by L. J. Red
“You can bring whoever you like, bring the whole circus in if you want, but they won’t tell you any different,” I said.
“I believe you, Tiana,” Detective Pierce said, coming up next to me. She looked down at Oliver. “I just wish…” She sighed. “Well, I guess it’s back to old-fashioned police work.” She pushed the drawer closed. “You still need to give me a statement.”
I nodded. “Yeah, okay.” I was exhausted, and another few hours sitting in the police station filling out reports was the last thing I wanted.
Detective Pierce looked at me measuringly. “You can come in tomorrow,” she said.
I had been staring at Oliver’s drawer and I turned to look at her.
“I told you, Tiana. You look like shit, and I may be a hard-ass but I’m not a total bitch. Come on, let’s get out of here. I don’t know about you, death witch, but this place gives me the creeps.”
I let her escort me out of the morgue and back up the stairs. “I know it’s not my place,” she said, after a moment, “and I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m not sure you should be taking this case after what happened with your sister, after what happened to you.” I tensed, my shoulder blades contracting.
“That’s why I’m taking it,” I said finally. “It’s because of what happened to Violet. I owe her.”
“Tiana, I can see you’re already spiraling.”
“I’m not,” I said. Not thinking about the lack of sleep, the missed meals.
“Don’t lie to me,” Detective Pierce said. “I saw you after. You were a mess. If Dr. Allister hadn’t taken you in—”
“But he did,” I said, “and I’m back on my feet. It’s been four years since then. I’m doing better.”
Detective Pierce reached out to stop me. “I know you’re lying to me about this case. You’re trying to tell me some random little vampire groupie came and asked you to investigate the murders that could destroy the vampires here in Seattle? I know who put you on this case, and I don’t like that you’re anywhere near them.”
“It’s not like that. I know what I’m doing. I won’t get in too deep,” I said, striding past her and walking out of the morgue, straight into Valerian.
Chapter 18
The parking lot was almost empty. We were approaching the dead hours of the early morning. I could see the sky starting to lighten in the east. Valerian didn’t have much time left.
Detective Pierce drew up beside me. “Who is this?” she said.
I grit my teeth. Great. Exactly what I needed. She was looking at Valerian with eyes that saw far too much.
“Valerian, Detective Pierce. Detective Pierce, Valerian,” I said shortly. “Let’s go,” I told Valerian.
“Whoa, wait a minute,” she said. “Slow the fuck down, Tiana.” She turned to Valerian. “Valerian, huh? Nice to meet you.” She smiled and it was all the teeth. “You’re the vampire that put those guys in the hospital last night.”
“They were attacking Tiana,” Valerian said shortly.
She glanced sidelong at me. “It will all go in my statement,” I said after a second.
“I bet it will,” she said. She dragged me over to the side, not making much effort to lower her voice. It was futile with vampires, after all.
“What are you doing, Tiana?” she said, and I could hear real concern in her voice.
“It’s not like that,” I said. “He’s my liaison for the case. You’re right; Alexandra wanted me on it, okay? Look, I said I wasn’t going to take it, but then those goons turned up and tried to steal the file and I decided I wasn’t going to let it go. I walked away from this once and it was the wrong thing to do. It was the cowardly thing to do, you understand?”
“For fuck’s sake, Tiana,” Detective Pierce said. “You don’t have to solve everything. This isn’t on you. You’ve already been through enough.”
“That’s why it has to be on me,” I said. “I’m not dropping the case,” I said firmly.
I turned and walked away from her, jerking my head at Valerian to fall into step.
I could feel her unhappy eyes on my back. I knew she meant well but her concern wasn’t what I needed. I could protect myself. I wasn’t the foolish girl I had been four years ago.
I turned to look at Valerian. It was true. All of this was stirring up memories that I would sooner leave buried, but it didn’t matter how powerful the feelings were that I had around him. I wasn’t so stupid as to fall for any of that again.
“What did you find?” he asked when we reached his car, turning and leaning up against it.
“None of your fucking business,” I said shortly.
“Tiana, we are working together on this.”
“Excuse me?” I took a step back from the car. “Working together? Is that what you think? Like we were working together when I was investigating my sister’s death?” My voice began to rise. “Like we were working together when you found me in the vampire court? When you pretended to be there for me, pretended to look out for me, and the whole time you knew exactly what had happened to her. You kept it from me, you lied to me. Working together like that?” I was shouting, my breath coming short and painful.
He pushed away from the car and loomed over me. “I know I kept things from you last time. I wasn’t entirely honest with you before.”
I laughed bitterly and it felt like breathing through jagged glass. “Entirely honest? You weren’t honest at all. It was a lie, all of it.”
He looked at me, his eyes dark and merciless, and then he did something I never would have expected. “I’m sorry,” he said.
My heart stopped.
“Sorry? You’re sorry?” I whispered, pure incandescent rage washing through me and setting my every nerve on fire. “Are you fucking kidding me? Four years of silence and now you come here and you say, sorry?” I stepped up close to him and shoved him hard on the chest. “What exactly are you sorry for? Are you sorry for lying to me? You sorry for pretending to love me? You sorry for tricking me into thinking…” I broke off, choking, my throat thick. I could feel my eyes stinging. I scrubbed away my tears and stared up at him. “Or are you sorry for the fact that you did to me the same fucking thing that one of you did to Violet? That someone out there is doing to these new victims right now?” My throat was hoarse, my heartbeat kicking against my chest. I raised my hand to my neck and ripped the choker away so he could see the bite mark. So similar to the bite marks on Sevda’s and Oliver’s dead bodies. “Are you sorry for almost killing me? For draining me to the point of death and dumping me in the fucking trash like I was nothing?”
“Tiana, I—” He broke off.
“That’s it? No explanation, just a fucking apology, four years too late.” I was screaming now, my voice raw, pain filling up my insides, and the memories I had tried so hard to keep under lock and key finally overwhelmed me.
I remembered that night. The vampire party. Dancing, wild with pain. I’d finally discovered the truth about my sister that he had known all along—that she died in a vampire party that had gotten out of hand. I’d been wild with grief, desperate to drown my sorrows. So angry with him but still so in love. Dancing, spinning, whirling lights. His lips on mine, his mouth on my neck. His fangs in my throat. I remembered his embrace turning into a cage. The iron grip around me that had turned cruel. Scrabbling at his arms. Lethargy stealing over me as my blood drained from my body. And then only flashes. I remembered being carried through the glittering rooms of Mercer Island, low murmuring voices, and then the darkness of the alleyway. The stink of trash and the skitter of rats’ feet on the ground. Blue flashing lights. Detective Pierce’s face swimming into view. Hold on kid. I’ve got you, hold on.
I finally clawed my way back into the present, the memories fading around me. I stared up at Valerian silently, tear tracks wet on my face.
He didn’t try to speak. Didn’t try to excuse himself or apologize again. He just stood there, watching me with those dark eyes that saw far too much.
Chapter 19
I paid no attention to my surroundings on the way home. Somehow my feet managed to take me in the right direction while my mind was awhirl with memories.
Five years ago, I had been so oblivious. Living my life, consumed by my studies, my new friends, parties at college. I hadn’t even noticed that Violet hadn’t contacted me for a couple of weeks until I got the call to come down to the morgue and identify the body. I could still remember how she looked on the slab. Small and shriveled in death, nothing like the bright, vibrant sister I remembered.
I’d sank into depression, given up on my studies, my friends. I was consumed with a desperate need to find out what had happened to her. I spent months tracing her steps back to the vampires. Why had she gotten involved with them? Was it her magic? Had she been tricked by the glitz and the glamour that vampires carried with them? Or had she fallen for one of them quickly and completely, just like me. Because that was what had happened. My investigation had taken me to the vampire court and straight into Valerian’s arms.
I thought he was a prince and I was his princess. I thought I’d found everything I wanted, everything Eve had talked about when she said forever. An unbreakable bond between two souls. Death magic and vampire combining, unstoppable. True fucking love.
I had been such a fool.
All the while he’d known exactly what had happened to my sister. That one of their parties had gotten out of hand, that the drink and drugs and blood flowing freely had resulted in Violet’s death. And how once they realized they’d gone too far they’d dumped her and covered it all up. He’d lied to me, and when I’d found out I’d been mindless with grief and rage. Then I’d done the stupidest thing yet; I tried to drown my sorrows. Still in the vampire court, I’d dragged myself, drunk and wild and dumb, into a party and let Valerian kiss away my tears.
It had been a year since Violet had died and I had been drowning under my grief. So tired of hurting, so tired of searching. I just wanted a moment to forget, to sink into his kiss and the delirious rush of the bite. But it had been too much, too deep, too fast, and I had felt my blood pumping out of my veins and down his throat. I had felt myself dying, slipping toward the half world in freefall, and there had been nothing I could do about it.
I don’t know why he didn’t kill me that night, just like whoever had killed Violet. Perhaps he didn’t even care whether I lived or died. I don’t know what Good Samaritan had tipped off the police about the body in the alleyway, but if Detective Pierce had arrived even minutes later and the paramedics hadn’t reached me in time, I would be dead. Just like my sister. That was why, no matter how good it felt to be around him, no matter how well my body remembered the pleasure, it also remembered the pain.
I forgot to eat when I got home. I barely had enough energy to kick off my boots before collapsing into bed. I should have guessed my sleep would be uneasy after the night I’d had.
I opened my eyes and I was back in the vampire court. The edges of the room glittered into a shining light, formless and vague. I was dreaming. I was wearing a dress, something I would never actually pick out for myself. Something slinky in a deep emerald green that set off the color of my eyes. I was dancing, and for a moment I felt free within the music. Free to move, light-footed, as if I didn’t have a care in the world.
My partners were faceless, just an exchange of hands and smiles and shining eyes, until I spun and came face-to-face with Violet. She was wearing the color that was her namesake and her curly hair tumbled in loose locks down her back. She smiled at me, wide and bright, and gripped my hands. My heart ached. “Violet,” I said, my voice a whisper of longing, and she pulled me into her embrace, holding me tight. I clutched her back, tears appearing in my eyes. “I’ve missed you,” I said.
She pulled away and wiped away my tears. “Don’t cry, little sister,” she said. “I’m right here.”
“How come I never see you?” I said. “I see all the dead, but I don’t see you.”
She shook her head, her smile turning sad. “I’m sorry, T, I wish I could come to you more often but I can’t; it’s difficult for me.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why is it difficult?”
She shook her head again. “It’s complicated. There’s so much you don’t understand.”
“Then tell me,” I said. “Explain it to me.”
“I can’t,” she said, looking over her shoulder, and for a second the lights around us weren’t so warm but were sharp and clear, like spotlights. She pulled me away from the dancers toward the courtyard doors and outside. We slipped out of the light, into the darkness, and she led me down onto the soft grass, fresh with dew. “I don’t have long,” she said, pulling me after her. On a chain around her neck was the necklace I had bought her for her birthday, a tiny five-petaled violet flower in gold filigree. It glinted, catching the light. She tugged me into an arbor, night-blooming jasmine crawling over the arch around us.
“You have to listen, T,” she said, seriously. “It’s not about the murders. You’re looking in the wrong place. The real threat is somewhere else.”
“Where?” I asked. “What threat?”
She bit her lip; I could read frustration in her gaze. “Everything is not as it seems.” She reached out and placed her hand over my heart. “Trust this,” she said. “What you feel in your heart will guide you, it will guide you right. You’re stronger than I was, Tiana. It makes them want you more but it also means you have the power to stop them.”
“Stop who?” I asked, “Violet, tell me.”
But she was pulling away, the dream around us slipping and changing as a bright light swept through the gardens, piercing the shadows, piercing through her body. She became formless, just another ghost. “You have it, Tiana,” she said, her voice turning echoey, resonating all around me. “You have the power they are looking for. Don’t let them win. Trust yourself, trust your heart.” And she was gone.
The night around me was dark again, just the wind through the trees, a gentle whisper that almost masked the sound of a footfall behind me. I spun. Valerian was there. He wasn’t wearing his suit jacket, and his shirt collar was unbuttoned. He looked windswept, relaxed. His skin had a healthy glow, his lips warm and red. He had that almost human sheen of life that drinking blood gave vampires. I took a step away from him.
“No,” he said. “Please, don’t leave.” His voice softer than I’d ever heard it, coaxing, urging. It called up a strange flicker of half memories, disappearing like smoke when I reached for them. “I have already lost you once. At least allow me to dream of you.”
Dream of me? I was the one dreaming, wasn’t I? My confusion cost me my chance to escape. The next thing I knew, his hands were on my waist, his deep smoky scent enveloping me, and despite my resolution not to give in to desire, despite all the memories, the pain and trauma that had been stirred up, I still felt a connection to him. That strange, undeniable bond that I couldn’t explain away.
It had never been like this before. Four years ago, when we met, there had been no magic between us, just foolish emotions. The magic, the power, it was new. It was something that had happened after he drank my blood, after he drained me almost to death. Except that made no sense. Here in the dream he wasn’t real. None of this was real. This was just my mind playing tricks on me, drawing out my memories, giving me what I wanted. My sister and the man I once loved.
“How can I feel this here?” His wonder echoed my own. He looked down at me, his hand tracing the line of my jaw. I shivered under his touch. The way he held me, like I was something precious to him. It didn’t make sense.
“I don’t understand you,” I said. “You act like you don’t care, and then the look in your eyes. What are you hiding?”
His eyes darkened with secrets. “I wish I could tell you; there is so much I want to say—”
There was a flutter at the edges of
the dream. A slow unravelling as my sleep started to fade away.
“No,” he whispered, “a little longer, just a moment.” He leaned forward, his lips almost on mine, and at the last moment the dream broke and fell apart.
I opened my eyes to the cracked ceiling in my apartment, the lumpy mattress underneath me, and the cold, bright light of day shining through my window.
Chapter 20
I forced myself to eat something before going down to the precinct to give my statement—a slice of toast that tasted like ash.
“Hey, it’s the ghost whisperer,” one of the officers shouted as I stepped through the door. I flipped him the bird and walked past. “Detective Pierce?” I asked the officer at the desk.
He nodded to me in recognition and waved me past.
I walked through the precinct, feeling slightly on edge. As a witch I wasn’t exactly the most welcome sight in the precinct, but thanks to the fact that I did consultancy work for homicide they mostly gave me a free pass.
Perhaps because she had been hard on me yesterday, Detective Pierce didn’t put me on the spot again, just talked me through the events of that night.
“Did you get the head wound checked out,” she asked.
“Jazz took a look at it,” I said.
She nodded and leaned back in her chair. I noted the coffee cups and take-out boxes that littered her desk. “Did you go home last night or were you chasing down leads the whole time?”
“Leads?” She scoffed. “What leads? This entire case is one massive dead end.”
“What can you tell me about the thieves?” I asked.
She turned back to her computer screen. “Thugs for hire. We’ve got a long list of B&E charges, minor assaults. Nothing new. But they won’t give up the name of whoever hired them.”
“Loyalty?”