“You are bad,” he said.
“You have no idea.”
I heard him suck in a breath and gun the engine. I was thrown back against my seat at the acceleration.
We rode in silence after that, so I left my hand resting on his leg while I sipped on his soda. The radio fuzzed randomly here and there. I could tell it was getting darker; the sun wasn’t blazing through the window anymore. Josh had finally turned down the air conditioning. The road had gotten bumpier too. Maybe a dirt road or an old pot holed one.
The radio fuzzed in clear on a song we both recognized. I would turn it up, but again, flailing hands.
“I love this song!” Josh said and turned up the volume.
“Really? Why?” I liked it too.
“It’s a love song. They are talking about being in love.”
“Actually, they aren’t.”
“Yes they are. He’s saying he misses it when she was his,” he sang along to the words to reiterate his point. “See, you are mine again. It is a love song. This should be our song.”
“No. They’re talking about a lost love and remembering a time when they were together.”
“Well I never want to forget us together.”
I had to admit, even though he was wrong about the song, his sentiment was sweet.
We bumped along the road for a little while longer, turning here and there. I wondered if he was trying to throw me off somehow by making random turns. It worked if he was; I had no idea where we could be.
“Where are we?” I asked when we finally stopped.
“We’re here,” he teased.
“I gathered that. Can I take the blindfold off?”
“Not yet.”
Without another word, he exited the truck leaving me alone in the dark. He must have been getting stuff from the back because the tailgate slammed open the closed, rattling the whole vehicle. The passenger’s side door popped open. Josh grabbed my arm, pulled me gently across the seat, and lifted me out of the truck.
“Now?”
“Almost.” His whisper sent shivers through my mind and body. I wanted him. There was no denying it anymore.
His hands fell from my back to my hand as he pulled me along beside him. It smelled sweet and green, like honeysuckles, and a little of damp earth. The familiar trickling of water told me instantly where we were. The cool night breeze whipped around me and I sighed. The heavy stalks of corn shivered and the leaves shook in the wind. Josh had brought me to my favorite place. The river.
“Are we at the river?”
“Yes. How’d you guess?” He sounded a little sad.
“I can hear and smell it. I can smell the cornfield. Are you going my way to get there?
“Yes.” He was leading through the maze of corn, our own secret mission.
“I used to come out here after school to get away sometimes,” I blurted out. I’m not sure why I decided to share that bit of history.
“Away from me?” He stopped. He moved in front of me and lifted the blindfold. He was face to face with me. His blue eyes stared into my green, not that I could make out the color of his eyes in the pitch-blackness around us.
“Sometimes. When we broke up it was hard on me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For what happened while you were here. I liked you Jenna, but it was just an awkward situation. I was an idiot. That was not how you deserved to be treated.”
“It’s okay.” I looked down at what I thought might be my feet. It was hard to tell in the dark.
“It’s not okay.” He lifted my chin with his fingers until I was looking into his eyes again. There wasn’t even a moon. There was no light.
“Okay.” It was all I could think to say.
“Come on.”
He grabbed my hand, turned on a flashlight and continued to lead me through the cornrows. The light of the flashlight bounced along the path ahead of us. The rushing of the river was getting louder and the cornstalks were thinning out until they disappeared completely.
“We’re here,” I said.
He let go of my hand so he could spread the blanket out and I noticed he had two. He set the cooler down in one corner and the flashlight on top of it. I looked around and we were on the bank of the river, just off to the side of the muddy area. Grass grew thick and wild here.
“I come here too but at night.” He pulled me down onto the first blanket, then threw the second one around his shoulders and pulled me to him so I was leaning against his chest, his mouth close to my ear so his breath tickled.
“I’m afraid of the dark,” I admitted.
“What? No you’re not.” Josh was actually laughing at me.
“I am, actually,” I said dead serious and turned to look in his eyes. Well, look the best I could because it was so dark and I could not see an inch in front of my face.
“You don’t have to be scared with me, Jenna.” I thought again that he might kiss me but he didn’t. He just pulled me back against him and wrapped his arms and the blanket around me. I settled in and let him hold me. I did feel safe with him.
“Watch,” he whispered.
I looked up into the night sky to see the billions of stars that dotted the sky. I was not good with astrology, but I was able to find Orion, one of the dippers, and I could see the Milky Way. As I was star gazing something streaked across the sky in my peripheral vision.
“Did you see that?” Josh squeezed me with excitement.
“I think so.” I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for to be honest. I knew geese migrated through this area, but I couldn’t imagine Josh would bring me out here at night to see them. Especially since, I had an unnatural fear of birds flying over my head.
It happened again, but this time I saw it. A shooting star.
“Wow,” I said in wonderment.
“There’s a meteor shower tonight and there is no moon so we’ll be able to see all of them.”
“That’s amazing. How did you know about this? It’s so beautiful.”
“My mom told me.”
“Ah. You’re mom planned the date,” I teased.
He rocked me in his arms a little and laughed.
I settled back into Josh’s chest and rested my head against one of his shoulders. The longer we sat amongst the sweet corn, the more meteors started to fall. They shot across the sky in all directions, some with long tails, and some with shorter tails, all leaving glittering trails behind them.
We sat wrapped up in each other for over an hour watching the stars fall, but it felt like no time at all. The air was warm but the breeze was cool betraying the fact that it would probably be a scorcher tomorrow. I leaned back further into Josh’s broad chest and rested my head against his shoulder. Josh shifted behind me and lowered his head so we were touching cheeks. His warm breath fluttered against my neck. White-hot liquid desire seeped into my veins and traveled throughout my body. I shifted against him this time and he tightened his arms even more around me then brushed his hands up and down my arms. I wanted him to kiss me.
God must have been listening because Josh’s soft lips pressed gently against my exposed neck. He kissed me repeatedly following the curve of my neck down to my collarbone. I unfolded my hands from the blanket and caressed his rough, lightly stubbled face. He pressed harder against my neck causing me gasp with desire. I turned toward him and guided his face to mine. He hesitated, hovering centimeters in front of me. I moved in closer, brushing my lips against his. Still he paused. Was he teasing me?
If he was, it was driving me crazy. I sat on my knees, leaned forward, and placed both hands on either side of his face, watching him watch me the whole time. I know he had to know what I was doing.
“Kiss me,” I whispered, giving him one last chance. He breathed heavily and smiled but still did not move. He was teasing me.
I leaned in, kissed him once on his full lips, and pulled away. I moved in again and captured his lips in mine, sucking his bottom
lip gently when I pulled away. Again, I pressed my lips to his, this time he responded. He pushed his tongue against my lips and I let him in. My tongue met his and it was heaven. Shots of want and desire coursed through me. I rose up and pulled Josh closer to me, sliding my hands down his neck and over his shoulders. His arms wrapped around my waist and he held me too him, kissing me hard, his tongue passing over mine.
“Jenna,” Josh breathed. His body was tense and I could tell he wanted me as much as I wanted him. The way he said my name, as if it was the last name he would ever say, sent me over the edge. I leaned into him further, my hands in his hair, his hands in mine. He pushed me to the ground and climbed on top of me. He straddled me and I could feel what I was doing to him.
“I want you Jenna.”
“I was--” was all I managed before his mouth claimed mine again.
I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pressed my hips to his. I wanted him to keep kissing me as he did last night. I wanted his body close to mine. I doubted we would go any further than this out here, but we both wanted more, I felt it in the way he touched me.
“Jenna, stop.” Josh breathed into my mouth, mirroring my thoughts.
“Why?” I asked and continued to kiss him. Just because I was thinking about stopping didn’t mean I wanted to. And we were so close, I just didn’t want to lose it.
“We shouldn’t.”
“Why?” I asked again. Still kissing him. I wanted him to say it.
“I don’t know. Not here. Not now. Not yet.” He breathed again
“Okay,” I said against my better judgment. “Eventually we’re going to have to do it you know?” I wanted to keep going. I wanted Josh. Who cared if we were outside in the dirt in a cornfield? It was a warm night, the stars were gorgeous, and they were falling--like I was falling for him.
Josh lifted himself off me and extended his hand to me. He pulled me up to standing then turned around quickly and opened the cooler.
“What’s in the cooler?” I asked.
“I actually brought cake,” he said.
“Cake?”
“Yeah. I know it was your birthday earlier this month before you came here.”
“You remembered my birthday?”
“Yeah. I’ll always remember your birthday.”
Josh leaned over and kissed me softly at the corner of my eye. I shivered at his touch.
“You cold?” he asked
“No. I just do that when you touch me.”
After our cake, we sat for a while longer, just gazing up at the stars. Every so often Josh would kiss the side of my face, or the top of my head. I felt like I could stay this way forever. Eventually though, Josh said it was time to go so we packed up and climbed back into the truck. I checked my phone and it was almost three in the morning.
“Do I have to be blindfolded on the way home?” I teased.
“Not unless you want to be.” The way he said that made me want him to blindfold me just to see what he would do to me. Instead, I sat in the center seat so I could be touching him the whole ride home.
Josh drove me back to my house in silence. We didn’t take near as many turns on the way back as we did on the way there. He parked the truck in front of my house and turned off the engine.
“Do you want to come inside?” I asked not looking at him.
“No, Jenna. I have to work all day tomorrow.”
“If you didn’t have to work, would you come in?”
“Yes,” he said quickly.
“Okay.” I opened the door and the dome light illuminated his face. He looked sad. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m good. I’ll see you later Jen.”
“Bye.”
Josh slid his hand behind my neck and pulled me into a deep kiss. His tongue wrapped around mine then slid back leaving me wanting more. But he released his grip on me and I hopped out of the cab of the truck.
The house was quiet and empty. I stripped my clothes on my way back to my room. I curled up under the patchwork quilt I had dug out of the hallway linen closet and replayed the night. I was falling for Josh, that was a no brainer, and I felt like he was into me too. Why was my summer becoming so complicated? I slammed my hands down into the bed in mock frustration.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I was going to disconnect my phone. Andrew had called twice, Stefanie as well. It wasn’t even eight in the morning. It was the Tuesday after my starry night date with Josh. He had had to work all weekend from sun up to sun down. Farmers were not kidding when they said they worked long hours. He’d texted me all weekend though, to remind me about our kisses and to tell me I was beautiful. But I guess there were some water lines that needed fixed so he had to work extra to get it done quickly. It hadn’t rained in weeks so I knew the farmers were hurting for water.
The phone rang again and I ignored it. It immediately rang again so I picked up and answered exasperatedly. Not that I was busy doing anything, but I just was not in the mood to talk.
“Hello?” I huffed.
“Jenna.”
Oh God. It was my mom. What the heck did she want?
“Hi Mom,” I said cautiously.
“How’s everything going?” She sounded too cheery and not like my mom.
“Fine, Mom.”
“Good. I just wanted to check on you. See what you’ve been doing. Have you had any visitors?”
I knew then that she wanted to see if her buddy had stopped by for the drugs. “Why do you care, Mom?” Two could play at this game.
“I’m just wondering Sweetie. Just wondering who’s traipsing through my house.” She gave a laugh like she didn’t care, but I knew her too well.
“I’m pretty sure this is Dad’s house.”
“Whatever.” Her voice was clipped and the concern had changed to truth. “Well, has anyone stopped by?”
“Josh Riley comes by every day.”
“Anyone else?”
She was obviously not concerned about me having boys over.
“Mom. Get to the point” I was way past annoyed with this conversation.
“I sent a friend. It wasn’t obvious when he came over?” She sounded genuinely confused.
“Some random guy in a business suit shows up on my doorstep sweaty and trying to sell me vacuums! He forced his way in and attacked me Mom! That’s who you sent to the house.”
“Oh.” She didn’t seem surprised, just a little confused.
I waited a beat before realizing that she wasn’t going to say anything more.
“Really! All you have to say is ‘oh’. You are unbelievable. You sent some random guy to the house where I am staying alone to get drugs you left behind and you don’t even care that your daughter could have died?”
“I didn’t send a random person over there. I sent a very specific person over, but he sent someone else. And you’re not dead so I don’t have to worry.”
I hung up the phone. She could care less if I died. I didn’t want to hear anything else she had to say. She deliberately called someone to come over to this house and collect her drugs. She knew I was here alone. Who the hell did she call? It wasn’t the sweaty vacuum man. I slid the screen over on my phone, unlocked it, and sent a text to Josh.
Hey, you busy
Nope. Just waiting for cows to move. What’s up
My mom called
Oh yeah
She called someone about the drugs, but it wasn’t the man who came to my door
What do you mean, he responded.
I mean she just asked me if I’d had any visitors at the house and when I mentioned the sweaty vacuum guy she said she didn’t send him
Then who
She said she sent a specific person over but that he sent someone else
There was a short pause before he responded. I racked my brain for possibilities, but I just could not think straight. I was so mad at my mom.
The mayor? He finally pinged back to me.
Of course! She had called Mayor Banks and he had sent the poor guy to do his dirty work. Knowing my mother though; she was probably supplying him too. This sucked so badly!
Yes, it was him. I know it
How do you know
Because he doesn’t want to be involved in this stuff again, but he wants his drugs
You want to tell the police?
Tell them what? We have no proof that he has any hand in this
I don’t know Jen. I gotta go, the cows are moving
I sat angrily on the couch for over an hour and tried to think of a ways to get the mayor in trouble. Nothing. I’d come up with nothing. Other than the evidence from fifteen months ago, there was nothing to connect him to the drugs my mom still had at the house. And there was zero evidence connecting him to the man who showed up at my door and attacked me.
I could not be in the house anymore. Just thinking about the sweaty man made me paranoid. I kept looking over at the door expecting him to be there. I didn’t even know what to do though. I thought about going to the river, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to be by myself right now. I would just dwell on the whole situation and make myself feel worse. I looked at my phone as if it was going to tell me what to do. It told me everything else in the world. I slid the screen across to open it and noticed I had a text message. It was from Andrew.
call me
I really did not want to talk to Andrew. I was so confused about everything right now. Michelle was MIA and didn’t seem to even want to see me. She was half the reason I’d come back. Josh and I were doing well, but I was leaving at the end of August. I needed direction. I needed someone to tell me what to do next. The only thing I was sure of was that I was done with my mother. She was erased from my memories starting now. She’d been nothing but trouble my whole life. I wasn’t like her and I didn’t want to be.
The phone chimed at me to notify me of a new text. It wasn’t Andrew this time though. It was Josh.
I’m going to be late. Meet me at my house
Well there you go. My phone had just told me what to do next.
We Were Us Page 10