by Danda K.
Closing my eyes, I stroke my hard length, thinking about her intoxicating scent. I’m desperate to relieve myself. Imagining what it would be like to bite into one of those delectable ass cheeks and make my way down to what I know would be an exquisite pink pussy.
I want every inch of her on me. I want to feel the softness of her tongue against mine and get lost in her mouth.
Speeding up my pace, I feel my dick pulse, and I know I’m gonna burst at any minute. I’m actually surprised I’ve lasted this long. I continue to squeeze and jerk myself, knowing I’ll likely have a sore arm from working so hard. My spine starts to tingle, and I feel my climax building.
I begin to thrust into my strokes, squeezing a little tighter around myself as I do.
One final jerk, and I shoot all over my hands and into the shower. This girl has every part of my body out of control. Eventually, my dick gets a hold of itself, and I wash off both the shower and my body. Feeling only slightly relieved, I turn off the water and wrap myself in a towel.
I head back into my room, throw on grey sweatpants, and hop into bed. Magnet joins me, making himself comfortable by my feet.
I attempt to watch some TV, but I can’t even concentrate on The Bachelor finale because I have my own choices to make.
Do I text the girl who I know for sure would end up with my final rose, or do I go to bed and try to catch up on some sleep. Either scenario ends with her still running rampant through my mind, so I go with the less tortuous one and grab my phone.
Twelve
Cameron
“I swear on everything, Cam! If I find one more pair of his dirty socks on the couch, I’m locking him out!” I adjust the volume on my phone to a lower setting as Milla continues to scream. From this distance, she sounds like a chipmunk on speed. I bring my phone back to my ear and continue to listen. “He told me that I’m the one with the attitude lately? He complains about every little thing! So what if there’s a scrunchie on the damn floor!” She takes a breath. “And I can’t help it that my hair falls out! Who cares if there’s a strand in his plate? Freakin’ remove it! Geez!”
I finally get a chance to respond, “Milla, it’s Shane. You know he just likes to hear himself complain. Pick your battles. You guys will be fine in no time.”
She huffs in response. Someone walks out of the store right before I head inside for essentials. I end the call abruptly, so I don’t draw any suspicions from Camilla.
I haven’t told her I left home yet because I still haven’t found a place to live. I can’t have her offering up her parent’s house or coming back early to help me find an apartment.
I appreciate her so much, but this is my mess to clean up.
Walking around the small store, I grab myself some water bottles and cheap snacks to hold me over, and quickly check out at the small register in the bodega before another person walks in.
◆◆◆
I head inside Thomas with my shopping bag and slide the door closed to change into my pajamas.
I’m thankful there’s a laundromat not far from where I am, so I still get to clean my clothes. I utilize the private shower stalls by the beach to clean myself, but I don’t know how much longer that can happen.
I need a place to live. And a job.
I’m frustrated with both my reality and the fact the makeshift bed I use is really starting to put a strain on my back. I’m exhausted, though, so I lie down and immediately doze off.
Lying on my stomach, I’m defenseless and unable to move with his weight on top of me. The pain courses through me again, stinging my back. This time he holds it down longer when he does it. “Daddy! Please stop! You’re hurting me!” The more I scream and beg, the more he presses it down slower and more deliberate.
I cry out even louder, “Daddy, please!”
I jump up out of my sleep, sweat drenching my back and neck. I feel around the dark car to confirm it was just a nightmare. I reach behind my back, feeling the rough patches of skin still sensitive to the touch. I grab my water bottle and chug the contents inside.
Sitting up on the bench, I lean my head back on the metal wall behind me for a few minutes, allowing my heartbeat to slow to its natural rhythm.
My brain is on full speed ahead now, so I start to think about how my day unfolded. How Jaxon is the first person, besides Milla, to ever put any effort into knowing me. I’m not naive. I know this can go up in flames at any second, but I think I want to see where it goes.
When he asked me to meet him, I decided to give him a chance, just like I did with my best friend so many years ago.
But this time, it’s scarier because I feel things for Jaxon that I never felt for Camilla, for anyone.
Even as friends, these feelings leave me open to getting hurt by him in ways I can’t even imagine. For the first time, I’ve allowed a man inside. I have to put some trust in his hands and hope he’ll take all these pieces of me that I protect at all costs, and protect them, too.
My phone lights up and dings with a text. It can’t be Milla because I’m sure she and Shane are already “making up.” I reach over and pick it up. The screen says it’s eleven-thirty, and underneath the time, I find a text from, who I assume, is Jaxon. He saved his name as “Charming.” I shake my head. There really is no end to his need to be as obnoxious as possible.
I put my glasses on and read the text.
Charming: Did you know that every star you see in the night sky is actually bigger and brighter than the sun?
Cameron: Did you know that although the sun appears yellow and white, it’s actually considered a blue star based on its peak wavelength?
Charming: The fuck? I didn’t even know stars have colors other than bright. I just downloaded this Random Facts app on my phone and got my first notification. Thought I’d share it with you.
Of course, he did.
Charming: So, the sun is blue, huh? Don’t let me find out you’re an undercover nerd, Nyx.
Cameron: Rather be a nerd than a cat person.
Cameron: A cat person who knows way too much about romance novels.
Dots appear like he’s typing and then disappear.
Charming: Hey, don’t judge me. Only a man completely comfortable with his masculinity would relish in that particular book genre.
Cameron: If you say so.
Charming: Will I still be seeing you this Sunday? Or did I make you nervous with the admittance of my guilty pleasure?
Cameron: It’s gonna take more than that for you to have ANY effect on me at all.
I lie through my virtual teeth.
It takes a couple of minutes before the dancing dots appear again.
Charming: Then I’ll have to step up my game.
Charming: Night, Nyx.
Cameron: Good night, Jaxon.
I put my phone and glasses away inside my Jansport and attempt to sleep again.
It isn’t easy, though.
It’s clear Jaxon has more than just an effect on me; he’s rewiring me. He’s taking the vessels attached to my defective heart and breathing life into them. When I’m with him, I feel different, like I belong. Making me hopeful that, maybe, there is a place for me in this world.
Thirteen
Cameron
The next four days go rather quickly but are disappointing. I called a few more places, trying to find an apartment, but nothing stuck.
Jaxon and I have been talking and texting nonstop since Wednesday. I found myself running to Starbucks to charge my phone much more often than before. I filled him in about Thomas, minus the location, my attempts to find a place to live, and about the stores where I’ve applied to work.
I’ve learned he’s part Irish and Greek and has a wicked ex-girlfriend. Despite his difficult upbringing, Jaxon is the epitome of optimism. I think it may not only be his light that draws me to him...but his similar scars. I began to look forward to his calls and texts, and when time went by where I didn’t hear from him, I actually missed him.
I spe
nt my Sunday cleaning the few clothes I packed when I left my dad’s and managed a quick shower in the bathroom at the beach. Usually, the beach showers are outdoors to wash off the sand, but private bathrooms were added when they made changes to the boardwalk. I’m not complaining, though.
After I showered, I tried to style my wet hair to the best of my ability without straightening it. I separated it into two sections and added a French braid to each. I figured tamed waves were better than messy ones. I decided to let my hair dry throughout the day in the braids and release them later when I got ready to see Jaxon.
Who the hell am I? Since when do I care about how I look to a guy?
After grabbing myself a bite to eat at Starbucks, I log into work a bit and charge both my laptop and phone before heading back to the trains to figure out what to wear.
Suddenly, nerves stab through my chest. Is this a date? Am I going on a date with Jaxon?
Of course not. I’m sure he’s just taking pity on me.
Unsure of where we stand, I figure I owe it to myself to look as good as I can. Let’s face it, he’s undeniably gorgeous, and I’m, well, me.
I decide to wear my dark blue skinny jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt. It’s a relaxed fit, but still not as loose as my other ones, hugging my waist at my hips.
I check the time, six-fifteen. I have ten minutes to finish up here if I want to make it to the beach on time. I remove my braids and give a quick shake to the hair by my scalp to soften the waves.
As good as it will get, I wrap a red flannel around my waist and tie my boots. Cleaning my glasses and adjusting them on my face, I take a deep breath and head out to meet the first man who’s succeeded in making me care about how I look.
I arrive at the beach about ten minutes early, so I sit on the bench.
I figure it’ll be a nice ice breaker when he shows up. Ahead of me, the sun is slowly descending into the horizon, and I see a few people packing up their chairs and towels to head back to wherever they came from.
It’s mostly quiet now, any excitement probably closer to the other end of the boardwalk where the rides are. A motorcycle roars in the near distance, and the sound of it vibrates in my ears, relaxing me somehow. When the noise is gone, I continue to bask in the scene before me. A cool breeze blows my hair in front of my face, so I grab a handful of it and hold it until the wind passes.
The setting sun is a beautiful orange tonight, and the waves from the ocean are choppy and brush the shoreline in frequent strokes. I feel a dip in my chest and a quick but powerful thump of my heart. And I just know if I turn around, he’ll be there.
“It’s quite the view, huh?” I hear Jaxon’s voice behind me.
I smile, getting a little too used to my body’s knee-jerk reaction to him. I turn around and look up to find him standing there with his hands in his pockets.
I wonder if his hands are as sweaty as mine.
He has his infamous grey beanie on his head paired with a black, short-sleeved Henley and light washed slim-fit jeans. The shirt isn’t overly tight, but it’s snug enough to get a peek at the cuts on his torso and showcase the veins in his long arms. His black Timberlands are intact, and he’s sporting a perfect five o’clock shadow across his handsome face.
“Yeah, I’m definitely starting to understand your fascination with it.” I stand up and turn towards him, fixing my hair and hoping I look somewhat decent.
He stares at me for a bit, unreadable, as he looks me up and down.
Tilting his head towards where he came from, he asks, “You ready to go?”
I look at him, puzzled. “I thought we were staying on the beach?” I point behind me with my thumb. Panicking, I start to look around, trying to muster up some confidence. I didn’t mentally prepare myself to leave the beach with him.
“Oh no, I have something else in mind.” He gives a mischievous grin. “You’re gonna have to really trust me.” His emphasis on the word has me crawling out of my skin.
“What are you up to?” I ask him almost desperately.
“No good, obviously.” He grins, his dimples on full display. He’s playing dirty, damn it.
“C’mon, I wouldn’t make you do anything you can’t handle.” He waves his hand forward, signaling me to follow his lead.
We walk next to each other, in a quiet, but not uncomfortable silence.
Going down the ramp onto the street, I try hard to figure out what he could have planned for us. Focusing on the sound of my boots hitting the ground, I power through my nerves and continue to walk towards our destination, wherever that may be. Coming to my senses, I look next to me and realize he’s no longer there. I quickly look left and right, searching in confusion, when I hear a whistle right behind me and turn towards it.
OH. HELL. NO.
“What the hell is that?!” I practically squeal, pointing to the motorcycle he’s leaning on.
Oh, no, no, no-no. I turn as quickly as possible to make a mad dash, but just as I do, his strong hands grip my shoulders from behind, turning me around, and steering me towards what I assume is his death trap.
“I am NOT getting on that thing!” I refuse, hoping it isn’t his motorcycle that he wants me to get on.
“Listen, I’m a highly experienced rider. I have all the licenses one can get. You’ll be safe. I would never put you at any risk, as long as I could help it. You said it yourself, you’re in the process of trying new things.” He walks over to the bike, giving me the space to weigh my options.
I’m about to turn around and cut my losses when I remember how he makes me feel. What he’s managed to do to me, and the effort he continues to put in. I owe it to him to throw him a damn bone, even though every bone in my body is shaking from fear.
“Dying is not on my wish list, you know,” I tell him seriously.
Jaxon grabs two helmets- one older black one and a bright, shiny red one that seems to be much more protective and durable.
He hands me the safer option.
“I do know.” There’s a pregnant pause before he continues, “But I also want to make sure that you actually live.”
With that, he hangs the black helmet off the handle and removes his beanie, which has caused his shaggy hair to flatten to one side. He shakes his head, releasing the stiff strands and running a hand through to comb them out. Then, he removes my glasses and places them in my Jansport, along with his hat. Securing them in a compartment in the back, Jaxon lifts one leg over his bike and sits down. He reaches a hand out to help me climb on.
I place my shaky hand in his and carefully straddle the bike behind him. I shove the helmet on and immediately wrap my arms around him and hold on for dear life.
Before he starts the engine, he looks back at me. “I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you, Nyx.” He turns to face forward as he puts his helmet on, and I get the feeling he means that in more ways than this.
I smile against his back, hidden away in this big bulky helmet because I believe him somehow. I hug him tighter, if that’s even possible, and say a silent prayer to whoever’s listening. The engine comes to life, and we take off onto the road.
Fourteen
Cameron
I relax into Jaxon, feeling the wind all around me.
At first, I was stiff and nervous, but now I find myself leaning naturally into the turns with him, reveling in the form of freedom that comes from flying down the highway at high speeds. After riding for about half an hour, he turns on his blinker and exits to the right. Slowing down to street speed, we cut through the traffic.
Suddenly, there’s a large body of water to our right. With the view of the Brooklyn Bridge in the near distance, I’m assuming we’re downtown. Jaxon makes a left and slows to a stop. He’s a damn vision on his motorcycle, and I make a mental note that I have a thing for men with bikes.
He pulls over and backs into a spot. Releasing the kickstand, he gets off and turns to help me get down. When Jaxon removes our helmets, my legs shake a bit, and I lose my ba
lance. He grabs me and holds me under my elbows until the feeling subsides.
“Your legs may feel like Jell-O for a little bit. Especially since it was your first time on a bike.” He checks to see if I’m good to stand on my own, then releases me.
“That was exhilarating. I was so scared at first, but after a bit, it was actually pretty cool.” I look down at my legs and check to make sure they’re still there.
“Yeah, it feels good to ride and feel the wind in your face. It’s freeing.” He pauses. “Do you know where we are?”
I look around the street at the industrial buildings and damaged ground under us. Construction workers are behind a divider in the street, and they appear to be fixing the concrete.
There are some small eateries, but overall this area seems to be mostly factories and buildings.
“I’m assuming we’re in Downtown Brooklyn. I saw the bridge while we were at the red light.”
“Okay, good, let’s go grab a quick bite to eat, and then I have something awesome to show you.” He locks the bike down and removes my bag from the back compartment, places his beanie back on his head, then secures the helmets inside. He hands me my bag, and I put my glasses on, getting a much better look at where we are.
I don’t know what the hell could be so special about this place, but judging by the last secret hiding place Jaxon showed me, I know it must be pretty awesome.
We stop at a small stand, and he grabs us each a hotdog and some drinks. Paying the guy with a twenty-dollar bill, Jaxon tells him to keep the change as we walk over to a small bench in front of a building to eat.
“So, do you know why I brought you here?” he asks while taking a sip of his Pepsi.