“Josh. Someone vandalized my house. They wrote whore on my house. Why are you acting like this is no big deal?”
“Well maybe it’s not.”
“Oh, ok, well if everyone in this town thinks I’m a drug dealing whore just like my mother, maybe I should just become a drug dealing whore.”
“Jenna, you’re being dramatic.”
“Am I? Your life in this town was normal. Everyone loves you and you did what was expected of you. Everyone tolerated me in school because you were my friend, but I was never given the chance to show who I really am because I was overshadowed by my mother’s reputation.”
“Lots of people liked you.”
“No they didn’t Josh. You didn’t see any of it because you were too wrapped up in Michelle to ever notice what was going on with me. Not that I’m selfish enough to expect you to have.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that Michelle got boobs before me and you stopped being my friend. You only dated me to get to her. Everyone knew it. Actually, everyone thought you were screwing my mom just like your dad was.”
“What the hell Jenna!”
Crap, crap,crap. I thought to myself. I never wanted to be the one to tell Josh that. Josh’s look of horror told me he had no clue about his dad and my mom. I felt like the worst person in the world.
“Is that why my dad left? Did my mother know? Did he leave because of your mom?”
“Yes? I don’t know Josh.” Shit had hit the fan.
“Shit Jenna!” Josh punched his truck again. And again and I flinched.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
He laced his fingers behind his head and looked up at the sky. I did too. The sun was hidden now, but they didn’t do anything to stifle the heat of the afternoon. The clouds swirled swiftly around each other like they were performing their own rain dance. I contemplated making a mad dash for the front door, but Josh’s phone rang again breaking into my thoughts. I looked over at him wondering about the phone call but he had ignored it again, and chose to continue to stare at the sky.
“I should just leave.”
“No, this is your house, I’ll go,” he said and released his hands from the back of his neck.
“No, I mean I should leave town. I am causing nothing but trouble here. Everyone wants one thing from me and I can’t give it to them.”
“Oh Jenna, come on. Seriously? Where are you even going to go?”
“I can go back to my Dad’s.”
“Really. Because this whole summer you’ve been telling me how you’re not allowed there, how your stepmom doesn’t want you there blah blah blah, and now all of the sudden you can go back,”
“Well I’m certainly not welcome here! You haven’t even talked to me in days. You just stopped with no reason. I didn’t even do anything!”
“I know!” Thunder cracked at the exact moment he said those words causing both of us to jump.
“Then why didn’t you answer my calls?” I said when I’d regained my composure. I felt like we were going around in circles. He wouldn’t answer me, he was being secretive, and now he wouldn’t even look at me.
Thunder rumbled again. We had been yelling at each other in the middle of the street in broad daylight like an old married couple. I didn’t even know what to think anymore. I didn’t have anywhere to go. I guess I could go to Andrew’s but I’d ignored him all summer. How nice would that be; ‘hey, I’ve been ignoring you all summer but I need a place to crash so here I am?’ Um, no. I didn’t roll like that.
I stood there exasperated beyond all means and waited for Josh to respond with something legitimate. Instead, he decided to answer his phone. It had been ringing now nonstop for like the entire argument. I should just hop in my car now while he was distracted and leave.
“Hello?” He sounded just as exasperated as I was. “What?” The anger in his voice evaporated. “Okay, we’re on our way now.”
He looked at me quickly before concentrating on the person on the other line.
“No, I don’t have a choice. She’s with me now. I know. Well what do you want me to do?” he yelled the last part. He slammed the phone shut and hit the door of the truck.
Rain erupted from the sky and soaked us both instantly. I looked at the side of the house, hoping the torrential downpour would wash away the paint, but it didn’t. I sighed heavily, as cool rain seeped through my clothing and chilled my skin.
“Get in the truck, Jenna,” Josh said suddenly. He frowned when he looked at me. Not just a frown, he looked sad and worried. To whom had, he just talked?
“Yeah right.” I was not getting in a car with him now. Not after that look and not after this argument. I just wanted to get inside dry off and crawl into bed and forget this awful day.
“Get in the damn car. We’re going to see Michelle.”
At the mention of Michelle’s name in conjunction with Josh’s mention of us going to see her, my body froze. I was stunned into non-movement. I couldn’t even say no or turn back to go into my house, or even get into his truck. Why now after all this time was he taking me to see her, and where was she that I had to be driven there? She lived right down the street.
“Get in!” Josh yelled again.
I jogged around the back of the truck and hopped in the passenger’s side. I’d barely gotten my seatbelt fastened before Josh floored the gas pedal and sped down the road taking corners without slowing down.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” That was all I got. He stared straight ahead, his mouth fixed in a thin line, his forehead wrinkled with worry. He slowed finally and turned into the hospital. The hospital.
“Josh why are we at the hospital?” What the hell was going on? A million questions flew through my head. Was Michelle in an accident? Was it her dad, her mom? We didn’t turn into the emergency entrance like I thought we would. So Michelle was here, but not because of an emergency. He pulled around to the back of the hospital and parked. He didn’t make a move to get out, instead he sat there with his hands on the steering wheel staring at the brick wall in front of us into nothingness.
“Josh?” It wasn’t really a question. Of course, I was curious, but I’d just been tossed around in his speeding truck.
“Just come on,” he said. He stalked toward the door without waiting for me so I scrambled out and ran up the walkway behind him.
We wound through the bright white hallways and took a cramped elevator to the fourth floor. A few more turns dropped us at a huge rounded front desk where five or so nurses sat clicking away at computers or filling out medical charts. A couple of them smiled at Josh as we passed and threw me strange looks. He ignored them all and paused in front of room 427. The door was half-open and several voices floated out.
Josh pushed the door open. I grabbed his hand when I heard Mayor Banks’ voice. I knew he was behind the crazy man who broke into my house, but I had no proof.
“I don’t think I should be here,” I said.
“Yes, you should.”
And we went in.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The hospital room was huge. Probably half the size of my house. No, not really, but close. A hospital bed was over in one corner where Josh’s mom, Michelle’s mom, and Michelle’s sister Renee stood on one side. The curtains were pulled back revealing a rain-streaked window. I bet they had it open to let the sun in earlier. Josh took my hand and led me to the bed where I knew Michelle laid. Even though it was a hospital room, it looked more like her room at home but with about fifty flower arrangements. Pictures of Michelle and her friends lined what little shelf space there was along with small bears and other stuffed animals. I tried to look closely at the pictures, but Josh’s hand on my lower back guided me to the bed, forcing me to look at Michelle.
Her long hair was the same red I always remembered. It had been brushed and tucked underneath her. Her fair, flawless skin was paler than I remembered and her cheeks were sunke
n in. What had happened? Cords and wires snaked out from under the hospital gown and blankets. Machines beeped and whirred, tracking Michelle’s every breath, every movement, even if we could see it with our own eyes.
I looked up at Josh’s mom, she had her arm wrapped around Michelle’s mom. Renee had her arm around her other side. Tears streamed down all their faces. Despite the tears. Renee seemed to be smiling. Was this a happy moment, but it sure wasn’t for me. I was scared out of my mind. What the hell was going on? Why was Michelle here? What had happened to her? Was she dying? Why had no one told me? The same questions circled around in my head.
“What happened?” I whispered to Josh. I was too stunned to be mad right at this moment.
Despite my attempt to stay quiet, my voice disrupted the family moment and Michelle’s mother looked up at me. I shrunk back behind Josh. I was unsure what Mrs. Banks thought of me after the scandal with my mother happened. I knew she was the one who found her husband strung out on drugs in bed with my mother and she was devastated.
“Jenna,” Mrs. Banks said through sobs. “Oh Jenna. Come here sweetheart.” She broke away from Mrs. Riley and Renee and stretched her arms out to me. I met her and let her hug me.
“Jenna. You and Michelle were best friends. I tried to get a hold of you, but none of the numbers Michelle had were good.” Her words rushed out and I barely caught what she was saying.
“I-I’m sorry? I left my phone here when I left Riverview. Mrs. Banks, what happened?” I asked.
“Josh hasn’t told you?”
I looked at Josh then back to Mrs. Banks. “No.” I looked over at Mrs. Riley too.
“Michelle was in a car accident shortly after you left. The night you left in fact. She was upset about her father and me and just drove away. We still aren’t sure what happened but she swerved off the road and into the Crystal Springs Bridge. She nearly went into the river. She’s been here ever since.”
The Crystal Springs Bridge spanned the river at the edge of town; you had to cross it from the highway to get into town.
I imagined what my face looked like to her. Shock, shame, fear, sadness, anger. Tears threatened and a lump formed at the back of my throat. My best friend had been in a coma for a year and a half while I pranced around in college, while I was bitter about her never contacting me. While I was angry with her when I came back here and she didn’t come see me and how Josh kept me from her. While I cozied up to Josh, while I had sex with him.
Josh.
He had kept me from her.
Jack. Ass.
Now I was angry with Josh. I hugged Mrs. Banks again, this time a little tighter.
“I’m so sorry; I had no idea.”
“I heard you were back in town and wondered why you hadn’t come to see her, or even stopped by the house.”
“I didn’t know,” I said again, shooting a glare at Josh. “So what happened tonight? Why the mad rush? Is she okay?” I’d moved away from Josh. I was so mad at him.
“She woke up,” Renee said.
“Oh wow. Well that’s good, right?”
“Yeah. But we’ve had a few false hopes.”
“I see.” I stared down at Michelle. She’d lost weight. She had always been a little on the chubby side. When I stayed the night at her house, we would compare notes. She wanted to be skinny like I was and I wanted nice boobs like hers. I laughed a little at the memory.
“So she’s waking up?” I asked.
“Well her monitors spiked early this morning. They have been all summer actually. The first time it happened we didn’t leave her room for three days in hopes that she’d wake up,”
“Like brain activity spikes?”
“Yes and bodily movements. Involuntary movements are normal, but some of her nurses have seen her raise her hands up and reach for something,” Renee said.
“I see.” I knew from my limited knowledge of psychology that these activities could really mean anything. She could be waking up, or her brain could just be stimulated by food or medications or anything really.
“May I talk to her?” I asked. I had so many things I wanted to say to her. I wanted to tell her about my time in college, about Andrew, about how much I’d missed her. I wanted to tell her about Josh, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. Mostly I just wanted to hear her voice, but that seemed a little impossible now.
“Of course you can honey,” Mrs. Banks said. She ushered me toward the bed. I heard Josh cough and shuffle behind me but I ignored him.
I walked over to her bed and sat down in the folding chair that was set up next to it. The sheets were wrinkled under her hands so I straightened them. I brushed her hand and it twitched, so I grabbed it.
“Michelle? Michelle its Jenna. I’m here.” I was suddenly at a loss for words. After all the conversations I’d had in my head with her, after all the times I knew what I wanted to say to her, I had nothing. “I moved back for the summer. I’m sorry I didn’t come visit you sooner, I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t know anything. I’m so sorry.” Tears burst from my eyes and I pressed her hand to my damp cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
I sat like this for only a few minutes before her hand twitched again. I looked over at Mrs. Banks and Mrs. Riley. I had no clue where Josh was. Probably still behind me.
“Michelle?” I said again. A few more minutes passed before I heard a faint whisper or maybe a cough.
“Michelle?” My voice was all high and breaking with tears.
She turned her head slowly to me; it was like something out of a horror movie. If she wasn’t my best friend, I’d think she would spew green goo all over me at any minute. Her eyes fluttered open and locked with mine.
“I was expecting Channing Tatum,” she croaked.
Stunned by her choice of words, I was speechless. I looked to the moms, then to Renee, hoping they’d have some kind of explanation.
“I’m sorry?” What else was I supposed to say?
Everyone shifted uncomfortably. Renee let out a small cough from across the room that sounded suspiciously like she was covering up a laugh. Is this really what people say when they wake up from a coma?
“Sweetheart. Do you know where you are?” Mrs. Banks asked, moving beside me. I wanted to get up and let her sit beside her daughter, but she had her hand on my shoulder effectively holding me in place.
“Yes. I’m in a hospital,” she said matter of factually.
Everyone shifted again. Michelle looked from me up to the ceiling. She was extremely coherent for just waking up.
“How long have you been awake?” I asked.
“She just opened her eyes,” Josh said from behind me.
“Thank you Captain Obvious,” I said, not looking at him.
“Since you came back to town,” she said quickly before I could say anything else.
“How do you know when I came back?”
“Josh told me.”
I turned around I shot a glance at Josh.
“What do you mean, Sweetheart?” Mrs. Banks asked.
“I’ve been able to hear what’s been going on for a while now. I mean, I guess a while, I haven’t exactly been able to tell time.” Her voice was hoarse and scratchy. I wanted to tell her to stop talking, but I was too baffled to say anything.
“Oh Honey, why didn’t you just tell us?” Mrs. Banks asked again.
“I wanted to, but I couldn’t.” She was still staring at the ceiling.
What else had he told her while he thought she was asleep? Is that why she wasn’t looking at me? I was ashamed of my actions this summer. I’d completely blown off my best friend and then slept with her boyfriend. I hadn’t even inquired about her any further than Josh. I was a terrible friend.
“That’s weird,” I said, unable to form normal thoughts.
“If you’d kissed me I might have woken up sooner,” Michelle quipped.
This time Renee did laugh and so did her mom.
“What else did Josh tell you?”
“N
othing really. He hasn’t been around much lately.”
“I see.” I looked back at Josh again.
Several nurses and doctors came in at that moment. Mrs. Riley had gone to notify them that Michelle had woken up. I moved back away from her bed and rejoined Josh at the back of the room. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the hallway.
“She doesn’t know anything else about us,” he said quietly like Michelle could still hear us. She couldn’t.
“Why did you keep this from me?” I was livid. I could barely contain the anger I felt at this moment.
Josh just stared at me like I’d grown a third arm or something. But really, why had he kept this from me? He’d listened to me for weeks now talk about how I missed Michelle and how I was angry she hadn’t called. He’d specifically told me not to call her or go see her. Even after her dad attacked me, he still urged me not to contact her.
“I don’t know,” he finally said after the longest pause ever.
“This is insane Josh. Michelle was, is my best friend. I had a right to know she’d been lying in a coma for a year and half. God Josh. Why did you think it was okay to do this? It wasn’t your place.” I was yelling now, tears threatened behind my eyes.
“Keep your voice down.”
“Oh no. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.”
“Jenna.” Josh reached for me but I pulled away.
“No.”
I turned away from him and went back into Michelle’s room. The doctors and nurses were still huddled around her bed, but I could see that she was sitting up now. A wave of memories flooded my mind and the threatening tears spilled down my cheeks.
Michelle and I had over a decade of memories together. We’d met one day when my mom sent me out of the house for some reason, probably a guy or drugs, or both. I didn’t know where to go so I just walked. After wandering the town for over an hour, I found a playground and parked myself on the swings. I hooked my arms around the chains and leaned forward so I swung slowly back and forth and dragged my feet in the dirt. I was watching the grass grow when a pair of hot pink glittery flip flops came into view. When I glanced up to meet the owner of the shoes, I was met with a smile.
We Were Us Page 16