Maybe you don't have to.
What do you mean? I asked impatiently. I didn't really want to do this. I wanted to be left alone to mope about abandoning my project, and potentially tinker with something else. There had to be something else useful I could make. Maybe I should just build myself a robot to be my companion for the rest of my life. I'd have someone to talk to then.
Go check outside your front door. He sounded smug. That was never a good sign.
You know I can't go out there, I pointed out. The door was where my domain started and ended after all.
I've overridden the codes, Zel. You'll be able to open it for about three minutes, but after that you'll be stuck. His voice had a far more serious tone to it now, like he knew that I was thinking about walking out the front door and not actually stopping. Carrying on for the rest of the day sounded great. Maybe I'd even be able to get to the town centre before dropping down dead from the air. It was supposed to be beautiful, so maybe it was worth it. Please don't risk the air, he said softly, proving he did know exactly where my mind was.
Fine, I promise not to risk the outside, I said, finally throwing the towel down. He could probably feel my grumpiness, just like I could feel the emotions of his tone as he spoke. It was kind of amazing really, especially given that our entire conversation was based on flashing green letters that appeared across our irises. Okay, when it was put like that, it sounded as weird as hell.
I left the room, making my way to the front door and trying to ignore the apprehension gnawing away at my insides. I didn't quite know what to expect. Maybe my Mother was stood on the other side and this was some kind of trap. Or maybe he was wrong and the door wouldn't close after three minutes, and I'd be able to make a break for my freedom. Or maybe this was all some cruel joke and I wouldn't be able to open the door at all, never mind face the prospect of the outside, even if the outside wasn't something I truly had any concept of.
Taking a deep breath, I lined my eye up with the retinal scanner Mother had long ago installed. She hadn't even programmed my eye in, I'd done that myself around the same time that I'd hacked into the bank account and made sure that some of the funds were funneled into my own secret account, and therefore my own endeavours. I'd been careful to introduce a piece of the programming that wiped all traces of me doing anything too, so this attempt to open the door wouldn't appear to anyone else. Nor would yesterday's attempt, or last week's, last month's. What can I say? There's a recurring pattern there.
"Zel Matthews access granted," the door said. Well, not the door. The computerised voice that was attached to the door as if it was a sentient thing and not just made out of a weird plasterboard material that was supposed to stop radiation or some crap like that.
I could feel Asher waiting for me in the corner of my eye as, much to my surprise, the door slid open to reveal a plain looking corridor. That was disappointing. I'd been expecting something a little more grand. Hell, I'd been expecting something grander from the outside anyway, what wit all the stories I'd heard. And by stories, I meant the propaganda that companies like the BBC broadcast. I'd once read that they were supposed to stay neutral when it came to politics and other controversial topics, but that seemed to go out of the window for them a long time ago.
Look down, Zel. Asher's voice made me jump, and I let out a weird squeaking noise. I followed his instructions, and was surprised to see a box wrapped in brown paper sat in the doorway.
Oh. I sent the word before I could avoid it, slightly taken aback that he seemed to have sent me a present. I was presuming it was from him anyway. It'd be odd of him to send me to a doorway if it wasn't. Or maybe he was just spying on me, and this was really a present for Mother, who'd probably ask me a lot of difficult questions, like how I'd got it into the house in the first place. Hmm. Probably best to avoid those.
You need to bring it inside, Zel. The doors are about to close. He sounded slightly panicked, which was confusing. It hadn't really been three minutes had it? All I'd really done was stand and stare at a box and muse over a few things. Even so, better safe than sorry. I grabbed the box in both hands and yanked it into the room with me just as the door slammed closed. Okay, so he definitely hadn't been lying about that.
What is it? I asked, trying to guess. I dared not rattle it in case it was breakable. But the box was kind of heavy, and I was definitely intrigued. Beyond intrigued really. This had to be something special or he wouldn't have made such a big deal about it. His good natured chuckle travelled down the connection between us.
Just open it and you'll see.
He didn't have to ask me twice. Without hesitating any longer, I ripped the paper from the box, making a complete and utter mess in my haste to discover whatever was in it. It wasn't like it mattered. It was still early, and Mother wouldn't be home for hours, so I had plenty of time to clean up and make it look like I hadn't killed something.
Inside the wrappings was a black box, with a plain clasp at the front of it. Carefully, I pressed the button on the catch and watched as the lid moved rose slowly, revealing the contents within.
You didn't. I shook my head, not quite wanting to believe my eyes. No. That was wrong. I did want to believe my eyes, that would mean that I had the parts I needed to finish my breathing apparatus. But I didn't want to believe the neat little note that was perched on top of the metal parts.
Yes.
Thank you, but you shouldn't have. I was telling the truth this time. He really shouldn't have. These parts weren't cheap, I knew it, he knew it, and yet he'd sent me them anyway.
Yes, I should. I had them, you needed them, there's no reason I shouldn't have.
Thank you, Asher. I lifted one of the pieces out and weighed it up in my hand. It was lighter than I expected, which meant that one of the others was the heavier piece. Much heavier than would be suitable for apparatus that should be kept in the nose, but I'd work that one out later. Maybe all I'd need to do was create a smaller copy of it. I could hope anyway.
.I'm...
You're? I prompted after he didn't add anymore. That was odd. He was normally far chattier than this, particularly when there was mechanics involved like this. Well, sometimes anyway, It was hard to explain Asher's moods sometimes.
Just glad you're happy. Was all he said. I smell bullshit, but I wasn't about to call him out on it, not when he'd got me something as thoughtful as this.
Thank you, I said again. I'd be saying it almost constantly for the next week by my reckoning, so he'd probably better get used to it.
You're welcome, Zel. But I need to go, duty calls.
In the morning? I asked, surprised and forgetting that I tried not to mention his work. He didn't talk about it, I didn't pry, that's just how it worked.
Yes, I'm sorry. I need to go do this thing. But you have tinkering to do anyway, right? I could feel the smile at the end of his question, like the idea of me tinkering with anything made him happy. I suppose he seemed to like me and it made me happy, so that was why? Who knew really.
Oh, okay. I replied, already distracted by the thought of what I'd do with my new toys. Finish the breathing apparatus hopefully, then tonight, I could sneak out onto the roof and try it out. Once Mother was asleep that is. Maybe not my wisest idea given that I could die, but being able to lay back and look up at the stars? That would totally be worth it.
I'll catch you later, Zel. He waved down the connection, and I raised my hand to wave back. Chips weren't something I'd managed to hack into properly, so I had no idea if I actually had to wave for him to feel it, or if just thinking about the motion worked. I suppose it didn't really matter if I was doing both.
Bye Asher, thank you again.
He chuckled. You're welcome, again. Now go tinker. The line cut off, and I wasn't about to be told twice. Grabbing the box, I made my way back to my room, with my new parts in tow, already planning my next move in my head.
Chapter 3
Darkness fell early, thankfully, and Mother took herse
lf off to bed shortly after. I liked it when she did that, it left the apartment completely open to me, including the living room window, which I’d discovered would open when I was seven years old. Purely by accident of course, and I’d slammed it shut pronto, not wanting to risk breathing in the unhealthy air that would without a doubt kill me. Maybe if I’d been older, I’d have been braver. Maybe I’d also be dead, but I guessed that was just the way that it’d turned out.
Slowly, I cracked open the window, touching the mask that I’d fastened on securely. It was ungainly to say the least, covering both my nose and mouth, but it completely sealed the area, I didn’t want to take any risks with this one. I’d have a lot of questions to answer if the mask failed. Then again, I suppose I’d be dead. Easier to answer them that way.
After waiting twenty seconds, then another ten, and another, I decided it was safe, and began to climb out of the window, trying my best not to get my long dark hair tangled in the frame. It shouldn’t do, but that would be my luck. It’d also teach me to keep my hair so long. It reached my ass, in long loose waves, and I’ll admit to loving it. It wasn’t like I left the apartment to actually worry about how it looked.
I clambered up the side of the building, not very elegantly I might add, but then it wasn't like I'd had much practice at scaling walls, it wasn't really a normal thing to do. Pretty fun though, I'd be doing it again.
I reached the roof, and hoisted myself over the edge, finding the flat expanse that I'd expected, luckily. I walked across it on slightly shaky legs. I might not want to admit it, but I was actually more than a little nervous about what I was doing. Oh well, too late for that now.
I stood in the middle of the roof and looked up at the sky, disappointed at the lack of stars. Instead, it was cloudy and overcast. Not raining though, which was also a bit disappointing, it'd have been nice to feel the natural water on my skin for a change. Showers were great and all, but they were so artificial.
"Hello, Zel," a low voice said, and I jumped while giving an odd sounding squeak, made even weirder by the muffling effect of the mask I was wearing. I turned around, and if it hadn't been held closed by my mask, my mouth would have fallen open. Before me was possibly the most handsome man I'd ever imagined. He was tall, with dark skin that almost made him blend into the night, his equally dark clothing not helping with that. And he also seemed oddly familiar. Which was beyond ridiculous, I'd never met another person in my life, not even the guy that smuggled me the junk from downstairs.
Asher? I asked via my chip. There was no way of me actually getting words out while wearing this, clearly that was a design flaw that I needed to work on.
"The one and only," he replied, flashing me a grin that I could swear made my heart flutter. Actually flutter, like I was a teenage girl in a sodding vampire book and not a grown woman in my own right. Then again, could I be counted as a woman in my own right when I was barely really human? At least in the sense that I never really interacted with anyone.
What are you doing here? I asked, looking him up and down as he did and appreciating the view. The screens really hadn't done men justice, unless they just didn't all grow like this. Wait, what was happening to me? I was normally so rational, yet here I was faced with a good-looking man, and my main reaction seemed to be to turn into a blubbering mess.
"Watching you."
Kind of creepy, Asher. Well, very creepy. Instead of answering, Asher chuckled, and began to circle me. He came a stop when we were face to face again, though this time he was much closer. So close, that I could feel the heat coming from him.
"Maybe, but worth it don't you think?" He added a knowing smile, and I gulped, glad there was a mask that would stop me from saying anything too stupid. He raised his hand and touched his fingertips to the mask gently. "Did you make this?" he asked, and nodded, before frowning to myself.
Yes. But then, he should know that right? I mean he sent me the parts I needed just this morning, that wasn't something he was likely to forget...or at least, I hoped it wasn't, it'd been pretty damn special to me. You sent me the parts, I reminded him.
"Oh, this morning, of course." He smiled and nodded as if remembering, but a small part of me had alarm bells ringing. This didn't quite seem right. "I just hadn't realised quite how talented you were," he said softly, pulling his hand away and dragging a finger across my cheek as he did. Each touch of skin to skin left a trail of heat behind it, and I shuddered, feeling things that I never had before. It was kind of odd.
Thanks, I said, but if I'd been speaking aloud it'd have been more of a mutter. Something was off about him. Maybe it was just the in-person vs online persona, but somehow, I didn't think that was it. I mean the slightly predatory, interested edge? He was like that sometimes. Just like he was sweet and thoughtful like earlier. It was enough to make my head spin, but at the same time, we'd bonded. I couldn't imagine a day of not talking to him. If he was late, I panicked, if he had to leave me early, I felt sad. It was probably unhealthy, but there was nothing I wanted to change. He was a part of my life now, and that was that. Just needed to persuade him of the same thing.
"You're welcome, Zel. But you shouldn't be out here." His eyes softened in the dim light, making it all that more special. Deep within me, there was a mounting urge to rip my mask off and press my lips to his, pulling him closer and devouring him in every way I could. Damn, he was affecting me in person ten times more than he'd ever affected me via our online bond. Must be the proximity to him. I would say it was his smell, but really all that was getting through was the tang of the metal my mask was made of. Another thing I needed to refine, but to be honest, having made it work was a massive achievement, and would be enough for tonight.
The two of us stood in silence, and I tried to tell myself that was because he was as nervous as me. He didn't want to ruin what we had either, and that meant being careful with what we were doing and saying. Weird, maybe, but I'd take it.
"I shouldn't be here," he whispered after a while. He was still standing close, meaning I could almost feel the warmth of his breath against my skin. "You shouldn't be here either," he added, his lips curving into a smile.
I don't know what you mean, I'm still at home, I replied and was rewarded with a wide smile across his face.
"I suppose you are. But even so. You need to be careful who knows you're out here. Anyone could be lurking." He looked concerned, and my heart warmed to him even more. Lifting one of his hands, he brushed a lock of my hair out of my face, and trailed a finger down my skin. I shivered, really really wishing that I wasn't wearing a stupid mask and that my stupid biology didn't stop me from breathing.
Like you? I sent my amusement down the line, and he laughed, proving once and for all that he really did receive my emotions like I did his, and that it wasn't just a figment of my imagination. Guess that made me a little less crazy then. That was something at least.
"Yes, like me." He closed the small gap between us and pulled me to him, his arms wrapping around me in an oddly comforting embraced. I'd never really been hugged before, Mother wasn't the type, so it took me a little off guard to find myself pressed against another person. But as soon as I allowed myself to melt into him, I knew that it'd been the right decision to let him so close. Resting my head against his firm chest, for the first time in my life, I felt kind of safe. And that said it all to me. Asher was someone I could trust.
Chapter 4
Waking up the next morning was the most excited I'd felt for days. No weeks. No years. Actually, it was kind of hard to tell. But I had plans. Asher had asked me to return to the roof, and I wanted that more than ever. But I also wanted to be able to use my voice and hold a conversation the normal way, which would only be doable in one of two ways. The first was if I managed to completely stop me breathing through my mouth. The other, was to adapt the breathing equipment I had so that it no longer had to cover my mouth to work. Personally, I thought the second way was far more achievable. I knew what I was doing with mechanics
. Not so much when it came to reconditioning myself on how to do a simple human necessity. More fool me I guess.
I skipped my run. Not something I planned to get in the habit of, but I needed the time more than I needed the exercise. I didn't even feel particularly groggy today, which was unusual, but I didn't want to spare that much thought. Instead, I pushed it completely to the side. I'd figure it out later. Or more likely, I'd promise myself I would, but then get too worked up about the other things I was doing and disregard it completely.
I give you Zel Matthews everyone. Serial procrastinator and avoider extrodanaire. If there was something I needed to deal with, chances were I ignored it. i had plenty of time to figure things out after all, it wasn't like I was going anywhere, so my problems could quite easily stay in one place too. Maybe one day, my method would work and a problem would sort itself out when I just ignored it. I could keep dreaming right?
Morning, Zel, you okay? Asher's message flashed across my eye and my heart felt like it was about to pound out of my chest. Damn. I'd liked him before, but now I'd seen him. Oh it was so much more.
Hey, yes. You? Wow. Eloquent Zel, just the way to prove to the man that you were a level headed and sophisticated woman deserving of his time. then again, he'd known me for months, and was still around, so maybe he knew anyway.
Good thanks. I hear you'll be waiting for me on the roof tonight, he said.
I frowned. Heard?
Shit. The word flashed and disappeared so quickly that it was almost as if I was I wasn't supposed to see it. Which was weird. I didn't realise that you could undo text like that. It was certainly something worth exploring.
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