“My students pester me constantly about my dating life. Now they’ve gotten it into their heads to ask about you.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”
I blow out a breath. “It was inevitable.” I pick up my bags.
“Take care of that headache. Hope you feel better soon.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Arriving home, I drop my stuff by the kitchen table and go into my bathroom. I turn on the water in the bathtub and dump in some bubbles. In my bedroom, I kick off my shoes. I’m about to unzip my pants when someone clears his throat.
I spin around. “Monroe!”
He leans against the doorway. “I apologize. But your door was open. Appears I came at a bad time.” He slips a hand in the pocket of his black pants. “Then again, maybe not.”
“Please don’t tease. Today was rough.”
His expression changes to concern. “What happened?”
“It seems our students think Carl and I are dating.” And Lily paid me a visit, except I can’t tell you because you’ll go all macho about it and think I’m unable to defend myself.
His eyes flash. “Why?”
“It got around we’re going to prom together.”
His mouth forms a thin line. “Don’t they realize you’d choose a more superior man than him?”
“Would you put your ego aside and focus?”
“Forgive me. Is there anything I can do?”
“Leave the room so I can take my bath.”
“Oh, of course.” He backs out of the room. “I’ll see you when you finish.”
When I’m done, I dress in comfortable cotton pants and an oversized T-shirt. I toss my hair up into a ponytail, then slide my feet into fuzzy slippers before padding out of the room. Monroe turns from the mantel when I enter the living room.
His face lights up. “This is how I prefer to see you,” he says, coming over to me. “Relaxed and comfortable.” His eyes travel over me. “As usual, you’re a vision.”
“You’re kidding!” Faded sweat pants and an old shirt? How can I be a vision? Suddenly I wish I had picked a nicer outfit. “I’m a wreck.”
“On the contrary,” he says, taking me into his arms, “you’re gorgeous.”
“I don’t know.” Guilt riddles me as I remember how he tried to find out what was wrong and I wouldn’t tell him.
He loves me more than anyone ever has. If it weren’t for his let-me-take-care-of-everything attitude I’d pour the whole Lily fiasco out to him. Still, I feel terrible keeping secrets from him. We’re about to get married, how can I betray his trust by holding back something he’d want to know?
And, why can’t I tell him how I truly feel? With him, I’m not so alone, anymore. I don’t have to be jealous of Mel’s happiness, or wonder when my Prince Charming will come. Monroe has done all of it for me, and yet, I can’t seem to find the words to express everything that’s in my heart.
“Why wouldn’t I think you’re beautiful?” he murmurs.
“Monroe . . .” I feel like the lowest of beings. He’s the most tender, kind, and gentle man I’ve ever known. I’m such a rat.
He fingers a strand of my hair. “Very soft, much like you.”
I break free from his embrace and scoot to the far side of the couch. “You act like I’m so wonderful.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Don’t look at me with that expression. I can’t bear it!”
“Sasha, what’s troubling you?”
I cover my face with my hands. “I can’t tell you and it’s killing me.” I drag my hands from my face. “Do you trust me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Damn it, Monroe, why do you have to be so chivalrous?”
His jaw drops. “You never curse. What’s the problem, my love?”
“Don’t be upset when I say I can’t tell you why I’m all messed up.”
“I do trust you. Is it Carl? Do you want him? Or is it me? Have I pressured you too much?”
“No, I don’t want Carl, and no, you haven’t.”
“Then, why don’t you let me help?”
“I must handle the situation on my own. Promise you won’t doubt me?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Promise me!”
He puts a hand over his heart. “I swear, I won’t.”
“Thank you.”
He shifts me closer and I lean against his chest. His incredible scent fails to soothe me. My heart breaks. He’s the one person I should be able to confide in and the one person who could complicate it further. It’s not fair. This isn’t how I imagined things. Why doesn’t Lily leave us alone?
“Do you want some tea?” he asks.
I sniff. “That would be nice. I can make it.”
“Let me. If you won’t divulge what’s on your mind, at least allow me this small gesture.”
I sit on the couch and try to compose myself. What he must think of me. How this all must look. I bury my face in a couch cushion. How can he be so sweet when he knows I’m hiding something from him? I fight against the agony. If all the men in the Third Realm are like Monroe, I pity us poor human females for missing out.
He returns carrying a steaming mug and I reach for it gratefully. The spicy aroma comforts me a bit. “Apple Cinnamon. My favorite.”
He joins me on the couch. “I did all right?”
“More than all right. Exactly what I needed.”
“Do you feel up to a change of topic?”
“I’d love it.”
He strokes my knee. “Ayres was relieved when he found out I wasn’t going to decide on tuxes without his expertise. He would’ve been offended otherwise. The cooks’ sulking is enough.”
I set my cup on an end table. “I’m sorry they’re upset. I thought they’d gotten over it at Easter.”
“They pouted when you left.”
The motion of his hand and the distraction of our conversation makes me relax enough for me to giggle. Poor Monroe dealing with the servants’ injured pride. “I hope they don’t take it out on you.”
“I assured them you had already promised to spend part of the summer at the castle.”
“If I become a lioness, we’re going to have to be sure to eat at home sometimes so they don’t get mad again.” Silently I groan. The big decision. When Lily showed up I had forgotten. Which works best? My world or his? Human or lion? How can I give up everything I know and love . . . yet, I could never ask him to give up such a big part of himself.
“Do you want to become a lioness? Or, if you prefer, I’d become fully human.”
“What about what you’d give up? As a lioness, I wouldn’t have to give up as much, then we could live in both realms.”
He rubs his chin. “If we have children, balancing between the two Realms might present a problem. Are you willing to give up your friends and teaching here if it came to that?”
“First of all, we don’t even know if we can have children. Second, what does it matter if we do?”
“If you become a lioness, the children would be man-beasts.”
I bite my lip. The thought had occurred to me, but his confirmation of it takes me aback. Images of lion cubs play in my head. How could I mother them?
Monroe chuckles. “They wouldn’t be fully animal at first. A man-beast doesn’t reach the ability to change form until their eighteenth year. However, they still would be aware of what they are. Instinct starts early. I remember having cooked venison because we boys had such a craving for it. Human stomachs can’t safely ingest raw meat.” He smiles self-consciously. “When I finally gained the ability to change form, I went hunting for two days.”
All right, no lion cubs at first. A little of my edginess dissipates. “The fact remains you’d still be giving up more than I would.”
“What do you want most?”
Everything, I want everything. Instead, I say, “I’m still deciding.”
“I thought you should know the facts.”
&nbs
p; “Why didn’t you tell me about the children part before?”
He stops rubbing my leg. “I should’ve. I didn’t realize I hadn’t.” He covers my hand with his. “Whatever you choose is acceptable. I only desire your happiness.”
“Okay.”
“Now, earlier I wasn’t any use to you in helping you relax. Perhaps I can change that.”
“How?”
He tightens his arms around me. “I have a few ideas.”
Before I can answer, his mouth covers mine and envelopes me in a searing kiss. I let out a moan. From somewhere I hear his groan as he deepens the kiss, crushing me against him. My emotions get jumbled up inside of me. Everything from the past few days tumbles out and an urgency overtakes me. His embrace melts away my fears, his mouth excites all my passions. I feel my control slipping. Right when I’m ready to throw away the rest of my restraint, we break apart. Breathing heavily, I try to refocus. Are there two Monroes? I blink. Three?
“Well, that was different,” he gasps.
“Monroe,” I say, panting. “For once, you can have your big ego. You are, as they say, ‘the man’.”
“You’re the reason for it.”
“Are you trying to make me as conceited as yourself?”
“You’ve earned it.”
“Thanks, I think.”
He laughs then gives me a pained look. “I fear, as hard as it is for me, I must leave you. Ayres will read me a lecture if I stay longer. He’s sure I’ll do something dishonorable to you.”
“Must you go?”
He turns away. “Remaining here would be a test of my control and yours. I can’t do that to you.” We get up and he squeezes my hand before disappearing through the rift.
Once in bed, my mind replays the evening. What did I do? Why did I kiss him like that? How could I have let myself get so carried away? Especially after I was so relieved he wants to wait until marriage to have sex. I curl up with a pillow and search through the events. Was it Lily? Did I feel her passion for Monroe? No . . . not her. It was all me.
I roll over with a groan. I thought I was too shy and in control. Lily was right. Monroe doesn’t realize how much I desire him, and apparently I didn’t, either. My heart races. He didn’t seem upset. He was as eager as I was.
Okay, calm down. Think about something else. What are you going to do about your impending decision? Should I become a lioness? Could I ask Monroe to give up his life and be human? Could we balance both Realms? I scream into my pillow. I can’t figure it out. Not with the whole Lily problem. Monroe might forgive me for the secret, but what does she have in store for us? How can I counteract her?
Lily, if you’re listening, you watch yourself. You’ve messed with the wrong woman. One day you’ll have to deal with me and when the time comes I won’t hold back.
Somewhere in a far corner of my mind, I hear a laugh.
Chapter 25: Monroe
“The herd has returned?” I ask, coming back to the present. It’s time I set aside Sasha’s indecision and concentrate on the upcoming hunt.
Bast’s eyes glint in anticipation. “One of my neighbors told me the gazelles arrived back in the Adon Forest two days ago.”
“Why didn’t you say something before?” I rub my hands together.
“You were in the First Realm with Sasha the day I found out.” He stretches his arms above his head. “I sent a messenger and Ayres responded that you haven’t been at home much.”
I check the time on my pocket watch. “I don’t have to meet Sasha until this evening. If you’re free, we could go now.”
“I was hoping you’d suggest that. Alexia all but demanded I go. She wants me to bring her back a big one.”
“Her appetite hasn’t subsided?”
“No, and regular human food seems to not appease her, either. I’m hunting daily.”
“Am I supposed to pity you, Bast?”
“I’d accept it.”
“I’ve been far too busy lately to hunt often.” I smile. “Although, I can’t complain. Sasha is lovely company.”
“I don’t doubt it.” He claps me on the shoulder. “All right, lover-boy. If you’re ready, we can catch up with the herd.”
I shoot him a disgusted look. “Let’s go.”
Leaving the castle, we transport ourselves in the Adon Forest. Tingles spread through me. I transform and Bast does the same.
I shake out my mane. “Put your tongue back in your mouth, you damn jackal,” I growl. “You’re drooling everywhere.” I gaze up at the cloudless sky. Perfect.
“What about you?” he barks. “You’re foaming at the mouth.”
I lick my chops. “Never mind. Where’s the herd?” I lengthen my stride, working out the kinks in my muscles. “By the Third Realm, I’m famished!”
I sniff the air, catching the tangy scent. Ducking under the deep foliage, we keep off the path. The trees grow thickest in this part of the forest, masking our descent. The herd grazes in a clearing, a delectable sight. My mouth waters and my tail drags to and fro across the forest floor. A male raises his head and breaks into a gallop.
We spring from the bushes after them. It requires all our speed to keep up. When we overtake the herd, they scatter across a plateau just above the craggy Adrian Cliffs. I kick up dust and gravel as I approach a straggler. I pounce upon the gazelle, killing it instantly. Satisfaction flows over me. A swift kill means less potential for injury from their hooves. I glance over my shoulder. Bast drags his prey off to the side and goes after a second for Alexia.
I return my attention to my own meal. I almost groan as the rich, wild flavor touches my tongue. The meat goes down easily and in a matter of minutes I’m sated. Bast finishes his meal, then still in jackal form, drags Alexia’s over to where I’m lying in the grass in lion form.
“Did you get enough?” he asks.
“For now.”
“They’re faster than I remember.”
“Having trouble keeping up?”
“I wasn’t expecting them to be as nimble as they are.”
I sit up. “All the same, it was good sport.”
“I hope they remain for a while. Alexia has been craving them ever since she found out they were back.”
“Poor Bast. The pregnancy has run you ragged trying to keep up with Alexia’s tastes.”
“Ah well,” he says, rolling over in the grass. “It’s worth the trouble. I can hardly wait for the twins to arrive.”
“Fatherhood palatable to you, then?”
“I never thought anything could make me happier than being married to Alexia.” He sits up, his eyes taking on a faraway quality. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being married, but having children with her makes it even better.”
“I was thinking the same about Sasha.”
He scratches his ear with his back paw. “Will she become a lioness?”
“I’ve no idea. I told her she didn’t have to tell me anything until the wedding night.”
He sits on his haunches. “What do you want to happen?”
“I’m not sure. I love being a lion, but humanity has its advantages.”
“Except you’d never be here again.” His voice drops. “You wouldn’t hunt anymore.”
I flick my tail. Acting nonchalant, I say, “Either way, one of us will have something to give up. Doesn’t matter as long as she and I are together.” I force back a lump in my throat. Marriage to Sasha is worth whatever sacrifice I might make. Her urgent request haunts me. Promise me you won’t think the worst of me. What has her so upset?
“Flowery words for someone who insists he isn’t a mush.” Bast interrupts my thoughts.
With a quick flex, my claws pop out. “You enjoy balancing a thin line between life and death.”
“You’re not the one I’m worried about. You wouldn’t want to face Alexia, especially now.”
I shudder. “True enough. Your wife is a force to be reckoned with. I’m impressed you’ve stayed in one piece.”
He barks a
laugh. “She isn’t so bad. Just uncomfortable. Speaking of which, let’s return so she can have her meal.”
We deliver Alexia’s gazelle to the kitchens, and I say my goodbyes, then return home.
Changing my clothes, the nerves in my stomach war with the growing anticipation. What’s Sasha doing right now?
“Sir, shouldn’t you wear something more appropriate for the marriage course?” Ayres’ voice echoes behind me as I smooth out my blue jeans and button down maroon shirt.
“What would you have me wear, Ayres?”
He materializes beside me. A frown darkens his face. “A proper suit, dress shirt, and dress shoes.”
“I’ve been wearing jeans to the meetings. It’s how I blend in. No one knows what I am there.”
“I had no idea you were dressing so distastefully.”
I pick up my wallet and throw my valet a glare. “I’m fine in this. You can take your disapproval elsewhere. I need to go.”
“As you say, sir.”
He doesn’t follow me down the corridor and I don’t see or hear him anywhere near me. Good.
“Sasha?” I call, stepping into her living room.
“In the bedroom!”
I stop short. Interesting. Desire sears my veins and images play in my head. Wait a minute. Get a hold of yourself. Should I go to her room? For the love of the Third Realm, don’t act like a randy cub! Throwing my shoulders back, I clear my throat. Think about the meeting. Pretend it’s a business affair. I knock briskly on her bedroom door.
“Come in.”
Inside her room, I find her dressed in a pair of jeans, a shiny green button-down blouse, and the locket around her neck.
“I’m just getting my shoes,” she says, slipping on black flats. “You look nice.”
I relax. She seems more herself today. “And you’re lovely. All set?”
She places her hand in mine. “I’m glad it’s the last class.”
“You have to admit it was rather informative.”
“I guess so.”
“Anxious to have the wedding over, my dear?”
“Just the planning part.”
“I hear it’s a lot of work for a bride.”
All's Fair in Love and Lion Page 17