by Tracy Lee
"You like these, dontcha?"
"They're exquisite. Look at what the creator has envisioned and put his blood, sweat and tears into. Even though they have sets that consist of a ring, bracelet, necklace, possibly some earrings each piece is unique and not quite the same as the other."
Bear didn't say a word; he just smiled then grabbed my hand and brought it up to his mouth where he kissed the back of it. Then we began walking again.
We found a small café at the end of the block that had little desserts and coffee so we both got a coffee and I got a piece of cheesecake to go and we decided it was time to head back to the hotel.
As we were going back to the hotel Bear asked quietly "How you feelin?" surprisingly I felt good, I hadn't been sick for a couple of hours and I felt normal again.
"I feel good, it's nice to have a couple of hours of not throwing up" I said as I giggled.
"That's not what I meant, how are you feeling about what we did?"
That was a good question because I hadn't really thought about it. Yes, we had gotten married but I don't think it had really hit me yet. I was trying so hard not to think of TJ but he continually was on my mind.
"I feel good about what we did Bear… I don't regret it at all" was the only reply that I could honestly come up with. At this Bear took my hand and we walked hand in hand back to the hotel room.
Reaching our room I waited for Bear to open the door. Walking in, it had hit me that there was one king size bed in the room.
"I'll sleep on the couch."
I looked over at Bear and I took it he could see the anxiety all over my face. I knew this was coming, sleeping with my husband but I didn't know how I felt about the sleeping part.
I took a deep breath and let it out and informed him that it was going to be fine that both of us could share the bed and that we had better get used to it, we'd be sharing one for a long time.
I grabbed my night gown from my bag and my cosmetic bag that also carried my toiletries and headed for the bathroom to get ready for bed. I walked in the bathroom, braced myself on the sink and glared into the mirror.
"What the fuck did you expect, Elleny?"
There was no response. I then told myself that it's going to happen at some point in time. So I took my dress off and hung it up on the back of the bathroom door and stood there looking at my belly that wasn't even showing yet as I rubbed my hands over it. "I hope you understand what I'm doing and that I'm doing it because I love your daddy so much. Please don't hate me." Again, no one responded. I took another deep breath, pulled my night gown over my head and then grabbed my toothbrush and brushed my teeth, washed my face and left the bathroom.
When I entered the room all the lights were off and Bear was already in bed laying on his side with his hand holding his head up. His shirt was off and the top part of his chest was above the covers and he was watching TV. I could see from the light of the television when his eyes came to me, I knew I had to be shaking but I couldn't feel anything because I had to tell my legs to walk to the bed. Pulling back the covers I could see that he was wearing his sweats and oh my, I could see every ripple of muscle that protruded from his stomach. Breathe Elleny, Breathe I laid flat on my back with my hands overs the covers straight to my sides and I was looking straight up at the ceiling.
"Fuck Elleny, if I pull you over here by me you'll break in two; you're so tense, relax girl I aint no stranger."
He was right, it may have not been TJ lying beside me but it wasn't like I didn't know this man all my life. Shit, we used to skinny dip down there in Antioch out at Ole man Jones' pond, I had seen this man naked, but his body did not look like it did when we were ten, he had matured and damn! He was Hot!!! I slowly moved my body towards him a little at a time, finally I felt his arm go around me and drag me over to him. When he did this he was lying partially on top of me and he was looking down at me, moving my hair off my face.
"I never thought you needed makeup, you sure are perty without it."
"Bear" I hesitated a moment "I think that you deserve to know that…that I've never been with anyone else other than TJ."
"Well no shit, I know that" he spoke through a smile.
I knew I was blushing but I thought I owed this explanation to him. I whispered "I'm not experienced."
Slowly his eyes never leaving mine he brought his face closer to mine and quietly he whispered "Well then I guess we have a lot of practicing to do, don't we."
And with that his face reached mine and then his lips gently touched mine for a chaste kiss on the side of my mouth, then another on the other side of my mouth. His eyes weren't closed and they never left mine. Another kiss, this one right in the middle of my lips nothing indelicate, just innocent, slow closed-mouth kisses. He was being so romantic. The next kiss his tongue touched my lips ever so softly and then pulled back.
"Mmmmm, you taste so good, Ellie."
He swiped his tongue over my lips again and I puckered my lips this time and blinked lazily while he did it.
"Just like honey on my tongue."
"Bear" I breathed. This time when he came back for another taste I parted my lips just a tad so that the tip of my tongue could touch the tip of his and he moaned. His hand moved up so that his thumb brushed my cheek but his hand held my head up so that I could get closer to him. I could feel that he was getting aroused it was laying on my leg…and hard….and long. Thinking to myself I began chanting holy shit…holy shit…holy shit.
"Baby, you gotta relax."
"I'm trying."
He came back to kiss me and grabbed my bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth. I pulled back and his hand resisted bringing me back up to him. I wrapped my top lip around his bottom lip and touched my tongue to his and that was all it took. He kissed me again and his tongue touched between my lips and I parted letting him in and I closed my eyes. All I could picture was TJ, he was the one I wanted here with me in this bed on our wedding night. I just kept kissing Bear as though it was TJ. The kiss got hotter and the moans coming from him were getting louder then he started moving his hips. Rotating his hips against my pelvis I knew that this foreplay wasn't going to be lasting very much longer. I wrapped my arms around him and ran my hands up and down his back. He seemed to be thicker then TJ, broader. As the kiss deepened my hands went further down his back, slowly they began creeping into the top of his sweatpants.
"Yeah baby, grab my ass."
Oh shit, did he just tell me to grab his ass?
So I squeezed his ass in my hands and dug my nails into his cheeks. He muttered "oh fuck" so I was taking it that he liked that. Gradually, he moved himself so that he was between my legs and I opened and allowed him entrance. Pulling my nightgown up over my head I was naked other than my panties and I felt so self-conscious my hands went immediately over my breasts.
"Baby, don't cover yourself. Do you know how long I have fantasized about just one moment like this…with you?"
I'm sure he couldn't see it but my mouth dropped open, was he fucking serious? I had to tell myself to breathe in, breathe out; I couldn't even answer him.
"I… I… dddidn't… ummm… know… that, Bear."
He stopped for a moment and we both sat up against the headboard. He looked down at his lap "Don't get me wrong, I loved Rachel; but you…" He shook his head "you were like… a fantasy. It always seemed you and Trev would be together forever; inseparable. Not to be an ass though, I never thought I was good enough for you, Ellie. I wasn't rich, hell my parents were fuckin fruitcakes; I didn't have the best, Ellie; and you grew up with the best of the best. Plus you were pretty far up TJ's ass to ever even look at me as anything other than his friend." He chuckled.
Shocked, the only thing that came to mind was "I guess you're right, I was pretty high up there; in his ass, that is." I was not about to bring TJ into the middle of us right now, especially like this, his erection was knocking on my vagina's front door and these FUCKING hormones were sprinting to the door to let him in. I was also
having a hard enough time trying not to make Bear totally invisible and putting TJ's face on him right now. Fuck!! I had to stop this. "But now I'm not and I'm here with you, so let's not think of him ok, Sweetie?" I said as I rubbed his cheek with my hand. "Now, where were we?"
He smiled and moved my hand away from my breast and gently went and hovered over it just gazing down at my chest.
"I can't believe this is happenin"; he murmured as he went down to run his tongue over my left nipple. I closed my eyes but arched my back to urge him to keep going. He took the hint and shifted over to the right one. His warm breath and the soft tissue of his tongue sweeping over me was an amazing feeling. I bowed further into him.
"Goddamn girl, you want it bad, dontcha!"
Blushing a little and feeling my temper rising from embarrassment I blamed it all on the pregnancy.
"These fucking hormones are insane…I'm sorry, if you want to stop I will understand."
"There aint no way in hell I'm stopping what we're doin…I love it!"
Seriously then shut the fuck up and keep going was what my hormones were telling my brain to say oh my god call a fucking priest, I need an exorcism, I'm possessed! but I didn't say shit I just let him hold the reigns and drive on.
While still showing my breasts ample attention he began to move his hand down lower, over my stomach, lower down over my panties and that's when I realized I had no control over this body anymore, not one single cell in my body was mine to command. My panties felt like they had been ran through the sink and I put them back on soaking wet. Are you fucking kidding me???
I tensed up, because I knew he noticed it as well, but he didn't say a word. He did notice the tensing up though.
"Elleny, it's ok. Didn't we have this chat earlier where you told me your body was going to be doing some crazy things? Well if this is crazy then honey, you are going to be staying pregnant."
I busted out laughing I couldn't help it, I was beyond embarrassed. I might as well get out all the humiliating scenarios now, on our wedding night, I guess.
Finally, I cleared my throat and I touched his face and I spoke sincerely; "Honey, I'm so sorry that this is not the most romantic first time ever. I'm sorry that I have made a mess of this and I want to start again and make love to my husband the way a wife should on the night of their wedding".
I reached up and kissed his mouth so gently and fervently that he picked up where he left off like nothing had ever happened. He ran his finger up the side of my panties and then back down, I pushed the sides of my panties down so that he would take them off and he did. I pushed the back of his pants down and he leaned up and followed through on removing his pants as well.
I suddenly felt him entering me slowly and his head lowered so that his face was in my neck, his moans were low in his throat, then his face was an inch away from mine and his eyes locked with mine and I felt him enter me, all the way in. He just sat there for a minute our eyes locked.
"Are you going to move babe?"
"Give me a minute Ellie, you're pretty tight. I really would like to enjoy this for more than a minute."
"Oh, ok."
Slowly he pulled out, stopped, then slowly entered me again and when he was all the way in he let out a breath of air, like it was a relief. Then he would do it again and eventually it became faster and faster then we found a rhythm and it was a good rhythm. But something was off, it was like we didn't fit together like TJ and I. We fit like a hand in a glove. I had to stop thinking about this. That was never going to be again. I couldn't keep comparing Bear to TJ.
Just as I thought this I felt the tightening in my belly my legs wrapped around Bear's back so I could get closer to him. My breathing became more erratic. Fuck…it was coming and I could tell he was getting close too because he started moaning and mumbling.
It hit me, it had been several weeks since I had had sex and this orgasm hit me like a tidal wave. I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn't breathe I just opened my mouth to scream and nothing came out the whole time I rode over the wave of ecstasy. Smiling, I knew what it was; fucking hormones, I said to myself as calm and as peaceful as a hippy smoking the best fatty he had ever rolled.
"You ok?" I heard Bear's voice somewhere in the background.
"Yeah…how ‘bout you?" I said staring back at the ceiling but for some reason I couldn't lose the smile.
"Oh I'm fan-fucking-tastic."
I looked over at him lying next to me staring up at the ceiling with the same smile on his face and I just busted out laughing.
And we laughed for twenty minutes straight.
Chapter Eight
Present Day
Waking up that next morning was worse than waking up the day before. My whole body ached and I knew that the bruising would be worse. It was going to be a skirt and jacket kinda day. Becoming fully awake I could tell Bear was in the bed with me. He was sprawled out all over, most of the covers wrapped all around him. Christ, just looking at him made me want to vomit. I eased out of the bed and headed for the shower I knew I needed to get to work early today not only to catch up on what I had missed yesterday but also to have time to mentally prepare myself for today's meeting. I was looking forward to this as much as I wanted Bear touching me, yeah; that much!
I picked out my clothes, shit, it was going to be hot wearing this fucking jacket but fuck-nut in there doesn't give a shit that I have to go and meet with people. I jumped in the shower, I wasn't going to shave my legs but just because I didn't want to impress the man I was meeting today didn't mean I had to make myself uncomfortable. So, I ended up shaving my legs.
I got out of the shower and turned on the radio in the bathroom to the news channel but I kept it quiet. I applied my makeup and kept my hair up in a towel, I will go in the girl's bathroom and blow-dry my hair, I didn't want him to wake up preferably at all, but hey fairy godmothers weren't real and murder was illegal.
I decided that since I was going to be wearing a business jacket I was going to wear my hair up so I put a ponytail around my wrist and headed downstairs. When I went by the kid's rooms I opened the doors and went in and gave them a kiss on the cheeks and attempted to wake them up.
"Good Morning my sweet baby, time to get up for school…by the way it's cereal this morning."
"Mornin momma, and that's fine" came from Lucas.
Going into the girl's room, I turned on the light and headed to JoJo first since she is the hardest to get up.
"Morning, my angel." I said in her ear. "Time to get up, you're eating cereal this morning and you better hurry up in your bathroom cuz I need to get in there and blow-dry my hair."
"Mornin, momma" I heard come from Harlee.
"Mmmmm" was what I heard come from JoJo.
I went downstairs and brewed myself a cup of coffee and got four different boxes of cereal down from above the in-wall oven. I set them out on the counter for the kids to choose from along with three bowls, a pitcher of milk and a quart of orange juice. I went to the fridge to grab a yogurt and leaned against the counter to eat breakfast and read the paper. I heard the TV in the kitchen come on so I knew a kid was up.
"Gotta hurry today and I aint playin, I got lots to do since I missed yesterday." Noticing it was Luc, he was such a good boy, never gave his momma no problems, other than wanting to kill the man he knew to be his daddy.
"Luc, can Evan give you a ride home today? I have to work late then I'm meeting Rachel and Lilly and I don't know what time I will be home. I will leave money on the counter for you to get pizza."
"Pizza…did I hear pizza?" Harlee came zipping down the stairs so fast, it's a wonder she didn't fall.
"Yes, I have something to take care of this evening." I replied while handing her a bowl of the only kind of cereal she will eat. Both kids planted themselves in front of the TV and was watching cartoons while they ate their breakfast.
"momma, can I have a yogurt" JoJo said as she came into the kitchen.
"Sure baby".
I walked to the fridge for her and bent down to grab a yogurt…
"Damn, look at that ass! It looks like two pigs fuckin…baby, you better lay off the sweets!"
It got so quiet in my kitchen, a pin dropping on the kitchen floor next door would've made someone in my house ask "what was that?"
I just closed my eyes and stood up straight and acted like it was a normal day.
"Coffee?"
"Ya"
I went to the single cup coffee maker and plugged in a container of his favorite coffee and set his mug underneath it. I didn't even want to look at him so I went to the sink and washed some dishes and washed them again and then put them in the dishwasher. I went to go grab any dirty dishes off the table where the kids were sitting and take them back over to the sink when I felt an arm wrap around my neck.
Luc dropped his spoon in his bowl and stopped chewing. Harlee yelled for me and JoJo just stood up; not knowing whether to get Harlee out of the room or run for the phone. I opened my eyes, that I didn't realize were closed and smiled a fake smile back at my children, especially my son letting them know I was alright as Bear drug me out of the room.
"Bear, let go of me, you're scaring the shit out of the kids." I muttered through my teeth.
I could tell his face was near my ear because I could feel and smell his breath on my skin, even after brushing his teeth this morning I could still smell the alcohol on his breath.
"Bitch, shut the fuck up." He whispered in my ear, while still dragging me out of the kitchen and into the foyer by the stairs. "We need to talk…bout the other night."
"I'm not gonna say anything Bear. Nothing happened…remember?"
"Yeah, you better think twice about runnin your mouth to someone."
It took everything in me not to vomit on this man. I didn't even want him touching me. Now even thinking about it, I was going to have to go visit my doctor and have blood work done to make sure I didn't have any sexually transmitted diseases for whatever fucking hooker he was sticking it to.