Embracing the Dawn

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Embracing the Dawn Page 11

by Jeannie Levig


  Jinx paused and looked at E. J., evidently knowing they had reached a crucial moment in the conversation. Maybe Jinx felt the same way. Maybe it was easier to talk about a heartbreaking childhood than a life of drug addiction and crime.

  “Jinx, I…” E. J. shifted on the bed. “Can we talk about the rest another time?”

  The shadow returned to Jinx’s eyes. She nodded.

  “Maybe tomorrow,” E. J. said quickly. She didn’t want Jinx to think she was shutting her down, that she was just planning her escape—and she hoped she wasn’t. E. J. just wanted to hold her and sleep. She had no idea how—or even if—she would be able to deal with the rest ever, never mind the very next day, but she knew she couldn’t right this second. “This is just a lot. Maybe we could both use some sleep.”

  Jinx looked hopeful. “You’ll be here tomorrow?”

  “You said I could stay the night.” She said I could stay the weekend.

  “Yeah,” Jinx said. “Of course.”

  As they readied for bed, Jinx watched E. J. as if for cues.

  E. J. slipped out of her shorts and tank top. “I want to feel your skin. I want to be close to you.”

  Without a word, Jinx shed her clothes and crawled under the covers.

  E. J. snuggled against her. She needed to feel her warmth, her strength. She needed to feel the Jinx she knew, the one who took care of old dogs and fed homeless people, the one who was so tender and kind and funny. Not a bank robber. Not a convict. She felt Jinx sigh and tighten her arms around her. She let herself sink into the sanctuary of Jinx’s little house and her embrace.

  Grateful for the respite, she let herself escape into sleep.

  CHAPTER NINE

  E. J. woke in the early hours of the morning, her naked body tangled in the soft sheets. Surprisingly, she had slept peacefully and as always with Jinx, awakened with that slow simmer of desire. She was curious that hadn’t changed with everything she had learned. Still, there was that voice in the back of her mind saying, Get out. Move on. This is too complicated. But that voice was always there, no matter who she was seeing. It might be a tad louder now, but it wasn’t nearly as deafening as she would have expected. She reached behind her but found only an empty spot where Jinx had fallen asleep earlier, her arms snugly around E. J.

  She rolled onto her back and squinted into the darkness of the living room. She glanced toward the bedroom doorway to see if any light from the bathroom threw shadows along the floor. Only the night met her. Her eyelids fell closed, then opened. She wanted more sleep, but she also wanted to know where the heck Jinx was. She sat up and rubbed her face. Where was her phone?

  She remembered Taylor texting before dinner, asking if she wanted to hit a club. When she had answered that she wasn’t in town, the questions had come in rapid fire. Where was she? Was she with the hot babe from the wedding? When was she coming home? Was she being careful? E. J. had answered the first and the last, then switched off her phone to return her attention to Jinx. Then what did I do with it? Her purse?

  She climbed out of bed and stumbled toward her little pile of belongings in the corner. She stopped herself. What was she thinking? She still didn’t even have Jinx’s number. She would have to remember to get it this time. Even with everything Jinx had told her, she doubted she would be able to stop thinking about her. Maybe even more so, now. There’s still twenty years of prison to get through, though. What am I going to do with that? She still wanted her number. For now, though, she had no way of contacting her to find out where she had gone in the wee hours of the morning.

  She crossed to the window above the sink and peered out into the darkness to see if Jinx’s car was in the driveway. All she could see was her own. She moved down the counter and craned her neck, closer to the glass. She still couldn’t see. Then, from the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of something out the back window of the house. Or someone? A shrouded figure sat on the steps of the back porch. E. J. crept closer. Was it Jinx? She strained to see. It had to be. Who else would it be? She thought of Kenny, then wondered if anyone else hung around Jinx’s house for kindness or care. Even if that was so, at this time of night, it really had to be Jinx. She cautiously turned the doorknob and peeked out the crack. “Jinx?” she whispered. Her heart pounded.

  The figure turned. “Hey.” Jinx’s voice was quiet. “What are you doing up?”

  E. J. sighed in relief. “I think I woke because you were gone.” She eased the door open a little further. The chill of the night air tightened her nipples and raised goose bumps along her bare flesh. “Are you okay? What are you doing out there?”

  Jinx hesitated, then opened the blanket wrapped around her in invitation. “C’mere. I’ll show you.”

  “I don’t have anything on.”

  “It’s okay. Nobody’s out here, and none of the windows from the other houses face this way.” Jinx beckoned her with the open blanket. “C’mon. I’ll keep you warm.”

  With a glance around, E. J. scurried across the small porch and beneath Jinx’s extended arm. She settled on the lower step between Jinx’s legs, the wood cold against her butt and thighs.

  Jinx enveloped her in the warmth of the blanket and her body, wrapping her arms tightly around her.

  E. J. snuggled in close, relishing the heat on her bare skin and the safety she always felt in Jinx’s embrace. She drew up her knees and tucked her feet into the cocoon.

  “How are you feeling?” Jinx asked.

  “I’m okay,” E. J. said, still a little surprised that it was true.

  Jinx kissed her temple.

  E. J. pressed back into Jinx’s small, firm breasts. “What are we doing out here?”

  “Wait,” Jinx whispered. She closed her lips on E. J.’s earlobe and suckled. Her teeth gently tugged the diamond stud. “Is this all right?”

  “Oh, yes.” E. J. tilted her head back into the hollow of Jinx’s shoulder. “This can’t be why you’re out here, though,” she murmured. “You had no way of knowing I’d come out.”

  “Shhh.” Jinx dipped her head and ran the tip of her tongue down the side of E. J.’s neck. “Trust me.”

  E. J. did trust her—more and more. Strange that would be true with everything Jinx had shared. But that was just it. She had been so honest, so forthcoming. She arched, giving Jinx more access, and sighed. Her body heated.

  Jinx kissed the sensitive spot where E. J.’s neck curved into her shoulder before biting softly.

  E. J. released a quiet moan.

  “Hold the blanket,” Jinx whispered. She shifted and pressed the edge of the fabric into E. J.’s hands, then cupped E. J.’s breasts. She pressed a languid kiss to her neck, then another while she caressed E. J.’s nipples.

  E. J. groaned and closed her eyes. Her simmering desire began to boil. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was vaguely aware they were outside with houses in either direction, but what had Jinx said—something about nobody…no windows? To trust her. Again, E. J. did. She let herself go, let herself feel her nipples swell, let the sensation move lower to find its home between her legs. She tightened her thighs in exquisite response.

  Jinx squeezed her nipples, then rolled them, as she sucked more fervently on E. J.’s neck, then her shoulder, then back to her neck.

  E. J. felt the stiff points of Jinx’s nipples and the heat from between her legs, on her bare back. Arousal flooded her. “Take me to bed.” The words came out in a hoarse whisper.

  Jinx remained silent. Her hands kept moving. Her mouth continued teasing. “Not yet.”

  E. J. moaned in frustration.

  “Open your eyes,” Jinx murmured.

  E. J. did. A thin pink line crested the horizon. The soft hue against the gray sky mingled with the sensations in her body. Somehow, she could feel the color, cool and tantalizing. As the line widened, the pink lightening, then touching the bottom of the clouds that hung low in the dawn, E. J. felt Jinx trail a hand down her stomach and across her abdomen. She teased the edge of E. J.�
�s curls, then brushed her fingers through them. The light pressure shot through her sex.

  Jinx ran the tip of her tongue around the outer edge of E. J.’s ear, beneath the lobe, and into the well, her hot breath heightening E. J.’s need, while her fingers seemed to make love to first one nipple, then the other. A band of rich purple blended into the sunrise as Jinx’s other hand slipped between E. J.’s thighs, a finger dipping into her wetness.

  E. J. bit back a cry of pleasure.

  Jinx’s fingers swirled through her folds, slipping inside her, traversing her swollen clitoris, easing into a pattern that matched the striations of blue mingling with the purples and pinks in the sky.

  E. J. wanted to close her eyes, but she couldn’t. The sensations, the need building in her body, the impending crescendo, all felt too intertwined with the colors in the sky. What if it all vanished when she closed her eyes?

  She remained transfixed on the dawn, mesmerized by the tinge of yellowish gold following the cooler hues, heating the sky just as her body heated. She clenched the blanket and pressed back into Jinx as her climax grew closer. Her breath was ragged, her muscles tense. Just as the sun broke the horizon, she came.

  Jinx stilled, her fingers pressed to E. J.’s clitoris and nipples, her lips against E. J.’s neck. As the orgasm eased, she began again, slowly and gently.

  E. J. groaned with the waves of pleasure as she watched the sun rise fully. Finally, she slumped into Jinx’s arms and did close her eyes. She moaned. “The things you do to me.”

  Jinx’s lips curved in a smile against E. J.’s temple. “Now, I’ll take you back to bed.”

  *

  When E. J. woke again, sunlight peeked through the slit of the curtains on the front window. This time, she was alone. She could feel it. At the same time, though, she also could still feel Jinx—in the bed, in the room, in her.

  She turned onto her back and gave herself over to a long, luxurious stretch. The thin fabric of the sheets caressed her skin. She felt rested, satisfied, well used, deliciously taken care of, and…happy. How could that be with everything she now knew? She should be feeling tense, apprehensive, even panicked. Shouldn’t she? In spite of it all, it seemed only one thing was missing on this unusual morning.

  She looked toward the kitchen, and there it was—a piece of paper stuck in the top of the microwave door with the word coffee scrawled across it. E. J. laughed out loud. Of course, something as crucial as coffee wouldn’t be missing. Of course, Jinx would have made sure of that.

  E. J. crossed to the kitchen and peered into the microwave to find a large, bright yellow Winnie the Pooh and Piglet mug. The brew that filled it was cool. She checked the digital clock and was surprised to see it was already ten forty-five. She realized she hadn’t slept this late since before her kids were born and wondered what time Jinx had left. She set the coffee to heat and headed for the bathroom. On her return, she noticed a note and a key on the dining room table.

  Good morning. You’re beautiful when you sleep. I left you a couple of blueberry muffins in the fridge, and help yourself to anything else you want. You said something about going to the store, so I left the key. It’s the only one I have, so it’d be good if you were home when I get there. If you’ve changed your mind about staying, I understand. Just leave the key under the mat.

  I get off at six.

  Enjoy your day—and thanks for staying last night.

  It was signed with a smiley face.

  E. J. pondered Jinx’s thank you. Of course Jinx knew E. J. had wanted to run. Her own sister wouldn’t even accept her. How many other people had turned away from her when they had heard her story? E. J. was glad Jinx had Reggie and Sparkle. She wondered how they had met.

  She went back to the word home. She glanced around the small house. It did feel like home. She felt as though she was in some kind of time warp or alternate universe when she was here—like she was back with her grandparents and, somehow at the same time, fifty-two years old with all of her life experience intact. Her gaze landed on Jinx’s bed in the middle of the living room, the CD player on the nightstand, the lesbian romance Jinx had said she was currently reading atop a copy of Go Set a Watchman. The weights and bicycle were visible through the bedroom doorway. No trace of her grandparents there. This home was decidedly Jinx’s, and yet, it still felt a little like hers as well. Maybe that was the reason she was still there, why she hadn’t bolted out the door the previous night. Maybe it was because when she was here with Jinx, it seemed like nothing else mattered, nothing else existed—not her kids’ unawareness of her sexuality, not who Jinx’s family was, not the past or even any thought of the future. It was just Jinx and her, together, in this safe little hideaway in the vastness of the universe.

  There they were again, those foreign thoughts she always had any time she was around Jinx, or thinking about Jinx, or trying not to think about Jinx, or trying to convince herself she would never see Jinx again. Today, though, she was staying. She had to hear the rest of Jinx’s story, at the very least. She wanted to give her that. Her stomach churned with apprehension at the thought of what twenty years in prison might hold…and the bank robbery. Did she want to hear about that? She touched the smiley face on the note. She had to. She had to reconcile the things Jinx had done with who E. J. knew her to be, now. Otherwise, she would never be able to trust her instincts again.

  Settled back in bed, her coffee on the nightstand and her computer in her lap, she started with her habitual check of her work email, then pulled up the financial report she was putting together. Her mind wandered a couple of times to her incredible experience of the dawn that morning. Where did Jinx come up with stuff like that? Had she done it with other women? A twinge of something she hadn’t felt since high school when her best friend, Sandra, fell in love tightened in her chest. Jealousy. She had decided at the time it was a ridiculous emotion. She could never be with a girl the way Sandra was with Tim, not and still fulfill her mother’s expectations. She had determined she just wouldn’t feel anything where Sandra was concerned, and later, where any woman was concerned. And feelings had never been an issue with men. Even when she had known Marcus was having an affair, she hadn’t felt jealous. She had actually been relieved he was no longer turning to her for his needs.

  The next time E. J. looked up from her work and checked the clock, it read a little after four. Where had the day gone? Jinx said she got off at six, and E. J. wanted to have dinner ready when she got home. She still had to go shopping, and she hadn’t even taken a shower yet. Damn it! She raced into the bathroom and turned on the water. Thirty minutes later, she closed the front door behind her and hurried down the steps of the porch. As she started toward her car, she rummaged through her purse for her keys.

  “Ay, mami,” a male voice said.

  E. J. startled, coming to an immediate halt. She looked up.

  On the other side of the driveway, a young man in his late teens sat on the porch railing of the house next door. One leg dangled off the edge, the other was bent at the knee, his thigh supporting a sketch pad. He held a pencil to the page. Both arms were fully tattooed, and a black teardrop leaked from the corner of one eye.

  E. J. tensed. Despite a flutter of apprehension, she was a little offended. “I’m sorry. Did you just call me mommy?”

  The boy grinned. “Naw, it means sexy. You know, like, oh, girl, you so sexy.” He winked. “Jinx got herself a hot one.”

  E. J. felt herself blush. She was easily old enough to be his mother. She took in his black fedora, baggy white T-shirt, and khaki pants. He had gangster written all over him, but his gaze was soft and playful. She relaxed. “You know Jinx?”

  “Sí. She’s my neighbor.” He pointed at her house with his pencil. “She helps my little sister with her homework.”

  Of course she does. E. J. smiled.

  “Nice ride.” He motioned to E. J.’s car.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “Be sure and keep it in the driveway.”


  “I beg your pardon?”

  “You know, don’t park it on the street,” he said. “My boys know not to mess with anything at Jinx’s place, and we’ll track down anyone who does. But if it’s across the street, I can’t guarantee anything.”

  E. J. paused and let his meaning sink in. “You watch out for Jinx?”

  He pursed his lips and gave a slow nod. “Sí. She helps my hermanita, and she takes my mom to work if it’s real cold or hot or in the middle of the night. I pay her back.”

  E. J.’s heart went out to the boy. She was touched by the people who looked after Jinx, but more than that, how many lives Jinx impacted with her kindness. “Thank you.”

  He nodded again.

  When she pressed the lock release on the fob and rounded the end of her car, he jumped down from the railing and quickly opened her door.

  He tipped his hat, revealing a shaved head. “Your chariot,” he said, a bright smile lighting his face.

  E. J. paused and studied him. She had read somewhere that a teardrop tattoo meant he had either spent time in prison or killed someone. She couldn’t imagine either. “Thank you—” She faltered. “I’m E. J.” She extended her hand.

  He shook it after shifting his sketch pad under his arm. “Diablo.”

  E. J. smirked. “Is that what your mother calls you?”

  He gave her a sheepish grin. “Pablo.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “Like Picasso?” She gestured to the pad. “May I see?”

  Pablo hesitated but handed it over.

  E. J. stared in wonder at the intricately detailed sketch of the Lexus. Pablo had captured every curve and angle of the body, every delineation of shade, even the shadow cast by the door handle and the tiny knick where someone had bumped it in a parking lot. She thought of the artists for Bad Dog. Pablo had potential. “This is amazing.”

  Now, he blushed and shrugged.

  “I’m serious. You’re quite good.” She returned it to him. “It was nice meeting you, Pablo.” She slipped in behind the wheel. “And thank you for making sure nothing happens to my car…or to Jinx.”

 

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