Ailill met his scowl with a suddenly open look, her ire raised to the point that it was almost an entity all it's own. "Aye, I am very young yet, and I have got much to learn, but let me tell you, Micah," she spat viciously, hackles raised in defense toward the dark haired man. "You know absolutely nothing about me, including the very reason why I have been forced into avowin' myself to youand to Jacob. Nor do you know why I am avowed to Tiernan, against your wishes, though, in all honesty, I would rather be avowed to him than to either one of you. Hehas never raised a hand to me out of anger and resentment, nor has he, even once, threatened my very person with his everlasting strength, as both of you havedone. Hehas never forced himself on me to the point that I would feel pain, and shame, to the point were Iwould question my very existence, wondering how I mun thole being treated as naught but a slave, to be passed from hand to hand at the whims of stupid men! And then you have the nerve to stand there, proud as a ruttin' buck, and insult me? Hear this, Micah, and do not ever forget it." Eyes a feral gleam in the shadows cast by the licking flames, Ailill glared maliciously into Micah's face.
"I will lie with whomever I wish, whenever I wish, and because of who I am, I have every right to do so. Consider yourself lucky that I have chosen you, because I could have said nay to even bothering to find you, and then you'd always be naught but the son of Kiah Morna, a foul, black-hearted man who would brutally rape his own dead brother's very young, very pregnant daughter, her innocence stolen by your twin. Aye! Raped mere hours before her death in childbed, a death caused by Him, and the beast never batted an eye since carrying out such an evil deed. I've allowed you to believe you're own lies long enough!"
The shock that ran through the two men was a living thing, an electrical current that seemed to arc back and forth between them like a bolt of lightning. Ailill swung on her heel, furious with herself for saying far too much, for lacking the self-control to hold her tongue about such an important matter. A rush of incoherent vitriol stayed her in midstride, and then she heard a familiar name, the very sound forcing Ailill to do an immediate about-face only because it was such a shock to hear it uttered in the twins' voice. The two men were standing beside one another, staring down at her with gleaming eyes, full of malice.
"You lie," Jacob stated hoarsely, angered beyond the point of even seeing Ailill clearly, though she was but a few yards away. "I have never stolen anyone'sinnocence, let alone a blood relative. I am not so depraved as that. How dare you even suggest such a line of bullshit?"
"How dare I?" Ailill retorted angrily. "How dare I?How dare you! It was but the way the lass described you, Jacob! She said you made her scream when you took her; that she couldn't help herself for the way you fucked her, and that she was terribly ashamed when she had to look your twin in the eye, after, as she made her way home at the dawn, under his escort, only because you had chosen to sleep alone after using her all night long. I knew it was you, Jacob, whom the lass was describing, because Micah had never lain with a womanbefore I-came-here." Face flushed deep crimson, Ailill eyed the two men, wishing she had never opened up this particular can of worms, knowing that it was far too late for anything but the full truth to come out. There was something very wrong; she sensed it immediately as she looked at the denial written so clearly across Jacob's face. Taking a tentative step forward, she studied the man carefully and blanched.
"You didn't know... did you?" The question was spoken so softly that Jacob blinked in confusion. Micah stared at her, his face impassive. The fury that had gotten her through the last ten minutes melted away in an instant, replaced with pity that ran bone deep, that showed clearly in her eyes, her expression.
Jacob shook his head, unable to make sense of the tiny woman's words, her meaning. "Know what?"
"That the poor lassie was your own kin, your cousin," Ailill answered quietly. "When you met her, when you took her that night. Very surprising..." Her voice trailed off at the look in Micah's eyes. It was a look of warning, an order for her to shut up before she caused his twin some serious mental damage. Ignoring Micah's expressive eyes, Ailill looked into Jacob's unhappy face and said, "we can always tell our own blood, and her's was aye strong. I only wish I might have saved her, as well as the bairn."
When she met them, Micah's eyes were blazing deep blue fury, the sight of such vehemence burning once more in the man's gaze making her take a step back, and another, suddenly quite fearful of him after her own thoughtless temerity. He took a step toward her and Ailill turned, taking off at a dead run into the darkness and shadows of Wilderdeep.
Each time she chanced a glance, the tall, muscular form of Micah was not far behind. Every twist, every turn she made in her attempt to lose the infuriated man only seemed to bring him closer. Briefly, Ailill wondered if both men had taken up the chase; her eyes cast down, her tiny feet pointed inward on the untrodden trail to remain upright in spite of the thickly overgrown brush, Ailill pushed herself hard, outdistancing the man once again in her effort to steer clear of his wrath.
If she hadn't been so worried about what he might do to her once he caught up, Ailill would have realized that Micah was no longer chasing her with the sole intention of pummeling her into the ground, as he had at first wanted to do. His reason for following through with such a charged chase was pure and simple. He wanted an explanation, a reason for why she would say the things she had said back at the cabin, including the small hints regarding other things of less import, admissions on her part; and then he wanted to pummel her into the ground in the most primitive way, the adaptation of a rather caveman-like attitude spurring him on toward her inevitable capture.
He hit her hard, the breathe knocked from her heaving lungs on impact, halting her with a suddenness that made Ailill see stars for long moments as she struggled to breathe under Micah's solid weight. As trim and finely made as he was, Micah still weighed a good ninety pounds or so more than Ailill, and at the moment he was doing his best to keep her still by holding most of it across her small torso, his chest fairly flattening hers. "Get-off-me," she huffed slowly as her lungs began to work once more, her arms still too limp to even lift up from the damp ground. She sucked in deep lungfuls as he moved his weight onto his forearms to peer into her face.
"I can't believe your nerve, woman." His own chest still heaving from exertion, he looked at her with pain in his eyes, a piercing stare, and then he kissed her until she grew restless beneath him, unable to push him away. "You don't know when to shut up, do you?" he said when he pulled away. Gripping her arms tightly, holding them against the earthen floor until she cried out at the pain, Micah bent forward and kissed her again, with more force. "You hurt us with your words, Abby," Micah whispered angrily against her bruised lips. "You hurt me!"
"Aye. And you hurt me as well, Micah." Her eyes were bright, filled to brimming with tears at the pain he was causing in her arms; a bit more pressure and both limbs would snap like a couple of twigs. "You're breaking my arms, let go!"
"No, not 'til you tell me everything that you know." His eyes compelled her, drew her in.
Ailill stared back for a long moment, and then, unable to think of anything else to do, she burst into tears. In the midst of the deluge, Micah was only able to understand bits and pieces of her incoherent babbling, but it was enough. He moved away and sat up, watching her warily, but Ailill did not make a move to get up. Instead she talked, on and on, her voice wavering, thickening with suppressed sobs, her words making the dark haired man cringe in self disgust with the proof of all that she had come to know, spilling forth like an ever widening breach in a dam until he could take no more.
"Enough," he cried hoarsely, crawling closer on hands and knees until he was hovering inches above Ailill's rapidly moving lips. "Enough, I said. I can't take no more!" His hand floated up, long fingers pressing painfully across her lips to still them. She stared at him, eyes round as saucers, glassy with tears, more afraid of the devastating pain that wracked the man than she had been by the outright fury
of earlier. "You're killin' me," Micah breathed into her face, his fingers leaving her swollen lips, trailing down her body with the familiarity of a man who had been her lover throughout ages long past. "Every word you say, Abby; it ain't all true, I ain't what you say."
Her hands came up, fingers lighting on his finely chiseled face, a feathery caress that stilled his lips, his own words, instantly. "I dinna care." Her eyes shown bright with the truth of such a small statement. "I chose you even though I had my own suppositions long ago. I avowed myself, my fealty, to you. I love you, Micah. Can ye not see that?"
"No, Ailill. I cannot. I see that you love that other guy," he answered tonelessly, moving to pull away. Her fingers wrapped around his arms, holding him, pulling him down on her. "Don't." Ailill's legs slid up, around his waist, and she began to move under him purposefully. His eyes flashed in the shadows and he gripped her by the hips, stopping the smooth motion.
"I said don't."
"Why not?"
Sighing in exasperation, his feelings terribly hurt by all that she had said, Micah jumped to his feet, staring down at her with an intensity that took her breath away. "Because I don't want you. As you said before, I'd rather be with my twin. He may be a shit sometimes, but at least he doesn't hide himself from me the way you do. At least he ain't gonna up and abandon me like you're plannin' on doin'. Like you always do!"
"Abandon you?" Ailill could not hide the surprise in her voice, the sound drawing Micah's sharp gaze up with her stricken face as she slowly rose to her feet. She stared at the man, confused.
Micah stared back, suddenly uncertain. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Abandon me, and Jacob...to go to your Scottish lover. My supposedbrother."
Brow furrowed in a deep frown of consternation, Ailill stiffened, willing herself to stay calm. His eyes were filled with an unhappiness that made her want to comfort him in the only way that would do just that, but she could not. It was important to remain clear headed. Sighing deeply, Ailill leaned against the nearest tree, watching the emotions cross over Micah's expressive face. He seemed to have lost hope, and she cringed inwardly, knowing it was her own doing. But it would not be her undoing. With decision, Ailill spoke up.
"I wasn't planning to abandon you, Micah. Nor your twin. In truth, I have been making plans to take you with me, when I cross over. I wished to show you all that you have wondered about, all that you have missed in your life. But I cannot take you without first finishing things here... Lying with Jacob, for one thing. I don't want to... not yet at least."
Micah blinked at her, unsure if she was really saying what it sounded like she was saying. A glimmer of hope lit in the deep pools of his eyes and she stepped closer, wanting nothing more than to take all of his pain and anger away; wanting to draw him down into the ferns at their feet and melt into him until they both lost all consciousness of this world in which they lived. Her thoughts showed clearly in the windows of her eyes and Micah blinked in surprise. Her mood changed so rapidly the last few days, it was difficult to keep up; being around Ailill was like tapdancing on a crate of eggshells.
"Did you hear me, Micah?" she said softly, coaxingly. "I am taking you with me, when I go for good. I would never abandon you, because I am sore in love with you and I would die bit by bit if I didn't have you in my life." Her eyes were so blue, so openly honest. "I loved you from the very first moment, when you followed me up the mountain, and even longer. I will always feel closer to you than to any other because we shared our innocence with one another. I don't care what you've done in the past, with whom, nor why, Micah, because we are together now, in thislife, and we have a connection like no other. You will stray from me, as will Jacob, and Tiernan too, over time. It is a given. I will also, in truth, lie with others, eventually. I believe it will be to make bairns, though the dream of it was unclear. I do not wish it right now, at this moment in time, but the heart beats a thousand different rhythms in a lifetime; it changes things when you least expect it." Her gaze moved up, through the trees, gauging the time by the way the shadows fell under the thick canopy. "I must head to the chamber in less than four hours, Micah. It's important, this wee trip. Do you wish to join me for one last tryst before the doorway opens?"
Watching her intently, Micah stepped forward and took her hand, turning her back toward their cabin with a gentle tug. It was awhile before he even said anything and Ailill wondered if he would ever forgive her for revealing so much of himself, his own life, to him in a fit of anger. Her mind turned quickly to Jacob, once the trees began to thin out as they came closer to the trail leading toward the stone mound. She doubted that hewould ever see her in the same light, though when she started to say as much, Micah silenced her instantly with a deep kiss, the rough bark of a massive oak tree sloughing the topmost layer of the skin from her spine when he pushed her hard against it, seeking relief from the raw wounds of his soul.
It was quick, nearly emotionless; he did not take her the way that she had expected; it was as if the man were lost somewhere deep inside himself after that kiss, somewhere in a painful memory; unwilling to even look at her, he turned her away, holding her arms above with a strong grip, shackled by his own inhuman strength, pushing her skirt up to reveal her shapely rear, her breasts smashed up against the bark hard enough to leave an imprint on the delicate flesh. Unwilling to enter her, though Ailill was ready and more than willing to comply with the unusual new position, Micah instead whispered his feelings to her in a shocking stream of expletives, using touch along the surface of her highly sensitive skin, his own hand moving rhythmically along himself, between her legs, to bring about the little death until both shuddered and moved together at last to draw out the final measure, as his angry tears wet her shoulder with the reality of his Ailill and exactly what she had come to believe of him.
"I am trulysorry. I should have held my tongue. I never should have come out here in the first place. I don't know what I might do to help, to make you feel better."
Micah's gaze settled evenly on Ailill's face. It was the third time she had tried to apologize in ten minutes and, in spite of himself, he was becoming more amused than upset. Stopping in the center of the trail they had made into the unfamiliar woods, he turned to her, his face a purposeful mask of impassivity, hiding the fact that he felt as if he had just used her in a most unspeakable manner while lost in the darker realm of his own psyche, though she had made no such complaint; had simply let her skirt fall back into place when he pulled away at last, not daring to meet her wide, pained gaze as he hastily made his own readjustments. His eyes held her's for a long moment.
"Quit apologizing, Abby. It ain't the least bit becoming to you," he said softly, his eyes deep pools of limpidity despite the lack of expression on his face. "I have a few questions. We might as well air them now." Uneasy curiosity showed in her eyes and he nodded, taking a deep breath.
"First off, did you mean that McKell's mother was our own cousin?"
"Aye. Her real name was Rhianna, not Angel."
Micah's face flushed with feeling, then paled with fearful concern. "Kiah. You said he raped her, how do you know?"
Ailill met his gaze warily. "She said that she believed it was him, because of the resemblance to her own father. And I saw that she was correct in a dream, after. Was proof, ye ken, that it was not Jacob who had abused the lass, though I didn't know when she said it that the screaming was her own pleasure at the time; I understand clearly now, however. It is different... amongst the Chosen. We tend to express ourselves much more... er, strongly, than most. It is only right and proper for you to understand, however, that the bairn was growing in her mother before Rhianna ever got here. I don't know for certain if the Lost Prince still lives, I couldn't get even a small sense of him when last I tried. But it appears that he is the real father. Not Jacob, and notKiah. I am sorry. That is all I know." Her eyes gleamed with the knowledge so recently understood, though she was frowning. The combination made her look rather fierce.
"Her own brother?
" Rather than be sickened by such a discovery, he was filled with pity for the unfortunate Angel. Nothing but circumstance could have led to such a union, he was sure. He looked at her with unhappy expectation; the baby had truly taken the place of a daughter in his heart, and now he had to worry that she might grow up without all of the intelligence she would have had if her blood was divided properly. "Will McKell be messed up by it?"
"I don't believe so," Ailill answered vaguely. "She doesn't show signs that anything is amiss right now," she added in explanation, seeing his doubt. "And I honestly believe that she won't as she grows. McKell is a strong wee bairn, and it does take a bit o' brain-power to overcome so many obstacles as she has already. The reason I must leave again so soon is that I have begun a search, for the father of the bairn. I shall be meeting with a man I know, a Druid who might be able to steer me in a better direction than I would go from here, with no information whatsoever."
"So you'll be leaving after all." Forehead creased in a frown, Micah met her eye evenly. "For how long this time, Abby?"
"No more than a few days, Micah. I should be back before my cousin comes, aye?"
"Aye," he repeated doubtfully. "So, no dangerous battles this time? No need to worry that you'll return in a body bag?"
Surprised at this revelation, Ailill flashed a small smile."Nay. It will be an information gathering trek only. Micah, this is for the good of the bairn, naught else. Other than that, I do not believe you've much to worry about. Understand?"
Satisfied with her answer, for now, Micah nodded. His expression changed suddenly, and he looked at her hard. "Do you really believe that Jacob and I are so very...mmm, close?" Even after all she had said, all she had accused them of, Micah still could not bring himself to say such things aloud though, deep down, he wanted to scream at her that she could not be more wrong. He could not. He had pride, after all.
Hidden Jewel (Heartfire Series) Page 33