by Marie James
“No big deal,” Jaxon says as he pulls up a chair and sits down beside me. “Want to tell me why you stormed out of the house?”
I treated your perfect daughter like shit while she had my cock in her mouth.
I resist the urge to draw my hand to my nose before losing her delicate scent to oil and dirt on the bike.
“Drew contacted his family.”
He remains silent, and I’d give anything to be in his head right now. Does he know what’s coming? Is he glad we’ll be out of his hair tomorrow?
As much as I want to hate him, I let hope flicker that he’ll be upset to watch me leave.
“They’re coming tomorrow to get him.”
He clears his throat.
“I’m going with him.”
He shuffles his feet.
“How do you feel about that?”
I sigh feeling as if I need a couch to stretch out on while he plays one of the many therapists probation tried to get me to connect with.
“I can’t let him go on his own,” I reason.
“Are they bad people? I can put an end to it.”
I shake my head. “That’s his family. They’re good people. His dad was a piece of shit, but luckily he was the black sheep of the family.”
“But you don’t want to go?”
I shake my head. “I’d gotten it in my head that I was going to be here for a while.”
“You can stay as long as you like, but I understand needing to make sure your brother is okay.” He shifts again, the chair legs scraping across the concrete floor. “He’s been your responsibility for a long time.”
“You don’t give up on family.” I stare down at my hands agitated from the night’s events but relieved to be getting all this shit off of my chest.
“And that’s why I’ll never give up on you.” His words hit home.
Looking up into eyes that are the perfect reflection of mine if only with a little more creasing at the edges, I see the truth in his words.
“Delilah hates me,” I confess without going into any detail.
“Delilah isn’t the type of girl that hates anyone.”
I shake my head trying to erase the pain I saw in her eyes when I walked away from her.
“She may be angry,” he continues. “She may think she hates you now, but she’ll be fine.”
The sad downward turn of his lips are reflective of him knowing more information than what I’ve spilled tonight, but I don’t elaborate.
“Where is Drew’s family from?”
“Massachusetts.”
His lip twitches, eyes growing brighter as if I’ve said something that pleases him.
He stands and claps me on the shoulder. “I get a feeling that things are going to work out just fine.”
I clear my throat as he walks toward the door.
“T-thanks,” I stammer, the words unfamiliar in my mouth. “Thanks for everything you’ve done for me.”
He turns, a full smile on his tattooed face. “You’re more than welcome, son.”
He leaves, the sound of his boots on gravel a comforting sound I know I’ll miss.
“Well?” he says returning and startling me to the point I drop the wrench I was holding.
“What?”
“Come to the house with me. I have some things to show you.”
***
“Hey.”
I come awake in the desk chair with a rough shove to my shoulder.
“What’s up?” I ask Drew as he looks down at me. “Are they here already?”
He shakes his head. “Not yet. Jaxon and Rob wanted us to have breakfast with them before we leave.”
I rub tired eyes, only having gotten a couple of hours of sleep last night.
“I’m up,” I tell him and stand from the chair. “You head down, and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“I went ahead and packed for you.” He points to the duffel bag that is bulging compared to when I first brought it up to this room.
“Thanks, man. Give me a few minutes.”
All I can think about is getting to Delilah. I have to apologize. I have to make her understand that last night wasn’t even close to a true reflection of my feelings.
I wait, antsy and trembling, for Drew to make his way downstairs before heading to Delilah’s room. If I know her like I think I do, she’ll be holed up in her room, avoiding the sight of me.
My gentle knock goes unanswered, but there’s no way I’m leaving today without her understanding what she means to me.
I push open her door, surprised I don’t have to pick the lock like I did last night to get to her. The room is empty, bed made and no sounds coming from the bathroom. The dock where she charges her cell is empty, but I check the bathroom anyway.
My shoulders sag as I close her door behind me, hating that I’m going to have to sit across from her glaring eyes at breakfast without explaining.
Only, when I make my way into the dining room, she’s not there either. A quick look into the kitchen remains unfruitful as well.
I look at Jaxon, at the head of the table as he passes a tray of bacon and sausage to Drew.
“Delilah went in early to the animal shelter,” he explains.
A knot forms in my gut, but the satisfied look on Samson’s face has me taking my seat rather than insisting on keys to a car to go to her. I want to blame him, blame anyone for this change of events.
Jaxon doesn’t mention the lengthy conversation we had after returning to the house last night, so neither do I. The dining room fills with laughter and talk of Drew’s plans when we get to Massachusetts. Drew has always been one to roll with the punches, and I hope he remains happy and unaffected by the bad shit we’ve dealt with in our lives. I’ve protected him from almost everything in my power that could harm him, and I’ll continue to do it even though I’m shattered myself.
It’s not long after breakfast that the doorbell echoes through the house. A quiet, sad calm washes over the household as Jaxon opens the front door. Drew’s Aunt Kathy searches the room, her eyes landing on me first with a quiet nod before coming to life at the sight of Drew on the couch.
He shoots up, and they embrace. It’s not until that very moment that I realize just how much Drew has needed more than just me. Tears are on his face as Kathy pulls back to cup his cheeks in her hands. The pain at losing our mother is clear in his wet eyes as he nods softly at something she whispers to him.
“Don’t forget what we talked about last night.” Jaxon is only a few inches from me, talking low enough that only I can hear him.
“I won’t.” I turn to face him, both loving and hating the anguish in his eyes.
“I’m always here. Anything you need, even if it’s just to talk.”
“Del—”
“She’ll be fine,” he assures me. “Become the type of man she could never hate.”
I don’t even stiffen when his tattooed arms draw me in for a hug. The embrace lasts longer than one I’ve ever had, and I let his pride in me seep into my bones. I’m going to need every ounce of strength I can muster to walk away from her and leave the ball in her court.
Chapter 24
Delilah
“Where’s Lawson?”
I tense at Dana’s question as I get the last two dogs back in their kennels from our walk.
“Probably working in the shop.”
I have no idea where he is. A million miles away would be best.
“Something on your mind?”
I’ve always spoken to Dana, told her about the things bothering me. I’ve used her more than once as a shoulder to cry on when something upset me at school. I’ve confided in her my frustration of not having a mother. I love my dads, but there are just some things, as men, they’ll never understand.
As her question sinks in, I know this isn’t a door I’m opening between us. Lawson said he still plans to work here, but that may be off the table now since his true colors shined through bright and blinding last night.
/>
“Nope.” I lock the kennel and begin to coil the leashes as I make my way to the supply closet. “Anything else you need before I leave?”
When I face her, she tilts her head to the side. She’s not an idiot, so I know she can tell something is bothering me. What she isn’t is a nag, so she won’t hound me to tell her what’s bothering me.
“Not a thing,” she says with a quick smile. “You’ve put in ten hours today.”
I nod and walk past her.
“See you on Monday.”
“Drive safe,” she says to my back as I make my way out to the parking lot.
The smell of Lawson’s lingering cologne assaults me when I climb in the car, so I crank the AC to full blast and roll down the windows. All the way home, I pray that the car is aired out enough that I never have to smell him near me again. It also reminds me to wash my sheets. I fell prey to the beautiful scent last night as I cried into my pillow, but today is a new day.
He only acted that way as a defense mechanism. He’s done it almost every day since he showed up.
To get the voices trying to convince me to forgive him out of my head, I crank the radio up and tap my fingers on the steering wheel. I ignore the fact that people are staring at me at the red light. I can’t be the first person to ride around with the windows down and radio blaring as a distraction.
I turn the music off as I pull through the front gate in front of the clubhouse, parking in the main lot rather than driving around to the back. If I need to leave quickly, it’s faster to go from here than navigating the narrow driveway on the back of the house.
No talking or laughing is coming from the shop. Not one person is in sight when I make my way around the clubhouse and toward my front door.
“Hey.”
Ivy. As much as I love her, being alone is the only thing on my mind right now.
“Hey,” I say turning toward her front porch where she sits with a book in her lap.
“Only a week before school starts. Are you ready?” Her eyes are wide and bright even though there’s a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. The fan above the porch swing is working overtime to no avail.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I sit beside her, realizing this conversation will postpone the inevitable argument with Lawson once I get to my house.
“The birthday party was pretty epic. I’m sure your popularity will be at an all-time high.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “You sound more like Gigi than the girl I know.”
She shrugs. “It’s just our senior year, you know? I love my life and my small group of friends, but at the same time I’m a little jealous of the attention Gigi gets from all the guys.”
“You want the attention Gigi gets from Griffin, you mean.”
“Exactly like you beam anytime Lawson looks at you.”
“Nope,” I say without delay. “There’s nothing between Lawson and me. I doubt we’ll ever speak again.”
“What happened?” she asks on a whisper.
I look away, begging the tears burning the backs of my eyes to stay put.
“His true colors coming to light is what happened.” I sniffle, the action pissing me off because I swore to myself after last night I’d never shed another tear at thoughts of him.
“As in?”
I ignore her question for as long as I can, but she’s relentless.
“I’m your best friend, D. You can tell me anything.”
So I do. I lay out the last couple of weeks right at her feet. By the time I’m finished, and the sun is setting, shooting pinks and oranges across the sky, Ivy hates Lawson O’Neil as much as I do.
The air is thick, filled with unease, as I open my door and close it behind me. The familiar sound of Drew and Samson playing video games is oddly absent.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Pop says walking out of the kitchen drying his hands on a dish towel.
“Where is everyone?”
His face softens as his eyes fill with a sadness that’s peculiar on his generally happy face.
“Sam, Gigi, Sophia, and Jasmine are down at the pool.” The hesitation in his voice is clear as day.
“And Drew?”
He shakes his head and clears his throat.
“Drew’s family from the east coast showed up to get him today.”
Confused, I just stare at him.
“Lawson went with them.”
The second it seeps in that he’s gone, all of the anger I’d had for him disappears.
“W-where?”
“Massachusetts.”
“That’s all the way on the other side of the country.” I shake my head. “They didn’t have a family. Darby died, and Drew’s father’s in prison.”
“It’s his dad’s sister that showed up.”
I swallow past the dryness in my throat and pull my eyes from his.
“Okay.” What else could I possibly say?
“I know you’ll miss them, but you’ll still be able to see them.”
I shake my head again, the almost violent action causing my temples to throb. “No, this is for the best.”
He reaches for me, but I back away.
“I’m filthy. I’m going to go grab a quick shower before dinner.”
Without another word, I hit the stairs, making sure to keep my eyes focused on my door rather than looking into their empty room as I walk past.
I strip my bed, strip out of my clothes, and climb into the shower long before the water warms. I blame the frigid water rolling down my spine as the cause of my shivering. I convince myself that I don’t need him, that I have my whole life ahead of me and he’ll do nothing but drag me down.
What I don’t realize while I tremble in that shower is that I’ll spend two years building up walls against my feelings for Lawson, only for him to come crashing back into my life as if he never even left.
Chapter 25
Delilah
2 YEARS LATER
“Are you going to call him?” Ivy looks hopeful sitting across from me at the restaurant.
I shrug. “Of course not.”
“Really?” She looks confused, but she should know how I am by now. “He was crazy hot. Popular. Muscles for days.”
“They all are.” I wink at her, and she only sinks lower in her seat.
“Don’t do that,” she mutters.
Refusing to look at her, knowing what’s coming, I give all my attention to the straw between my fingers. Stirring my already flat soda is better than facing the best friend that knows me too well.
“You can act flippant right now all you want. You can put on this carefree brave face for everyone else, but keep in mind I hear you crying through the walls when they drop you off.”
“It’s my life,” I argue. “I can do what and who I want.”
“Until it involves someone else who loves you.” She pauses, letting that sink in. “Until you get pregnant or end up with an STD.”
I glare at her. “I’m on birth control, and I use protection every time.”
“And you go to parties without a friend.”
“You won’t go with me.” She hasn’t changed much since high school, opting to stay closer to home than get involved in any outrageous campus activities.
“You risk the chance of getting drugged,” she says without acknowledging my statement. “Getting raped.”
“You sound like Dad.” I hang my head even lower. I can’t hide my true feelings, not even the hatred I have for who I’ve become.
“He sounds like a very intelligent man.”
I chuckle. Leave it to her to throw out some hard truths and still make me laugh. I didn’t start Brown University last year as a freshman with the intention of hooking up with guys that lead to nothing but one-night stands. I’ve had a few encounters but nothing like some of the girls around campus. What I’d wanted was to be different, to be free from the stereotype that I left behind in New Mexico. It took me the better part of a year to build up the courage to accept an invite to
a college party, and after a few drinks, nearly everything sounds like a good idea.
“No more random guys,” I vow.
“No more risky behaviors,” she counters.
“One hundred percent studious and no life,” I mutter. “Got it.”
“Poor D. has to actually go to class so she doesn’t lose her scholarship.”
I grin at her. “You know as well as I do that my grades are great and my scholarship is in no danger.”
She shakes her head. “What I know is that you started all of this wild behavior in May and it’s only gotten worse as summer progressed. There’s no telling what the semester will look like in two weeks if you don’t shut it down now.”
“True.” I smile. “So stop the partying in two weeks when school starts?”
Her head twists back and forth in disbelief. Her finger stabs the table to emphasize her point. “I think you need to practice. Starting now.”
“Buzz-kill.”
“You have to be responsible.” She pushes the ticket across the table. “Now’s as good a time to start as any.”
“Only because you paid yesterday,” I concede as she excuses herself to the restroom.
The waitress takes the ticket along with my card on her next pass by the table. I spend the time looking around the restaurant. Dark, mysterious eyes across the room catch my attention. As if trained around good looking guys, my mouth tilts up in a seductive grin, and he looks away.
Total turn off.
Men who know what they want, who are insistent in their attraction to me is what gets my blood running. Shyness and men that need to be chased don’t appeal to me in the slightest. After the waitress returns my card, I make a second sweep around the room. He makes eye contact again, only to duck away.
Nope done.
“Leave that poor boy alone,” Ivy says walking back up to the table.
“He’s not my type anyway,” I tell her and stand from the booth.
I follow her through the front door toward my car.
“Wanna go do some shopping?”
“Not particularly,” she murmurs.
“It’s Saturday, two weeks before we start our sophomore year at college. Surely there’s something you need,” I urge.