Michelle looked into the strong, indomitable lines of Thad’s face. “What makes you think Judge Barnes would go for two unmarried people adopting a baby together?”
“He might not. Then again,” Thad said, “if the judge’s only arguments are that William should grow up with a mother—which is something I happen to agree on, having lost my own mother as a kid—and that I’m having sex outside marriage, then maybe I should just get married and knock off two objections with a single ‘I do.’”
Michelle thought it had been wrenching to learn that Jared had confused gratitude with love and asked her to marry him for that reason. But that misstep was nothing compared to knowing that Thad was contemplating marriage for purely practical considerations. Yet she could tell by the expression on Thad’s face that his heart was in the right place.
As was hers. There were bigger, more important things at stake here than their own egos. In particular, a child’s wellbeing. “You’d really do that for William?”
“And more. I love him, Michelle. Like my own child. And I know what I said, about him being of my blood, but to be honest, it’s not so much that or even the connection I feel with him—the same connection I feel with you—it’s the fact that he needs me. He needs you. Look into his eyes. Feel the way he snuggles against you, like you’re the only mother he’s ever wanted, and tell me you don’t feel the same way.”
“I admit that…” Oh, what the hell, Michelle thought, swiping a tear from her cheek. “I’ve loved this child from the very beginning.” Working to get a handle on her out-of-control emotions, Michelle swallowed around the tightening of her throat. “But you and I are not in love with each other, Thad.”
Thad regarded her steadily. “We could be,” he said softly, “given a little more time.”
The deeply romantic part of Michelle felt that way, too. Especially given how she’d felt when they’d made love, how happy she was to see him whenever their paths crossed, and most important of all, how often he was in her thoughts these days. And yet…the lawyer in her who’d had years dealing with family-law catastrophes had a much more pragmatic view.
She looked at Thad, as William curled his fist around her little finger and held on tight. “What if what we feel now is as good as it gets? What if we never do fall head over heels for each other?”
Thad shrugged. “What if we don’t?” His voice dropped to a soft murmur. “We’re sexually compatible. We live in the same town. We both have jobs we enjoy. We both want to be married and have kids and it hasn’t happened. Maybe we’ve been waiting for perfection, and perfection is never going to come along. I, for one, am not getting any younger.”
Neither was she.
“William needs us now,” he said fervently.
Thad was beginning to make far too much sense. “How do you know another family wouldn’t be better?” she asked.
He grimaced. “William’s already been rejected and passed off twice. He’s settled in with me and he’s started to settle in with you, too. Do you really want to see him taken away from us and carted off to a fourth home, in less than—” Thad did the calculation quickly “—two weeks?”
Did she?
MICHELLE THOUGHT about what Thad had said the rest of the evening and all through the night.
By dawn Tuesday morning, she knew what she had to do. Seeing the lights on over at his house, she showered, dressed and walked across the street. Thad answered the door as if he’d been expecting her. “I take it you have an answer,” he said.
Michelle nodded. “And the answer is yes.” She held up a palm before Thad could interrupt. “But there are some stipulations.”
He ushered her inside. “Okay.”
Michelle paced his foyer restlessly. “We have to do a trial run.”
His eyes narrowed. “In what sense?”
“I want to try out being a mom, the same way you’ve been trying out being a dad. I want to spend as much time as possible with you and William.”
“Judge Barnes is not likely to go for that if we’re not married,” Thad said.
“And maybe he will,” Michelle replied quietly. She was as determined to protect this baby from future heartache and disappointment as she was resolved to shield herself. “If we can demonstrate that together you and I can provide a mother and father’s love, a sense of family and all the love William will ever need or want—without getting married first.”
Chapter Nine
“Michelle’s right,” Glenn told Thad as the three of them met in Glenn’s office a few hours later. William was snuggled in Michelle’s arms. “What the two of you are proposing is not without precedent. In fact, it happens all the time. A biological parent abandons the child and/or signs away all rights to avoid being stuck paying child support. And someone else—usually a new girlfriend or boyfriend to the remaining parent—will step in to adopt the child, even if the two of them aren’t living together and have no desire to do so.”
“And the state allows it?” Thad asked.
“Most judges rule it’s in the best interests of the child to have two people legally responsible for the welfare of the child, as long as custody issues are agreed upon and worked out in advance.”
Thad’s brows lifted. “Custody,” he repeated in concern.
Glenn nodded. “You and Michelle are going to have to decide if you want to split the care of William fifty-fifty, with each of you having equal say and equal time with him. Or if you want Thad to have sole custody, and Michelle visitation rights. Then there are monetary issues, as well. To what degree will each of you be fiscally responsible for William’s needs? And most important of all, Michelle is going to have adequate home studies done, so that social services can determine her fitness as a parent.”
Which meant, Michelle thought, she would need to have a nursery set up, too.
“What about the relationship part of the arrangement?” Thad asked.
“Don’t try to hide anything from the court—or social services,” Glenn warned. “Be clear about whatever it is. And be prepared to talk to Judge Barnes about it again during your next court date—a week from Monday.”
What if, Michelle thought, we don’t know what our relationship is?
“Meantime, I’ll notify Tamara Kelly that you are petitioning to adopt William, as well, and get her started on your home study,” Glenn promised Michelle.
“Thanks, Glenn.”
“No problem.” Her partner smiled. A devoted family man himself, he clearly wanted this to work out for them the way they wanted.
Yet he was skeptical, too, probably because she and Thad hadn’t said they were in love or planned to get married. Michelle had seen it in the brief hesitation in Glenn’s actions when they’d first told him why they had asked to meet him at his office.
Michelle, William and Thad left and headed back to Thad’s SUV. “I was going to drive to Fort Stockton today to purchase a crib and a changing table. Interested?”
Michelle had already rescheduled her appointments for the next few days. “I’m going to need some baby gear, too.” And after that, they could start working out some of the details of their baby-sharing arrangement.
“WOW,” MICHELLE SAID as they wandered through the furniture store geared exclusively for kids. Thad was carrying William now. “I had no idea they had so many different kinds of cribs and kids’ beds.”
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Thad stopped in front of a wooden crib painted fire-engine red.
Michelle looked at a similar one in white. Then one in mahogany.
She looked back at Thad. “Do you think we should both get the same kind of crib and bedding? Or mix it up a little?”
“Good question.” Thad smiled at a red-white-and-blue chenille rug shaped like a dump truck. “The same bedding would make him feel at home wherever he was.”
“But it could get a little boring, too.”
“I guess different, then,” Thad said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go with the mahogany, and ge
t this car-and-truck sheet set.”
“I’ll get the white crib, changing table and glider rocker with the animal-safari sheets.”
As they went off to find a salesperson, Thad stopped in front of a bed shaped like a boat. He grinned. “Things have sure changed since I was a kid.”
Michelle nodded as they passed a very pregnant woman and her husband, along with two toddlers, debating over a train table and easel.
The woman looked up and smiled at Thad and Michelle and the baby in Thad’s arms, obviously thinking they were just another family.
The surprising thing was, the three of them felt like a family.
“How was your bedroom decorated when you were little?” Michelle studied a vivid display of wall art.
Thad moved in close to make way for a woman with a double stroller trying to get through the aisle. “It changed. I remember something about a train when I was in kindergarten, and then when I entered elementary school, everyone was really into spaceships. When I outgrew that, my room was more of a mess than anything else. What about you?” He shifted William as they waited their turn at the sales desk.
“I never had a kids’ room. My parents believed that traditional little-girl themes—like princesses and kittens—lowered the intellect of the child. So my bedroom was decorated with Renoir and Monet prints, the bed linens were Egyptian cotton. The study desk was really nice, though.”
“I bet.” His gaze roamed over her silk sweater and slacks. “Were you ever allowed to get dirty and messy? You know, climb trees and ride bikes and all that stuff.”
“I was taught how to ride a bike and swim. My mother and father thought those were necessary skills. Beyond that, the only time I was allowed to run free on a playground was at school recess.”
“What kind of childhood would you like to see William have?” he asked.
“If I could wish one thing for him, I’d want him to be free,” Michelle said. “Free to explore and just be whatever he wants to be.” She studied Thad’s generous smile. “What about you? What kind of childhood would you like to see William have?”
“I want him to feel loved and wanted, secure in his place in our family and in the world.”
They were in the BMW and almost back in Summit when Thad’s cell phone rang. The road was treacherous, twisting, with no place to pull over. He inclined his head toward the holder clipped to his belt. “Would you mind grabbing that and just hitting the speaker button? I’ll take it from there.”
Flushing a little, Michelle did as directed.
“Thad Garner,” he said.
“Hey, Thad. It’s Violet Hunter. I just saw your message. And I think I might be able to help you out.”
Thad kept his eyes on the road. “Actually, Violet, it’s not a good time to talk. I’m driving back from Fort Stockton. I’ll get back to you later,” he said.
“I’ll wait for you to call,” Violet said cheerfully.
Thad hit the off button. As the road straightened out, he shifted and slid the phone back in his belt clip.
Michelle knew that whatever Thad wanted to talk to Violet about was none of her business. It shouldn’t even matter that Violet still had a crush on Thad. Still, it bothered her. By the time they reached Summit, Michelle knew what she had to do. She turned to Thad as they got out of the car.
“If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have William by myself for a while this afternoon. See what it’s like to be a mom, instead of just a family friend.”
Thad thought for a moment, then said, “Good idea. I’ve got some work to do on the nursery at my house. It’ll go a lot faster if William is with you.”
HOLDING WILLIAM in her arms, Michelle walked through the house and tried to see the place as a social worker would.
Her home was definitely the abode of a single woman. The downstairs living room had cream-colored furniture, elegant lamps and beautiful framed prints on the walls. The television was hidden in a stylish armoire. Even the coffee table was an elaborate creation of glass and wood. There wasn’t a toy or piece of baby gear in sight.
The dining room was formal, the kitchen outfitted with every gourmet-cooking appliance imaginable.
The second floor of her cozy Arts and Crafts house was just as elegant—and the reason she’d bought the house. The previous owner had raised the ceiling to the attic rafters, ripped out the second bedroom and turned it into a sumptuous master bath with a huge, built-in closet. There was no place for a nursery on either floor.
But there was plenty of room in her heart, Michelle thought as she carried William back downstairs and settled with him on the sofa. If only she hadn’t fallen in love with a child before, to disastrous result, she thought, resting her cheek against the downy softness of William’s head. Maybe then she would feel a little more confident that it was all going to work out. That Judge Barnes would see she was the mother this little boy wanted and needed.
As an attorney, she knew it was up to her to make sure he did. Feeling empowered, now that she knew what she had to do, Michelle headed back across the street.
Thad answered the door. He was dressed to work—in an old T-shirt, jeans and sneakers. He had a smudge of navy paint across his jaw, another across his cheek. Perspiration clung to his forehead and the back of his neck. He looked at the baby dozing in her arms. “Everything okay?”
“We need to talk,” Michelle said.
HE NOTICED William was swaddled. “I forgot to give you something for William to sleep in, didn’t I?” he said.
“It’s okay. I forgot, too.” Michelle was already heading for the Moses basket in the corner. She gently lowered William into it. He stirred, as if trying to wake up. Spreading her palm across the width of his chest, she touched him lightly, all the while shushing him softly.
After a moment he seemed to settle. Then he was asleep. Michelle backed away quietly.
Figuring he might as well get her opinion on something while she was here and happy to postpone whatever it was she needed to tell him, Thad motioned her up the stairs. “Where’d you learn to soothe him like that?” he whispered, impressed she’d managed to keep the baby from waking up during the transfer from arms to bed.
Michelle shrugged. “I figured it out on my own. He sleeps best when reassured—by touch—that he’s not alone.”
Or been abandoned again.
“That’s why the canvas baby carriers work so well.”
“Ah.” Thad led Michelle into the room that had once been his office. And was now—thanks to some marathon clearing out and transferring to the garage—soon to be William’s nursery.
“I went to the paint store and got this child-safe, fume-free color, but once I started to put it on…” Thad looked at the wall he’d painted. “What do you think? It’s too dark a blue, isn’t it?”
Hands on her hips, Michelle stepped back and regarded what he had done. “To do the whole room in? Yeah, it is.” She tilted her head to one side. “Unless you want it to always feel like nighttime in here.”
Thad sighed in frustration. The color was good for sleeping, not playing. “Not exactly the look I was going for.”
Michelle tossed him a reassuring smile. “All isn’t lost. You could use it on the lower third of the wall and then paint a lighter blue above that. I’m sure William would like that.”
Thad exhaled in relief. He was trying to be superdad here, but decorating really was not his thing. “I want to get this done today, so I can at least get his crib up before the next unannounced visit from Tamara.”
“Just make sure you get the same undertone in each shade,” Michelle cautioned.
Thad blinked. “Say that again?”
Michelle checked her watch. “Tell you what,” she said, making note of the color shade written on the can. “I’ll run to the paint store now. Anything else you need?”
Thad shrugged. He hadn’t a clue. “You tell me.”
Michelle looked around again, seeming to miss nothing, regarding his amateurish attempt. “I�
��ll be right back. And, Thad, I know the manufacturer said no fumes…”
Thad knew where she was going with this. Before, it had been just him. Now, William was in the house, too. “I’ll open all the windows on this floor,” he promised.
Thad kept an ear out for William as he measured the wall into thirds and penciled in a line. He even went down and checked on William once he’d taped off the areas to be painted. To his amazement, the little guy kept right on sleeping.
There was a click behind Thad as Michelle let herself in the front door.
She had changed into an old T-shirt, sneakers and a pair of worn, paint-splattered jeans. She set down the paint can she’d bought and tiptoed over to where he stood. “Guess we wore him out with our shopping trip,” Thad whispered.
Michelle nodded and leaned in for a closer look. “There was a lot to look at,” she whispered.
He followed her back to the foyer, picked up the fivegallon can and sack of supplies she’d purchased. They headed up the stairs.
She knelt to pry open the can. Thad took a look at the coordinating pale blue shade. “That’s nice.”
She’d also bought an extra pan and roller.
“How about you take the top and I’ll take the bottom? Since you’re tall and I’m not.”
“No problem.” Their fingers touched as he handed over the roller, already saturated with the dark blue paint. Relishing how good it felt to be working side by side with her on this, Thad asked, “So what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
Without warning, she seemed to be holding him at arm’s length once again. “I was thinking we should sit down as soon as possible and work out our custody arrangement.” She sounded practical, matter-of-fact. “You know—what nights I’ll have William, when you’ll have him…and then we’ll draw up a plan.”
“Alternate holidays,” Thad joked, thinking how much this sounded like they were splitting up, instead of coming together.
Michelle tensed. “Yes,” she said slowly, concentrating on her painting now, “I suppose that, too.”
Found: One Baby Page 12