by Lauren Wood
“I don’t know man. Gemma isn’t going to forgive that. You know how she feels about cheating. When I was with her, she threatened to cut off appendages if I ever cheated on her. I sort of believe that she would do it. You know how mad she gets.”
That had Justin thinking, and he wondered if that was the reason she’d taken off. While he was trying to track her down, maybe it was for the best.
“Do you love her?”
“You know I do. I was going to ask her to marry me.”
“Not Gemma. I meant my sister.”
I said it like that to remember who it was that he was talking about. I wanted him to reconsider his words. He had just admitted that he was with my sister. It wasn’t like he was going to be able to say that he didn’t care about Sandra. She was my sister after all.
“You know that I’ve always had this thing for your sister and then she just showed up at the party. We got to talking…”
I stopped him with a hand up because I didn’t want to hear the rest. I knew what it was. I had known about the chemistry. That’s what I’d wanted to happen if I was honest with myself. I just didn’t think that it would have worked out as well as it had. He’d taken the bait and now he was trying to find the words to explain it.
“Don’t need to hear about you and my sister. It was just a question. Do you love her?”
He shrugged. “I don’t even know her.”
I sighed, and he looked at me worried. He’d messed up and I think now he was getting how badly he’d done so.
“Well Sandra is my sister. You know that, so I’m not going to say anything about her, but I hate to tell you this, but you messed up. I love Sandra, I really do, but Gemma is a dime.”
Justin knew that. He had to. After a year with Gemma, he should know right off that she was the sort of woman that a man married. I hadn’t done it when I wanted to, and he should have locked her in before he messed up. I didn’t see Gemma forgiving him for that and even though I know that she loves me, I knew that if I cheated, that was it. Had things changed so drastically that Justin thought that he could get away with it? I just didn’t understand, though I really was smiling inside. His loss was my gain. It was just that simple.
“I know she is. Fuck I know. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Sandra was just there and she….”
“Seriously, don’t want to hear about my sister.”
Justin didn’t know what to say and I didn’t either. It was all a mess and I was supposed to be the good friend. He’d lost the woman he loved. I knew how that felt, but I also knew that I was going to get her back. I was convinced and all I needed was for him to realize it and move on. I shouldn’t have said anything. Gemma might be pissed, but I was sure that she would work it out and then I would be free to pursue her like I wanted to. Well, like I already was.
My mind went to Gemma at the cabin and I wondered what was going through her head. She had to know that things were going to be weird and though I wasn’t expecting Justin to just pop up like he did, it might have been just what was needed to get us back on track.
“So, what is this warehouse going to be used for?”
It was then that it hit me. I’d been spending so much time, trying to get Gemma to think about us getting back together, that I’d forgotten to tell the second how we were going to make this money. I knew that he wasn’t all that worried about being a criminal, but I had to go through what the plan was. He was going to be helping me execute it after all.
“Gun from Texas and a lot of them. They will be distributed up here and then everything will run better. We can go further north if we want to, but for now, twice a month, we’ll get a large shipment in and they will be stored here.”
“Guns huh?”
I agreed and wondered what he was thinking. I was still thinking about Gemma, unable to cordoned her off in my mind.
“What do you think? It’s better than drugs with a lot higher profit margin and less risk. Each shipment will be muled in three separate trips and the buyers are already lined up.”
“Sounds like you got this all figured out.”
I told him that I did, and he was easing into the idea. I think that money was the main factor for him. Considering I could imagine how low his salary was going to be, I knew that it was going to work out just fine. The club was for many things, but revenue was a big part of it. We were outlaws, but at the end of the day, we had bills like everyone else. When there wasn’t good jobs to have, one had to be made. It’s what I had done in Texas and now I was determined to do it here.
“So, what am I supposed to do about Gemma?”
He was back on her again and he had a pleading look in his eyes. I was torn between helping a friend and the girl I loved. I couldn’t pick Justin out of this and even if I did give him some advice and I try to help him, I really didn’t think that anything I was going to say was going to be right. She wasn’t going to forget that sort of thing, no matter how much he apologized. I knew her too well.
“I don’t know Justin. Just talk to her and see what happens, though I will say that I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”
I could see that they were already way up and all it was going to do was make it all the more difficult. I wanted to tell him that he was just going to have to get over her. She was mine. But I held that part in. He was going to have to learn his own way and I was going to have to just shut my mouth.
“I have to get her back. I don’t know what I was thinking, and I don’t want anyone else. Gemma’s always been what I wanted. You know that even when you were dating her, I had the biggest crush on her. Now I finally have her and I fucked it all up. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
I didn’t know what to tell him and finally I figured that the best bet would be to get something to drink. I wanted to get away from Hartford for a while and get away from it all, but Justin wanted to go to the bar that Gemma worked at. Gemma would be pissed if she knew that I told him about Sandra. She was holding out on it for some reason and I was trying to push it over into the other direction. I needed her to see that I was on her side, even though they both were close to me. At the end of the day, as it was becoming clear as Justin asked for my help that I was going to pick Gemma. She was the one that I was worried about getting back and the shower this morning reminded me of why. I wanted her so badly that it hurt.
“You just have to throw yourself to her mercy, admit what you did and see what she says. Don’t tell her that I told you about it though. I think that was told in confidence and I don’t want that attitude pointed towards me.”
“Yeah, I hear that. She is a bit scary when she is mad. I can’t believe how much has changed in the last week.”
I felt the same way. This had been one hell of an eventful week and I wasn’t even thinking about Matt and his arresting me. No, it was Gemma that made all the difference in the world. The thing was, it had always been Gemma.
“Do you really think that’s going to work?”
I shrugged and told him that I didn’t know. Inside, I was hoping that it wouldn’t. I know that made me wonder if he would somehow win her back. He’d gotten her in the first place, something I would have never considered likely, so who was to say that he wouldn’t create another miracle?
Gemma
Geni was there when I got to work, and she had a smile on her face. I was happy for that. It meant that her and Scott were getting along. It made for a better night and she was gushing over a bracelet that he’d gotten her. She really was blinded by some shiny gold and I was happy for her. They should just get married and get it over with.
“So how was your day off?”
My mind went to Frank and I kind of smiled.
“It was alright. I didn’t see you at the party. Did you come?”
Geni said she did, her and Scott, but I didn’t see either one of them. Most likely, the reason was because I had taken off with Frank not too long into it. It hadn’t taken Justin no time at all to get himself
with another woman.
“Yeah, it was a good one, though there was so many people there.”
“I know. Frank’s sister showed up.”
“Yeah? How is she?”
“Bitchy as ever and you would never guess what I walked in on?”
She leaned in for the dirt and I had to chuckle a little. She was shameless when it came to gossip, and I knew that even though it was devastating for me, the fact of the matter was that I wanted to tell her. She was always going on about Scott doing that and now I was the one that had a cheating, piece of crap boyfriend. How the tables had turned rather quickly.
“What?”
“I found Justin up in our bedroom, on our bed, with her.”
“No?!”
I agreed that it was exactly what had happened, and I could tell that she was shocked. I’d been shocked as well, but it was the way it was. There was nothing that I could do about it.
“So, what happened?”
That was the tricky part and I was going to have to come clean to someone.
“I left with Frank.”
That had her jaw dropping and I knew that I was going to get that response. I was not that way at all. I was the type of person that didn’t want to admit that I had done that. It was out of my nature.
“So how was it?”
“How was what?”
“Frank, ten years later. Was it as good as you remembered?”
I didn’t know what to say. My head nodded and answered the question for me. If I was truthful, it was actually better than I remembered, and I didn’t know if he’d learned new ways to please, or if he just knew all the ways to drive me crazy. I liked to think it was the latter. That we were meant to be together, so it just made it all the better, but I wasn’t really sure if that was the truth or not. Whatever it was, me and Frank were stronger than ever, and the pleasure had been out of this world. He was making me fall in love with him all over again.
“So, then what happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, so you and Frank. So, what about you and Justin? Is that over now?”
“I haven’t talked to him about it. I don’t think he even knows, that I know. I’ve been staying at a cabin Frank has in the woods. I almost got caught there this morning. Justin just popped up.”
“Wow, well you are going to have that opportunity to tell him now. He’s walking in with Frank.”
I wanted to believe that she was messing with me, but I really wasn’t all that sure of that. By the way she was looking, it was clear that she wasn’t joking at all and I wanted to melt into the carpet. The last thing I wanted to do was see Justin and him being with Frank made me uneasy. What had they talked about? I was worried that the men were going to be as chatty as me and Geni were. I had to think that maybe Frank knew about it beforehand or had Justin came clean? Something was different between the two of them and I walked into the back, letting Geni take care of them. The last thing that I wanted to do was have it out with Justin here at work. He should have known better, Frank should have anyways.
Frank’s head popped into the back and asked me if I was coming out.
“Soon. Why did you bring him here?” I really couldn’t believe that he would do such a thing, especially considering that he knew what was going on with us. I wanted to slap him, but he had this big smile on his face.
“You look good.”
“And you’ve lost your mind. You’re with my boyfriend.”
“Is he still your boyfriend?”
It was Frank’s turn to get serious and I told him that I hadn’t broken up with him yet.
“You need to do it soon. He thinks that the two of you are still together. You shouldn’t lead him on like that.”
“I just found out a couple of days ago he was cheating on me. I need time, or you know how I get.”
“That I do. Today is the time.”
I didn’t like him telling me when or even if I was going to say anything. I was staying in his cabin, but that was still my choice. I wasn’t ready to do this, and Frank was pushing it for his own agenda. I certainly didn’t care for that part of it.
“I’m not saying nothing. You need to get him out of here. I don’t care what you have to say to him Frank, but I don’t want him here. This is my job and I’m not doing this here.”
Frank looked at me strange and I’m sure it was the change in tone. Why did I feel so panicky over something that I knew I had to do? It was no shock that it had to be done, so why was it going to be so hard?
“Seriously?”
“Yes, please. Get him out of here. I really don’t want to do this now.”
“You’re going to have to do it eventually.”
“I know, but I’m not ready for it yet and I’m not doing it here. This is my job.”
I could tell that Frank wanted to get it done, but it wasn’t his choice. I don’t know why he cared. We were just having some fun, right?
“Okay, but I can’t say that he’s not going to come back here.”
I just shook my head and told him that he better not. The last thing that I wanted to do was have it out with Justin right here. I still hadn’t gotten my things and that was when I planned to have the discussion that I was avoiding. When it was just me and him and no one else was around to see it. I didn’t want that to happen with a whole bunch of witnesses. I knew that he was going to make it harder on me at my job.
“Well can you just tell him that I will meet with him after work at his house to pick up my things?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
Frank moved to kiss me, and I stopped him. “Not here Frank.”
The expression on his face was not one that was so happy about my decision, but he had to understand that it wasn’t his choice. Just because me and Justin were going to break up, didn’t mean that I was going to be with Frank. He made me feel all sorts of ways, but it was hard to forget that he’d left me. That still hadn’t changed.
“Well I will see you later then.”
I told him I would see him later and asked if it was okay if I went back up to the cabin. I didn’t want to stay with my parents because I would have to answer a bunch of questions and I wasn’t ready for that.
I waited in the back until Geni told me that they had left. It was undignified, me hiding from him, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do here with all of my customers around. The town was small, and I didn’t want to be the main gossip. I was before when Frank left me all of a sudden and I didn’t want that again. It was embarrassing at the very least and I wasn’t ready for it.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I thought you were going to go off on him. It’s not like you to hold it all in.”
“I know, but this time around, I don’t want to make a scene. You know how people are around here. My ears will burn for weeks because they will be talking about me so much.”
Geni agreed. “I didn’t know this was going on Gemma. I feel bad, running my mouth about Scott all the time. But that’s how men are.”
I stopped her. “Scott is not Justin. Scott is a good man and you need to hold onto him.”
“Do you really think so?”
I agreed. “Yeah, I do. He is a keeper.”
“I thought that about Justin.”
I sighed because she was right. “Yeah, I did too.”
I looked at the clock the whole rest of the night. Usually I would look at it because I was ready to get out of there and go home, but things had changed. I didn’t have a home at the moment and the clock was moving far faster than I would have hoped it would. I wasn’t ready to go back to Justin’s place and get my things. It was going to be messy and for some reason, I just wanted to pretend like none of it was happening. I knew that it wouldn’t end well. How could it? Breaking up was always messy business.
Leaving work, I tried to play out the scenario in my head. Especially
the fact that I’d slept with Frank, several times now since I’d found out about his infidelity. I didn’t even want to mention it, just that it was over, and it was time for both of us to move on. I knew that to be true. I knew that I was going to have to give a reason, but I didn’t want to bring up Sandra. It was just going to make me upset, more so than I already was. It was extra painful that it was Frank’s sister. I’d known her a long time and though we hadn’t gotten along, I knew that she’d done it with a little malice in her heart and that made it worse somehow.
When I got to Justin’s house, I just shook my head and parked. “Of course, Frank is going to be here. He wants front row seats I suppose.”
No one was there to hear me, but I was now talking to myself. What the hell was I going to do? I didn’t want to do this with Frank. He was part of the reason that I wasn’t comfortable really going into it. As soon as I saw Justin with Sandra, I was angry, hurt, but also, somewhere in the back of my mind and heart, I was relieved. I’d known that it was going to happen eventually, just not like it had.
I got out of my car and tried to compose myself as best as I could. How did a person get ready for a confrontation like this? Frank’s bike was not the only one there and I knew that there were far more people there when I got out of my car and made the bend to the house. Why would he have invited people over, knowing that this was going to go down? Justin knew when I got off of work.
There was music playing inside as I got a little closer. The people were spilling out of the house and I saw several people dancing close together. One man in particular caught my eye. It was Frank, and some girl was all over him. Another moment of anger and hurt flowed through me.
Thankful for the sea of people, I was able to go upstairs and grab some more things of mine for the rest of the week. It wasn’t the time for this to go down and I left back out the front door without seeing Justin. It was just as well. I was just thankful that he wasn’t in there with Sandra again. I really needed a change of clothes.
Leaving, I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t even look towards the people outside when I came back out. I didn’t want to see how the dance had progressed. Bad boys were not worth it. They always hurt me in the end and I vowed then that I wasn’t going to bother with them again. The pain that I felt at the last party, didn’t compare to this time around. I really was never going to mess with a biker again. I loved the bikes, but the men were just pricks. Good in the sack, but bad at everything else.