by L. J. Smith
“Just goat’s blood. Cora said it was your favorite,” she said gently, again bringing the cup to my lips. This time, I drank, slowly, allowing the familiar liquid to run down my throat.
“Where’s Damon?” I finally croaked, pushing the cup away.
“He’s safe. He’s back at the Bedford house. I brought you to my house to heal.” A heavy silence fell between us as I realized the enormity of what she’d done. She’d saved me and invited me—a vampire—into her home. I didn’t know what to say.
“Why did you help?” I said finally.
“I realized I didn’t have much of a choice,” Lady Alice said. “Cora came running to me, begging me to intervene. She told me you all were in over your heads with Samuel. I eventually agreed, but by the time we got to the prime minister’s house, you were long gone. Luckily, I was able to do a locator spell.”
“But why now?”
“I had a talk with some wise witches, and I realized that if Samuel had his way, evil would win. And then I’d lose. I’d already lost Mary Jane. I knew I couldn’t lose anything else. And I came just in time,” she said.
“Thank you,” I said softly. It wasn’t nearly enough. But what else could I say to the woman who not only saved my life, but my brother’s life, too?
“Don’t thank me,” she said. “Just prove to me I did the right thing. I saved you, and I expect a good turn from you one of these days. All of our kind does. Promise me that.”
“I promise,” I said. After all of our disagreements, Lady Alice and I really did want the same things.
“Enough about me. There are a few people here who want to see you. I’ll let them know you’re up.”
Who could it be? Damon, I was sure, must hate me again.
I was surprised when Jemima, Gus, Billy, and Vivian, the four orphans from Mary Jane’s slum, walked in and surrounded my bed.
“They helped me reconsider. We all made mistakes when we tried to fight Samuel the first time, but Mary Jane would have wanted to help you. Did help you,” Lady Alice explained. “And their presence has added strength to our coven. They’re young, they’re strong, and they’re hungry. That spell I was performing down on the docks wasn’t just coming from me. All the orphans were behind it as well. And that was enough to defeat Samuel and his vampire army. As soon as I realized the orphans didn’t have anywhere to live besides the slum, I invited them to join me at my house. I hope Mary Jane would be happy,” Lady Alice said sadly.
“She would be,” I assured her. Then I turned my attention to the orphans. “Thank you for helping me, especially after everything that happened.”
“I hope we can put it all behind us,” Vivian said.
“We have the chance to change history,” Lady Alice said. “Vampires and witches don’t work together. And maybe for the most part, it’s better that way. But we all know now that sometimes, in extraordinary circumstances, witches and vampires can accomplish amazing things together.”
I smiled at the sentiment. I was feeling much stronger, now, thanks to these kind witches. I swung my legs to the side of the bed and rose unsteadily to my feet.
“Thank you.” I wanted to tell them how sorry I was for the havoc Samuel had wreaked, and how I knew saving me didn’t make them feel any better about losing Mary Jane. But I didn’t. The situation was too large for words.
“You won’t have to worry about me anymore,” I said finally. “I’ll be moving on.”
“Good for you, then,” Jemima said. “Good luck with everything.” I could tell that she actually meant it.
“Where will you go?” Gus asked.
“Maybe Australia,” I said, choosing a country at random. I wanted to get away from rain, and death, and that seemed far enough away for a fresh start.
“You need protection. Here, let me,” Lady Alice murmured. She circled her hands around my head several times in quick succession. By the third time, the burnt-out candles strewn about the floor lit up.
“Ad lucem eterna,” she intoned, and the younger witches took up the chorus. “That will help keep your true identity a secret when evil comes.”
“Thank you,” I said. I knew a million thank-yous wouldn’t express my gratitude for everything they’d done over these past few days.
A little while later, I said good-bye to the witches and readied myself to go. Just as I was about to head out, Cora walked in.
“Hi,” she said shyly.
“Hello.” I felt shy myself.
“You’re just in time. Stefan’s ready to leave,” Lady Alice said.
“Thank you for all you’ve done. And know that I won’t forget Mary Jane.” I knew the promise wasn’t enough to heal the ache in Lady Alice’s heart.
“Please don’t. And remember, you do have the potential to be a good man. But the tricky part is getting yourself to believe it.” Lady Alice smiled sadly.
“I’ll try,” I promised. Cora and I left the house and found ourselves back on London’s bustling streets. Fruit and vegetable carts clamored for space in the narrow lanes, ladies of the night were walking the blocks with rouged cheeks and low-cut dresses despite the early hour, and pub doors were flung open, welcoming thirsty laborers looking for a lunchtime pint. We could live here and set up house on Bedford Street. And yet I knew that was impossible.
Cora sighed, and I wondered if she was thinking the same thing.
“It’s time for me to move on,” Cora said.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” I told her.
“Damon’s arranging passage for me to America later today. Will you see me off?”
“Of course,” I said.
It was odd that we’d most likely never see each other again. It was necessary for Cora’s safety and for her well-being—as I’d learned, no good could come from a mortal spending time with a vampire. We lived on the same earth, but existed in two different worlds.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out Mr. Sutherland’s watch, which I’d been carrying ever since I left New York two decades ago. It was tarnished from age and had a tiny bloodstain on it, but it continued to tick. It was a testament to time, nothing else. But it reminded me that this second was the only thing in this life—vampire or mortal—that was ever truly certain.
I took Cora’s hand and dropped the heavy timepiece inside. “I’d like you to have this,” I said.
Cora examined it. “Why are you giving it to me?” she asked in disbelief.
“You deserve it. To remind you that we shared time together and that it profoundly changed us both. And also to remind you that I will think of you, and remember you, for eternity,” I said. It was true.
“I’ll miss you,” she said sadly.
“You’ll be all right. You’re the smartest, fiercest person I know. Remember that,” I said urgently.
Cora nodded. “Thank you. I’ll keep this forever, and never forget.”
We walked for a few minutes in silence, lost in our thoughts.
“I think when I get to America, I’ll change my name. A true fresh start. I won’t have had a sister. I won’t have moved from London. I’ll be from Ireland, seeking fame and fortune…” She trailed off, lost in the fantasy.
“Don’t lie,” I said urgently. “You may think it’s easier, but it’s not. Lies always come back. May I make a suggestion?”
“Of course,” Cora said.
“Go to Mystic Falls. It’s the town Damon and I grew up in. It’s beautiful. My father always used to call it God’s country,” I said, remembering.
Cora smiled. “That’s what my father always said about Ireland, too!” she burst out.
I smiled. “There’s still one family in Mystic Falls who will help you. The Bennetts. Emily Bennett was a loyal friend who took good care of me, and she’s a witch. Tell her family what happened. I know they’ll protect you. And that way, you’ll have someone to talk to about everything that’s happened. Someone who might understand.”
“That would be nice,” Cora said in a small voice.
&nbs
p; I glanced down at my ring, glinting in the sun. It was my ticket to freedom, the accessory that allowed me to walk in sunlight, among humans. Emily had given it to me, even after Katherine had died.
Just then, Big Ben began striking the time. Ten o’clock.
Cora turned to me, her eyes wide. “I should go. Damon said the boat leaves at four, but from Southampton. We’re taking a train there.”
I knew I’d promised to see her off, but running into Damon again might not be the best thing for either of us right now. Not when I’d just tried to kill him. But even with the events of last night, I knew I needed to say good-bye to my brother.
A cab stopped at the curb.
“Where you off to?” the coachman asked, genially tipping his hat toward us.
“Bedford Square,” I said, opening the door for Cora and following her inside. It was a relief to take a cab through the streets in daylight, without relying on compulsion or scanning the crowd in fear of Samuel. The sun shone through the window, leaving a pattern of light on the black leather of the seat. I glanced out the window as London rolled past me. The city would be all right. Cora would be all right. And, I realized, I’d be all right. I’d move somewhere else and hope that finally, this time, I’d stay out of trouble.
The driver stopped in front of the house and I sighed, wistful for all that could have been. In another world, could Cora and Damon and I have lived in happiness and solitude here? Could Damon and I have ever stopped bickering? No, I thought, trying desperately to push those questions out of my mind forever. It did no good to wonder. Because there wasn’t another world. There was this world, and I had to live in it as a vampire.
“Sir?” the coach driver asked, and I realized he was standing with the door open, waiting for me to step out. I jumped down and offered my arm to Cora. She took it, and together we walked into the home.
17
The sky above the ocean was a beautiful pink that reminded me of the magnolia trees when they were in full bloom back in Mystic Falls. It was the perfect contrast to the deep, moody blue of the Atlantic.
Damon and I glanced at each other. I still hadn’t said anything about the fact that I’d almost killed him. I knew I’d been compelled to do it, but there was something deeper than that, too, and it shamed me. In that moment, I’d wanted Damon’s death. And a tiny kernel in the depths of my being still did. Of course I’d never act on it, but being reminded it was there was unsettling, and a large reason why I couldn’t continue to spend time with him.
“I guess this is it,” Cora said, glancing at the huge ship silhouetted against the sinking sun. She was dressed in a sky-blue dress, with a mink stole she’d found in the closet of the house on Bedford Square. Behind her, Damon was pulling a steamer trunk filled with everything she could fit from the house, including a large chest of gold coins. She was a wealthy woman now, and I had no doubt she’d have no problems settling in America. Cora clutched her ticket in her hand: first class, one way, on the White Star line. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
I shook my head sadly. I didn’t want to follow Cora, trailing behind her like a cloud always ready to break and unleash a torrent of terror.
“Small town life was never right for me,” Damon said. “I need to get a proper taste of Europe.” Damon picked her up and squeezed her tightly. “Be good. I don’t want to hear any reports of funny business in America. No killing vampires, no dressing up and infiltrating your way into charitable societies, and no becoming friends with any other creatures of darkness, you hear?”
Cora raised an eyebrow. “Oh, like you’ll just be waiting around for news from me. I know you’ll be far too busy capturing the hearts of all the ladies of Europe. I just hope you eventually settle down!”
Then Cora turned to me. “Stefan, thank you for everything,” she said seriously. “And remember, no more apologies.”
“I’ll try,” I said. Of course, that would mean that I’d have to stop doing things I regretted. Maybe I could.
“And both of you, take care of each other,” she said sternly.
“We will,” I said hollowly. Right now, it seemed the best way to take care of each other was to be as far away from each other as possible.
“Take care of me?” Damon protested. “I think I need a bodyguard to make sure he doesn’t go off the rails. He was terrifying! I’ll tell you something, brother,” he said, slugging me companionably on my arm. I guess Damon wasn’t as mad at me as I’d thought. Had we really moved past our petty differences? “You’re stronger than I thought. Why not use it? Just think, the two Salvatores could put on a real show, the kind that Gallagher and his circus could only dream of,” he said.
“I’m afraid I’m only up to doing battle once every twenty-five years,” I joked.
“So that would be, what? 1913? Cora, put it on your calendar. Wherever we are, we’ll make sure you come to witness it,” Damon joked.
“I’m planning to be quite at peace in 1913, thank you very much,” she retorted. “After all, I’ll be a middle-aged lady by then. The lot of you wouldn’t even look twice at me.”
“I’ll make an exception,” Damon said, bowing deeply.
I imagined her twenty-five years in the future. She’d have a husband and children. I wondered if she’d name one of them Violet and tell them stories of their long-lost aunt’s beauty and bravery. I wondered what else she’d tell them about the events that had made her the woman she’d become.
“But you’ve got me thinking,” Cora said spontaneously as the ship belched out three long, low horn blasts, a signal that departure was imminent. “Why not meet in 1913? Wherever we are. I’ll make sure if I move to always keep my address updated at the Mystic Falls post office. Somehow, you’ll always be able to find me!” she said excitedly, her eyes full of hope that there was a future for her; a future for all of us. I nodded slowly. Maybe a meeting twenty-five years in the future would be enough for me to keep hope.
“Is it a deal, brother?” Damon asked, his face twisted into a smirk. I nodded slowly. For once, we weren’t fighting over a girl. Instead, we were both able to let her ago, and she—and we—were all better off for it.
“Until then, gentlemen!” Cora said. She pulled out her pocket watch and reverentially touched it, then turned and walked up the gangplank. When she reached the end, she whirled around and blew us a kiss before disappearing into the ship.
“Well, we did it,” Damon said, sounding as proud as if he were a parent sending his daughter down the aisle for her wedding.
“She did it,” I said. “She’s quite a girl.”
“We always do agree on the essential truths,” Damon said. “So now, where to? I’ve heard there’s a wicked poker game that takes place at the Mouse Trap, just down the port. Shall we go all-in, like old times?” Damon asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “You need to win some money to pay me back for the fact that you almost killed me.”
I shook my head. “I’m leaving, too,” I explained.
Surprise crossed Damon’s face. “With Cora? Was that your plan?” he asked accusingly.
“No. I don’t know where I’m going. I’ll take whatever ship comes. Africa? Australia?”
“Are you sure? Because Europe is ours for the taking. We could have parties and balls and marry princesses from the Continent. We’d ensure that the Salvatore name would matter. That’s my plan. Come join me.”
I shook my head. For a split second, Damon looked disappointed. But it quickly passed.
“Probably for the best,” Damon said, pressing his lips into a straight line. “I wouldn’t want you cramping my style.”
I held out my hand for Damon to shake, but he ignored the gesture.
“Maybe in 1913,” I teased. Damon jammed his hands in his pocket and turned away without responding.
I watched his figure retreat down the pier, and then, when he was only a speck in the distance, I lifted my eyes to the horizon. The sun was sinking slowly. I glanced at the ships rocking in the sea, tr
ying to decide which one to take.
My stomach rumbled, but I ignored it. There would be plenty of rats aboard whatever steamer I chose. I could live on rodents. It would be penance, and it would feel good after so much temptation. I’d taken money from the house, so I wouldn’t have to worry about paying my fare. I wouldn’t need to rely on compulsion. I wanted to start my next chapter with a clean slate. I would live a simple, and welcome, existence.
Cora’s steamer lurched away, chugging toward the horizon. People on the deck blew kisses at the crowds that had congregated on the dock to wave good-bye. I tried to make out Cora, but I couldn’t see her. I waved, still, bidding farewell to this chapter of my life as much as I was to Cora.
And then, once the ship had disappeared beyond the horizon, I turned and walked toward town, shoulders squared, head up—just another man seeking a new life far away.
EPILOGUE
In one of my schoolbooks there was a painting called The Fountain of Youth, an Edenic image of young, beautiful people in the middle of an endless party. As a child, I’d glanced at it again and again, enchanted by the idea of immortality.
Now I knew better. Immortality wasn’t idyllic or enchanting. But it was powerful.
If I had to live forever, I had to make it count. And that was why I needed to get as far away as I could from temptation—and from Damon.
So that’s why I boarded a ship bound for New Zealand. I had no idea if I’d stay for a month, a year, or a century, and I liked it that way. I liked not needing a plan. I liked only depending on myself. And I liked the way it was so easy to slip into conversation with a stranger and no longer feel like I was hiding a horrible secret.
I was Stefan Salvatore.
I still craved blood. The desire was relentless, all-consuming, a second heartbeat pounding away in the center of my being. I wondered what it would feel like if I could just give in to my dark side, like Damon. I wondered what would have happened if Lady Alice hadn’t come and saved both of us. When it mattered, in that final moment between life and death, would I have had the self-control to break the compulsion and pull myself off him?