IT WAS ONLY LATER, after they’d diapered, dressed and fed William half a bottle of formula once again, that Michelle realized the front of her satin nightshirt was all wet. For modesty’s sake, she’d left her bra on. It wasn’t doing much to hide the shape of her breasts.
Blushing, she turned away as Thad settled William in his crib once again.
William’s eyes blinked sleepily, then finally closed.
Thad stayed there, hand spread lightly across William’s chest, waiting until their baby’s breath was deep and even.
Slowly he straightened.
He and Michelle looked at each other, as wide-awake and filled with adrenaline as if they’d just started a 10K race.
When she went into the bathroom to clean up, she shivered. By the time she’d dumped the contents of the baby bathtub and set it in the shower to drain, Thad was behind her.
“Sorry if I kind of ordered you around,” he said after a moment.
That wasn’t why she was upset. “Are you kidding?” Aware she was trembling all over, she released a nervous breath. “I would have been beside myself had you not been here.” She paused, dropped her gaze, nibbling anxiously on her lower lip.
Then, on impulse, she looked up into his eyes and confessed. “Oh, who am I kidding? I panicked, Thad. I saw William like that and I knew he was sick and…all I could think was I had to get you as soon as possible.”
Thad leaned on the edge of her bathroom sink. “That makes sense. I’m a doctor.”
She threw up her hands in frustration. Helpless tears stung her eyes. “But if I’m going to be his mother, I should know what to do!”
“And next time,” Thad countered implacably, “you will.”
Michelle was not so certain. She shut her eyes. Another shiver went through her. The next thing she knew Thad’s arms were around her waist. He stood and pulled her into the strong, reassuring cradle of his arms. “It’s okay,” he whispered, his breath warm and tender against her ear. “I was scared, too.”
Michelle sniffed. “You couldn’t have been.”
“Oh, yes, I could’ve.” He tucked a hand beneath her chin, lifted her face to his. “I see much worse in the E.R.—but none of those patients are my own kid. I have to tell you, what happened just now, the way I felt…the way we both reacted, gives me new insight into the way parents of patients behave. It is scary when your kid is sick. I don’t care what kind of medical expertise you have. The feeling of helplessness—our inability to keep this from happening—is overwhelming.”
Thad’s confession prompted an admission from her. “I love him, Thad,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears. “I know we haven’t had him all that long, but I love him so much.”
“I love him, too,” Thad said.
“If anything were to happen to him…” Her voice broke. She began to cry in earnest.
“I know,” Thad said in a low, choked voice. He stroked her hair. “I know.”
Michelle tilted her face up to his, needing the reassurance of his gaze as much as she needed his warm, strong arms around her. Thad stared into her eyes and tilted his head. The next thing she knew his lips were connecting with hers, his kiss brimming with all the compassion, comfort and security she needed.
Michelle hadn’t expected to make love with Thad again. She’d told herself she wouldn’t fall victim to such impossible yearning again. But suddenly she needed to draw on his strength. She knew they weren’t in love, but when she was with him like this, she felt loved. She felt secure in this moment, in her life, in a way she never had before.
Thad let her be who she was, gave her the space she needed, and his acceptance made the years of crushing expectations and narrow parameters of behavior fall away. When she was with him, she was free to go after what she wanted, free to express herself in any way she pleased. And what she wanted tonight, she thought, as his hands found her breasts and their kiss deepened, was Thad.
Thad knew Michelle was overwrought. He was, too. It was hard as hell seeing their son sick. The doctor in him knew William was going to be okay in another day. That didn’t make it any easier to see their baby boy run a fever so high he trembled, was robbed of his appetite. It broke Thad’s heart seeing William so miserable. And it was just as hard seeing Michelle upset, knowing that despite the temporary reprieve that had William fever-free and blissfully asleep, they had another twenty-four hours to go.
Instinct had him seeking comfort in her arms, the same way she was seeking comfort in his. The need to make her his had him unbuttoning her nightshirt, slipping his palms inside.
And once he felt her surrender, felt her body molding to his, there was no stopping with just one kiss. Her nipples budded against his palms. Her silky flesh warmed. He stroked, he kneaded, he caressed, until she surged against him, threading her hands through his hair, kissing him back eagerly, tongues melding in pleasure. Needing more of her, he slipped his hand beneath the hem of her nightshirt, smoothing his palm across her thighs.
She moaned at the new, deeper intimacy and shifted her hips, moving back slightly, giving him access. Throbbing with the need to possess her, he eased a hand beneath the elastic of her panties and found her to be just as soft and womanly as he recalled.
“Don’t stop,” she murmured, arching against his touch.
Thad groaned as she found him with her hands, too. “I don’t intend to.” He stepped free of his sleep pants at the same time she kicked off her panties. Moments later, he lifted her up onto the bathroom counter. Need pouring through him, he stepped between her spread thighs. Still kissing him ardently, she hooked her legs around his waist. The intoxication accelerated. And then there was only the touch and taste and smell of each other, the feel of their hands stroking as they gave and received, over and over. She was coming apart in his hands. With a soft moan of wonder, she whispered his name, then, “Now.”
“Now,” Thad agreed.
Hands beneath her buttocks, he pulled her to the edge of the marble counter, lifted her slightly and ever so slowly entered her, became a part of her. She shuddered and wrapped herself tightly around him. “Thad,” she whispered again, still kissing him ardently, making him feel, want and need in a way he never had before.
Their mouths and tongues began to play the same ageold rhythm as their bodies. She gave him everything, demanding more. Sensation built on sensation, pleasure on pleasure, conjuring up passion and surrender, until all control ended, and together, they soared into white-hot oblivion. Stayed, suspended there…and then floated slowly back to reality.
MICHELLE HAD NEVER felt anything like this before. Never wanted anyone as intensely as she wanted Thad. And suddenly she knew it didn’t matter how many times they made love, she was always going to want him in her life in exactly this way. And that scared her more than she was willing to admit.
She had given her heart away before, to disastrous result. She did not want to make the same mistake twice. Nor did she want to walk away. The thought of never making love with Thad again was impossible to bear. Which left her, she admitted ruefully, in a quandary.
How could she continue to make love with Thad, spend time with him and not fall head over heels in love with him?
His body still a part of hers, Thad cupped her cheek in his hand. “We don’t have to figure it all out tonight,” he said quietly.
A small gasp escaped her lips.
Leave it to Thad not only to see the private worry she would rather have kept hidden, but address it. “You’re right.” She forced herself to be practical, too. “Our primary objective tonight is taking care of William.”
His eyes darkened at the off-putting sound of her low tone. Something in his gaze shifted, grew less intimate, too, even as he made no move to disengage their bodies.
“And to that end…” Michelle continued, but now there was a telltale rasp in her throat. She trembled at the realization of the resurgence—not dwindling—of Thad’s desire, the rekindling of her own. “We, uh, should figure out how w
e’re going to do this.”
Thad flashed the grin of an unrepentant sinner. “I’ll tell you how we’re going to do this.” He lifted her against him—her legs were still wrapped around his waist—and he leaned down to whisper in her ear. “We’re both going to sleep upstairs in your bed tonight.”
Her breath caught halfway up her windpipe. She hadn’t known it was possible to be so thrilled and reassured both at once.
“We’re going to check on William, and make sure he’s still all right, and make love again. And then,” Thad whispered, “we’re going to go to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms until he wakes up again.”
Chapter Eleven
William awoke three more times during the night. Once immediately after she and Thad had made love again, and then at four, and again at six. They continued to give him formula each time he woke up, though he wouldn’t take much. And acetaminophen every four hours. He was still running warm to the touch at eight-thirty in the morning, when the three of them got up again, so Michelle held him across her lap, soothing him with gentle strokes, while Thad readied the thermometer.
“What is it?” she asked when he’d finished.
“A hundred and one point five, which is just above normal.”
Michelle finished diapering William, then went to dispose of the diaper and wash her hands.
Because the tiny boy seemed content for the moment lying there on his back, she stretched out next to him on the bed. She took his little fist, kissed it gently. “I think his cheeks are less flushed, too.”
William looked up at her with big eyes.
Thad joined them, stretching out on the other side of William. “He does look better,” Thad decreed. “More interested in what’s going on around him.”
Thad reached over and got a rattle. He put it in front of William.
William’s cherubic mouth dropped open in a soundless O of wonder. Reveling in the intimacy of the moment, Michelle smiled, too. “You think he’ll run as much fever today as he did yesterday?”
“Typically, temperatures spike in late afternoon and into the evening, possibly through the night. He should be okay for a while this morning.” Thad looked over at her, as relaxed as she had ever seen him. “Why don’t you go for a run?”
It was Michelle’s turn to mouth an O of surprise. He wanted her to leave? “Now? Are you serious?”
Thad shrugged. “You usually run every morning, and you didn’t get to go yesterday. You’ve already told your office you won’t be in for the next two days. It’s a beautiful morning.” He reached across William and covered her hand with his own. “Why not take a much-deserved break?” He smiled gently. “I’ll stay here with William.”
Michelle had to admit she was yearning to stretch her limbs. Running relaxed her the way nothing else could.
Still, she hesitated. “You really wouldn’t mind?”
Thad brought her hand to his lips. “Parenting solo would be my pleasure.”
The brisk breeze of the late-April morning caressed Michelle as she sprinted up and down the hilly streets of Summit. Flower blossoms were interspersed with the vibrant green of the grass and trees. The granite mountains rose majestically in the distance as the climbing sun lit up the cloudless, Texas-blue skies.
Spring was here, all right, Michelle thought dreamily. When she’d been younger, spring fever had hit her with tsunami force. Somewhere along the way, that force had dwindled, and the past couple of years, had finally gone altogether.
Now it was back again, fiercer than ever. And Michelle knew why.
It was because she’d found a town that felt like home. A child who made her realize just how much she wanted and needed to be a mother. And—most important of all—a man who respected her independence and treated her like an equal.
Life was good.
So good it scared her.
But, like Thad had said last night, they did not have to figure everything out at once.
They would put the adoption first and let everything after that slowly fall into place.
What counted right now was the joy she felt in her heart as she jogged up the street toward home, and the feeling of family waiting for her in her house.
Michelle slowed her pace as she hit the drive, walking the last thirty feet. She paused beneath the kitchen window to stretch her muscles. Hands splayed against the cement-board siding, she leaned in to stretch her Achilles tendon, and that was when she heard Thad’s voice, coming through the partially open window.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’d rather not. Michelle?” Thad paused, sounding surprised. “Actually she’s been of enormous help… Yeah, she’s still running as much as ever. She’s out right now, as a matter of fact.” Another pause. “You’re right—that is one way to burn off excess energy…” Thad chuckled politely, as if hearing a quip he didn’t particularly like. “Thanks, Violet. Like I said, I appreciate you going out of your way for me like this. Okay, catch you later.”
Violet?
Michelle leaned against the side of the house, her heart pounding. More from what she’d overheard than from the exercise.
Why was Thad talking to Violet Hunter again?
Was that why he’d been so intent on sending her on a run this morning? Because he wanted to make a call he hadn’t wanted her to know about while she wasn’t around?
Fighting feelings of jealousy, Michelle strode in the back door. What she saw stunned her. Thad was standing at the stove, William strapped via canvas baby carrier to his chest. The little guy had fallen asleep again, silky lashes resting against his soft cheeks.
The junior cookbook she had loaned Thad was in the cookbook stand on the counter. The kitchen table was set for two. Thad looked so at home, so right.
This could be her life. And suddenly Michelle knew what she had to do. And the first order of business was not asking what Thad had going on with Violet. She spied the golden slices of bread sizzling on the griddle. “French toast?”
“It’s actually not that hard to make,” Thad said. Using the shaker she kept in the cupboard, he sprinkled some confectioner’s sugar atop a stack of French toast that was ready to eat, added a pat of butter and a drizzle of maple syrup.
He winked. “I should’ve gotten one of these cookbooks a lot sooner. It’s right at my level—beginner. Explains everything, including what a mixing bowl and measuring spoon is.”
He sure wasn’t a beginner in everything, Michelle thought, recalling the expert way he’d made love to her. Sensation sizzled through her, and with it, the desire not to screw things up unnecessarily.
Everything she knew about Thad thus far said he was an honorable man. She needed to trust that he was. Michelle smiled. “It looks wonderful.” She appreciated the trouble he’d gone to. Glasses of milk sat on the table, along with a big bowl of strawberries. The aroma of fresh-brewed coffee filled the room. Surely he couldn’t be up to anything significant with Violet. Then again, she’d never had a guy cheat on her. What would she know about infidelity?
And was it even that? Given the fact they’d never said they wouldn’t see other people, not even when they’d been making love…
Oblivious to her tumultuous thoughts, Thad said, “Have a seat.” He brought another plate over and sat down opposite her. “So how was the run?”
Michelle spread her napkin across her lap. “Nice.” Until I came home and heard you talking on the phone. “Invigorating.” To the point her heart was racing. And not from the exercise.
“Good.”
She cut into her breakfast and found the toast tasted every bit as delicious as it looked.
“I need to talk to you about something,” Thad said.
Michelle’s mouth went dry. Pretending an ease she couldn’t begin to feel, she looked at him and waited.
“As long as we’re both petitioning to adopt William,” he said, then paused to wrap a protective hand over the baby strapped to his chest, “do you think he should carry both of our last names?”
“I’M TRYING to be fair,” Thad continued. He watched Michelle’s cheeks go from pale to pink. Taking in her distracted expression, he said, “I like William as his first name. It suits him, don’t you think?”
Michelle let out a breath. Whatever she’d been expecting him to say, Thad noted, that wasn’t it. “Absolutely,” she said.
“And Garner his last name.” Thad hoped she agreed, because he felt strongly about that.
Looking even more relaxed, she took a long, ladylike sip of juice. “Right.”
“But—” this was the tricky part “—we could make Anderson his middle name. That way, we’d be carrying on your family name, too.”
Michelle swallowed the bite of food she was chewing. “I think it would be great to have him both an Anderson and a Garner.”
“Then it’s settled. We’ll talk to Glenn tomorrow, ask him to amend the petition, or do whatever it is he needs to do.”
Michelle nodded, obviously concurring.
“And there’s something else,” Thad said hesitantly. He hated to do this. But he had responsibilities he couldn’t ignore, much as he wanted to today. “I was supposed to work eight to eight today. I got someone to take my shift this morning, but his daughter is in a performance at school this afternoon…”
Michelle didn’t hesitate. “Of course you should go in to the hospital.”
Still, Thad did not want her to feel abandoned. “I wouldn’t go if I didn’t think William would be fine.”
“I know what to do for fever now,” she reassured him.
Thad knew that was true. Still, he felt this odd, powerful reluctance to be away from them. Intellectually it didn’t make sense. He knew William would get well without him. Emotionally, though…He knew what it was. That parental urge to hover. He’d witnessed other parents of sick kids doing just that when their offspring were admitted to the E.R.
Found: One Baby Page 14