“I wasn’t bored. I was talking to Ben. Now,” I said, handing him back the drink, “I’m going to swim. See how much fun I’m having?”
I slipped off my clothes that were over my suit, awkwardly aware that Sean watched me while he sipped the drink instead of going away.
He waited until I was halfway in the pool before he said, “Sounds good,” then peeled off his shirt, tossing it on top of mine. He dove in, narrowly missing people as I finished sliding into the water. I choked when he came up right beside me, treading water without any apparent effort.
I tried not to look at him, but I kept bumping against him as I struggled to stay afloat. Finally I swam back to the edge, pushing through bodies until I finally could pull myself out. I headed, dripping, for the pile of clothes beside the aquarium ready to change and bail.
“Leaving already?” He was right behind me. Did he not remember telling me that we weren’t going to see each other anymore and then the past month and a half we hadn’t, to our mutual happiness and joy? He sounded like the concerned host, but his eyes were mocking.
“What’s your problem?” I was so done with his games.
“Problem?”
I glared at him. “Go play concerned host to somebody else. I know that you love to irritate me, but right now, I want to actually have a not horrible time for my New Year’s Eve, okay? Why don’t you go find Bernice and bring in the New Year together?”
“Bernice?” He looked confused as he bent down, retrieving the orange drink before he began drinking it again.
“Yeah, you know, the girl on your swim team that used to be a friend of mine. And what’s with people who can swim and drink at the same time?”
He blinked at me. “I know Bernice, but I think she’s interested in Ben. As for the other thing…” He shrugged. “It’s a skill beyond me. Maybe we could practice together. We could start in the hot-tub, sitting instead of floating. What do you think?”
I stared at him. “I don’t get you. Are you flirting with me?”
He looked at me with a frown. “Apparently not. I think that I was trying to flirt with you, but that’s not the same thing.” We frowned at each other for a few minutes, both of us dripping.
“Come to my room,” he finally said. “I’ll explain.” His voice was different, softer but more dangerous.
I shivered as I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’ll explain why you’re trying to flirt with me? You could do that here.”
He smiled at me, a smile that unfolded slowly.
“All right. This song, do you remember it?” I listened and smiled as the strange melody, the darkness and the intensity built. It was the music from his car during the date with his mother. “If you dance with me, I’ll give you the entire album. It’s not something you can download or find at your music store.”
I hesitated too long. He took my hand, leading me not to the middle of the crowd, but into an alcove that was darker, less populated.
I felt weird when he put his hands on my hips with only the thin fabric of my wet swimming suit between us, weirder when I put my hands on his slick shoulders and we started moving more or less to the beat. I really wanted this music and a dance wouldn’t kill me, even if my heart pounded and I had to remind myself to take even, calm breaths.
He reached up and pulled my hand down onto his hip, which was weird, but not too weird, I mean, hips were pretty safe places, relatively, at least I felt that way until the pressure of his hand pushed mine into his skin, through the place where skin should cover bone, but instead covered nothing. I jerked back while he watched my reaction.
“What the…Your shorts…” I could see the fabric folded behind his skin in a way that just wasn’t normal. He casually pulled it out, like a hip wedgie then put his hands back on my hips and back to dancing like nothing had happened.
I stared at his face, the way he looked at me without any expression at all and I tried to act normal. Maybe he had a deformity that would explain everything about him, why he kept away from relationships, that sort of thing.
“What was that?” I asked, proud that my voice didn’t shake, at least very much.
He cocked his head to the side. “Do you want to see?”
I shook my head quickly. “No, of course not. I’m just worried. Are you okay?”
He looked down, not answering my question.
“Sean?” I put a hand on his face and he looked up, quickly, reminding me of the time at the bottom of the pool. I swallowed and tried to pull away, but he had his hand over mine, keeping it there against his cheek.
“Come on, Gen. I think it’s time.”
I followed him as he led me through the crowds, up the stairs, down a hall and then into a room, shutting the door behind him.
Chapter 26
He leaned against the door while I stood there, feeling more idiotic than usual. It was his bedroom, I realized. If I’d thought about it at all, which I hadn’t, at least much, I would have expected his room to be clean and cold like him, but instead it was a mess of laundry and books strewn around.
He put his hands on his waistband and began pushing his black swim shorts down, over his hips.
“Wait,” I said, gripping his large hands in mine. “You don’t have to do this. I mean, obviously, this is really personal and I don’t think you’re wearing anything under those shorts. I can’t handle that much nudity. Okay? I don’t want to insult you by freaking out, but I’ve never seen a naked guy, and I’m already pretty much freaking out.”
“I actually noticed,” he said with the faint smile that was probably genuine. “Hand me that towel. Would my towel covered body be too much for you?”
For someone with a disability, he really acted cocky. It was probably the chiseled cheekbones that made him such a jerk. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the towel, relieved when he didn’t try to take anything off until he had it firmly tied around his narrow waist, narrow waist and exercise video abs, with arms and shoulders that looked capable of anything. I forced my eyes back to his face where he was shaking his head at me. Right. We all knew he was hot; I had to get over it.
“This is it,” he said, turning to the side. The stretch of skin from his waist ended at three rows of slits where his skin should have been. I forgot about hotness as I slide my hand over the silky skin to touch the line, gasping when it opened and closed, fluttering like a butterfly, or something else insanely cool.
“It’s like a gill,” I whispered as I traced the lines with my fingers, feeling my breath catch in my throat as they ruffled under my hand.
“Very like, in fact, identical. Would you like to see the matching set?” I stared at him, leaving my fingers on his ‘gills’, feeling light-headed and dizzy.
“Matching set? Of gills?”
He sighed and pulled my hands to the other hip, placing it over his other ‘gills’, where they pulsed under my hand. My fingers accidentally slipped inside one of the gaps. I blinked as I felt the soft warmth and sliminess coat my fingers. I jerked my hand back.
“I’m sorry. Did that hurt?”
He didn’t answer right away. I couldn’t see his face because mine was right up to his muscular chest, so close that I could see the golden hairs sprinkled across the chest, with my hands on his naked hips and nothing but a towel, a towel that as far as I could see had nothing holding it up but me where I leaned against him.
“It’s just weird,” he said.
I almost laughed at that. Like me touching his gills was weirder for him than me. I ran my fingers along the edges, sliding inside them slightly probing but hopefully gentle enough that it didn’t hurt him. They pulsed against my palms, like live creatures.
He put his hands on my legs, right below my swimming suit. I didn’t mind, not when I was feeling so unsteady, like I might pass out at any moment, but then he slid his hands up, fingers finding their way beneath my suit that made me pull away.
“What are you doing?” It was like he was groping me, but this was Sean.
He held the towel in front, but the rest was bare, bare from head to toe with tan, muscular perfection and gills in between. I fumbled backwards for a wall to lean on but found the bed instead. I flopped down on it still unable to take my eyes off of him, the gills, mostly the gills but also, holy hotness. The picture beside his trophy in school did not do him justice.
“So that explains it,” I said, mostly to myself as I clenched my fists into his blue duvet. “You have this… thing, and it makes you feel like you’re different, maybe like you are part fish, and that’s why you won’t let girls get close to you, and why Oliver wants you, to do experiments or put in a circus, something. It explains everything.”
He blinked his blue eyes at me, the same color as the duvet. “Does it?”
“Some people are born with extra toes. You have these gills. You’re not a freak, though,” I said hurriedly, leaning forward to touch his arm, his tan arm, corded with muscles. “They’re amazing. You’re incredible. Don’t let one small abnormality get in the way of the rest of your life.”
“That’s… touching. Honestly, Genevieve,” he said with an icy look that had me pulling my fingers back. “I did not bring you here so that you can validate me in my insecurities.”
I blinked at him, startled by his harsh tone. “Right. Sorry for thinking for a second that you might feel like an outsider from having non operable gills. My mistake.” I stood up then sat back down when I got dizzy. I leaned on my knees, putting my head in my hands until I could get it together enough to get out of there. “So, why am I here?”
“I need to check you for gills.”
I looked up, slowly. There was no way he’d said what I’d thought he’d said.
“I don’t have gills.”
He was standing over me with his massive arms crossed over his massive chest while a not so massive towel covered the bits right in front of my face. “Show me.”
“No.”
He smiled slightly. “I have another album that you would…”
“No,” I said as I stood, still dizzy but managing to stand on my own. “You’re not buying me with more music, however incredible it is, which I’m sure it is because your taste is… We’re not talking about your music. I’m not taking off Bernice’s swimsuit in your room.”
He curled his lip. “You think that I’m trying to get you naked?” Oh, the contempt. “You’re a crazy human, if that’s what you are. You fit into that world less than I do.”
“Oh, really?” I sputtered, but I had no idea what to do with this kind of attack. “Just because you have one small, okay two, gills, doesn’t mean you’re not human. Fine. I’ll do it, but only if you rip one of your shirts up the sides so that I’m mostly…”
I didn’t finish saying it when he grabbed a folded shirt from the top of a basket and ripped it with his teeth before he tore a strip from the hem up to the sleeve. He did the other side while I watched then handed it to me, turning his back to me while I stood, holding the ruined shirt in my fist. I’d never thought I’d live to see the day when Captain Sean ripped a shirt of his own free will.
“Go ahead then,” he said in that cold voice that matched his eyes.
I gritted my teeth and yanked the shirt over my head before pulling off the swimming suit. When it was around my ankles he turned around again while I was sliding my hands through the sleeves. I forced myself to hold still while he touched my skin. If I’d thought it was weird touching him it was nothing compared to his hands, butterfly soft on my skin as he searched every inch from my ribs to my knees. He ran his hands over me again using a little more pressure while I bit my lip and clenched my fists, telling myself that it was fine, that nothing was going on there, he was just checking me for gills, then he used his nails. He didn’t scratch my skin, but the feel gave me shivers and made me want to hang onto something.
He exhaled and I could feel his breath on my skin. When I looked, he was searching my skin with his eyes while his hands slid down, squeezing and pulling, a bit like a massage until his nose brushed my leg. I gasped then backed away from him, once more hitting the bed. This time when I went down, I landed on my back and couldn’t get back up because he followed me down, his hands on either side of my face.
“My mother would kill you. Oliver would too, only quicker.” He frowned at me, so close that I could see the striations of his eyes.
“You’re not them.” I was too stunned to be freaking out. I’d freak out later when he wasn’t on top of me.
He blinked at me while that slight smile flashed over his lips. His lips did not look cold and fish-like. “You have to promise that you won’t reveal what you saw to anyone, ever, for as long as you live.”
That pissed me off. “Like I was going to. Look, Captain Hotness is actually a psychotic fish boy. What would I get out of that?” I wiggled but he only leaned more of his weight on top of me. His weight included skin, lots and lots of bare skin. Not that I noticed. I was too busy being pissed. And breathing.
“Not to Flop, Junie, anyone.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I got that was part of the anyone, ever for as long as I live.”
He was too heavy. My breathing was becoming more and more shallow while familiar black spots danced on the edge of my vision.
“Or you can stay there and suffocate me, then you wouldn’t have to worry about me running around and announcing you as the swim fraud you are. Don’t you think it’s unethical to be on a swim team when you have gills? Oh, right, they’re non-functioning, aren’t they? They kind of moved a lot to be non-functional. Does the chlorine bother them? What would you have done if I had gills?” My words came out in gasps until everything disappeared.
“I’m not that heavy,” he said when I finally blinked my eyes open. I turned my head and found him lying beside me, leaning on one elbow while he looked down at me with one raised golden eyebrow.
“You are too,” I said, poking him in the ribs. He still didn’t have a shirt on and poking him in the ribs was a moot point since he had too many muscles for his ribs to be even slightly visible. That much muscle was freakish, come to think of it. It made total sense that he wasn’t human.
“What was I saying? Oh, right. Your mother was going to kill me?”
He shook his head and sat up. “I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did,” I said, sitting up and realizing that he’d put a blanket over me. Hopefully before he’d seen too much. “Does she have gills or is she afraid someone’s going to lock you up and wants to protect you? That actually sounds more maternal than I’d given her credit for.”
“She’s Vashni. She, and those like her, have gills like mine. My father, a Soremni, was exiled after he removed the king’s eye. It’s a long story. Anyway, Oliver thought that you were Vashni, like my mother. He thought that you were trying to seduce me, to make sure that I wouldn’t find my sympathies aligning more with the Soremni than the Vashni. Why else would we both find you so fascinating? Why else would the two of you be affected by the kiss of madness? We can’t breed with humans. We don’t look at them like that, at least not typically. You’re different. There’s a gravity to you, like the way you feel about the lake. But, you have no gills. Are you still breathing?”
I blinked and realized that no, I hadn’t been breathing. I took big, gulping breaths as I tried to process.
“You’re not human?”
He shrugged. “No.”
“You can’t breed with humans?”
He shook his head. My eyes wandered down to his towel, to the bit between his gills.
“So, how do you breed?”’
His laugh turned into a cough. “That’s what you want to know?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I finally convinced myself that the monster at the lake wasn’t real, and now…” I stared at him. He looked human, except for his abundance of hotness. I should have known. So, if he wasn’t human, why did all girls find him so hot? It really shouldn’t only go one way.
“You saw something a
t the lake?”
His frown made me stop staring at his chest. Good thing.
“What? No. It was a hallucination. Didn’t I say that?”
He sighed. “When did you have your hallucination?”
I scowled. “It wasn’t memorable enough for me to say.”
“You’re really stubborn about this. It was…” He raised his golden eyebrows at me. “That’s what you wanted to talk to me about the night of the party. Why didn’t you?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to keep you from Bernice. So, why do you touch her if humans are so repulsive to you?”
“I don’t touch her.”
“Yes you…”
“What did you see at the lake?” He stared at me with those eyes, so demanding, cold and emotionless.
We both heard the knock on the door right before Junie threw it open. She stared at us, while Bernice, Brenda and Flop stood behind her, staring with mouths open. Bernice’s eyes flashed as she glared at me, like she would get me for my betrayal.
Junie said, “Sorry, I was going to find you and tell you I’m with Tuba. I’m his girlfriend. Right before the New Year so I can fulfill my whole list, no, that’s not why I’m with him, but because he’s… Anyway, you guys are busy so…” She slammed the door, leaving me with Sean. Me in his ripped shirt in his bed and him in a towel. Awesome.
I buried my head beneath his fluffy pillow, moaning and feeling like I was going to throw up. If I threw up in his bed that would completely serve him right. He wasn’t even human. I would lose whatever reputation I had over a non-human who couldn’t breed with me if he wanted to. Not that he wanted to. Who says breed anyway? Oh, non-humans apparently. Ugh. I was going to die or worse, not die and then what? Nothing, that’s what. My life was over, ended, over, ended…
“It’s not that bad,” he said pulling the pillow off my head. “You’re not going to die. We’ll simply tell people we’re back together and then…”
“No.” I sat up, pushing against his ridiculously muscular chest for no apparent reason because he didn’t budge. “I am not going to pretend to date you ever again. The next person I pretend to date is going to be human, okay? I need a drink. A serious drink without an umbrella. Don’t pretend you care about your reputation. Now people will think you’re human and that I’m a slut, so we can both be totally happy.” I put my head in my hands. “I’m going to die.”
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