I really wasn’t taking as much back with me and I had the whole back seat of my car open for her stuff. And boy did she have a lot of stuff.
“Did you pack your whole room?” I asked as I walked around to the back of their car.
“Yeah pretty much,” Michelle replied.
We started moving stuff to my car, boxes, suitcases, bedroom stuff. We squished her pillows in around our stuff and closed the trunk quickly. It was going to be interesting when we opened it after a five hour drive.
“You girls be careful okay. Call me when you get to Brookhaven. I got Michelle a new phone,” Mrs. Banks said as she hugged each of us. “Where’s Josh? I thought he’d be here to see you two off.” I looked down at my shoes awkwardly.
I’d told Michelle what had happened between Josh and me. She was supportive of me and we took turns calling him a jerk-faced douchebag and other immature insults. It didn’t really accomplish anything, or even make me feel better about the situation, but we laughed about it together.
“He’s not coming Mom, he was a jerk to Jenna the other day so he’s just not coming,” Michelle piped up.
“Oh, well I’m sorry to hear that. I know you three used to be close.” She gave us a sad smile and hugged us again.
“You take care of her okay?” Mrs. Banks said when she hugged me.
I felt bad taking Michelle from her so soon after her husband had left, but Renee was still going to be here and Mrs. Banks and Mrs. Riley were good friends.
To be honest, I had half expected Josh to be here to say goodbye, but the other half of me wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t. I’d sent him a text to let him know that I was leaving. I’m sure he and Michelle had talked at some point, but it would have been nice just to say goodbye to him.
With a few last hugs and goodbyes, Michelle and I hopped in the car and drove off down the dust road and out of Riverview, forever.
Epilogue
Josh
The damned song was on the radio again, the one I’d been so adamant about making Jenna’s and my song. The smallest thought of her brought all the memories I had of her flooding into my mind. God I missed her. I missed when she was mine. This song said exactly how I felt about her. I missed her next to me in my truck. I missed the way her perfume filled the cab and lingered after she was gone. I missed the way she fit so perfectly into my arms. I missed just being us on her ugly couch just watching movies. I missed us at the river. God, I missed the river. I hadn’t been able to go there since she left.
I couldn’t escape her. Not now that I finally understood what Jenna was talking about. This song wasn’t a love song. It wasn’t about two people falling in love, it was about two people remembering the time when they were in love, but were not anymore. Jenna was right.
I flipped the radio off, with my luck it would just be playing on another station. I turned down the old dirt road and floored the accelerator. Dust and rocks kicked out from under the back tires, leaving a dust trail behind me. I was going nowhere fast, I just needed to get away, and I was going to the one place that would fill the void she created when she left. The river.
Jenna had always claimed the river as hers, but I liked to think of it as mine. It held a lifetime of firsts for me. The first time I caught a fish with my dad, my first time swimming, the first time I saw a girl naked; Jenna, the first time I kissed a girl; Jenna again, I lost my virginity here with Jenna, and this first time I fell in love. It amazed me how connected I was with Jenna and the river.
I skidded to a stop just before I would have driven into the water. I liked living on the edge like that. No, not really, but the rush of being so close to plunging my truck into the river was exhilarating. I hopped out and threw my shirt and shoes into the back of the truck and walked right into the river, letting shallow waves splash against me.
I let my hands skim the top of the water and closed my eyes as I walked further out into the river. I could almost feel Jenna beside me. I remembered the day we met here after her run in with the mayor. I’d known something was up, but I waited to let her speak. When she didn’t, I moved closer to her and felt her respond to my touch. We’d been playing at the edge of something for a while now, but we’d always stopped before going too far. In that moment though, I wanted to go too far. I needed to. I couldn’t stand to be that close to her and not go all the way. When she followed my lead, I took it and ran with it.
I didn’t know the difference between just sex and making love, but I knew then that I was in love with Jenna. She made me feel complete, the way she laughed at my jokes, the way she touched me and kissed me, and made me feel wanted and needed. I needed Jenna this summer. I was desperate to hold on to her, to anything about her, anything she’d give me and she gave me everything.
It was a confusing time for everyone. Jenna being back, Jenna and I rekindling our relationship, then Michelle waking up. I didn’t know what to think or do. I felt obligation to Michelle because we had been together right before her accident, but Jenna made me feel alive again after so many dark days.
I shook my head. I’d ruined everything. I hadn’t listened to my heart. It had said go with Jenna, she wants you while my head said, be with Michelle, she needs you. Jenna had said over and over again that she wasn’t going to come back and that was what had made me turn away from her.
I dove under the clear, cool water and let the memories of the summer wash away from me. I didn’t want to remember them anymore. Jenna and Michelle were both gone and I was left with nothing, only the memories of when we were us.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Heather Diemer is a Midwest girl who lives in the in the picturesque Flint Hills of Kansas with her husband and two children. If she's not reading or writing, or thinking about reading or writing, you can find her outside with her camera capturing the beauty of everything around her.
You can find Heather on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/HDAuthor or on twitter at @heatherforreal
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