“Kimberly, wait!”
She stopped in the middle of the lawn, but didn’t look at him. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she didn’t want him to see her like this. To know how invested she was, to know how much Stephanie’s words had hurt. “Go away!”
“No!” Jaxon spun her around. When he saw her tears, he wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs. “Please don’t cry.” He tried to pull her into an embrace, but Kimberly pushed away from him.
“Don’t do that. It won’t make it better.”
“Kim?”
“I thought I understood,” she began. “But after meeting Stephanie, I see there’s another side to the story.”
“So you believe her? And all the hateful things she was spewing out?”
Kimberly shook her head. “Not all of it, but she was speaking from a place of hurt.”
“You know I never intended any of that to happen. She and I agreed to a casual relationship to appease our parents. Nothing more.”
“The thing is, Jaxon, that’s easier said than done. And whether you intended it or not, you hurt her.”
“But I never said that I loved her. How could she jump to the conclusion that I wanted more, that I wanted marriage?”
Kimberly was troubled. “You don’t get it, do you?” she screamed. “You didn’t have to! She got caught up in the moment, in being with you, and if it was anything like you and I...” Her voice trailed off.
His nostrils flared. “You and Stephanie are nothing alike. What we—” he pointed back and forth between them “—share is nothing alike.”
“What am I to you, Jaxon?” Kimberly blurted out.
At his perplexed expression, she tried again. “How do you feel about me, Jaxon? Am I just another momentary pleasure, a casual relationship that you can toss aside when it’s time to go back to the family fold?”
Jaxon looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “You know how I feel about you, Kimberly. I showed you last night.”
“Do I? For that matter, do you?”
* * *
Jaxon was at a momentary loss for words. He hadn’t expected Kimberly to come at him so hard and put him on the spot about his feelings. He’d been having trouble sorting them out himself. Hadn’t he told Kimberly that he cared for her and that she was important to him? Hadn’t he created this entire evening to show her how much? Why was that not enough?
He wished Stephanie had never shown up. If she hadn’t, he and Kimberly wouldn’t be on this conversation path, or at least not until he was good and ready.
And now Kimberly was looking at him with those puppy-dog eyes and begging him to say something, to say anything, but he was frozen, frozen in fear. He’d never told a woman he loved her before. And Jaxon wasn’t sure he ever could.
* * *
Disappointment shone in Kimberly’s eyes as she stared at Jaxon. She was hoping, praying that he would tell her he loved her, tell her that what they shared mattered to him, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t, and now she had to do the one thing she feared most. She had to let him go.
She nodded. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she began, nodding her head as if she’d come to some kind of decision. “You don’t have to say anything.”
“Kim—”
“I owe you an apology.”
A bewildered look spread across his face. “Apology?”
“Yes, because you were up-front from the beginning about how you felt about commitment. You told me that you weren’t interested in a relationship. You made that perfectly clear tonight with Stephanie.” Kimberly pointed back to the Plaza. “But I didn’t listen. And I’m to blame. I said I was okay with living in the moment.”
“But you can’t?”
She nodded. “No, I can’t. I can’t do it anymore, Jaxon. I can’t act like I haven’t come to care for you. I can’t act like making love with you and lying beside you each and every night doesn’t mean anything to me. I can’t act like I don’t love you, Jaxon, because I would be lying to you and to myself most of all.”
Jaxon’s eyes became as large as saucers at her admission of love. Clearly, she’d stunned him. “I—I’m so sorry, Kimberly. I had no idea. I never—”
But she cut him off. “Please, don’t apologize. It just makes it worse. It makes me feel like a fool when you made your intentions perfectly clear.”
“Can you just give me some time to figure this out? I mean, does it have to be all-or-nothing, right this second?”
“Actually, it does, because either you love me or you don’t.”
When he remained silent, Kimberly could see it was a stalling tactic. She didn’t wait for his answer because she already knew what it was. He didn’t love her. She took off running and this time Jaxon didn’t come after her.
* * *
“She has to be in there.”
From inside her condo, Kimberly heard Robyn’s voice at her door. She hadn’t been out or at work in two days, nor had she answered her phone. Now her friends were out there knocking on her door, and from the sound of it, they were persistent.
“Kim, honey, you need to open the door, because we are not going to go away.”
That was Gabrielle.
“You know we can have this door opened,” Robyn threatened. “And we’re not above pulling rank over the staff, so please just open up.”
Kimberly surrendered. She swung the door open, despite the fact that she was wearing her pajamas and her hair was a tangled mess. As soon as she saw her friends, her face crumpled into tears and she bent over as if in physical pain.
Robyn and Gabrielle rushed forward and caught her before she fell to the ground. “We’ve got you.” Robyn grabbed hold of one of her arms while Gabrielle took the other and they helped her to the sofa.
Kimberly curled into a ball on the sofa and bawled.
“Kim, what happened?” Robyn asked.
“We know you and Jaxon quarreled with another woman at The Pearl the other night,” Gabrielle answered. “Who was she? Did something happen after? Did she accost you guys outside the restaurant?”
Kimberly was silent as she cried, so Robyn walked over to the settee by the door, grabbed the tissue box and came back over. She handed it to Kimberly and she took several tissues and blew her nose.
Her friends were quiet as they waited for her response. “She didn’t accost us,” Kimberly finally said. “She didn’t have to. Her appearance at dinner was like a bomb. It completely decimated me.”
“Dear God!” Robyn’s hand flew to her mouth at the metaphor.
“Who was she?” Gabrielle pressed. “Wait, let me guess...was she Jaxon’s ex?”
Kimberly nodded.
Gabrielle glanced at Robyn and they both nodded in understanding.
“Seeing her in person was different than just listening to a story of a woman scorned,” Kimberly replied. “It made her real and the feelings she had for Jaxon were just that real. But he didn’t see it, refused to.”
“So you guys had a fight about her?” Gabrielle said. “If that’s the worst that happened, you can kiss and make up, right? I hear makeup sex is the best.” As soon as she said it, Gabrielle realized she’d put her foot in her mouth, because fresh tears began to roll down Kimberly’s cheeks again. “I’m so sorry, sweetie... I—”
“It’s not your fault that I entered into casual sex with Jaxon. He made it abundantly clear at the outset that he was a no-strings-attached kind of guy, but I got so caught up in the amazing, earth-shattering sex that I let my guard down. I let him inside my heart.” She shook her head.
“And what?” Robyn asked.
“And I fell in love with him,” Kimberly cried. “But he didn’t fall in love with me. I asked him last night and he just stood there, like a statue, while I poured my heart out to him.”
“I’m so sorry.” Robyn reached for Kimberly and pulled her into an embrace. She rubbed Kimberly’s back when sobs began to rack her body.
“He doesn’t want me,” Kimberly said, clutching Robyn’s shirt.
“It’ll be okay.” Gabrielle reached for Kimberly’s hand. “We’ll get you through this. You are not alone. I promise you, Kim. It may not feel that way now, but you’re not alone.”
Kimberly looked up at Robyn and Gabrielle through the haze of her tears. “Thank you.”
“I bet we can cheer you up,” Robyn said.
“I doubt that’s possible.” Kimberly sniffed.
“What if I told you that Trina rejected our proposal for her birthday celebration? Said it wasn’t high-class enough for her. Can you believe that?”
Now, that brought a smile to Kimberly’s face. “Well, good riddance. The Pinnacle can have her and her high-class party because we—” she pointed to her friends “—don’t need her business.”
“Never have,” Gabrielle offered.
“And never will,” Robyn finished.
* * *
Jaxon glanced through the back window at the Belleza as the limousine drove away. He’d checked out this morning and was on his way back to Beverly Hills. After last night, he didn’t feel as though he had any choice. It had hurt him to see Kimberly so distraught knowing he was the cause of her pain. But he’d been unable to stop himself. She’d asked him point-blank how he felt about her, if he’d fallen in love with her, but he’d been unable to say the words back to her. And he didn’t understand why.
Maybe if he went home and dealt with the unfinished business he had back there he could figure out the reason. Maybe it would help explain why he’d just turned his back on an incredible woman like Kimberly Parker. She was the entire package. Beautiful. Intelligent. Sexy. Confident. Caring. He’d been a fool to let her run away last night, but he’d been so closed off for years that he wasn’t sure he knew how to be the man she needed him to be. Until he did, she was better off without him. No matter how much he might miss her, crave her, need her beside him, underneath him. He had to work out his issues. Once he did, then he could come back to her and look her in the face and tell her everything she deserved to hear.
* * *
Kimberly made her way into the office. Her assistant had been shocked when she’d called in sick yesterday and asked Antoine to take over the staff meeting, but she needed time to get her head on straight. Yesterday had been quite cathartic for her. She’d cried until she didn’t think there were any more tears left. Robyn and Gabrielle had stayed by her side for a while and then they’d had to get back to work, but each alternated checking on her throughout the day. She didn’t know what she would do without them. Right now, they were her lifeline.
She went through the motions of the staff meeting that afternoon until they reviewed the departures and arrivals of their important guests.
Emily Halverson, head of Reservations, gave her report. “Mr. Scott checked out yesterday, so his villa is now ready for the Simpson family coming in later today.”
Kimberly looked up from the notes she’d been writing. “Excuse me?”
“You remember Mr. Scott? He’d been staying here for nearly two months,” Emily responded. “He checked out yesterday.”
Kimberly nodded in acknowledgment and tears began to bite at her eyes. She rose and walked over to the conference room window and kept her back to her staff. “Umm...we’re done for today.”
“But we haven’t finished yet,” Antoine interrupted her.
“We’ll take care of any pressing issues,” Robyn and Gabrielle said simultaneously and several staff members looked at them in alarm.
“Meeting is adjourned,” Robyn said and glanced at Kimberly’s hunched back.
Once everyone had left the room, Gabrielle closed the door and they both rushed over to her side.
“He’s gone?” Kimberly’s hand flew to her mouth as she held back a sob. “Wow! I didn’t see that coming.”
She’d foolishly thought that after he’d had some time to think about it, he would come to her and admit he loved her, but he hadn’t. After she’d poured her heart out to him, he couldn’t hightail it fast enough out of the Belleza. Her confession of love must have been so uncomfortable for him to hear that he’d had to flee like a thief from the scene of the crime.
“I’m sorry, Kimberly,” Robyn replied. “Jaxon is showing his true colors right now. I know you need to cry and get it out, but he’s not worthy of your tears if he failed to realize what a truly spectacular woman you are.”
“I know that up here,” Kimberly said, pointing to her head, “but it still hurts here.” She pointed to her chest. “Maybe if I hadn’t pressured him...”
“He wouldn’t have left?” Gabrielle finished. “Don’t delude yourself, my friend. Jaxon is afraid of commitment. Better you realize it now before you get any deeper into the relationship like Stephanie. You wouldn’t want to end up like her, all cold and bitter and vindictive.”
Kimberly stared at Gabrielle. She had a point. But she could never see herself behaving as Stephanie had. And she most certainly wouldn’t have called him out about it in public. How embarrassing! She would lick her wounds here at the Belleza without the public’s prying eyes.
“I appreciate the pep talk.” Kimberly sniffed. “And I’ll get through this.” She didn’t have much choice. Jaxon had left, making it clear to her that he wasn’t interested in pursuing a future with her.
Chapter 19
“Well, if it isn’t the black sheep of the family,” Hayley said from the doorway of Jaxon’s bedroom at the Dunham family estate. He’d been living at the estate temporarily while renovations were completed on the condominium he’d purchased a few months ago and before World War III broke out with Stephanie.
He’d just returned about a half hour ago and had gone up to his suite to unpack. Housed on the second floor of the Dunham’s twenty-bedroom mansion, his suite included a bedroom, large dressing room and sitting area. “Good to see you, too, Hales,” Jaxon said as he unzipped his suitcases.
“Are you sure about that?” Hayley replied with her arms folded across her chest. “I think I was the one who let your secret location slip to Mother.”
Jaxon spun on his heel. “So it was you?” He turned back around and returned to unpacking his suitcase. “I was wondering how they knew and could tell Stephanie.”
Hayley frowned. “Stephanie? She was there? At the Belleza?”
“Yep.” Jaxon walked over to his large walk-in closet and began hanging several items of clothing. “Burst into a romantic dinner I was having and unleashed her rage on me.”
“Wow! I’m so sorry about that, Jack. I had no idea.” Hayley came forward and sat on the edge of his bed.
“It’s not your fault,” he replied. “She’d been stewing for months and wanted her pound of flesh. She got it and then some.”
“How so?”
“Remember I said I was having a romantic dinner,” he said, making air quotes over the last two words.
Hayley raised one eyebrow. “Have you been seeing a new woman since you’ve been at the Belleza? I thought you’d sworn off women after Stephanie.”
“I did. Until Kimberly.”
“Kimberly? Kimberly Parker? General manager of the Belleza?”
Jaxon nodded as he added a button-down shirt to a hanger. “And she didn’t take too kindly to Stephanie interrupting our date. Matter of fact, the whole evening blew up in my face.”
“Jeez, that doesn’t sound good.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Well, you have to do something about it.”
Jaxon turned to stare at his sister. “I will, because if I don’t I’m going to lose her.”
Later that aftern
oon, when Jaxon was on his way out to run some errands, he saw the door to his father’s study was open. As much as he dreaded this conversation, he couldn’t avoid it indefinitely, so better he face it head-on now.
He knocked on the door and a resounding baritone voice said, “Come in.”
Jaxon opened the door and walked into the masculine-looking study done in browns and beige with solid oak furniture. Shock registered on his father’s face at seeing Jaxon, but he quickly recovered and a frown replaced his initial reaction.
His father looked the same, with dark brown eyes just like Jaxon’s, salt-and-pepper hair in a well-groomed fade and mustache, and his favorite weekend ensemble of cashmere sweater over dark trousers that only emphasized his broad shoulders.
“Look who decided to return,” his father commented as he wrote on his notepad.
Jaxon wasn’t surprised by his cold reaction. It was signature Charles Dunham. He believed family matters should be handled with an iron fist.
“Father.” Jaxon didn’t take the seat in front of the desk so he could be scolded like a child who’d done wrong. Instead, he walked to the window that overlooked the pond.
Silence ensued between both men for several long minutes. It was his father who spoke first. “So we can expect you back at Dunham Investments tomorrow?”
“I’ll be there and I’ll be helping Hales with the Dunham Foundation gala.”
“Good. Was there something else?”
Jaxon spun around at the dismissive tone in the man’s voice. “Actually, there is.”
His harsh tone caused his father to swivel his chair around to face him. “You have something to say?”
“Don’t interfere in my life again,” Jaxon stated. His eyes were dark and stormy. His father returned the glare. “I’ve had enough of you and Mother inserting yourselves into my life.”
“Perhaps if you didn’t make a mess of your life, we wouldn’t have to insert ourselves,” his father responded tartly.
“I have not made a mess of my life,” Jaxon replied. “But you have caused me stress and this family undue negative publicity by announcing an engagement that never existed.”
Heat Wave of Desire Page 17