“I don’t really like dirty things.”
“And yet you live in New York City,” Zack laughed.
“I resent that,” Jen told him. “New York is very beautiful, even if some areas aren’t always clean.”
“Nor is the air,” Zack reminded her.
“I’m not talking about the air Zack. I’m talking about straight up dirt under my shoes and smoke in my eyes and bugs and wild animals. What if we get attacked by wolves?”
Zack pulled a flat metal thing and a backpack from the truck bed. “There aren’t any wolves out here sweetheart.”
Jen felt a slight annoyance. He’s using pet names now? Zack walked back to the fire with the supplies. She decided to try and enjoy the evening despite it being a little out of her comfort zone. She sat down on the log, brushing it off first to make sure there were no spiders or other creatures on it.
“You should have told me we were coming out here.”
“You wouldn’t have said yes if I had told you.”
She knew that was true so she just ignored it. She rubbed her bare arms up and down. It was past nine o’clock now and the sun was all but gone. “At least I would have known to bring a jacket,” she said quietly, almost to herself.
Zack turned to his backpack and pulled out a jacket; his jacket. Without a word he walked behind her and placed it around her shoulders. His hands lingered on her arms. “If I had told you to bring a jacket, I wouldn’t have been able to give you mine,” he whispered behind her.
Jen shifted as tingles from his warm breath by her ear traveled down her spine. Zack returned to the ice chest and pulled out a beer. He popped off the cap and handed it to her. She accepted without a word. As she sipped she pulled the jacket a little tighter. It smelled like him and she discreetly breathed in the scent. Zack LaFaye may end up being a serial killer, con artist and plain old pain in the butt, but damn, he sure did smell good. A few minutes passed before Zack finally spoke.
“Do you like brats?”
“Excuse me?”
“Brats, like bratwurst?” He held up a package.
“Oh yeah, hot dogs? They’re ok.”
“They aren’t hot dogs, these are turkey sausage bratwurst. So much better than a hot dog.” He opened the package and stuck one on the end of a metal poker stick. He handed it to Jen.
“What am I supposed to do with it?” she asked, feeling sheepish.
“You’re supposed to cook it over the fire.” He put another on his stick and moved to sit next to her on the log. He lowered his brat over the fire and sighed as he got comfortable. Jen mimicked his motion and they sat there in silence, listening to the fire crackle. Every couple minutes Zack would pull his brat up, look at it, then put it back.
“So this is how you cook a wiener huh?” Jen asked.
“Have you never cooked anything over an open fire either?”
Jen shook her head.
“I figured as much. I wanted to do something you’ve never done before. I made a guess and it turns out I was right.” He grinned at her and for the first time, Jen felt herself start to relax. The next hour went by without a hitch as they chatted and roasted their dinner over the open fire. Jen got to taste her first bratwurst and to her surprise, she really enjoyed it. As the night wore on Zack packed up the ice chest and put it back in the truck. When he returned to the fire he was wearing a jacket.
“You brought two jackets?” Jen asked.
“Yeah, it gets kind of chilly out here at night.”
“Looks like you were prepared.”
Zack took a sip of his beer. “I’m always prepared. That’s what they teach you in boy scouts, always be prepared.”
“You were a boy scout?” Jen asked.
“Nah, I wasn’t but that’s what I hear.” He smiled at her and the fire reflected in his dark eyes.
“You strike me as a boy-scout-kinda-guy,” Jen told him and he laughed.
“I wanted to but we really weren’t in a position to do those kinds of things. I worked a lot after my dad died. I had to help provide for my mom and Annie.”
“I know how hard it can be growing up without a parent,” Jen said, and then paused. Zack looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “I don’t remember my mother much. Only a few scattered memories of how she looked.”
Zack nodded thoughtfully, “I was fortunate that I had a mother like mine. She worked so hard.”
Jen bit her lip, “I bet it was hard when she died.”
Zack looked at her. “Yeah, it was.”
Jen felt the pain in his words and felt a pang of regret for judging him the way she had. He had been through a lot.
“We were fortunate that it was fairly quick. She didn’t have to suffer for too long. Aunt Gabby was a Godsend. When we moved here, she was the one that got us our house, helped us get into school and gave Annie and me jobs during the summer. She took care of my mom when times were tough and at times even paid our bills. She used to say that she would never have grandchildren so it was up to her to just adopt some. We were lucky enough to be the ones she picked.”
Zack looked up from the fire. “My mom loved this grove. The first time she saw it, she fell in love with it. She would come out here by herself at times just to think. We picnicked here a lot and we started calling it Mama’s Grove. The town picked up on it after her death and it unofficially became Helena’s Grove.”
“I wish I would have visited Aunt Gabby more back then,” Jen said quietly.
“So do I,” Zack said genuinely, and Jen felt touched by his sincerity. “I think we would have been really good friends growing up.” She looked at him and he glanced back at her, a sweet smile filling his lips.
“I’m amazed,” Jen began, “amazed that after going through so much, you and Annie are still so positive, so happy and full of life. You see the best in people and Annie is like syrup she’s so sweet.”
Zack laughed out loud. “Yeah, that’s a good way to describe her.” He poked the fire with a stick and Jen watched as beautiful glowing sparks flew into the sky and floated back to earth. “Annie doesn’t remember much about Dad, so for her it’s pretty much always been the three of us. But I remember what he was like, and I struggled a bit through high school – had some feelings of anger and stuff to deal with. But Aunt G was actually the one that helped me get over it. She told me not to waste any energy being angry; it didn’t do any good anyway cause’ it wouldn’t bring him back. So, even though it was hard, over the years I’ve been able to let it go. I can’t do anything to change what happened. I can just improve on the life I’ve known. He was a great guy and because of him, I’m determined to be a good person and a good father. So, I guess you could say he’s still teaching me something, even though he’s not here.”
Jen was silent. She wasn’t sure why Zack was telling her so much. She liked it but couldn’t help but feel that her life story was small and pathetic next to his. “You’re a really special person to be able to look at it that way, to be able to turn your hardships into strengths. It’s a very rare thing nowadays.”
Zack looked at her and smiled teasingly. “You don’t see many well rounded people in the New York Justice center?”
Jen laughed, “Unfortunately no, not many at all.”
“Except your dad, Aunt G speaks highly of him.”
Jen nodded, guilt making her stomach turn. “Aunt Gabby doesn’t know him like I do.”
Zack looked at her but didn’t press her for more. Instead he drew her attention to the sky. “Look,” he said pointing. “You can see so many constellations out here. That’s one of the reasons I love it so much. I feel like I can really think and breathe. Get away from the daily grind.”
“I can see why you like it, it’s really beautiful Zack.” She looked at him and their eyes locked.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” she whispered.
The side of Zack’s mouth pulled up into a smile. “Wasn’t too rugged for you?” he asked as he leaned in closer.
“Thanks for coming here with me tonight,” Zack said as he traced a finger along her jaw line.
Jen laughed a little. “I guess I should thank you for dragging me out here.”
“I told you surprises can be fun.”
“Yes you did,” Jen smiled. She leaned in and Zack kissed her again.
“It’s getting late,” he said at length. “We should probably be heading back.” Zack stood and began pushing dirt into the fire with his foot. He handed Jen the keys. “Go ahead and get in, I’ll be right there.”
Jen made her way to the truck and jumped in. She checked her phone; almost one o’clock in the morning! She couldn’t believe it was that late. It seemed like only an hour or so had passed since they got there.
Zack jumped in the truck and they started towards home. Their conversation was light and pretty soon they were pulling into Aunt Gabby’s driveway. Hand in hand they walked up the stone pathway to the door.
“I feel like I’m in the middle of a storybook,” Jen said as they stopped on the front porch.
“This town does have a fairy tale feel to it sometimes. I’m going to miss it… and you,” he said quietly as he leaned in and kissed her again. One hand reached to the nape of her neck as the other wrapped around her waist to bring her closer to him. It was deep and passionate and when they came apart they were both breathing hard. “Oh am I in trouble with you,” Zack’s low voice growled as he kissed her neck.
Jen could barely breathe. “Zack,” she said, trying to get a full breath, “what did you mean you are going to miss this place?”
Zack pulled back and looked at her. “You’re leaving in three weeks?”
She nodded.
“Well, so am I.”
“Where are you going?” she asked, curious.
“I’m going back to school.”
“School?” Jen said a little too loudly. She looked around and lowered her voice. “I didn’t know you were a student. Where are you going? What are you studying?”
Zack sighed heavily. “I’m a medical student at Harvard University.”
Jen sat stunned as she stared at Zack. “You’re kidding,” she stated flatly. “You’re a med student and you didn’t tell me?” She was completely and totally shocked.
“It’s not like I was trying to keep it from you, it just never came up. And this summer has been my first semester off in a few years so I was really just trying to enjoy it.”
“And you thought you’d get a little somethin’ on the side, is that it?” Jen asked, slightly offended.
“No, Jen come on. You know I’m not like that.” He put a few inches of space between them and suddenly Jen felt cold.
“How did you get into Harvard?” Jen was still in disbelief.
“Yale rejected me.”
Zack laughed at Jen’s dirty look. “I’m kidding,” he said as he put an arm around her. “When my mom got sick I decided to change my major to medicine. I had always been interested in it and I did really well in my classes. My teachers all liked me and one professor I had suggested I apply to Harvard. Obviously, I shrugged it off. There was no way they were going to accept a small town hick like me, plus it was way too much money. My mom thought I should go for it. She lit up at the thought of having me be a Harvard graduate. So I applied, for her sake. A few of my professors wrote some very nice letters of recommendation and next thing I knew, I was accepted, with a small scholarship to boot. I wanted to decline because of my mother’s condition but she wouldn’t hear of it. One day I found my mother and Aunt Gabby visiting in our living room. Aunt G asked me to sit down, and offered to pay for my schooling.” Zack stopped and looked at Jen, watching her for some kind of reaction. “Did you know that your aunt has money?”
In the three seconds it took Jen to answer, a million things went through her mind. One Mississippi, I’m a horrible, horrible person. I’ve completely misjudged him. I can’t tell him the truth, if I tell him that I knew about the money I’ll have to tell him everything! I’ll have to tell him that my father sent me out here to con his sister. But if I don’t tell him the truth that makes me a liar on top of everything else. The truth will come out eventually; I should just get it over with. The truth always comes out in the end. Two Mississippi, If I tell Zack then he will tell Aunt Gabby. I can’t bear that. I can’t handle seeing the hurt in my aunt’s eyes. And I know I’m in too deep with Zack to be able to bear the disappointment I will most certainly see in his. Three Mississippi, tell him the truth. Just do it, tell him the truth!
Jen looked into Zack’s face, those beautiful brown eyes. “I didn’t know.” It came out so soft she wasn’t sure if he even heard her.
Zack took a breath and continued, “Well she does. And I had no idea until then. I had known her for all those years and never had a clue. You know how private she is so it really wasn’t that surprising, but anyway, she offered to pay for my schooling. At first I told her no but it wasn’t any good. So at twenty-two I went off to Harvard to start pre med. My mom died three months later, five years ago this November. This summer semester is the first I’ve taken off in a couple years.”
Jen nodded, trying to take it all in.
“I know it’s a lot to process. And I’m sorry to say that when you first came here, I suspected that you knew about the money and that’s why you were here.”
Jen felt her heart shatter into a million pieces at his words.
“But then after some time I realized you probably didn’t. I misjudged you. I’m sorry for that. I guess I’m a little more protective of Aunt G than I need to be. Either way,” Zack continued, “that was then and this is now. I was wrong about you; you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.” He kissed her forehead softly, “and I’d really like to continue… whatever this is between us.”
There was a long pause; Jen couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “I should probably go in,” was all she could muster.
“Yeah I’m sorry it’s so late,” Zack apologized.
“It’s ok, I had a great time. I’m just really tired.” Jen tried to keep her voice even and controlled, but inside she was screaming.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“Umm, tomorrow isn’t actually good for me.” Jen put a hand to her forehead in a vain attempt to stop the oncoming headache.
“Ok,” Zack seemed to get a clue. “How about you call me then?” He kissed her cheek and walked back to his truck.
Jen didn’t watch him go. She got into the house and up to her room as quickly and silently as she could. She closed the door and leaned against it. Silent tears fell first but soon turned into sobs as she sank to the floor, her head in her hands; heart heavy with guilt and shame.
Chapter 14
Jen woke up early Sunday morning. The last couple days had been filled with fitful sleep and agonizing days. As Jen opened her eyes she felt, once again, the rock that had settled in the pit of her stomach; the gnawing, dreaded, sinking feeling that this whole affair had become. She couldn’t believe her life had come to this, manipulating people to get money in order to keep making money. Jen had grown up well off. She hadn’t known it when she was little, but once high school starts everyone know
s whose parents have money and whose do not. Life had been a money game from the time she was a teenager and she was getting sick of playing.
Jen had spent most of the day before on the phone with Roger, who all but commanded her to stick out the rest of the summer. She hadn’t done anything wrong, he had told her. She just got put in an awkward situation. Jen had listened but resented every word. Of course he could say that, he wasn’t the one that was here, dealing with everything. The more she talked to her father the more she realized that he had no sympathy for what she was going through, and that made her angry.
After lying in bed for almost two hours Jen decided to get up. She couldn’t lie there and think about how twisted her life had become any longer. She made her way down the stairs in her pajamas and sat down at the kitchen table, not even attempting to hide her gloom. Carmen meowed loudly outside the screen door. Normally, Jen would give her a little something to eat, but this morning she just watched her for a couple minutes before the orange cat got bored and walked away.
“Rough night?” Aunt Gabby asked as she came in through the sliding screen door. She had her sun hat on and was taking off her garden gloves.
“Yeah, I’m just not feeling very well,” Jen told her. At least that wasn’t a lie.
“Well cheer up girl!” Aunt Gabby sang. She put a hand on Jen’s shoulder. “It’s a beautiful day outside. Would you like to go on a morning walk?”
“No thank you, not today. I don’t really have the energy.”
“Well that’s the best time to go! But we don’t have to today,” she added quickly. She moved to the cupboard and began pulling things out. “I hardly saw ya’ yesterday,” she went on, “how was your date?”
“It was fine,” Jen remarked, not wanting to get into it but knowing she didn’t really have a choice. If there was one thing Aunt Gabby loved, it was a good juicy story.
“Oh come on now,” Aunt Gabby said as she cracked a couple eggs in the mixer, “give me more than that. I’m old. I need to live vicariously through you.”
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