Downbeat

by Jodie Larson

  She giggles. “I appreciate that. All I really need right now is my phone and purse. There are a few phone calls I need to make.”

  “No problem. And while you’re doing that, I can make some breakfast if you’re hungry.” I glance back at the clock. “Or brunch, I guess.”

  Kylie’s eyes widen at the time. “Oh, crap. Just my phone for right now.”

  I nod and walk to the living room, grabbing the purse she had last night from the coffee table. Breck and Lizzie look up from the kitchen counter where they’re reading the newspaper together.

  “She okay?” Lizzie asks.

  I nod. “She doesn’t remember much, and she’s scared, which is to be expected. But she’s fine.”

  “Good,” Brecken says, breathing a sigh of relief.

  I turn to Lizzie. “Can she borrow some clothes, in case she wants to freshen up?”

  Lizzie stands and nods. “Absolutely. I’ll grab some stuff.” She follows me down the hall but turns at her room as I stand outside my closed door and knock.

  “Come in,” Kylie says quietly. I poke my head through the door first before opening it all the way.

  She grabs the purse from my extended hand. “Thanks.”

  I hook my thumbs into my belt loops and rock back on my heels. “Uh, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to shower or not, but I asked Lizzie if you could borrow some clothes and get more comfortable.”

  Kylie looks at her wrinkled dress and cringes. Wrinkled or not, she’s still hot as hell. Sure, it was short, but damn, did it make her legs look a mile long. Not to mention it flattered her breasts and highlighted her hourglass figure. Still does, even like this.

  “Lizzie?”

  “Brecken’s girlfriend,” I say, jerking my head toward the door.

  “Oh. Um, I-I don’t know.” She opens the flap of her purse and finds her phone. “Let me make this call first and I’ll let you know?”

  I nod. “Sounds good. I’ll just wait out in the kitchen. Let me know if you need anything.”

  She smiles as I walk out the door, fighting every instinct I have to sit next to her and reassure her things will be okay. I understand she needs space, but she also needs to know she’s protected.

  Lizzie’s back in her chair while Brecken is rummaging through the fridge. “Does she need the clothes?”

  “She’s going to make a phone call first and let me know. I don’t want to push her,” I say, grabbing an apple out of the fruit bowl on the counter.

  “Smart move. Let her come out on her own, make the decisions. Granted, nothing happened to her, but it’s still traumatic nonetheless.”

  Breck takes his seat, shoving some leftover Chinese into his mouth. “It’s killing you, though, right?”

  “Immensely.”

  With shaking hands, I dial Jenny’s number, afraid of what she’s going to say.

  “So, did you hook up with him?”

  What? How in the hell did she know I left with someone?

  “I…wait…what?”

  Jenny has the audacity to laugh. “Katie called me, said she saw you leave with a guy.”

  “And you didn’t think to maybe say she should keep an eye on me? Or that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to let me go home with a complete stranger considering something could have happened to me?”

  Quiet greets me. Enough so I have to look at my phone to make sure the call wasn’t dropped.

  “Are you okay?”

  I sigh. Jenny doesn’t need to worry about this because nothing happened. Paxton made sure of it. And me leaving with him—though I don’t remember it—was probably the safest thing for me.

  “No, nothing happened with the guy I left with. He’s a friend and took me home because I wasn’t feeling good.” Believable.

  “Jesus, don’t scare me like that,” she says. Yeah, she wouldn’t be able to handle knowing someone tried slipping something into my drink.

  “Sorry. I’ll lead with ‘I’m alive and didn’t get murdered last night’ next time.” I try to laugh it off, though the lump in my stomach doesn’t go away. “How’s Jayce?”

  Running water drowns out her voice. “Fine. We’re doing the dishes right now after he helped me make pancakes. Then we have a busy day of playing at the park. He thinks he can whip my butt in basketball.”

  I laugh. “He can.”

  “Besides the point. So if you and your friend want to hang out for a while, by all means, go ahead.”

  Part of me feels like I should go home and snuggle with my boy all day long. I’ve never really been away from him like this before. But I also know that he adores Jenny and loves spending as much time with her as he can. Besides, she won’t be living at home forever. Soon she’ll graduate, get married and have her own kids. Would I really be the worst mom if I spent a few more hours away from home?

  “If you’re sure.”

  “Positive. Here, talk to him yourself.” The line goes scratchy and muffled voices can be heard before Jayce takes over.

  “Hi, Mama. We made chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate syrup on top.”

  “Jayce!” Jenny screeches in the background.

  “Oh, really? Did you need a shower after that?” I can picture his cute little face covered in chocolate. Only because I’ve seen it before.

  He laughs. “Auntie washed my face. Then she said we’re going to the park and spend the day together.”

  “Wow, buddy. Sounds like you’re going to have so much fun.”

  “Yeah. You’re coming home later, right?”

  I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Yeah, I’ll be home when you and Auntie get back.”

  “Awesome. Okay, Mama. I gotta go. Bye!”

  Two beeps let me know we’ve been disconnected. Huh, he’s perfectly fine without me, though I’m not sure I’m okay without him. This is only the beginning.

  One phone call down. One more to go.

  Hitting Katie’s number, I wait for her to pick up. Just as I’m about to hang up, the ringing stops and her tired voice fills my ears.

  “Did you do it?”

  Jesus, what is with everyone? “I can’t believe you were okay with letting me go home with a random stranger.”

  “Whoa, back that up for a second.” Katie’s voice gets stronger. “He wasn’t some random stranger, so chill out. I recognized him from work because he’s always hanging out there when you’re working. Not to mention he told me what he was doing. I felt comfortable letting you go home with him. Then I told Jenny that you wouldn’t be coming home so she wouldn’t worry.”

  Well, shit. Now I feel bad for being pissed off at her.

  “You still don’t know if he was a danger to me.” I’m grasping at straws.

  “He was better than the guy at the bar.”

  I lean back against Pax’s headboard. “By about a million.” I don’t want to get into what happened last night. She’s right, though. I was safe with Paxton. She knew it. Jenny knew it. And somehow, deep down, I knew it.

  “You’re avoiding my question. Did you sleep with him?” She sounds almost giddy now.

  Time to burst her bubble. “Hanging up now.”

  “What?” Katie cries. “You’re going to leave me on the edge of my seat? If you didn’t tap that, I’m gonna kick your ass. He’s so fine.”

  Thank God she can’t see how beat red my face is. Not that it hadn’t crossed my mind a time or two in the lonely hours at night, but this is not the time or place to discuss this. Besides, Katie would have a field day if she knew I was lying in his bed right now.

  “Goodbye,” I say, hanging up the phone before she has the chance to speak again.

  With everything sorted out, it’s decision time. Stay and show appreciation to my gracious host and protector or go home and hide away, making sure all the walls guarding me are back where they belong.

  A knock at the door startles me.

  “Come in.”

  A woman peeks her head inside. “Hey, Kylie. I’m Lizzie, Brecken’s girlfriend.”
She opens the door wider and holds out some clothes. “I brought these so you can change out of your outfit from last night. Paxton said you can use his bathroom.” She points to the door across from the bed. “And when you’re ready, come out and join us.”

  I walk over and grab the clothes from her hands. Nothing fancy. A pair of yoga pants, sports bra, and t-shirt. She’s about my height and close to my body type, so they should work.

  “Thanks. You guys are really sweet to do this for me.”

  She waves a hand in front of her face. “Think nothing of it.” With a final smile, she leaves, shutting the door behind her.

  I wander into the bathroom and nearly drop the clothes on the floor. Holy shit, this is only his bathroom? It’s massive. At least twice the size of my bedroom. Very modern fixtures, cement counter tops and an all-glass enclosed shower with more nozzles than I know what to do with. It’s a little intimidating. I hope they don’t all go off at the same time. How will I wash my hair?

  Stripping out of the horribly wrinkled dress, I turn on the water, thankful only the rainfall showerhead comes to life. Within seconds, the whole bathroom is a steamy wonderland. The minute the hot water beats onto my tense shoulders, I melt and relax. I never want to leave this place. I wash my hair with some fancy shampoo that smells like mint. He even has conditioner. Handy. Or he has girls over. Judging by the lack of girl products, I can probably dismiss that thought.

  The six jets staring at me beg for attention. With a press of a button, they turn on, covering every inch of my upper body in a glorious stream of massaging water.

  It takes all my remaining energy to leave the oasis I found within the shower, grabbing one of the fluffy gray towels off the rack and drying myself off. Changing into the clothes I was given, I wrap my hair up in the towel and wipe off the mirror, getting my first real look at the remnants of last night.

  Dark circles ring my eyes. Hopefully it’s from the makeup and nothing else. I hate feeling helpless and out of control. Even in my younger years, I never drank until I blacked out. I couldn’t give up that much control. To have no recollection of last night doesn’t sit well with me. And it’s scary to think about what could have happened if Paxton hadn’t been there. I could have been another statistic. Or worse.

  A chill runs down my spine. No, I won’t be a victim. Nothing happened. Now I know what not to do if I ever choose to go out again. I will buy my own drinks and I sure as shit will not leave my drink unattended or with someone I don’t really know. If I ever see Chad again, you better believe that my knee will be connecting with his balls.

  My stomach growls, practically eating itself. Time to venture out into the world.

  After brushing my teeth with Paxton’s toothbrush and taming my hair into something manageable, I pad out in my bare feet to the kitchen, where the three of them are all laughing.

  “Hey,” Paxton says, walking over to greet me. “You’re up and about.”

  I nod. “Thanks for letting me invade your shower. I almost didn’t want to leave it.”

  “Yeah, I did the same thing my first time here,” Lizzie says. “It’s hard to go back to a normal one, though, once you’ve had the taste.”

  “My tiny bathroom is going to feel claustrophobic compared to this one.”

  “Anytime you want to indulge, you can swing over,” Pax says, guiding me to a chair.

  The guy sitting next to me holds out his hand. “Hey, I’m Brecken, Pax’s roommate.”

  I shake his offered hand and introduce myself. “Have you been friends for long?”

  Breck laughs. “Pax, Lizzie, and I practically grew up together back in Kansas City.”

  “Kansas City? What brings you all the way out here?” I ask, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl in the middle of the counter.

  “Work. Pax and I are—”

  “Business partners,” Pax interrupts. “Nothing exciting.”

  Brecken draws his brows together. “Uh, yeah. Business partners.”

  I look around their condo and whistle. “You must do well for yourselves to afford a place like this.”

  “It pays the bills,” Pax says, giving me a wink.

  Obviously he doesn’t want to talk about it, like every other time I ask him about his work. I’ll table it for another day. He won’t get off that easily.

  “What do you guys typically do on Sundays? I don’t want to intrude, so if you have plans, let me know and I’ll get lost.”

  Lizzie smiles. “Nonsense. We never have plans on Sundays. It’s the one day we dedicate to lounging around.”

  “And video games,” Brecken says.

  “They play, I read,” Lizzie adds.

  A day with nothing to do? I’m not sure I’ve had that. Honestly, it sounds boring. There’s something about always being busy that’s appealing. Idle hands don’t do well with me.

  “So, you’re bums?”

  Pax laughs. “Not exactly. But I’m game for whatever you want to do. We can go shopping?” I scrunch my nose. “Surfing?” Another scrunch. He taps his lips and snaps his fingers. “Got it. A bike ride.”

  “A bike ride?” I say, skeptically.

  He nods, grabbing my hand and dragging me off the chair. “Yep. That’s what you need. A little fresh air will make you feel better.”

  Lizzie laughs and takes the hair tie off her wrist, handing it to me. “You’ll need this.”

  “It’s just a bike ride.”

  “Take it. Trust me.”

  I’m not one to argue, unless it’s over Jayce brushing his teeth or going to bed, so I do as I’m told.

  “Lizzie, do you have some shoes she can borrow?”

  Didn’t even think about that. I’m guessing dangerous high heels aren’t ideal for riding.

  “Yep, on it.” Lizzie bounds down the hall and quickly returns with a pair of Chucks in hand.

  “Thanks.” I slip on the shoes. Huh, they practically fit me. Only slightly small. Not too uncomfortable, but enough to show my big toe pointing at the end.

  Pax smiles and grabs my hand. “Ready?”

  I shrug. “Sure. It’s just a bike ride.”

  Waving goodbye to Brecken and Lizzie, he leads me out the door and to the elevator, humming some song that I don’t recognize. Not that I would. I already know our taste in music differs since he usually shows up to Grounded with some sort of rock T-shirt on. My country-loving heart isn’t into that type of music.

  When the doors open, I’m expecting a nicely decorated lobby. Instead, it’s a parking garage. He leads me down an aisle and around the corner.

  “You keep your bike down here? I thought most places have a designated place on the main floor.”

  Pax smirks. “I think you misunderstood my meaning.”

  Before I have the chance to clarify, I see it, sitting there on its own. All black and shiny and every sort of death trap I figure they are.

  “Oh,” is all I can say. Now I understand why Lizzie told me to tie my hair back.

  Pax opens a locker on the wall, pulling out two helmets and handing one to me. “Here, you’ll need this.”

  I stare at the helmet in my hand, unsure if I really want to go on this ride.

  “It’s safe, I promise.”

  “I, uh, I’ve never ridden a motorcycle before.”

  That damn smirk comes out again. “Hop on and you won’t be able to say that after today.”

  What the hell. This weekend hasn’t turned out like I planned. What’s another surprise? I tie my hair into a low ponytail and secure the helmet to my head, making sure the chin strap is tight enough. Pax slides his own helmet on and swings a leg over the side until he’s straddling the powerful machine. I follow his lead and scoot close to his body, making sure to wrap my arms around his waist for security purposes. Just like running my hands over his abs was simply for peace of mind. Not because I wanted to cop a feel. At all.

  The bike roars to life; a deafening rumble from the confines of the garage.

  “Ready?”
he asks over his shoulder.

  I nodded, concentrating on keeping my balance and not freaking out. He takes us to the street and as soon as traffic clears, he twists the handle and we take off. I squeal in delight as we head down the road. Pax was right, fresh air was exactly what I needed.

  We take our first turn and I tense slightly but lean as he instructs. Not as scary as I was imagining. I’d even venture enough to say that I’m enjoying myself.

  For the first time in a long while, I feel free.

  And cue the guilt.

  I’m out here, acting like I don’t have responsibilities waiting at home, rather than being with my little boy who needs me. I promised myself after Craig left that I wouldn’t abandon him. Ever. Isn’t this what I’m doing?

  Jenny would kick my ass if she heard my thoughts.

  I’m too lost in my thoughts to realize where we’re at. Before I know it, we’re pulling over to the side and parking in a lot near a beach.

  We take off our helmets and Pax exchanges his for a well-worn baseball hat, the same one I usually see him in. I catch my reflection in his aviators and desperately try to fix the rat’s nest I call my hair.

  “Stop,” he says, pulling the hair tie from my hair and ruffling the strands until they’re bouncy. “You look great.”

  Like I can trust him. He always looks like he’s stepped off a runway. Well, if that runway made a pit stop in a surfer shop or 90s retro store.

  Grabbing my hand, he leads me not to the beach like I was anticipating, but to a small shopping area off to the side.

  “I thought we nixed shopping?”

  Without stopping, Pax drags me through the crowd. No words or indications on where our final destination will be. Loud bells and dings, along with the excited voices of kids fill the air as we close in on the building in front of us. Bright neon and black lights fill the darkened room.

  “An arcade?” Holy hell, I haven’t been in one since I was a kid. Nothing has changed since the last time I stepped foot inside one. Kids running from one machine to the next, hoarding tickets in their hands. Beeps and pings and computerized voices all vie for dominance.

  “Yep, figured this would be a good release for you after last night. Besides, I always hit the arcade for my birthday.”