“That’s great to hear! But what are you doing up you crazy girl?”
“She needed to go to the bathroom,” her nurse answered, smiling down at her precious charge. The girl’s grin beamed between the both of them and shone an even brighter light on Ryan. He gently ruffled her golden blond curls and sent them off to her room.
“She had to be the cutest thing ever,” I said once Ryan came back to my side and we continued on our trek to the cafeteria. He smiled down at me, a new glint in his hazel green eyes that replaced the tired dimness from earlier.
“I’ve known her since she was two, and you’re right. She’s an angel,” he said, looking straight ahead but still keeping that wide grin on his face.
“You really like kids don’t you?” I asked, unable to ignore how passionate he was for children. It made for a very attractive quality that just propelled him to a whole other level.
“I do, yeah. Hopefully have five of my own some day.”
“Five? Wow! My mom came from a family of four and that’s crazy to me, five sounds like you’ll never be bored at Thanksgiving.”
“Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Martin Luther King Day. I'll always be entertained. It's something I never really got to experience. I had… well have a brother but I always wondered what it would be like to have more siblings,” he replied, pausing for the briefest moment at the mention of his brother. I looked over at him but couldn’t make out his facial expression. I wanted to dig in and find out what would make him pause. I wanted to find out what would make him tick as well. I basically just wanted to find out everything about him. He was becoming more and more interesting as the night went on.
I felt like there were layers I wanted to peel off of him. I imagined nights spent just talking about our lives, learning the histories and the small stories that followed us to adulthood. I imagined listening to each other talk about a first pet dog or the biggest fears we had when we were little compared to the ones we fear now. They were all questions that had no real substance unless answered and I wanted him to answer them all.
“Are you close to your brother?” I asked, needing to know more about him. I wasn’t sure if it was against some hospital rule to get close to a doctor, but I couldn’t help it. There was something there that excited me to no end.
“Well, sort of a complicated story,” he started as we finally entered the cafeteria. It was largely empty, with only two cashiers and a few cooks working by the cheeseburger grill.
“Hate to talk about such strong subjects, but since you asked. I was put up for adoption when I was born and just recently found out I have a brother I never knew about." He paused, letting me digest the history he was giving me. "I went through some lawyers and other doctors, trying to find something that pointed me in the right direction,” he said as he motioned over to a pre-made cheeseburger warming up under some heat lamps. Meanwhile, I was hanging on his every word. I knew how hard it was to go through foster care just by the stories Eric would tell me. The foster system was set up with the best of intentions but some people just aren’t meant to foster, and Eric had to deal with a lot of those. Yet Ryan seemed much better adjusted than Eric.
“Yeah, so I was finally able to reach out to my brother about a week ago. My actual brother. It feels weird to say out loud,” Ryan said, almost laughing at the way brother sounded coming out of his mouth. I could see that he was a man who never dreamed of connecting with his biological family again, so to find out that he had a brother must have been incredible.
I smiled at him as we sat down on the white, rounded tables in the center of the cafeteria. I took a bite into the now stale burger and swallowed with a sip of gatorade. He offered me some of his Lucky Charms cereal but I politely declined.
“I’m so happy you could find him,” I said, genuinely thrilled for him, “have you guys met in person yet?”
He looked up from his milk and cereal, which sat next to his also stale cheeseburger, and shook his head.
“Not yet, he had been out of town and then my schedule got crazy. We have something planned for next weekend though,” Ryan said. I noticed a bit of nervousness creep up on him at the thought of meeting his long lost brother. His free hand started nervously fluttering against the table. It could have also been the exhaustion he had been feeling.
“What do you guys have planned if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I don’t mind you asking anything,” Ryan said, genuinely meaning it. He kicked his leg out in front of him, accidentally knocking into mine but not moving it away. I tensed a little at the surprising touch but slowly relaxed.
“We’re doing what I assumed normal brothers do and go to a pizza place with some arcade games.”
I somehow found that to increase his attractiveness even more. “Wait, is he younger than you?” I asked, wondering why they weren’t going to a bar so that alcohol could cure any awkward moments between them, which I assumed would happen after not knowing each other for their whole lives.
“Yeah, he’s 20 and I’ll be 29 next month,” he asked, bringing his glass of milk up to his full lips. I noticed the dark black stubble that was starting to appear below his bottom lip and spreading out across his sculpted jaw line, darkening his already bronze complexion.
“Wait, you’re really young for a doctor,” I said, realizing the timeline.
“Yeah, I may have been a bit of a nerd when I was younger,” he said, almost sounding bashful. This Greek god sitting in front of me was confessing that he was a nerd in his high school days. I couldn’t be anymore turned on.
“I graduated two years early and started college at the ripe old age of fifteen. Needless to say, I was really popular among the frat scene,” he joked, twirling the glass of milk around and creating a white funnel. I noticed a muscle twitch underneath his now tired eyes, and I could tell I was starting to keep him up. I laughed and took one last bite out of my cheeseburger before I stood, grabbing our trays and throwing them both out.
“Well, I would have partied my ass off with you,” I said as we both started our way back to my room.
“Oh really?” Ryan asked, a playfulness in his voice that wasn’t there before.
“Yeah, I think we would have made great drinking buddies,” I said matter-of-factly.
“I was known for my speed and prowess at chugging bud lights.”
“I could tell, just by your stance,” I joked, noticing how Ryan still said hi to other the nurses on shift even as tired as he was.
“And how was that stance?” He asked, stopping in the empty hallway that held my room and calling me out. I could do nothing but stick to my guns and demonstrate. I comically put my hands on my hips, thrusted gently forward, and strode towards him with my hips swaying back and forth in an exaggerated manner. We both immediately broke out laughing once I came to a stop right in front of him. It could have been the exhaustion, but I somehow found myself laughing into his chest. He instantly put his hands around me in something that felt like more than just a hug. Our bodies pressed together as our sleep-deprived heads continued to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
The laughing slowly subsided and I began to realize I was still in Ryan’s arms. As my giggles diminished, I pushed away from his chest a bit and looked up at him. He looked down, our lips inches from meeting. I felt his warm breath on my cheeks as we tried to regain some air after our laugh attack. Our eyes were locked in with each other’s, his hands lowered down and pulled me in even closer. His back smacked against the wall as my hands looped up around his neck, the stubbles of his beard gently scratching at my palms.
“I thought you were beautiful the moment you were wheeled into my room,” Ryan whispered to me, smiling mischievously as his mouth inched closer to me. I tilted my chin upward, ready for our lips to meet in a passionate exchange driven by an intense chemistry that I had never felt before. My center burned with a growing passion as I brought his face down towards mine.
Then we heard footsteps, and it was ov
er faster than it had begun.
If I had jumped back any further I would have broken some sort of physic’s law. I was literally on the other side of the hallway in probably two seconds flat. My senses were always on high alert and I was well aware that we could get in trouble for this. And besides, what if Eric somehow found out?
Nope. Not an option.
I looked over at Ryan as a blonde nurse wearing teddy bear scrubs walked down the hall, nodding politely at the both of us but no doubt wondering what we were up to. I waved a goodnight towards her and to Ryan, smiling and mouthing a "thank you" as I hurried into my room. I took a deep breath and laid back down in my bed.
I slept with a smile on my face that night.
CHAPTER THREE
Waking up was a much less pleasant experience compared to falling asleep with the smell of Ryan still lingering in the air. My eyes snapped open to the sound of my phone vibrating on the bed stand next to me. I had forgotten to leave it charging the day before so it was off the whole time until I had turned it on just before falling asleep which meant that I didn’t get any of Eric’s calls.
And he called a lot.
"Hello?" I said weakly into my cracked cellphone as the haziness of sleep was wearing off.
"Hey, where are you? I’ve been calling you all day yesterday. I was so close to calling the police,” Eric asked, concern in his voice.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I kind of passed out during volunteering and had to stay here in the hospital for a bit. Nothing big, but I didn’t have my charger and forgot my phone even existed, I’ve been so busy with tests and stuff,” I apologized, hoping Eric wouldn’t compartmentalize this for later.
Silence.
"Are you ok?" he asked, a flash of anger sparking in his tone.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just passed out and bumped my head,” I replied, trying to brush off the incident and not worry Eric too much. He always worried about me. Whether it was worrying over how much oatmeal I had for breakfast or what the acne-riddled teenage boy was telling me at the grocery checkout line. He was always so protective of me.
“I’ll be home soon, promise you’ll be home when I get there?” I asked warily, not knowing if it would be a good idea having him see me like this.
“Depends, I have basketball practice, " Eric said, his sentences now cut short. I knew I needed to end this conversation before Eric got even angrier.
“Alright, I got to go, the nurse is coming to give me lunch.”
"Ok, bye."
I pressed end on the call and sighed, not knowing how Eric actually took it. I was just scared he would suspect I was lying and think that I was in fact somewhere else. It wasn’t like the Eric I always knew, but the Eric I knew now had become an overly paranoid mess. What's worse is that the current Eric was beginning to take out his frustrations physically. I rolled over on my uncomfortable but very adjustable hospital bed, stuffing my slightly throbbing head into one of the flattest pillows I had ever felt. I couldn't help but let out another groan. I heard the woman lying in the hospital bed next to me groan back in a weird sort of reply. I looked over and waved through the thin pink fabric separating our beds. I saw her dark black shadow wave back in return and give me a thumbs up.
"What are you in for?" I asked.
"Oh you don't want to know," the lady responded, her frail voice breaking up with small coughs.
"Well don't worry. I know you'll get better."
The lady took a moment to respond.
"How so?" she asked, curiosity overcoming her.
"Because I've heard you talk to your husband and I see that beautiful photo of you two on that horribly tacky wooden dresser. You have too much to live for."
I laid my head back on the cardboard pillow, wondering what it was like to share that kind of love. During my busy night of being poked and prodded, and not in the good way, I was able to catch an intimate display of love between the elderly couple. I was lying in bed, waiting for the nurse to come and draw some blood, when the older woman’s husband shuffled into the room. His walker made small thumping sounds as the green tennis balls attached to the legs met the ground underneath. I tried my hardest to give them some privacy but that’s pretty hard when you’re tied down to various machinery designed to sound like a bomb going off if your vitals began failing. So I sat there, trying to distract myself with an old Peoples magazine. As I was reading an article about Jennifer Lopez, I quickly peeked over at the couple and saw a scene straight out of The Notebook.
From a pulled back corner of the cloth barrier between us, I could see the two in bed, the older gentleman with his head resting on the woman’s chest. His eyes shutting in what seemed to be sleep at first, but I could see a shiny glean on his cheek and fresh tears falling from his closing eyes. The woman kissed the back of his head over and over again; her frail hands burdened with various IV needles, lifted up and ran through the thin strands of white hair left on the man’s head.
“I’ll love you until the moon stops shining.”
“I’ll love you until the earth stops spinning.”
The love in the room enveloped me, bringing tears to my own eyes. These two had something that I wanted to have so badly. Just pure, unadulterated love that has the power to last the test of time. A bond so incredible that only a global catastrophe could have them focus on something else, and even then I had a feeling their love would still outlast such a cataclysm. I tried getting back to my magazine, but couldn’t shake the thought of their adoration for the rest of the night. I watched as the man left, hobbling back out of the room, his hands braced himself up against the walker as the weight of the world pressed down on him, threatening to overwhelm him. I saw years of life and love leave the room that night. I didn’t know it would be the last night they would ever share an embrace again… Thankfully I didn’t know it would be the last night they would ever share an embrace again.
From the bed next to me, I heard tears trying their hardest to keep silent. I was just about to ask her what was wrong when I heard a voice I already knew all too well come from the entrance to our quaint little room.
"Emma, you're up!" Ryan said, walking over with his iPad clutched to his strong chest, ready to note down my vital signs and make sure I wasn't secretly dying or anything.
Then again, weren't all of us secretly dying in some sort of manner?
"Yep. My headache is almost gone too so that has to be a plus, right? I woke up, so that's one, and I lost my headache, that's two. How many do I need to get out of here?"
He reached behind my head to check for any swelling. I noticed how big his hand was as his fingers glided through my hair, sending small sparks of relaxing pleasure.
"You're going to need at least one more before we can let you go. The next one on the list is learning how to tightrope with a tutu-sporting poodle.” His smile was infectious.
“I’m allergic to dogs.” I responded, pushing myself back up on the scratchy white sheets.
“Well that’s unfortunate. Looks like we’ll have to keep you here for even longer.”
I feigned a look of distress as I reached over and picked up the tray of faux-gourmet hospital food. The jell-o tried shaking but its stiffness wouldn’t allow it, instead managing only a barely noticeable wiggle under the fluorescent white light.
“Sorry, doc, but even if I had multiple stab wounds along with five compound fractures and a crazy sized abdominal abscess, I still wouldn’t stay here longer than three days. Do you remember the food?”
I watched as Dr. Matthews chuckled. He looked up from his shiny black iPad and seemed to look through me somehow. It made a small shiver run down the back of my neck and memories of the night before came flooding back. My temperature started to rise as I admired the way his strong legs filled out the pastel green scrubs.
“That’s a lot of medical terminology, you studying to become a doctor?” he asked, clearly impressed by my use of big words. I guess that 7:15 class I took on medical terminology did end up
paying off.
“Yeah well I was. But it just so happens that I now pass out at the sight of blood and the sound of unstoppable wailing, so I’m guessing I may have to reconsider.” I played with the hospital wristband which was slightly cutting off my circulation. I didn’t really want to think about having to reconsider my whole life plan. I had everything laid out pretty well, a timeline that I wasn’t too keen on adjusting.
I was supposed to graduate college with my bachelor’s at the age of 22, make my way through the rigorous medical curriculum and become a practicing surgeon by the age of 33. In the interim, I planned on figuring out the situation between Eric and me. We were growing farther apart as each day passed us by and his outbursts were becoming bigger and more frequent. So now I not only had to deal with Eric but I also needed to figure out where my other passion was and somehow break the news to my mother. That was probably the scariest part of this whole mess.
My mother was such a gentle, loving, and supportive woman that always wanted the best for me. I was six when my father was sent to jail for armed robbery, and that was when my mother promised me that a better life was just around the corner. She busted her ass working three jobs and sending me to the best schools, always instilling in me a passion for hard work and success. I saw her single-handedly turn our lives upside down in the best possible way. We went from living in a small one-bedroom and cockroach infested apartment to a much nicer two-bedroom apartment with working faucets and only small silverfish that scurried away under the bathroom rug whenever the lights came on. Much nicer than the mutated cockroaches that seemed to hold nightly support group meetings in our cluttered kitchen.
I’ll never forget the look on her face when she saw I had been accepted to UCLA. It wasn’t Harvard, but it was a close second. Tears of proud joy streamed down her features as she wrapped me up in one of the tightest hugs I had ever had. I was lucky all my ribs were still intact. Then when she found out I wanted to be a doctor, she immediately thought that I was going to be an incredible surgeon and would never miss a chance to talk about how her daughter was going to save so many lives.
Prescribed (The White Coat Series) Page 2