cleared away the mugs. “What did you think?” she asked, raising Aly’s empty mug, looking hopeful.
Aly hated to disappoint, but she was honest. “Tasted like soap.”
Erika’s brows contracted endearingly. “Hmm.”
“It’s okay, Erika. You gave me more than anything chamomile tea could give.”
She went to bed with the sweet torture of a trace of Erika’s crisp perfume on her neck,
She didn’t sleep well and didn’t run the next morning. She was eating cereal when she felt the familiar hand on her upper back and the next moment was awash in the scent of Erika’s freshly applied perfume. Erika didn’t say anything, but a tablet appeared in front of her. There was a headline, “Lincoln H.S. Coach Arrested for Stealing”. She took the tablet. It was a brief article that didn’t have many details. However, it was a huge emotional blow to see the familiar name in that context. Toy had stolen from the athletic department of the school. She handed the tablet back to Erika.
“I’ll look into it and call you later,” Erika said quietly.
“Thank you. And thank you again for last night.”
Erika didn’t say anything but rubbed her back and was gone.
Kylie called just as she was getting into Gigi to take the girls, quiet and tired from their late night, to school. “I’m sorry. I was insensitive. I wanted to see you and I was disappointed.”
Aly wondered if Kylie had come to this herself or if she had spoken with someone more mature who had told her this. She realized it didn’t matter any more. “Your apology is accepted.”
“Will I see you tonight?”
“I’ll meet you after your classes.”
Kylie was quiet a moment. “Okay,” she said warily. Aly wondered if she sensed what was coming.
Throughout the day she received calls and emails from family and friends, including Cass and Anita, who had read or heard about Toy. Was it true? They were all so sorry. Did Aly know anything more than was in the paper? Between feeling emotionally drained, answering calls and emails, and emailing others like her father, brother, and Gemma, she did not get much work done.
Even Linda, who never reached out to her, called. “Dave said this is your ex-wife.”
She was not surprised her own mother would not know her former wife’s name. Dave probably put Linda up to the call. “Yes.”
“Did you know?”
“Of course not. I hadn’t seen her in months. We’ve been divorced for two years.”
“Has it been that long? I didn’t realize.”
Erika called in the early afternoon. “It’s been going on for a while, apparently. They’ve been investigating her for months. The evidence is pretty solid. I’m sorry.”
“So I was deceived again. She said she was okay--”
“Aly, let yourself off the hook. You saw her for a few minutes. There was no time for you to detect a deception.”
“Thank you, Erika. For looking into this and for saying that.”
Then came another unexpected blow. “To change the topic…I have a dinner date tonight and I might run late…” It was a Wednesday and the girls had dinner with Julio, but they might be back before her.
Aly threw her head all the way back and stared at the ceiling. “I’ll be here.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. Relax. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”
When they hung up, she crawled onto her bed and lay for a while in the fetal position.
28
Aly waited for Kylie at her car at the strip mall in the center of the city where she attended massage school. As Kylie approached she only glanced at her, then opened her car door. “So this is it, huh?” She threw a backpack into the car and turned to Aly. “Was it the phone call?”
“No. I was going to tell you on Monday, but then I got the call about Toy. It’s not anything wrong, certainly not with you. It’s been nice. But, eventually, I want more than nice.”
Kylie nodded. “I know. Me, too. It just sucks to be dumped.”
“You’re not being dumped,” Aly said, stroking her arm. “We’re both just moving on.” She took Kylie into a hug and her narrow body and light earth and yeast scent stirred fond memories of their lovemaking, but nothing more. They kissed goodbye.
As she walked away, she realized why she had been comfortable with Kylie. Just as with Toy, she had been the more mature one in the relationship. In the beginning, she had given a lot of power to Toy’s college degree and career. But, as it turned out, they did not signal maturity or character.
She drove home to be there in plenty of time to watch over Erika’s girls when Julio dropped them off after dinner.
◆◆◆
The month of November would turn out to be the lowest point in Aly’s life since her divorce. Toy was probably going to prison. She had said goodbye to Kylie. And Erika was dating Dr. Leesa rather seriously.
That month, Aly did overtime for the Milton-Al
lendes on Wednesdays and occasionally other days of the week. When Erika mentioned compensating her, she opened her mouth to protest and then shut it. No, she should get paid. It’s in the contract.
Erika noticed and said, “Good girl,” as she patted her hand.
The lowest point came on a Dad’s Weekend when Erika was gone from Friday night until Sunday afternoon. Aly stayed out of the house as much as possible so she was not reminded by its emptiness that Dr. Leesa was touching, smelling, tasting, and hearing Erika in the most intimate ways.
She went out with Cass on Friday night. And on Saturday, she helped a cousin move so she went home exhausted in the early evening. There she had two glasses of wine and watched an action adventure movie. Images of Erika and Leesa followed her wherever she went, but this way they came in flashes rather than filled her thoughts.
By then she had met the formidable Dr. Leesa when she was brought by to meet the girls one evening. She was impressively intelligent and witty. Erika did indeed laugh a lot on the phone with her and in her presence. Aly’s only solace was Lu didn’t like her. But she did her best to encourage Lu to think of her mother’s happiness. She hoped if she said it enough to Lu she’d feel it herself. But she didn’t like Dr. Leesa, and she wasn’t wholly certain it was only envy.
The kicker in all of this--as though Aly needed another kick--was that after her soul pouring discussion about Toy with Erika, Erika seemed to feel closer to her. This meant she was hearing about Erika’s social life in ways she never had before. And her social life was Dr. Leesa.
Erika regaled her with all of Leesa Powell’s formidable accomplishments. She didn’t just play basketball in college. She played under Pat Summitt in Tennessee and made it to the Final Four. Twice. Then she went on to John Hopkins for a medical degree. After choosing pathology, she pursued advanced degrees in biology and organic chemistry at Harvard. Oh, and, in the meantime, she had married a man and had three children before realizing she loved women.
A Good Woman Page 14