by Beth Wiseman
“Well, ladies, we wanted to see your shop and say hello. Lillian, it was a pleasure to see you again.” He turned his attention to Sadie. “And Sadie, this is a great place you have here.”
“Danki,” she whispered. Lillian was going to get hold of her the minute Kade and Tyler were out the door. This Sadie knew. “Oh, and Sadie, I wanted to let you know—Tyler and I are going to venture out this afternoon. I think it’s time we see Lancaster County.” Kade pointed toward the barn. “My car is back. I arranged for some men to dig it out of the snow and bring it back, but Tyler and I are going to take a cab. Not only do I not drive very well in the snow, but I think that driving, reading a map, and Tyler in the car . . . well, it might be a little much.”
“Here, take this.” Lillian handed Kade a pamphlet they kept on the counter. “It’s an off-the-beaten-path map. It’ll take you away from the touristy places to real Amish shops, bakeries, and such. We like to share this with our customers.”
Kade accepted it and waved as he headed out the door.
It took every ounce of Sadie’s willpower not to say, “Will I see you for supper?” but she reminded herself that things had changed now that the blizzard was over. And she found that thought most depressing.
The bell on the door was still ringing from Kade and Tyler’s exit when Lillian said with a grin, “Oh, my. What has my best friend been up to?”
It was early afternoon when Sarah Jane, Katie Ann, Mary Ellen, and Rebecca showed up at the shop, each telling stories about their confinement during the storm. Sadie kept quiet. She had told Lillian about her past few days, but only sparse details. Of course, Lillian filled in the blanks on her own, and there’d been no doubt that Lillian, worldly as she’d once been, was worried about Sadie. “Be careful, Sadie,” she’d said. “Kade Saunders is a powerful man who comes from a world you know nothing about.”
While that might be true—that she knew nothing of Kade’s world—she knew Kade, the man. But she realized Lillian had every reason to be concerned.
“Ivan found it to be wunderbaar gut, staying in the haus for all those days,” Katie Ann huffed. “Said it was like a vacation.” She shook her head. “A vacation for him maybe. But he was making me narrisch!”
Sarah Jane laughed out loud. “I’m sure you girls all had a rough time, but please remember that I was cooped up for six days with Pop.”
“Ach,” Rebecca said. “That’s true. I reckon you were more narrisch than the rest of us.”
They all laughed, picturing six days trapped inside with the lovable, yet mischievous Jonas.
“Do you know that Pop and Lizzie have been communicating with walkie-talkies?” Sarah Jane told them all. “It’s the cutest thing in the world, really. But I think if I hear ‘breaker, breaker’ one more time, I might snap like a twig.”
“It’s sweet that they are courting,” Mary Ellen said.
Sarah Jane took a seat on the stool behind the counter. “I’m happy that Pop seems to have found someone he cares about. He was a wreck after mei mamm died.”
“Irma Rose was a gut woman,” Rebecca said.
“But having Pop in the house, in his state of mind, and courting . . . well . . .” Sarah Jane laughed again. “I think you can all imagine; I have my hands full.”
“We all love Jonas so much,” Sadie said.
“I’m happy to share him with all of you,” Sarah Jane said with enthusiasm. “There is enough of Jonas to go around, that’s for sure.”
“Wunderbaar gut to see the sun out,” Katie Anne said. She walked to the window that faced Black Horse Road. “And to see the snowplows out. I’ve even seen a few cars on the road.”
“We had two visitors here in the shop earlier,” Lillian said. “They didn’t buy anything, but it’s gut to see people are getting out and about.”
“Is that your Englisch renter pulling into the drive in the yellow taxi?” Katie Anne asked. She pointed out the window at a cab turning into the driveway.
“Ya, I reckon so,” Sadie said. She joined Katie Anne at the window. And he’s in time for supper later. They hadn’t discussed it, but Sadie knew she’d make the offer, bishop or no bishop. Right or wrong. Her time with Kade and Tyler had been some of the best she’d had in years. All the warning bells in the world weren’t going to stop her from a night of supper, maybe some conversation, and a goodnight hug. They were simple pleasures, harmless. And maybe if she kept telling herself that, she’d reconcile her guilt.
They all huddled around the window and watched as the cab stopped near the farmhouse instead of the cottage. Then a man stepped out of the car, one tall, lanky leg at a time.
“That isn’t the Englischer,” Rebecca said assuredly. She shot a questioning expression Sadie’s way.
She pressed her hand to her chest and pushed the others gently aside. She watched the man turn their way, and she took a deep breath to calm her pounding chest.
“Who is it, Sadie?” Lillian asked.
“Sadie?” she heard Rebecca say. “Are you all right?”
The others chimed in, but their voices were echoes in a tunnel, tuned out by Sadie’s own thoughts, fears, anticipation.
There was no way for Sadie to know for sure, yet she did.
It was Milo.
14
TYLER AND KADE TOURED THE TOWNS OF BIRD-IN-Hand, Paradise, and Intercourse, stopping at places recommended in the pamphlet from Sadie and her friends. Tyler’s highlight of the day had been a buggy ride in Paradise. He clapped his hands throughout the entire ride. Kade knew the clapping was self-stimulatory behavior, as per Monica’s notes, but it was the smile on Tyler’s face that Kade would remember from this special day with his son. Kade had hoped to take such a ride with Sadie, but when Tyler saw the horse hitched to the buggy on the side of the road, he couldn’t resist the massive animal. For fifty bucks, they explored the back roads in Paradise, to Tyler’s delight. And the cab driver seemed thankful to be carting Kade and Tyler around for most of the day.
During the taxi ride back to the cottage, Kade admired Amish homesteads cloaked in white along the winding roads, each with a silo and several outbuildings. They passed other buggies along the way, the occupants bundled in thick blankets, the same as Kade and Tyler had been during their ride. Tyler had laughed and pointed at the passersby, sometimes waving. It was their first outing as father and son, and it felt good. Kade was eager to get to know his son better. His fears had subsided, and Sadie had played a big part in that. She’d been so good with Tyler from the very beginning, so natural. For Kade, it hadn’t come easy, but watching her gave him confidence that he could do the job—maybe even do it well.
Kade had been all over the world, but something about Lancaster County provided an elusive sort of peacefulness that Kade hadn’t felt anywhere else, as if the Amish held the secret to true contentment, tucked away in their own world detached from modern society—a world Sadie had given him a glimpse of. He thought he’d head back to L.A. once the storm let up. He needed to prepare for Tyler, and he had thirty-six business-related messages on his cell phone that he’d been putting off. And at some point, he knew he needed to talk to Val.
But at the moment, only one thing was on his mind. Actually, two. The bright-eyed boy sitting next to him in the cab, and Sadie. Everything else seemed distant and unimportant.
The driver made his way back toward Sadie’s place, and Kade recalled the past few days in vivid detail, zoning in on their goodnight hugs. Never before had a simple gesture of affection moved him in such a way. It wasn’t just the feel of her in his arms, her fresh aroma and soft skin—although those things kept him up at night—it was Sadie, the woman. She made Kade want to be a better man.
Kade also felt a new level of responsibility. He was accountable for a lot of people’s livelihoods, for billion-dollar business deals, and a host of other things that, at the moment, didn’t compare to the job he’d been handed—raising his son.
“Sadie’s house,” Tyler said when the driver p
ulled into the driveway.
“Yes, it is. That’s Sadie’s house.” Kade watched his son’s face light up and knew that Sadie had the same effect on Tyler as she did on him.
“Tyler loves Sadie,” Tyler said.
Me too. The thought hit Kade like a jab in his chest, pushing him to a place he hadn’t expected. Did he love her? Was that even possible? The idea had certainly popped into his head as naturally as Tyler had said the words. It was an idea too complicated to explore right now. The end result may not be what Kade wanted, and he was too caught up in the time he had left to worry with what the future might bring. Life was good today, and he planned to live in the present.
“Thank you.” He handed the driver a wad of cash, anxious to see Sadie. The driver responded with an enthusiastic “Thank you!” before he drove away.
“Do you want to go say hello to Sadie?” Kade asked Tyler.
Tyler nodded and reached for Kade’s hand. It was a first. And Kade knew that at this moment, on this day, he was exactly where he needed to be. Everything else could wait.
They walked toward the farmhouse and eased their way up the icy steps.
Kade heard voices inside. Sadie’s voice and . . . a male voice.
“Are you sure?” Lillian had asked Sadie. “How do you know it’s Milo? You’ve never seen him. How could you possibly know?”
But Sadie did know, sure as she’d known anything in her life. Milo’s tall stance, his questioning eyes as he scanned his surroundings—yes, it was him. She was sure. And she didn’t move.
The ladies turned their attention to her. “He’s heading up to the farmhouse, Sadie,” Rebecca said. “Aren’t you going to go find out for sure?”
“I bet you can hardly contain your excitement!” Mary Ellen squealed.
Lillian’s mother nudged the others aside and cupped Sadie’s cheek in her hand. “Sadie, dear, it’s only natural for you to be naerfich,” Sarah Jane said. “You’ve been writing letters to Milo for a long time. And now he’s here.”
Sadie’s feet were rooted to the floor.
“If it’s even him,” Katie Anne said in a skeptical voice. She poked her head around the others and stared toward the farmhouse. “Sadie, he’s knocking on the door. You better go see if it’s him.” She eased Sadie toward the door, even though Sadie’s feet fought to stay where they were.
“It’ll be fine,” Lillian said as Sadie turned the knob.
The bell on the door clanged as she closed the door and looked toward the farmhouse. She began the long trek to what she had presumed for a long time would be her future. Milo. But her head was abuzz with doubt, fear, worry—and, most of all, Kade. She was within a few steps of the porch when he turned around. Sadie stood perfectly still, studying him. Handsome. Very handsome. Dark hair and a short beard, and tall, just like he’d described himself. Although he left out that he had stunning, bright-blue eyes, and a smile that stretched wide above a square jawline. Milo, if indeed it was him, had been much too modest about his appearance. Looks were not everything, but there was no denying that Milo’s attractiveness caught Sadie’s eye.
“Sadie?” His voice was deep.
“Milo?”
His smile widened, and he headed down the porch steps toward her. After stopping for a moment in front of her, taking in her appearance as well, he wrapped his arms around her in what should have been the happiest moment of her life.
She closed her eyes tight. Milo didn’t smell like Kade. He was taller than Kade, towering over her by almost a foot. He isn’t Kade.
“Sadie,” he whispered. He held her tighter. “I couldn’t wait until spring.” He pulled away from the hug, but kept his strong hands on her arms. “I began my travels two weeks ago, but a blizzard kept me away for almost a week. I haven’t been able to phone you . . .” He paused and fused his eyes with hers. “Sadie, you are more beautiful than I could have pictured in my mind.”
“Danki.” She looked away, blushed. “Let’s go in out of the cold,” she said.
Milo followed her up the porch steps, and Sadie felt as though she were in a dream. She should have been walking on clouds in this dream she’d harbored for two years. But instead, the fantasy of Milo and the reality of him faced off like competing emotions, confusing Sadie so that she wasn’t sure what she felt.
Sadie prepared some hot cocoa, then sat down on the wooden bench at the kitchen table across from Milo.
“It’s so gut to finally be here.” Milo’s eyes shone. He was everything she imagined him to be. “I reckon that after all this time, you might have been thinkin’ I wasn’t coming.”
Sadie shook her head, though it had been exactly what she’d been thinking. “I knew that someday we would meet.” She sipped her cocoa. This man was a stranger, despite all their correspondences. It felt odd for him to be sitting here at her kitchen table.
But now that he was here, Sadie tried to reconcile her thoughts and recall how much she’d longed for this day. Everything will be fine now. She planned to continue telling herself that for as long as necessary, until things were as God intended them to be.
“You have a fine homestead,” he said. “I’m anxious for you to travel with me to Stephenville. I read much about Lancaster County in the Budget and the Die Botschaft. And from what little I have seen of your fair county, it has much more population than where I come from. As I wrote in mei letters, our Order is small compared to Lancaster County.”
How much smaller? She took in a breath and exhaled slowly as she thought about the possibility of living somewhere else.
“I will need to talk with Katie Anne and Ivan to make arrangements for you to stay with them while you’re here. They have been expecting for you to be their guest whenever you arrived.” Sadie hoped the last-minute notice would be all right with Katie Anne. “Katie Anne is at my shop right now.” Sadie pointed out the window, where she could see in the distance all the women still peering through the window toward her farmhouse. She was tempted to close the blind, but instead, she smiled to herself.
“I don’t want to be a bother for anyone, and I don’t mind getting a room in town or—”
“Ach, nonsense. Katie Anne and her husband, Ivan, will love to have you in their home. They haven’t been blessed with kinner yet, so it’s just the two of them.”
“Sadie, I feel like I know you so well.” He smiled at her, the way a man does when he’s smitten. She smiled back, but she wasn’t feeling like she knew Milo very well at all. She knew the voice on the other end of the phone, the penmanship in the letters she’d received. But the man before her seemed like a stranger, familiar yet unreal.
“Ya. It is so gut to finally meet you in person,” she said. Very handsome, she thought again, as her eyes met his. “How long will you be staying?”
Milo’s forehead wrinkled. “Not as long as I’d hoped. Due to mei delays with the weather, I will need to leave in a few days. On Saturday.”
“That’s only three days from now.” After all this time, after two years, and he could only stay for three days?
He reached over and placed his hand on hers, which rattled Sadie a bit, but she didn’t move her hand. “Come to Texas with me on Saturday. I have two bus tickets for us to travel together. You can come before the harvest begins, and we’ll have time to get to know each other.”
It was so sudden. Sadie had never been out of Lancaster County before, much less across the United States to Texas. “Can’t you stay here a bit longer?” she countered.
“I would love to stay in your community, get to know your family and friends, but I must prepare the fields for harvest. We only have a small family harvest, and I work at my carpentry. Mei sisters and mamm will keep you company when I’m not able to, and they will introduce you to members of our community, in hopes that you will want to stay.” He paused, then smiled. “In hopes that you will want to stay with me and become mei fraa someday.”
They’d talked about it on the phone many times, and corresponded about it in
letters as well, but hearing Milo recite their plans right here at her kitchen table was almost overwhelming. This was her home. There was her shop, her friends . . .
Milo’s expression was kind, sympathetic. He still had his hand atop hers, and Sadie feared her hand was growing clammy at the thought of leaving. “I know how hard it would be to leave your community, the only place you’ve ever known. Don’t think I would take that lightly, Sadie.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “But our life will be wunderbaar gut, and mei mamm, sisters, and the rest of the district will welcome you with their arms and hearts open. Leave with me on Saturday, Sadie? Stay as long as you like.” He smiled. “Perhaps, forever.”
Sadie couldn’t help but smile. He was offering her everything she’d dreamed of. But yet, she felt almost relieved to have an excuse not to go. “I would love that, Milo. But I have a renter in the cottage. He will stay through March, and he has his young child with him.”
Milo’s face sank, and he took a deep breath. “I understand.” Then he forced a smile. “Then we shall enjoy the time we have while I’m here.” He gave her hand another squeeze.
“Ya. For sure we will have a gut time.” But all Sadie could think about was whether or not he would be leaving in time for her to prepare supper for Kade and Tyler.
She heard footsteps coming up the steps. And then a knock.
“Excuse me.” She pulled her hand from beneath Milo’s and walked to the door. When she opened it, she wondered if her face lit up the way her heart did. “Kade, Tyler, come in.” Sadie stepped aside and motioned them into the kitchen. “You two come in here out of the cold.”
Milo stood up when Kade and Tyler walked into the kitchen. “Milo Troyer,” he said, extending his hand to Kade.