“What do you mean by touch you? I don’t remember touching you.” She blushes, looking down at her lap.
I still, turning back to face her. Everything in me comes rushing to the surface and I give her everything. “When I woke you up that last time, you got to me in a way that no one else has. You touched something inside me no other has ever gotten close to reaching. You owned me, all of me. It’s never happened to me before and it was overwhelming, hitting me all at once.
“And you literally touched me. You touched my shoulders, my back, my ass,” I say, my voice teasing, hoping to make her smile.
“Okay, I get it.” Her cheeks have turned redder, if that’s even possible. “I just…. I don’t know what to say to that. You hurt me so badly. Before you, I’ve only had one sexual encounter. After that… I promised myself the next time I gave myself to someone it would be in a committed, loving relationship, or I’d at least have some sort of connection with them. I thought we had a connection, but I was wrong.”
I sigh, taking a seat on the other end of the sofa. I knew I screwed up, but hearing firsthand just how much… it fucking sucks. Guilt gnaws at me and I wish I knew how to make this right, how to help her understand.
I repeat her words over in my head and turn to her, curious about something she said.
“You mean one partner? You’ve only been with one person? Faith’s father, right?”
Her face reddens and she nods once, not looking at me. “I’ve only ever had sex once in my life. Before you, I mean,” she rushes out.
My eyes bug out and a lump forms in my throat as I turn towards her. “How the fuck is that possible? I mean, Faith…. How? You’re fucking gorgeous.” I’m utterly baffled, shocked that no one ever swept her up.
“We all have a past,” she whispers. She has a point, but what I don’t understand is how she’s stayed single. She’s not only fucking gorgeous, but she’s funny. She’s also sassy and so easy to get along with. How has she not been fighting lads off her whole life? They must have been queuing up to date her.
“So explain Faith to me, and how someone like you only has sex one time.”
“Because,” she starts, blushing, but a flash of pain crosses her face. For some reason it has me on edge.
“That’s not an answer,” I point out, needing to know the meaning behind her look.
She sighs, giving me quick glance before looking away, twiddling her thumbs.
“I… I don’t even know where to start. I’ll give you the shortened version, okay?”
I nod, too shocked that she isn’t telling me to fuck off to argue about getting the full story. Anything that will help me understand her a little better is better than nothing.
She tucks her knees to her chest, curling her arms around her legs as she stares blankly at the switched-off television.
Watching her tuck herself into a ball, as small as possible, has me wanting to reach out and hold her. Whatever has her curling into herself and looking shaken, like she’d rather be anywhere but here, has my protective instincts rising to the surface.
“My dad died when I was a baby, so I only had my mum and Nan growing up. My mum died of breast cancer when I was a teenager and I was sent to live with my uncle from my dad’s side. I guess he was a little like your dad―an abusive asshole. He was violent, hostile and loved using his fists. It was bad,” she whispers.
I clench my hands into fists, wanting to find the fucker and kill him. I want to track him down and see how he likes taking a beating off someone stronger than him. People who prey on the weak deserve to be punished.
“Why didn’t you live with your nan? I thought you two were close?”
With her cheek now resting on the top of her knee, she opens her eyes, and I’m taken aback at the sheer pain and sadness that reflect back at me.
“She was really ill at the time, so social services wouldn’t even consider me staying with her. They were worried I’d end up caring for her and not the other way around. But I’d rather have looked after her. It’s not like she was ill for long,” she breathes out, clearly upset over it. “They forced me to move in with an uncle I hadn’t even met before. My mum never spoke about my dad’s family. And when I moved there, my nan couldn’t even visit because of the distance. She couldn’t travel. I guess I could have visited her, but at the time I didn’t know how. Travis didn’t give me any money and he never let me use the phone, so I lost touch. By the time I was old enough to read the bus and train times, I didn’t even know if she’d still be living in the same place.”
I nod, trying to process everything she’s told me, but it’s hard to get past the blinding rage towards her uncle.
I have a new level of respect towards her now. She’s been alone, a young girl with no family, and was treated badly. Yet, you’d never know by looking at her. She doesn’t seem jaded, not like me and my brothers. She seems happy, content with her life.
She’s fucking strong, I’ll give her that. I just hate that she was alone going through it. That she had to go through it at all.
Teagan snaps me out of it when she starts talking again, her voice soft, lost in thought.
“I’d pretty much distanced myself from everyone―not that it was hard to do, since the whole town where I lived hated my uncle. I never really knew why at first, but once I got to know him, I didn’t have to guess. His actions, along with all of the rumours, were enough.
“Anyway, it’s why I never dated. I lost my virginity by choice after I crashed a kid’s party from school. I left the day after and three months into living with Nan, I found out I was pregnant. Since then, dating hasn’t been top of my agenda.”
Her tone leaves no room for argument, which confuses me. During the first part of her admission, she seemed lost in the memory, speaking the truth and talking in detail. But the last part was like listening to someone check off a shopping list. She listed facts, yes, but she didn’t speak in detail. Although I know she hasn’t lied about any of it, I can tell there’s more to the story. She’s left a hell of a lot out and I don’t understand why, not when she’s already told me so much.
“What about Faith’s dad? Does he see her?” I ask. I’ve not seen or heard about anyone of the male persuasion coming or going, and it makes me sick when I think of Faith being abandoned like that.
“He’s dead. I went back a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant and was told he died in a pile-up on the motorway,” she says, her eyes closing.
Fuck! She’s been through so much. And Faith, the poor kid; she’s at the age now where she’ll start asking where her dad is and why she doesn’t have one. It fucking pains me to know the tiny squirt will one day have to be told her dad is dead, and deal with that loss.
“What about his parents? Do they see her?”
She shrugs, more tears gathering in those beautiful eyes of hers―eyes that are filled with so much pain and sorrow at the moment. It’s hard to keep it together and not break the face of whoever put that look there.
“They didn’t want to be associated with the town scumbag’s niece. They called me a whore, a liar and told me never to contact them again before they slammed the door right in my face.” Her voice is void of any emotion, but I can tell what they said and did affected her.
Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
I also know firsthand how shit it feels when someone judges you for who your parents or relatives are.
All through school, adults judged me and my brothers, warned their kids―mostly daughters―away from us. Although I tried not to let it bother me, it did.
“Fuck!” I fall back on the sofa, overwhelmed by everything she’s just revealed. “If it’s any consolation, they’re missing out on watching an incredible, beautiful little girl grow up.”
She looks tired, worn out, and I feel bad for bringing up bad memories for her, but then she turns, smiling wistfully. Her eyes open, appreciation filling them. “Yeah, they really are.”
She leans back on the
sofa and we stay quiet for a few moments, both of us lost in our own thoughts. When I realise I still haven’t accomplished what I came here to do, I turn to her.
“I really am sorry for the way I treated you. I acted like a complete prick. This”―I gesture between the two of us―“is new for me. That connection you spoke about earlier? Heaven help me, but I felt it―feel it. I… I can’t keep living my life scared of letting someone good in, worried I’m going to tarnish them. I’ve got a dark past, Teagan, I won’t lie. It haunts me every day, and every night in my dreams, and because of that, I’ve never been able to let anyone in. No one. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise to try. I’d like to try, with you,” I tell her.
And for the first time since I was sixteen years old, I feel unsure of myself, vulnerable. I’ve never put myself out there or put myself in a position where I’ve let someone have the potential to hurt me.
“You really hurt me,” she whispers, and my heart clenches painfully.
“One date. Give me one date. If you’re not interested after one date, I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
“And if I don’t?
Her demeanour changes right before my very eyes. She looks stronger, more sure of the situation now that she’s in control and holds all of the cards.
“I won’t stop until I get what I want, and babe, I’ve always gotten what I wanted. But word of warning―I’ve never gone after anything I truly wanted before, so I won’t hold back.” Her eyes widen, her breath coming in sharp and heavy pants as we stare into each other’s eyes. “So, Teagan, what do you say? Would you like to go out on a date with me? Which would also be another first for me,” I remind her, smiling a little.
“Yes,” she blurts out, startling me. I was certain she wouldn’t give me another chance. But then, she always manages to blow my mind.
“Really?” I smirk.
“Yes,” she giggles.
“Okay. Good. Yeah,” I stammer.
She laughs, and her body finally relaxes for the first time since I arrived.
“When will this date be?” she asks, looking almost shy.
“Um, are you free, say… next week? Oh wait, crap. There’s actually another reason I came to see you,” I tell her, wincing.
“Oh yeah?” she asks, eyeing me warily.
I gulp, knowing I have a lot riding on this. If she says no, I’m fucked. But I’m also fucked if she thinks I only came around here to butter her up before asking for a favour. I don’t want her to think that of me.
Don’t let me fuck this up.
“Yeah, I need a huge favour, and you might not like it….”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
TEAGAN
“You can do this,” I whisper to myself, staring at my reflection in the floor-length mirror.
It’s been a week since Maverick turned up late at my door, giving me a touching apology―well, tried to. He was so flustered and, being me, I couldn’t stand to see him so torn up, even if he did deserve to squirm a bit. Then he dropped a huge bomb on me, asking if I’d do him a favour. A favour I couldn’t possibly say no to, not when people are dying.
He mentioned the trouble going on inside his club briefly at the wedding, but I never knew the full extent until that night. Someone he works with is selling drugs and he’s not been able to find out who―which is where I come in. Knowing that families are losing loved ones and more lives are in danger, I agreed to go undercover to find out who it is. My role is to clean the place, help the strippers get changed between their performances and some grunt work in between. The dancers and waitresses alternate nights, so I’ll be able to get to know all of them one-on-one and weed out the culprit―I hope.
Drugs have played a huge role in my life. My uncle had a bad habit of taking them, but mostly, he sold them. He tried to get me to sell to kids at my school, but when I would come back from school still holding his stash, he got tired of asking me. I didn’t even try to sell them, though he didn’t need to know that. So I’d take my beating, get back up and move on to the next day, praying for something better to happen in my life. Every night I went to sleep wishing for an escape.
If helping catch one drug dealer makes up for all the crap I should have snitched on my uncle for, then I’ll do it. The one thing I always regretted was not going to the police about all the crimes he was committing.
My nan has Faith for a sleepover tonight, as I didn’t want her to be around if something bad were to happen. Not that I think something will, but you can never be too sure.
I’ve had officer after officer go through what’s expected of me, what I should look out for, and what I should and shouldn’t say. It took two hours for the first cop to go through it.
Maybe I should have taken notes!
My breathing grows heavy and I grip the sink, trying to take in deep, steady breaths.
“Teagan, you in there?” Maverick calls softly, knocking on the bathroom door. I don’t answer since I’m too busy hyperventilating.
He lets himself in and takes one look at me before his jaw clenches. “You’re not doing it. You’re not up for something like this and I shouldn’t have asked you in the first place.” He curses, running his fingers through his hair. The motion causes the muscles in his biceps to flex and my mouth waters.
Ever since our night together, I’ve done nothing but fantasise about the man. Every morning I wake up in the middle of a dream orgasm and want to scream in frustration. I know what he can do to me, how it feels, and I want it to happen again so badly. But since he asked me out on a date, I’ve only seen him on a few occasions for a short amount of time. He’s taking me out tomorrow, surprising me when he asked if there was a favourite place Faith liked to go. It melted my heart and I have to admit, it’s made me fall for him a little. Not that I thought I wouldn’t. Deep down, I think I’ve already fallen for him. It’s bizarre, since I hardly know him. It’s too soon to have feelings for him, right?
“It’s fine. Just… please don’t leave me if there’s trouble,” I plead. “Or if I’m a lousy liar and they figure me out.”
He grins, walking over and wrapping his muscled arms around my waist, looking down at me with eyes filled with a deep yearning before kissing the tip of my nose.
“You won’t screw up, babe,” he says, kissing the corner of my mouth next. I love these fleeting moments with him; moments where he doesn’t act like the man who has the weight of the world on his shoulders, or the stress of finding out the cure to cancer. He’s so attentive, soft and easy-going when he’s with me, but there are times when I still see the darkness in his eyes, reminding me he has a hidden past.
“You sure?”
“Positive. You should be more worried about me.” He smirks.
I bite my bottom lip worriedly, my eyes filling with concern. “What? Why? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“Yeah, my girl looks fucking hot in the work uniform I gave her. I’m gonna find it hard to keep my hands off her,” he says lustfully and I grin, by belly fluttering at hearing him call me his girl.
“Wouldn’t want to get done for sexual harassment to your new staff member,” I tease.
“What if she likes it?”
I pretend to think about it, my lips in a side pout before I look into his eyes. “How do you know she will?”
“Well, will you?” He grins, his eyes full of amusement and laughter. The combination is a rare thing to see.
“Most definitely,” I whisper, my core already clenching in anticipation. The need for him to touch me again is as frightening as it is consuming.
“There you have it. I won’t have to worry about misconduct, now will I?”
“Nope. Just don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I flirt, lifting onto the balls of my feet so we’re face-to-face.
“Oh, I don’t intend to,” he says, right before he captures my lips in a fiercely hot kiss. My skin burns, my whole body alighting for him. I move forward so our hips are flush against each
other’s, wanting him closer.
Someone clears their throat in the bathroom doorway, which has us pulling apart. I straighten the short V-neck dress Maverick supplied me with and look to the door, my cheeks heating. Evan―who I found out is a PI, and also Denny’s older brother―stands there, a smirk plastered across his handsome face.
Maverick pulls me against him and Evan’s eyes shoot up in surprise, a teasing glint there. “Are you ready?” he asks, and Maverick grunts.
I look between them before turning back to Evan, nodding. “Y-yeah,” I croak out, my voice filled with lust. When I close my eyes in embarrassment, Evan chuckles. Maverick growls something before I hear Evan step away, his footsteps echoing down the hallway.
“I can’t believe he just caught us snogging each other’s faces off,” I groan.
He laughs, pulling me tighter against him. “Come on, before he comes back,” he says, pulling me towards the door. Before we get to the living area, he leans forward, his breath against my ear. “We’ll finish this later.”
His promise has me clenching my thighs together and I narrow my eyes at him. I’m seriously wondering if they’ll give me time to go change my underwear, because I’m incredibly wet and it’s embarrassing. I’m just glad the dress is black and not white. My cheeks flush at the thought.
“So, you know what you’re doing?” Officer Paul Barrett says when I step into the living area.
I nod. “Yeah. Today, I just do the job. Get to know everyone, but not be too friendly. Basically, treat this as a real job. Don’t ask questions unless they approach me and start asking them.” I repeat the rules they’ve drummed into my head for four days now, wanting to moan and groan. I’m fed up with them thinking I’m an imbecile.
I like Officer Barrett, but his partner, Calvin Grant? Not so much. He seems like a person who doesn’t really want to make the world a better place, choosing to rank the highest in his division instead. He’s a complete joke, and the way he keeps eyeing me is starting to creep me out.
“Good. We’re not going to set you up with a wire, but the next shift we will. Today is going to be a trial run to see how you fit in, how they react to you. Fortunately for us, they won’t be suspicious of a new staff member starting since Maverick really did fire someone a few weeks back,” Calvin Grant says, nodding in Maverick’s direction.
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