by Christa Wick
I wasn't going to lend any credence to his alpha remark by telling him how very wrong he was on that point. One couldn't be an alpha without shifting and holding the middle state. I could do neither.
"Not happening," he answered, his free hand coming up to brush some of the hair from my face.
Meeting his gaze, I tried not to think about how our bodies were molding together or how good he smelled with the day's cares freshly washed from his skin.
Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against mine and held it there as he spoke.
"I'm not your family, Onyx. I'm not going to fail you and I sure as fuck am not going to abandon you. I'm not even going to let you drive me away until I know you'll be safe without me."
Chewing at my lip, I started to squirm beneath him, his vow sinking into my skin like razors. I wanted him to mean what he was saying, to believe that at that moment he actually did. But everyone eventually failed me, even those who had once claimed to love me.
And if he was true to his word -- I would be his ruin.
So I had to get away and he wasn't going to entertain the idea until I could shift.
I squeezed his hand. "How are you going to help me shift?"
Taron rolled to one side and settled on his back. "Straddle me."
I coughed, shock rattling around inside my chest. Had he just ordered me to mount him?
He rolled his eyes then offered up a snort. "Don't be a prude. We're both dressed."
I plucked at his towel, my bottom lip jutting out to one side in contradiction of his claim.
"Close enough," he laughed. "Just give it a try. You can stop if it gets uncomfortable."
Beautiful, dumb male -- it already was uncomfortable!
Huffing my doubt and reservations, I climbed onto Taron, my weight settling mostly on my knees so that I hovered over his groin without putting any pressure on him. His hands wrapped around my hips and pulled me down, then remained there so that I couldn't readily lift up.
"Put your palms on my chest."
We were way, way past my comfort level but I obeyed.
"Close your eyes."
"Come on, bear, I'm not that stupid!"
His gold-brown gaze danced with mischief for a second before sobering. "Just go with it. You'll know when it's time for you to open your eyes. Until then, keeping them closed will help you feel what I want you to feel."
Hoping that unnamed thing he wanted me to feel wasn't the cock growing hard against my mound, I obeyed him and closed my eyes.
"Open your mind," he softly suggested. "I want you to feel with every last pore of your skin."
I wiggled against him, my clothes suddenly feeling like they were filled with fire ants.
"Shh," he whispered, his hands leaving my hips to rub against my arms. He touched my shoulders. "Feel it here, first."
His heat penetrated my body, the sensation concentrated where his fingers touched me. The warmth turned to tingling as he ran his hands back down to where my palms rested against his broad chest.
"Now here." He lifted them, kept them captured gently with his own then spread his arms out, the maneuver forcing my torso down so that my breasts pressed against him.
A breath quivered past my lips, but I kept my eyes closed. A smile played at my mouth as I remembered the old records my grandmother had played.
Marvin Gaye, Midnight Love, Track 2 -- (Sexual) Healing
Would it really make things worse if I let this happen one time, if I let the big bear I had my legs wrapped around seduce me? I relaxed into the idea, my body melting against his, holding him and held by him yet floating.
That's when I opened my eyes and saw my hand.
"What the fuck!" I screamed and rolled off the bed, my left hand shifting back to human form just in time to keep me from slamming hard onto the wooden floor.
Propping himself up on an elbow, Taron stared down at me, a satisfied smile on his face.
"I figure your body has been driving out the rest of the human DNA from the transfusion over the last few months. It explains what happened in the hotel, your coming into heat, the way the scent of your estrus has changed since just last night, and how you walloped the shit out of Landa."
"I didn't mean to hurt her like that," I said, my hands rubbing against one another in disbelief then smoothing over my arms and down my legs to make sure there wasn't some other part of me that had shifted without shifting back.
"The healing sessions helped speed it along," he continued. "But your mind has forgotten how to manage the transformation. That's why I was pushing my alpha at yours."
"Uh-huh," I said, only half listening as I finished inventorying my limbs and making sure they were normal.
"Wait, what did you say? My alpha?"
"What did you think I meant this morning when I said most of the males in my pack wouldn't be able to handle you once you were fully healed?"
I stared at him, first in dumb disbelief then with a sort of vague hazy appreciation of the fact that his towel had fallen open.
"Dude! Put that thing away!" I jerked a hand up to shield my eyes, knowing deep down I'd never summon the willpower to close them.
"You put it away," he teased, tossing the towel at me so that it knocked my hand to the side. "This is how I sleep. With a guest or without."
"Then get under the damn quilt!"
Chuckling, he ignored my strident demand and rolled onto his back. He folded his hands behind his neck and stared at the ceiling, his entire body on display for my appreciation.
Damn...damn...damn...
He was fine as hell.
And I didn't know the first thing I was supposed to do with a naked, willing man.
But I knew I wanted to learn.
********************
Taking the towel into the bathroom and hanging it to dry, I tried to process the fact that Taron was offering himself to me.
The only thing I knew for certain was that I was swimming in deep water. The Woodsmen didn't seem to have any kind of formal courtship approved -- if not arranged -- by the pack leader. Sure, some of the wolves in my father's pack had random hookups, but neither part had a claim to the other and such liaisons never occurred during estrus. Mating and official bonding were very political.
Here? Not so much.
I returned to the side of the bed, standing with one hip against the footboard. He had graciously closed his eyes so I could study his perfect form as much as I wanted. There was a lot to look at. He had maintained his erection, the thick shaft nesting against golden brown hair and the fat crown covering his navel.
Releasing a hot puff of air, I took a few steps forward then braced a knee on the mattress, leaving one foot firmly planted on the ground because I was not yet ready to commit to his proposition. I wasn't even sure what his proposition was. Was he looking for a hook-up or what passed for a social contract around these parts?
His back arched just the slightest, the rippled muscles of his abdomen pushing up at his cock while the skin on the shaft seemed to contract and lift it even higher.
More daring than I could imagine myself ever being, I molded my palm and fingers along the shaft but couldn't cover it.
"My pack leader--"
"Your father," he corrected, eyes still closed.
"Yeah, but he stopped being that a long time ago." A smart ass smile frosted my lips for a second as I remembered all the hell I would catch from my parents by referring to them, even in private family settings, as Pack Leader and Mrs. Pack Leader.
"Anyway, I wasn't allowed to interact with humans after the accident without an adult shifter with me."
"They thought you might go over to the other side and betray your own species?"
"Yes." I glanced up to his face to see his eyes were still closed. I kind of liked this way of communicating -- him naked and his gaze masked so I couldn't see him judging me even as I judged him.
I ran a nail lightly along the inside of his thigh and watched him vibrate.
Yeah -- I could definitely get used to something like this.
Provided it was with someone like Taron, even if I didn't have him figured out yet.
"That meant no Internet without adults monitoring me, either," I continued, my fingers tracing the grid of stomach muscles.
His eyes opened for the first time since I'd left the bathroom.
"Are you trying to tell me you've never seen a man naked, not even a picture?"
"Not like this," I explained. "Just what might flash on screen for a few seconds in an R rated movie."
One golden brown brow lifted incredulously. "Were there no single male shifters in your pack?"
"There were plenty," I answered, my hand retreating to my side. "Just not any who were willing to risk getting cooties from a former she-wolf who had never come into heat."
Uncomfortable discussing my defect, I started to take a side-step away from the bed but he caught my wrist.
"You don't want to walk away, Onyx. Be honest with yourself on that."
I met his gaze. The irises had melted to a dark honey color. Sliding onto the bed, I straddled him as I had earlier and placed my palms against the warm, lightly furred skin of his chest.
"If we do something tonight, what does that mean?"
He smiled, his lips bending in a way that was both amused and contemplative.
"Hopefully it means we both have a very pleasurable time."
"Granted." I laughed, but I couldn't find the humor -- not when I didn't know how much or how little was at stake.
"But I don't understand this 'claiming' business." My hands moved down to his stomach and the protrusion of his cock from where I straddled him. I let my thumbs play over the tip and watched his expression turn hot and epileptic. "You said I can leave Night Falls, but you announced to your pack that I am yours."
Taron captured my hands and drew them up to his chest, holding them gently so I couldn't tease his flesh.
"Bears aren't pack animals," he started. "We eat diplomats and politicians for dinner..."
"So, basically, you're not very popular as pack alpha?'" This time my laugh was genuine. For someone with an aversion for diplomacy, he was using a lot of words to get to his point.
"Among a sufficiently large minority, yes."
I bobbed my head, my teeth busy worrying the inside of my bottom lip for a few seconds.
"Did they call for a no confidence vote?"
He nodded.
"Right before Landa turned psycho-cat on me?"
"Yeah," he answered, gaze dropping for a second.
I ignored the very real possibility he was lying about what had set her off.
"But you're still pack leader and president of the Woodsmen, right?"
Another nod.
"But not if the she-wolf you stood up for runs off." I wasn't asking, and I knew by the grim line that flattened his mouth that my statement was true.
"The pack would suffer if it had someone like Mallory or Joshua running it," I said, freeing my hands from his grip. I leaned over him, my elbows propped on the mattress and my breasts lightly pushing at his chest.
"The storm will pass," he said, his hands curling around my hips to lock against the small of my back. "When it does, you can leave -- if that's what you want. In the meantime, you'll have my protection and that of the pack."
Letting my body sink against his, I tangled my fingers in his thick hair and pressed my face against his neck. He had answered my questions, even the ones I hadn't directly asked. This was a hook-up, a pleasurable way to pass the time while all the trouble I'd innocently stirred up settled. And I'd have a safe haven to figure out what I was going to do next.
"Just one last problem," I said. "I don't know what to do with a naked man."
I giggled. The thought would strike me later that night that more than a decade had passed since the sound had last bubbled up from me, but at that moment, I giggled and it felt amazing.
"Neither do I," he quipped, quickly reversing our positions with an expert flip that had me on my back and trapped beneath him. "But I know exactly what to do with a naked woman."
I released a slow, nervous breath as he grabbed my shirt's hem and began to ease the fabric up over my stomach. Catching me slowly gnawing through my bottom lip, he stopped and slid off to the side to lay next to me.
His finger stroked at my lip until I ceased chewing. Then he coaxed me to roll far enough that I faced him. His hand landed lightly on my hip and slid up under the shirt. He scooted a little closer, his hand maneuvering so that his palm was against my back and his thumb rubbed soothingly along my spine.
Taron's touch had a drugging effect -- from that very first point of contact and growing stronger each time his flesh met mine. My lids grew heavy. For a few irrational seconds, I thought I might be just as satisfied if I merely napped in the circle of his arms, snuggled up against the soft matting of hair that covered his chest.
"You're not using some form of alpha energy rohypnol on me, are you?" I half-teased.
He cinched me closer, his gaze dancing as he poked me back. "I don't think a she-wolf broadcasting pheromones for a good mile or more gets to ask that question."
I blushed, innocent but guilty as charged. I forced myself to let out the air I kept holding hostage in my lungs, my body shaking as my breath escaped.
Something flashed across his face and he pulled away. I caught him before he could open any real distance between us, my nails all but embedding in the skin and muscle of his thick bicep.
"I want this, even if I'm also on the verge of freaking out."
I let go of his arm before I drew blood. I rubbed at my cheek, patted it rhythmically in an attempt to calm down.
"Why don't we try this." He caught my hand, drew it toward him and kissed my palm. "You let me undress you."
I started a nod but he stopped me with a warning look.
"I'm going to be touching you quite intimately when I take your clothes off, Onyx."
"Okay," I answered, a little less eager to agree as fresh fear washed through me. I trusted that Taron wouldn't hurt me, not intentionally and not in any way physically that my body wouldn't recover. But walled up most of my life, I really was a babe in the woods.
For a shifter, any wounds that would remain from our joining were those that scarred the heart.
"You're going to get nervous--"
A barking laugh erupted past my lips. I slapped my hand over my mouth to stifle it. Slowly I pulled the hand away, uncertain whether another one was waiting to break free.
"You think?" I jabbed.
"You'll want me to go slow at times or pause for a breather."
He expected me to breathe during this? That was going to be a problem because I kept sucking air in and forgetting to let it out.
"Yeah," I agreed and slowly exhaled.
"When you say 'slow' or 'not yet,' I'll slow down or otherwise ease off, same if you say 'no.'"
I felt my eyes go wide at the implication.
No didn't mean no...
"When you really want me to stop, you're going to say something else."
I waited for him to tell me what that something else was. When he just lifted his brows and said nothing, it dawned on me.
"A safe word?" I choked out. Groaning, I twisted enough that I could bury my face in the pillow. I was either going to bust a rib laughing or pass out from nerves.
When I felt relatively certain I could contain myself from performing either act, I snuck a peek at him with one eye then turned my face back into the pillow as I asked him a question.
"You're not tying me up, are you?"
"Mumble, mumble, what?" he asked, and gave a light poke to the side of my ribs. At his touch, I instinctively jumped to the far side of the bed like a spooked cat.
He dragged me back and held me tight so I couldn't even hide.
"I heard my parents negotiating when that Shades book was all the rage." I grimaced, my stomach suddenly churning at the id
ea of my parents having sex -- especially THAT kind of sex.
"Baby," he growled and nuzzled my ear. "I don't need to tie women up to drive them out of their mind. And no blindfolds because I will be looking in your eyes when I make you come."
"Honeycomb!" I blurted, the brush of his stubbly chin against my neck and his hot breath erasing my newest bout of temerity.
Taron pulled away, studied my face for a second then broke into a wide grin. Pulling me into a sitting position, he quickly stripped my top off, leaving the bra in place. Then he pushed me onto my back, his grin growing even wider as he pushed my legs apart and settled into the valley between them.
"Prepare yourself she-wolf." He thumbed open the button on my jeans then slowly drew the zipper down, his eyelids moving in long, sweeping blinks before he nailed me with his molten gaze.
"I'm about to show you the true meaning of honeycomb."
********************
Taron teased my jeans down an inch. He slid against me, his massive chest pushing at my mound as he kissed a slow sucking line from hip to hip.
Another inch lower and he exposed the pure black of my pubic hair. He stopped again, a low growl vibrating through his lips as he inhaled my scent, his nose and mouth stroking at the thick silk.
"I thought I was going to go mad last night smelling you like this."
I mashed my lips together to keep silent. The time for questioning him was over -- even if I couldn't keep my head from coming up with new things I wanted to ask.
"You're not thinking again, are you, baby?"
"Sorry," I confessed.
He chuckled then used his pressed lips to tug at my hair. "If you're thinking, then I'm doing this wrong."
He looked up as he spoke, the golden gaze challenging me to agree with him. I shook my head. Taron was doing everything right. The tremble infecting my limbs and torso should have told him so.
"I can do better," he promised, sliding lower and peeling the jeans all the way down to the top bend of my thigh.
Seeing my mound fully exposed, he licked his lips.
"I'm thinking this no panty situation should become law."
I laughed. It had felt weird going commando all day, especially knowing I was in heat and wanting to do everything I could to muffle the smell -- even if the pheromones emanated from every pore on my body.