Jacob and Micah did not return; after her outburst, both had gone down the mount, back to Kiah's cabin, their own true home, the one they deserved, at least in their eyes. She and James found them there later, sleeping on the porch, out of doors, away from the smell of Jacob's own blood dried upon the floorboards; her father insisted they come back, live at Hidden Jewel. To make things easier on everyone, they had politely declined the leader's generous offer. The look mirrored in the eyes of both when they refused had been truly awful; a hunted look that made Ailill's wame curdle with dread. In a compromise, they'd been persuaded to sleep at the old cabin in the wood. She shifted, restless with the knowledge, unable to get her mind to settle down as easily as her body. That had been two weeks ago.
“And here I still set,” she muttered softly to herself, sighing in frustration. “On the mountain that only wishes it could be home... thinking thoughts I shouldn't about men I don't want to think at all about... aye, men suck!”
It was not the first time her thoughts wandered back to the two men as she sat alone in the dark, mere yards away from the entrance to the chambers she would most likely enter at dawn; it was imperative to wait. If she allowed her heart to lead her, Ailill knew, she would go one of two ways. Either through the doorway so close by, to prove her love to Tiernan, or she would take the long walk in the opposite direction, to the other side of Wilderdeep, and sleep in the arms of both raven twins, if only to spite the fiend who had managed to claim them for so long. The first choice was too much to contemplate; it filled her with turmoil. The other choice was one she had contemplated many times already tonight. She wanted to go to them, and yet she didn't. Her cheeks flushed suddenly at the thought of them, though not in embarrassment; more, it was a sign of something Micah had said, a few weeks before, about controlling desires with a look, or a touch, or a word. The problem was that both men had somehow managed to learn such control over her, with nary a finger laid upon her person, and she was having a very hard time controlling those urges brought on by imagining the double pleasure they could so easily give her. She wanted them so badly it frightened her. She could not leave. Neither could she stay without losing her sanity.
The hours alone in the wood had already done her much good. She had used the time to reflect on everything that was expected of her in the weeks and months to come; and for the rest of her life. She blinked up at the moon, pushing the solemn image that came unbidden behind her eyes back into the recesses of her mind, wishing she had someone to talk to, knowing that that someone was across a divide which seemed impassable just now because he had sent her away; and that the other someone was the other two-thirds of one perfect man, whom she had bidden to stay away until she had worked out all of the turmoil so deeply embedded within her psyche. Her cousins were an option; she could always open her heart to them without fear of recrimination, yet she was wary of bringing anyone else into this land; she still wondered what had caused them to make such a hasty exit, passing up the chance to at least look upon her. Annie was mum, as was her father, to the point that she'd finally fled, frustrated, to the darkness and silence of the woods. All for the best, she silently acknowledged, swallowing down the bitter taste of loneliness; a bitterness she'd not tasted in too many years, since she'd first given her very self up to the Druids- coming to them as a mere acolyte, and a small child. Then it had only lasted a month or two, and she'd gotten through it easily, at the time missing only one lad. Tiernan. Again. Sighing her frustration, a half-groan in the silence, Ailill squeezed her eyes shut, willed the images away with a force that left her head throbbing, the answer to her question a lonely nay. As neither Micah nor Jacob yet knew whom they were, it was hard enough with only herself; adding three gorgeous men to the equation, men who had avowed themselves for her own safety... she could only imagine how the twins might react. Jealousy was frowned upon within the Realm and both had proven a very green streak, indeed. Not to mention the anger within each, so strong; unresolved. They were proving to be worse off than even she'd expected. In a way, Ailill doubted they could ever understand. She certainly didn't. The Elders should have just left well enough alone, regarding those two. Nay, lass. Yer not so selfish. MacDuff deserves to have his sons back, she silently berated.
Sitting up with a sigh, Ailill picked up the small aluminum pot warming on a flattened stone just inside the firepit she had set up when she first arrived at her campsite. She had carefully dug the hole and lined it with rocks in order to spit-roast an unwary rabbit she had come across on the way through the wood. It had been an easy kill with a simple bow and arrow. It had been delicious for her dinner, cooked over the licking flames. A mist of scented steam rose from the spout along the top of the battered old pot and she inhaled deeply of the aroma as she poured out the herbal tea into a mug.
"Come on, Ailill, pull yourself together," she muttered under her breath. "You can sleep alone in the wood for one bloody night. You've done it a many times before!"
Retaking her seat, she raised the cup to her lips and closed her eyes at the instant relief to her parched throat, leaning back against the tree to stare into the dancing flames, resigned to the prospect of a lonely, sleepless night shared with the ghosts of the past and the realities of the future.
"Whad'ya think she's doin' right now?"
"Talkin', most likely," Micah answered immediately, flashing a white grin over at Jacob. He had been thinking about Ailill all night, ever since she had announced her little camping trip "alone" and he'd been pondering the very same thing. Jacob looked at him blankly for a moment, letting his smoke-filled lungs clear with a slow exhalation. The aromatic cloud wafted toward his twin who, waving a hand, cleared the air in front of his face, a solemn expression in his dark eyes as he watched Jacob drift ever higher.
"Who would she be talkin' to in a boneyard, Micah?" Jacob asked, truly perplexed.
"Ghosts." His eyes took on a sadness which was lost on his twin. "She talks all night. In all the times we've stayed over you never noticed?"
"Uh-uh. Only when she was sleepin' off healin' me." Head swaying side to side, Jacob said, "to y'all? Or to herself?" His red-rimmed eyes squinted through the dim, smoky light. He was grinning, completely at ease where he sprawled, half-naked, on the other end of the overstuffed couch, waiting for Micah to answer.
"She talks to the people she sees in her dreams, Jacob. Has long conversations with 'em all night long."
"Who's she dreamin' about, 'sides y'all, Brother?" Coughing, Jacob wheezed, "Or maybe even me."
"I told ya. Ghosts." Sitting forward, elbows resting on his knees, Micah reached for the spliff Jacob held out to him between thumb and forefinger. "Don't laugh, man. I asked her about it, after the first time we stayed the night... she told me she dreams about our ancestors, and her own family. Dead and alive; talks to 'em in her dreams and they talk back to her. It's how she connects, she says; how she knows things." He looked around uneasily, suddenly feeling unsettled; wanting to go to her even though she told them both to stay away. Her cheeks had been flushed, eyes dark with feeling, though she commanded in a clear voice that neither follow her. It had been more than difficult to keep that particular promise, which was how the brothers came to be sitting in the cabin, their temporary new home, passing a joint back and forth, late into the night; though the chances of Kiah suddenly returning, searching them out this late at night, were slim, they'd been careful to keep hidden in amongst the forest of Wilderdeep until long after dark, just to be sure though neither would have admitted such a fear to Ailill; to anyone, except each other.
"I wonder if she talks to him, about us," Jacob said after awhile.
Shrugging his broad shoulders, Micah stared into the dancing flames inside the fireplace, unable to avoid thinking about that himself; unable to shake off a feeling that, despite her wish that they not join her, it would be better for them all if he did.
The sight of her had been a mild surprise. Neither man had ever seen Ailill so clothed before, yet she held
the door aside, reluctantly granting them entry into her room dressed in long, well-worn bluejeans that showed off the curve of her hips nicely, a pair of knee-high buff colored moccasins, not yet laced, hugged the lines of her calves when she turned back toward the large, soft bed that took up most of the room. The bronze skin of her arms glistened in the suns last rays streaming through the unshaded windows, a light sheen of perspiration along the rippling limbs the only sign of her discomfort at being overdressed as she shoved a small pile of necessities into the bottom of a canvas pack with rough, jerky movements, as if she were still angry.
Apologies quickly taken care of, both stared at her in expectation.
"We'll still be staying down at the cabin," Micah stated, tentative, drawing her eyes up at last.
"Aye, I ken it. It was my idea, after all."
"Well, then you can stop packing. We won't be around to bother you, Abby." With a glance around, she picked up a small sheathed knife which she strapped to the top of her moccasin. "Didn't y'all hear me? We won't be here, or anywhere else to bother you." Micah said, his eyes boring into her backside.
"I won't be here either," she replied, looking up. Exchanging a glance with his twin, Micah glowered into her upturned face.
"So, you're gonna leave after all, is that it? It's been a couple weeks, ya know. You'd really rather leave us altogether?"
"Aye... but I will not," Ailill replied simply. "I've yet to lie with Jacob, as I've already said. I cannot leave until I do." Her eyes flashed, shimmered with a rainbowed hue before she turned away. "But, I cannot stand another night in my parent's house. I will be staying in the Dead Wood, until I feel like comin' back here."
"When will that be?" Jacob demanded rather unkindly. He took a step closer, came up behind and grasped her shoulder, intent on forcing her to look at him.
"When I decide," came the sharp reply. She shrugged noncommittally, the motion making his hand drop. "Does it really matter? You've done fine without me for... well, hell, over twenty years! You've plenty o' lasses to bed, Jacob, and you as well, now that the virginity is out o' the way." Her gaze swept down Micah's length, chilling him to the bone with the coldness in the sapphire orbs. "When I return to this veritable prison is up to me alone. Live with it, and don't follow me. I might mistake you for a beast and shoot you." Her glance was proof of her truthfulness; a .22 lay across the bed, the stock polished until it gleamed, a pouch of bullets beside it.
"Uh-uh," Micah grunted, head shaking in denial as he crossed the space between them in one long stride. "You can't go. It ain't fair to us, it ain't fair to your parents, and it's just plain damn wrong! I won't let you leave, Ailill." He kissed her, hard, a lip bruising kiss backed by a strength of feeling that stole her breath away, made her fingers clench into tiny fists at her sides. Just when she thought to catch her breath, Jacob came at her from behind, the two nearly squeezing the life from her as they sought to change her mind, to make her respond; hands groped her, seemingly from every direction, lips seared her flesh, every touch tinged with a hint of desperation that pulled at her heartstrings, her inherent sense of desire, until she nearly caved under such insistent pressure. It was only at the last moment, two pair of strong hands working together to push her pants down, out of the way, that she saw herself with any real clarity and it was devastating. There was naught to do but draw upon an image that would stop the persistent men in their tracks. And boy, did it!
"I still can't believe Annie walked in on us," Jacob drawled, amusement hidden in the depths of his dilated eyes. "Did y'all see the look on her face?"
Settling himself more comfortably on the oversized couch, his long legs stretched across the table before him, Micah laughed aloud, mightily proud of himself. "How else would she look, walkin' in to find her only daughter smack dab in the middle of a Black-wich?"
“A what?”
“Ya know, a Black sandwich.” Micah's eyes blinked, glittered with amusement.
Jacob snorted with laughter, his eyes glazed over from the drug coursing through his bloodstream. After a couple of hours of going at it with unfettered abandon, both of the brothers were flying as high as kites, full of exuberance which was echoed in the increasingly ribald jokes and bawdy laughter. "Blackwich," he wheezed, clutching his sides. "Ailill can't handle a Black-anything sandwich! She's too... delicate. Like a flower."
Micah grinned wolfishly at that. "She ain't nothin' near del-i-cate," he answered, sounding the word out with a numb tongue before running it across his lips, a thoughtful look on his handsome face. "She could kick your ass one handed."
"Your's, too." Jacob giggled in merriment, eying his twin.
"She islike a flower though." Micah's bare shoulders shook suddenly with silent laughter.
"You mean she was, up 'til y'all came along."
"Nah, she still is," Micah croaked, dark brows raised like wings. "Like the gillyflowers and linden flowers she makes into tea. That's what she tastes like." His cheeks burned from within at the thought.
"Oh, yeah? Done that already, Brother?" Jacob could not keep the surprise from his tone at that little bit of information. "Tell me more."
"No way man! Abby wouldn't like us talkin' about her."
"So. Tell me anyways." Jacob sat up, his curiosity piqued through the haze of his mind. "Y'all don't talk to me no more at night and you've been around her alot more. Tell me everything."
Micah laughed, eyes twinkling at the look on Jacob's face. "Y'all gonna beg?"
"If I have to. You wouldn't let her be alone with me, she told me so." Jacob looked slightly miffed at Micah's answering grin. Picking up his mug, he drank deeply to hide it.
"Well, what d'ya expect? She was a virgin and y'all were too willing to take that from her! Lucky for you she was more than willin' to do at least somethin' long before Annie came home."
Grinning darkly through the smoky haze, Jacob's eyes flashed knowingly in the light of the fire. "And unlucky for y'all that she knew her limits or that Black Sandwich would've taken on a whole new meaning," he replied cryptically.
Micah's animated face stilled suddenly into a serious expression. "She's young still, man. Innocent. I don't do more than she can handle and she can't handle us both, not even just makin' out," he said in answer, allowing his feelings for her to show, a softly glowing flame in his eyes. "Anything I've done with her has been kinda rushed, except when we, uh, you know, so... today was a shock for all of us. Her parents watch whenever we're around. Makes me uncomfortable, like I gotta sneak her kisses, or James'll be right there, makin' sure I finish the deed. I know it really gets to her. Anything more is hard won. You know that scent behind her ears? The spicy-sweet smell she leaves on your skin when you touch her?" His voice was suddenly husky, filled with suppressed emotions.
His twin nodded solemnly, his nostrils flaring with the vivid memory of it.
"That's what she tastes like, Jacob. All over; and the scent grows stronger, the more turned on she is, when her pores open up and she sweats, it's like a perfume. I am drawn to her like a bee. When she opens to me, so hot and slick with her need, I know the scent will be strongest there, in her juices, her nectar. Yeah, I've done that. Couldn't help myself, you know, so, yes, I've sampled more than just her mouth." He held up one long finger, touched it to his lips; smiled. "The taste of her is...intoxicating. She is like a drug to me and I am badly addicted." Micah's eyes stared into the darkness outside the window, far away from his brother and the cabin in his thoughts, seeing Ailill in his mind. He had said enough, too much in fact, but he did not know how to stop himself from going on. Watching him intently, Jacob nodded in encouragement, wanting to hear more.
"She cried out in Gaelic the one time I did that; wrapped her legs around my head and came in a flowing stream that poured over my tongue and down my throat like sweet water. The look on her face was... magic... unbelievably beautiful; she isa fairy woman. I believe it, I saw the change, the signs... so full of life, so willing to try anything without shame or apolo
gy, just like it says in the legends. I've never known anyone like her. She's all I think about, all I see, whether I'm awake or asleep. All I hear is her voice, her low, sexy voice; her laughter. The sound of her her breath when it comes faster as her need grows. She cries out very loudly when she knows no one will hear; gives in completely; tells me what she wants. She cusses. She knows more swear words than I ever knew existed!" Micah smiled at his twin with unabashed emotion, making Jacob smile just to see it. There were tears in his eyes, a shocking sign of the depths of his feelings which Jacob could not ignore.
"She whispered thanks to God!" he whispered. "Not just to Brigit, or Thor, or Saint anybody. To the one and only, and only at the end, when she could barely utter the words over the poundin' of her heart. To know that I can bring her to that... that point, where she can forget everything that has been bred into her since she was born; that she would reveal herself so completely to me. I can't describe what that does to me, man. I didn't know it would be like this. I never felt so strongly for McKell before she died and she taught me everything I know, but if this is what it was like for you, then I can understand it all better now. I just hope you can also feel this way for Ailill. It ain't just about sex with her, Jacob, it's... everything. To think that we could lose her to someone else, it tears my heart slowly in two."
Hidden Jewel (Heartfire Series) Page 23