by Danda K.
Giving a final blow to his face, he falls limp.
I turn to Cameron and see she’s no longer on the phone. She’s as still as a statue, staring at the floor with her arms crossed over her chest.
She’s in shock.
If he seriously hurt her, I may actually kill him. Her glasses are in pieces by her feet, and the contents of her bag are thrown everywhere. I call her name, but she doesn’t respond.
I slowly walk towards her and reach my arm out to touch her shoulder. She jumps back, looking up. There are tears in her eyes and a bruise across her cheek. I hear her whimper, so I reach out to hug her, petrified I’ll do the wrong thing. I don’t want to talk too much, but I need to know where her head’s at.
“Nyx, baby, please look at me. Let me know you’re alright.”
She looks up at me for a few seconds, her eyes distant. Suddenly, as if she’s brought back into focus, her body begins to shake. Her tears become uncontrollable sobs, and she begins to slide down the wall, hysterical. I grab her and maneuver myself behind her so we both slide down, tangled around each other.
“Shhhhh, baby. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m so fucking sorry.” I try to comfort her, running my hands down her back as she curls in on herself. This is all my fault, I brought her here. She trusted me. I said I wouldn’t hurt her, but I didn’t keep her safe.
I can feel her sobs drenching my shirt, and my own eyes begin to water. The pain and fear this girl is experiencing are so palpable, I could touch it with my hands. I should’ve gone inside with her, but I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. Look where that got me.
“I tried to fight.” I hear her say between sobs.
“No, baby, you did fight. He just had an advantage. It’s not your fault. You’re so fucking brave. I saw his bruises when I first walked in. You got him good, baby.” I kiss her forehead and squeeze her tighter.
I need her to understand that this is circumstance and isn’t on her.
She didn’t bring this on herself. The sick bastard lying on the floor did this. A huge part of me wants to get up and finish the job, but she needs me more than I need to prove a point. I hear sirens in the distance and look down, realizing she’s still topless.
I know she’d want to be covered.
“Let’s get this shirt back on you baby, the cops are almost here.” I let her go so she can put on her shirt, but she stays limp against me.
I pick her up, cradling her in my arms. I carry her to a small counter across from the sink and sit her down. I grab the shirt and gently push it down over her head and ease her arms through the sleeves. I wrap her flannel around her shoulders and step between her legs. She leans her forehead against my shoulder, and I gently brush her hair with my fingers, resting my cheek on her head to soothe her.
“I don’t want to go to the hospital, Jaxon. Please don’t force the issue when they come in. I just need to leave here. I don’t need medical attention, I promise. I just need to go home.”
I don’t know what to say to that because I want her to see a doctor. But what I want doesn’t matter here. She deserves to make her own choices about her body, especially after she’s been violated. Again.
On the outside, she looks okay. Her pants are still on, and she doesn’t seem to be in any physical pain. Thank fuck for that.
I want to honor her request, but I don’t even know where home is for her. I just know it’s a blue abandoned train car. “Where’s home Nyx? You never told me.”
She stays silent, and I feel her breathing settle down. A minute passes before she answers, “Wherever you are, Jaxon.”
She says the words as if they’re every answer to life’s lessons.
And at that moment, I hear the voices outside the bathroom door. The police are here.
Nineteen
Jaxon
The door opens, and an entourage of people come barging in- some officers, firefighters, and two EMTs. Cam is noticeably uncomfortable with the number of people surrounding her.
“Look at me, baby, it’s okay. They’re gonna get this all sorted out, and we’ll be outta here before you know it.” I notice a petite blonde paramedic make her way over to us.
“You think you can take her somewhere else while they deal with him?” I nod my head over to the asshole they’re trying to wake up.
Sympathetically, she replies, “Of course, let’s head out to the ambulance. This way, I can look her over to check for injuries.” She walks over to the police officers and whispers something in one of their ears. The officer nods and instructs the rest of them to hold off.
The paramedic walks over to grab her bag and heads back towards us.
Focusing on Cameron, she says, “Hey girl, my name’s Anna. I’m a paramedic with the FDNY. You think we could go get you checked out? Are you able to walk?”
Cameron nods her head. “Uh, yeah, I can walk fine.” She slides off the counter and bends to pick up her stuff from the floor.
I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her. “I got it, Cam.” I just need her to get out of this bathroom. I continue to pick up her stuff as the paramedic walks her out of the bathroom with her hand resting gently on Cam’s back. I gather her things and my hat, then head out of the bathroom myself.
I run to catch up, and we continue towards the vehicle. When we get to the ambulance, we all climb in. Cam sits on the stretcher as I sit next to her on the bench. Anna begins checking her vitals and doing a quick workup.
She asks her male partner to step out of the vehicle and closes the doors to the back.
She’s gonna ask her to take off her clothes.
Knowing Cam’s body has been desecrated somehow, Anna probably wants her to feel like she still has control over who gets to see her. Even if it’s another medical professional.
“I’m gonna need to check your body out, sweetie. Do you mind lifting your shirt up for me?” Anna speaks gently like Cam is a bomb that could detonate at any moment.
It’s obvious she’s seen this type of situation one too many times. I suddenly feel like I shouldn’t be here. I know I’ve seen her topless before, but that was different. Cam had no choice. She has a choice now, and I don’t want her to have to make it. I stand up, but she stops me.
Void of any emotion, she looks up at me. “Don’t go.”
Keeping my eyes off her, I sit back down on the bench. She takes off her shirt, and I look out the window, respecting her privacy.
Anna looks around and checks for bruising. But seems pleased. “The only bruise I can see is this one on your face. And there’s a bump on the back of your head, but it feels normal.” The paramedic writes some stuff down and then continues, “I still recommend you get checked at the hospital for anything internal.”
Cam puts her shirt on and shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. I just wanna go home.”
Anna looks like she wants to argue but doesn’t. “It’s my medical recommendation for you to be seen by a doctor, but I can’t force you. Unless...” She rechecks her paper. “Is there even the slightest chance that you’re pregnant?”
Cam’s face turns bright red. “No, there’s no chance.” She gets uncomfortable and shifts in her seat.
The paramedic looks my way accusingly and then back to Cam. “Are you sure? Because having unprotected sex once,” She emphasizes the word and continues, “can result in a pre--”
Cameron interjects, “I’ve never had sex.”
The paramedic, whose face is now redder than Cam’s, nods her head. I guess that answers my question, too.
“In that case, you just need to fill out a form refusing medical advice...” She continues on about how to care for her wound and how to recognize signs of a concussion.
I know damn well Cam has tuned her out, but I listen intently. After all the forms are signed, we gather our stuff and exit the truck.
Two cops come over and offer to drive us back to my apartment, and we begin walking to their car. I’ll pick up my bike tomorrow after Nyx is settled. We get into
the back of the police car, and I give the officers my address. Cam is quiet, staring out the window as the officers turn onto the street.
She’s quiet as we make our way through the Gowanus Expressway. I reach over and squeeze her knee, offering a silent reassurance that I’m still here.
She gives me a small smile but turns back to the window, zoning out again.
I can’t imagine what she feels, and I wish I could make it better for her. I just don’t think I can provide the help she really needs. Between the things she’s alluded to in her past and what happened tonight, I think a professional would be much more appropriate.
The vehicle comes to a stop in front of my place. The officers get out and open both our doors. I walk around to Cam, place my hand on her lower back, and guide her towards my gate. She waits there as I head back to the two officers and shake both their hands, thanking them for their help.
I take out my keys and walk over to Cameron as she looks around the alleyway; she still seems off but a bit more alert.
As we enter the backyard and head towards the door, her eyes look it over before they steady on the patio and four chairs. The red umbrella over the table is slightly bent from the wind, and Sam’s bike, scooter, and toys are scattered. The backyard’s mostly concrete, but there’s a small patch of grass on the far side where Sayeed grows some vegetables.
I open the door and gesture for her to enter. She walks in, her eyes searching the floor like there’s a trap somewhere that’ll lock her ankles in a vice.
She’s looking for Magnet.
I point towards the door before the kitchen entrance. “He’s probably asleep in the bathroom sink.”
That seems to catch her off guard. She shakes her head with a small chuckle, and I feel a little better now seeing her respond a bit more.
“Make yourself comfortable, whatever you need. Mi casa es su casa.” I signal around the house, trying to lighten the mood.
“You mind if I take a shower?” She rubs her hand across her cheek. “I just need to wash him off me.”
I nod and go to get her some towels. I don’t have any loofahs, bath scrubs, or whatever the hell chicks use, but I do have some Dove soap.
Making a mental note to go out tomorrow and get her some stuff she may need while she stays here, I grab her a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt to put on after the shower. Placing it all in the bathroom for her, I pick up Magnet, who, like I figured, was sleeping in the sink, and put him on the floor. He scurries off just as Cameron walks in.
“Bath or shower?” I ask standing between the tub and stand-up shower.
She just shrugs and smiles. “Is both an option?”
She stands in front of the vanity mirror, examining her bruise.
Joking with her, I respond, “What’d I tell you about the word no?”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “Right, no is not an option. I’ll remember that.”
I wink at her and point my thumb over my shoulder. “I’m just gonna set up the spare bedroom for you, y’know, change the sheets and clean up a bit. I’ll be right out here if you need me.”
She nods and continues to go about her business. I leave the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
It takes me about thirty minutes to get the room set up and the apartment organized. I didn’t have much to clean because I never let it get too messy. Being homeless gives you a new appreciation for your own home. I heard the water shut off a few minutes ago, so I head to the kitchen to make us something to eat.
The bathroom door opens, and Cam walks out.
“Hey, you.” I give her a smile as I move to the sink.
“Hey, yourself.” She smiles back and tucks her long wet hair behind her ear.
Smirking, I ask, “You hungry? I was about to make some peanut butter sandwiches for me and Magnet.”
She smiles back and replies, “Yeah, sure. Will your best friend be joining us for dinner?” Just as she finishes her statement, Magnet brushes past her leg, and she jumps.
“You can pet him. He won’t bite.” I pause and tap my finger to my chin to think about it. “Or, better yet, just leave him be.” I remember my ankles and decide that’s for the best.
“You don’t have to twist my arm,” she responds dryly.
I’m silenced, amazed at the ease of our banter after the horrible evening we just had.
I grab the jar of peanut butter from the cabinet and put it on the counter as I fish a knife out of the drawer. Once our sandwiches are ready, I place them on a couple of plates and take them over to the table. I go back for Magnet’s and call him over. I place his spoonful of peanut butter in his dish as he struts in and gets comfortable.
Sitting down to eat, I lift my sandwich and ask, “So, how’re you holding up?”
She shrugs and replies before taking a bite of her sandwich, “Not my first rodeo.” It bothers the shit outta me that this girl has grown accustomed to being assaulted. I’m flooded with even more guilt.
She must read it on my face because she follows up with, “It’s not your fault Jaxon. I want you to know that, besides what happened in the bathroom, tonight was amazing.” She places her sandwich down, wipes her hands off, and continues, “No man has ever treated me with a fraction of the decency that you have. I’m grateful for your kindness and generosity, so thank you.”
I shake my head, knowing she’s trying to placate me. “It’s not about me, Cameron. And you don’t have to thank me. I care about you. Deeply. I’d do anything for you.”
She picks at the piece of bread in her plate and retorts, “That’s good to know because I’m not an easy person to care about. I’ll fight you tooth and nail.” She shrugs. “It’s just who I am.”
I take a long sip of my water and reassure her, “Well, I’m up for the challenge. Now finish up. It’s late, and you need to rest.” She takes a huge bite, showing off by smiling like a chipmunk with food stuffed in her cheeks. I don’t know if her sudden playful attitude makes me happy because she feels better or makes me incredibly angry because she’s so desensitized to violence.
When we’re both done eating, she stands up and finishes her glass of water. “I’m gonna head to bed.” I stand up, unsure of what to do.
She seems like she’s debating something before she asks, “Can you maybe lay with me for a bit?
Just until I fall asleep?”
I look at her like she’s crazy. Will I lay with her? I’d be her own personal fucking blow up bed if she needed me to be.
Her cheeks turn crimson as she shakes her head. “Sorry, you don’t have to. That was stupid of--”
I cut her off. “Stop.” Stepping in front of her, I gently pinch her chin and tilt her head up to look at me. “Let’s go to bed.”
I kiss her lips gently. It’s a quick kiss, just enough for her to feel my lips on hers, but not so much that she’d feel like I wanted more than this.
We head into the room she’ll be using. The bed is smaller than my queen-sized mattress, but I don’t care. Cameron lies down on her side with her hands pressed together under her chin. I scoot in behind her and pull her to me so we’re back to chest. I wrap my free arm over her side and tuck the other one under my pillow.
We stay silent, and before I know it, her breaths even out, and she’s asleep.
I say a silent vow to her at this moment that I would do everything in my power to make sure nobody ever hurts her again, including myself.
Twenty
Cameron
I wake up on my belly, my hair a disheveled mess. I lift my head from the pillow and look around. How long did I sleep?
I roll over and stretch my arms and legs. It feels like forever since I’ve slept in a bed. And I’ve never slept in one with a guy.
Jaxon was sweet, though, checking on me all night. I’m a light sleeper, so I could sense when he was watching me. I don’t even think he slept much. Proving to me how considerate he is, I woke up to him pulling down my T-shirt when my stomach became exposed. He even bu
ilt a huge pillow wall between us, I assume to give me space and respect my privacy.
I woke up again and noticed him staring at the ceiling, one hand behind his head and the other gripping mine gently. I don’t think he let go of my hand all night, honestly. I could tell he was deep in thought, so I just went back to sleep.
I really hope he isn’t blaming himself still.
I don’t hear him anywhere in the house, so I sit up and begin to panic. Did he end up getting arrested somehow? Did that dirtbag spew some lies and accuse Jaxon of attacking him first? Maybe the cops came back and arrested him this morning? Just as my brain begins to conjure up some more horrifying scenarios, I spot a note on the pillow next to where I slept.
Morning Nyx. Had to go get my bike.
Didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be back soon.
Magnet has breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen