Her stepping back might hurt Erika a little. But it would hurt her much more if the girls felt abandoned because she found out Aly's true feelings and she had to leave.
35
Saturday morning Whitney was glum and Lu was excited. Erika had a long talk with Whitney in her room, and finally Whitney emerged rolling her blue suitcase.
“I asked her to go for Lu,” Erika whispered to Aly in the kitchen.
They were all waiting for Bianca and her Anglo-Egyptian Goddess. Aly wondered if she should change. In the winter, she wore jeans, T-shirt, and hoodie, indoors and outdoors. On average, mornings in the winter were in the upper thirties and the afternoons in the upper fifties. But many days made it into the sixties. Of course, where she was in the western foothills, it was colder than the valley floor and the sun was gone earlier. She liked the option of zipping up or not, wearing the hood or not, to adjust to the varying temperatures.
Erika was dressed in black jeans and an oatmeal cable turtleneck. This was typical for her when she was going out or someone was coming over.
The girls were dressed a little nicer, considering their companions and destination. They each wore slacks, Lu with a pink Sophie cardigan and matching tie for her ponytail, Whitney with a black cashmere cable that blended with her cascading hair.
Aly decided she had no one to impress. If Erika, who saw her every day, didn’t mind how she dressed, why should she care what Bianca thought? Still, anxiety and curiosity mingled in her anticipation at meeting her.
The driveway alert chimed and Erika went to open the front door. Lu joined her. Whitney sat at the bar and continued to look at her phone, her back to them.
Aly, who was standing near Whitney, could see past Erika through the door. A huge black Cadillac Escalade was sliding slowly down the driveway. It came to a stop and a tall woman with café-o-lait skin and flowing, wavy black hair emerged from the passenger side of the vehicle. She had on a long grey coat and oversized black sunglasses. The Anglo-Egyptian Goddess.
From the right another woman in a long blue coat came into the frame of the front door. Lu stepped forward for a big hug and Aly could hear happy greetings in a deep woman’s voice.
Bianca De Mateo was a little taller than Erika and Aly, her skin caramel, her straight hair colored gold. She greeted Erika with a kiss on the cheek and a brief embrace as she passed into the house. Aziza Bingham and Erika exchanged formal European-style kisses on each cheek. Aziza then bent down and did the same with Lu.
Whitney put down her phone and stood to subject herself to a hug from Bianca, who declared she’d grown since they saw her last Spring. This was true, as she was now a little taller than Erika and would soon catch Bianca.
Bianca was an attractive woman with a strong face and flashing dark brown eyes. Erika stepped forward to make introductions and Bianca gave Aly a searching look and a strong handshake. Aly met the look and the handshake. Intimidated though she was, in fact overwhelmed by Bianca’s wealth, status, and assured presence, she was not going to show it. Nor would she show how she wilted inside. If Bianca was Erika’s idea of a mate there was no further proof that Erika was way out of Aly’s league.
Aziza’s handshake was a little softer. She had taken off her glasses and Aly could see she wore her make-up to emphasize her exotic beauty, a hint of Cleopatra in the liner around her black eyes.
Coats were asked for and refreshments offered, but both were declined. They were not staying long. Lu wanted to show them the house. So she promptly led them on a tour as the other three stayed behind near the bar in a cloud of competing, expensive perfumes. Whitney returned to her phone.
As the guests moved about the home and Aly stood with Erika and Whitney, her sense of inferiority began to subside. Bianca was the one out of place in the Milton’s warm, simple home, not Aly. Aly could not reconcile the thoughtful, down-to-earth Erika she knew with this superficial, sophisticated Bianca.
Lu lead her guests through the living room to the view outside--always the icing on the cake in the Milton home--and as they passed Bianca murmured to Erika, “Certainly you could afford more house than this.”
“It’s all the house we need.”
Aziza, following Bianca, rolled her eyes. “It would be a sad world if we only had all we need,” she intoned in her lush British accent. Then she looked pointedly at Aly. “Unless that’s all one could afford, of course.”
When they had passed, Aly pulled in her lips and looked down to prevent herself from laughing outright. When she looked up Erika was looking at her with large eyes, afraid she’d taken offense. But then she saw Aly’s amusement and smiled, too.
“Is she real or a caricature?” Aly whispered. “Oh, that’s bad of me.”
“It’s a valid question,” Erika laughed.
“Well, that is a lovely view,” Bianca said when they came back in and joined them at the bar. “Now we have some news.” And she and Aziza put out their left hands, the third finger of each adorned with huge matching diamond rings. “We are getting married the first weekend in March. Of course we want the girls to be part of the wedding.”
Lu squealed and looked closely at the rings. Erika said congratulations and gave each a formal hug.
Whitney sulked behind Erika with her arms crossed until Erika brought her forward and she took a cursory look at the rings. “Gucci,” she said flatly.
Aziza started to correct her, but Erika explained it was slang for “cool”.
Then Erika and Bianca went to the dining room to speak privately. Aziza was left at the bar with Aly and the girls and Aly invited her to take a seat. She did so and Aly thought she looked so awkward and out of place in the homey environment she must’ve felt she was slumming.
To break the ice, Aly asked her how she and Bianca met. Aziza was a lawyer, too, though she specialized in international mergers. They met when Bianca was suing a pharmaceutical company that Aziza was assisting in a merger.
“Not quite on opposing sides,” Aziza drawled. “Though her firm’s actions made the merger a bit more complicated.”
Aly sat so she could see Erika and Bianca over Aziza’s shoulder. The body language of exes, she thought, as Erika stood with her arms folded across her chest, looking down, while Bianca seemed to be making a point. Then Erika looked up, dropped her arms, and was speaking. Bianca looked defensive for a moment. Then she softened and held Erika’s arm and appeared to be placating. She still cares what Erika thinks of her.
Lu was fascinated with the rings and Aziza told her how they were chosen and made as she showed the details to her. Aly was relieved to see that Aziza more than tolerated Lu. She seemed to like her and she didn’t condescend to her.
Meanwhile, behind Aziza, Whitney had returned to staring at her phone.
Then it came time for them to leave and Erika pulled Whitney aside briefly and spoke to her as the others went out the door. “Be respectful. She’s your mother. And Aziza will be your step-mother. Don’t just think about yourself. You are a role model for Lu.” Whitney nodded sullenly and Erika kissed her on the cheek.
When they were gone, Aly said, “I have a hard time seeing you with Bianca.”
“This Bianca? Me, too. I wouldn’t be with her. It’s why I’m not with her. It’s the choice she made.”
She looked sad and Aly felt bad for having made plans that day. She had only been thinking of her own need to make space between them. She hadn’t thought that perhaps Erika would need a friend after seeing Bianca.
She left a little later to help Toni move back in with Cass. After nearly a year separated, and several months of therapy, they were reconciled and starting again. She was delighted for them and happy to help them. But she decided she would go home as soon as she could in case Erika wanted to talk.
But when she pulled into the garage in the early evening, Erika’s car was gone. Was she on a date? Aly wondered in horror. The next day she found out Erika had spent the evening with Anita. This was small comfort, however, because
one day there would be a date.
36
Erika did not go shopping for the home without Aly. When the weekend was over she indicated she was waiting for Aly, which only made her feel worse. She agreed to shop with Erika on Saturday, but to keep the distance she felt necessary, she made other plans for Sunday.
However, there was a deepening in their friendship that she could not head off without disappearing from their normal daily intercourse. Erika often shared anecdotes from work with her and the girls at dinner. Now, she was speaking more openly and with more detail with her then, when they ate meals alone, and in the evenings when they were done discussing the girls. It was clear to her that Erika valued her companionship, yes, but also her opinions and advice. Their friendship was filling out, which was, for Aly, both wonderful and terrible. It made her more determined than ever to put space between them where she could.
Late Saturday afternoon, after a day of shopping together, they went home and put their purchases in place. They had picture frames, vases, small baskets and boxes, and various bric-a-brac, all in warm colors, to put on the shelves around the television. For the couch and loungers, they had bought pillows and blankets. When they were done, they stood back to look at their work.
“Hmm,” was all Erika said.
“Yeah,” Aly replied. “Not quite there.”
“It’s better.”
They made dinner and had some more of the merlot they both liked. As they ate, Erika discussed a custody case that was bothering her. She referred to it as the “Jones” case to maintain her client’s privacy. She feared Mrs. Jones was the narcissist her soon to be ex-husband said she was. But he was no angel, either. The poor kids.
“There are no perfect situations,” Aly said. “Those kids will have to make choices when they get older and are responsible for themselves. In the end it’s not the situation that matters, but what you do with it.”
Erika was quiet for so long that Aly, who had been concentrating on eating, looked up at her. She was studying her with a soft expression, but turned away before she could read it. “Thank you,” was all she said.
Wednesday was Lu’s eleventh birthday. She chose P.F. Chang’s for dinner and Aly was to join them again.
“From Halloween through today it feels like a whirlwind of family celebrations every year,” Erika said at breakfast that morning. Then she laughed. “Maybe that’s pathetic. It’s only one or two events a month. In your family that must be a light month.”
Aly affirmed this while the mention of Halloween reminded her of the day her life changed. She remembered vividly the moment she saw Erika across the room and the physical force of her realization that she was in love with her. She looked at Erika’s beautiful profile. How long ago that seemed and how much deeper her love for Erika now.
On Friday, instead of eating dinner in her work clothes and changing into her loungewear later as usual, Erika changed right away and got down the Cool Stream merlot as Aly and the girls made dinner. She also left the bottle out. Aly knew something was up and she volunteered it. “Mrs. Jones got custody.”
Aly took her glass from her. “I don’t know whether to say I’m sorry or congratulations.”
“I suppose both are in order,” she said grimly.
Aly clinked her glass with Erika’s. “Here’s hoping the kids make something good of this when they get older.”
At dinner, Erika tried to draw Whitney out about Dana. They had gone out each of the past three weekends. From pictures of the olive skinned girl with the trim dark hair and gender neutral clothes, Aly and Erika concluded she was likely gay, but also possibly gender queer. However, it turned out it was Whitney who asked Dana out initially.
“Have you kissed yet?” Lu asked.
“Sip tea,” Whitney said irritably. But Aly was certain that if Whitney could blush she would have. She exchanged a look with Erika.
After dinner, Aly and Lu did the dishes and Erika followed Whitney back to her room. She wasn’t back until Lu had gone off to take a shower. Aly was still at the bar looking at the living room thinking about what more was to be done. She had an idea.
Erika settled next to her at the bar and swiveled to look out at the living room, too. They were each on their second glass of wine. It was rare that they had more than a glass a night. But the wine was so good and it was Friday night and Erika seemed to need it. And Aly told herself she didn’t want her drinking alone.
“It seems they have kissed and Whitney liked it,” Erika said, clinking her glass with Aly’s. “Mike was not such a good kisser. But she is not so sure about her feelings. She likes Dana a lot. But she likes some boys, too. She is ‘bi-curious’, as they say.”
“And how does Mom feel about that?”
Erika thought about it and sighed. “Mom wants her baby to be happy. Whatever is authentic for her baby.”
“Mom is a good mom,” Aly said, and bumped her shoulder into Erika’s. Oh, watch out, Alyssa. She was feeling the effects of the second glass of wine.
“So what do you think?” Erika asked, pointing with her wineglass at the living room.
“I think we need to paint behind the shelves and along that wall,” Aly said, a hand sweeping the length of the room.
“Really?”
“Yes. Maybe the light tan so the other colors will stand out in front of it.”
“Hmm. I’ll have to think about that,” Erika got up and went around to the cabinet with the wine rack. She pulled out another bottle of Cool Stream merlot.
“That bad a day?”
Erika pulled the cork. “That good a wine.” She took the bottle and her glass into the living room, switched on the fire, and flopped onto the left lounger. Aly settled on the other lounger.
“So tell me what happened with the Jones’s,” Aly said, figuring that was the likely cause of the second bottle.
And Erika told her some of the details and her own arguments for why Mrs. Jones should get custody. All of them were valid reasons given Mr. Jones’s problems, but, of course, they were not the whole story. Mr. Jones’s lawyer had good arguments, too. However, Erika’s won the day.
“You did your job,” Aly said. “You did what she paid you to do.”
“Yes, that’s my job,” Erika said. “If it wasn’t me it would’ve been another lawyer.”
They talked about other things for a while, over a third glass each. Aly was beginning to feel the wine when Erika got up to check on the girls. When she came back, she stood beside her lounger. Like at Christmas. “Scoot over,” she said. Like at Christmas.
Aly registered soggy nos in her mind, but also a certain reckless desire to be close to her. As she scooted she admonished herself halfheartedly.
Erika flopped next to her and they were touching hips and shoulders. Aly didn’t move. She didn’t want to move. At least not away from her. She was aware of the lovely warmth of Erika and the delicious smell of her earthy ash scent mixed with end of day stale work perfume.
“Now don’t pull away,” Erika said, slightly slurring. “As you do, you know. You draw close and you pull away.”
“We’re never this close,” she said, trying to control her own slur, which only made it worse. She drank more wine.
“I don’t mean physically. Although I guess there’s that, too.”
Aly didn’t say anything. She tried to be on alert through her alcohol soaked brain. Had she been detected? She was aware of Erika draining her glass. The wine bottle was on the table next to Aly and Erika handed her glass to her, pointing it at the bottle.
“You want more?”
“Yes, please.”
“You sure? You’ll feel lousy in the morning.” Erika had to take the girls to Lu’s soccer practice and then to the dentist in the morning.
“I’m a big girl.” Aly filled the glass half way and handed it to her. “Are you my mother?”
“Hardly. She’s far more elegant.”
Erika snorted. After she drank she said, “So no comment or
defense?”
Aly knew what she meant. “About?”
“Drawing close,” Erika leaned into her as she said this, and Aly shut her eyes at the lovely feel of her along her body. “And then drawing away.” Erika leaned away, but not all the way away. They still touched along the length of their bodies.
Aly longed for a clearer head. Why had she drunk so much? She should have thought what could happen. She felt her inhibitions and boundaries dropping every second as the alcohol peaked in her system. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Huh!”
Aly was warm from the wine, the fire, but mostly Erika’s proximity. “Too hot,” she said and swung her legs off the left side of the lounger. She unzipped her blue hoodie and peeled down to a white T-shirt. She heard and felt movement behind her and a warm hand landed on her left shoulder. She froze, forgetting to breathe.
“What is this again?” Erika asked from right behind her. Her voice, so close, felt like a vibration along Aly’s spine. Then there was the teasing sensation of a finger stroking down the vertical line of the tattoo on her neck. She shuddered unwillingly. “Three…” Erika said as she stroked across the top horizontal line. “Stroke…” Another stroke along the middle horizontal line…
…And Aly had enough. Her heart was pounding. Her breathing returned, shallow and quick. She reached back and grabbed Erika’s hand. “Stop,” she said hoarsely.
For a moment, neither moved. Then Aly went to remove Erika’s hand and their fingers entwined. Later, she would not be sure if this was an accident or if Erika was deliberately playing with her hand, but this was the fuel on the fire started when Erika leaned into her. She spun around and took Erika’s head in her hands to bring her beautiful, full lips to her own.
A Good Woman Page 18