by Danielle Fox
“By whom?” he asked breathlessly as he struggled to match my pace down the long and quiet corridor.
“His name is Daniel Mason. I’ll get you a photo. He’s not your usual sort of amateur, Mickey, be warned. If he’s anything like he used to be, he’ll be fucking smart, and always one step ahead of you, tread very carefully and never let your guard down.”
Mickey nodded slowly, seemingly processing everything I had just told him. “And why is he threatening her? More to the point, what is the threat?”
“It’s a long story, but there’s a good chance he’ll kill her if he gets hold of her. I want him found. Sooner rather than later. I don’t care who you have to drag in to do it, I’ll pay well, but I want him. Now.”
I burst through the door to my mother’s room, only to find an empty bed. The sheets were crumpled and her pillow still held its indent from where her head had lain, but she wasn’t there.
“Fuck!” I roared as my palm slammed against the wall. I took my phone from my pocket and launched the Internet and desperately typed the name Daniel Mason. Surely his image must be there, he had been a notorious criminal. And then there it was, staring back at me, the vicious face of my father. I felt sick. My stomach churned and my heart felt as if it was in my throat, constricting my ability to breathe, as I looked into the eyes of a monster. I took a deep steadying breath and sent the image to Mickey’s phone before exiting my mother’s room.
“I’ve sent you his photo. Find him,” I ordered as calmly as I could manage as I waltzed past him towards the nurses’ station.
“Is everything okay sir?” A plump girl in a far-too-tight blue medical uniform addressed me as I approached the desk. I could hear my blood pulsing behind my ears and I prayed silently that I would catch up with that man. And soon. There was no doubt about it, I would kill the bastard. And if he had harmed a single hair on my mother’s head, I would torture him slowly first.
“Where is my mother, Gloria Scott?”
“She’s in room twenty-six, sir, right this way.”
“She was in room twenty-six but she’s not anymore,” I roared, unable to calm my anger as it spilled from every pore. “Where the fuck is she?”
The young nurse blushed crimson as her eyes dropped to the floor. “Let me go and check for you, sir,” she stammered before disappearing around a corner.
Mickey was at the other end of the corridor talking to someone on his phone and I knew he had already begun his search for my father. I drummed my fingers impatiently against the smooth wood of the desk as I waited for the nurse to return. I felt torn. I didn’t know whether I should in fact be waiting for her to return or whether I already knew that she wouldn’t have any idea where my mother was. I must have gotten here too late. My father must have got to her first. Could he have taken her out of here without anyone noticing? Probably not, I concluded as I glanced around me and saw doctors and nurses coming in and out of every door.
“Sorry about that, sir,” the nurse’s voice startled me and I spun around on my heel to face her.
“Where is she?”
“She’s back in her room. Another of the nurses had taken her for a bath.”
“Thanks,” I interrupted and raced back in the direction of room twenty-six.
The sight of my mother back in the bed where she should be was more of a relief than I ever could have imagined. I noticed the cuffs that secured her to her bed once more and realised that I had been fretting needlessly. He couldn’t take her anywhere unless he took the bed with him. That was something I was sure somebody would notice. Not to mention getting past the police officer in the corner. Although, I wouldn’t fancy his chances against my father. He was so short and thin that, from a distance, he could easily be mistaken for a teenage boy who has yet to reach puberty. Although his aged face revealed more wisdom.
My mother looked much better, too. Her hair looked clean and hung smoothly around her shoulders and the colour had returned in her cheeks.
“Are you okay?” I asked as soon as I realised I had been staring at her for too long. “Has he contacted you?”
“No. Why, we’re you expecting him to?”
I couldn’t exactly tell her that he had called me and threatened to pay her a visit, could I? I couldn’t crush her like that. She looked almost happy. Her usually sad and tired eyes looked more alive than I had ever seen them. I couldn’t be the one to diminish to that brief glimpse of happiness. I would never let him near her, so she didn’t need to know.
“No,” I lied. “What have the doctors said about the assessment?”
“They want to give me some different tablets to manage the anger. And some kind of therapy.” She rolled her eyes.
“That’s great. I’ll pop out and speak to him,” I said as I stood from the bed-side chair.
“Will you come back?” she whispered. I twisted myself to get a view of her face and saw a glint of moisture in her eye as she seemingly pleaded with me.
“Of course I will, I only just got here.” I gently pressed my lips to her forehead. Her skin felt warm but unfamiliar under my kiss and I felt a thickening in my throat as I realised that that was the first time I had kissed my mother in over twelve years. I had been a terrible son. Sure, she could’ve been a better parent, or that was what I had always told myself, but now I was realising that she may have actually done her best by us. She loved us both just as much as any mother loves her child, I knew that much now. And the sheer terror that she felt of my father was obvious to me now. She should never have allowed innocent children to beaten, or to witness their mother being beaten time and time again, but now I was seeing how she didn’t have a choice. Something I hadn’t seen back then. Too young, too naive, I suppose. The same as she didn’t have a choice when my father told her to send me and Natalie to bed before dinner because we didn’t deserve to eat. What I had then seen as neglect, I was slowly realising was actually her way of protecting us. After all, if he had have caught her feeding us then all three of us would have faced the back of his hand. It was better to be hungry than to have broken bones, I suppose. Even when she took us away he had found us, so what could she have done other than try and please him the best she could? She was terrified of him, but maybe she had put up with my father because she was also terrified for her children. Maybe staying with him was her own way of keeping us safe.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I choked as a stray tear escaped and rolled rapidly down my cheek.
Chapter Eighteen
I wiped a rough hand against my cheek to remove any evidence of my temporary lapse in control as I inhaled deeply. Why was I crying? What was wrong with me? It felt like the past twelve years of the love that I should have felt for my mother, but didn’t, were suddenly gushing over me all in one heavy load, and I was struggling to keep my emotions under wraps. I usually hid my emotions well, but recently I was struggling with that. I wasn’t sure if it was the calming, warming effect that Emily had on me that was bringing out my soft side or the fact that I felt so damn guilty about abandoning my sick mother when she had needed me the most. Either way, crying in public was not something I had ever done before Emily stumbled into my life, and it wasn’t something that I wanted to start now.
My mother’s doctor was standing at the nurses’ station so I quickly approached him and asked for an update on my mother’s assessments. After taking me into a small office-like room he explained how they had found nothing physically wrong with her brain whatsoever and her temperamental behaviour was most likely caused by post traumatic stress.
“So what exactly does that mean? Can she be helped?” I asked.
“What we refer to as post traumatic stress can indeed affect people in different ways. Many people will experience symptoms such as anger, anxiety and even hallucinations when they are presented with a specific trigger. Something that reminds them of that trauma.”
“So we need to find what her triggers are?” I was trying to make sense of his explanation and it seem
ed simple, find her triggers and avoid them and she could live a normal, happy life.
“It’s not quite that simple. Something as small as a single spoken word could be a trigger. With some people it can take more of an actual event to remind them. It differs from person to person. We believe that the man in which she keeps referring to is playing a major part as that’s when her anxiety and panic peaks, when she speaks of him. We’ve changed her medication and we’d like her to attend regular counselling sessions to see if we can get to the bottom of it.”
“That’s great, thank you for your help.” I stood and offered him my hand. He took it firmly before nodding and smiling.
“We’ll do our very best with her, Mr Scott. I’ll keep you informed,” he stated before walking out of the room.
I spent a further hour at my mother’s bedside before saying goodbye and leaving. As much as I was strangely enjoying my time with her I couldn’t bear to be away from Emily any longer. Each time her beautiful face popped into my head I felt like I was suffocating. I didn’t know what it was about Emily that made me crave her so much, but I knew I could never be without her. A mere hour was a struggle.
I was relieved to see two members of my security team outside my mother’s bedroom door when I walked out. I didn’t need to speak to them; I knew Mickey would have briefed them already so I simply nodded my appreciation as I passed the duo. I could relax now knowing that my mother would be safe from harm. My father wouldn’t get the chance to get anywhere near her. I could get back to Emily. And Natalie, shit I had forgotten about Natalie. Although given the fact that she was in fact the one in danger I’m not sure why I hadn’t gone to her first. Ryan was with her, I knew that much and he wouldn’t let anyone near her. With a bit of luck, we could find my father and get rid of the bastard before he even figured out who Natalie was.
I had to see Emily. I practically ran through the car park before jumping into the car and reversing from my space without so much as a backward glance.
I waltzed through my apartment door and seemingly startled everyone inside. Samantha was still there and was sitting beside Natalie on the sofa; both were gawping at me through wide eyes. Adrian and Ryan had also joined the party and had both leapt to their feet as the door had whacked into the wall beside it. I ignored their shocked faces. I mean, seriously, what was with the tension? All I had done was open the door a little too quickly. I strolled straight over to where Emily stood at the breakfast bar and wrapped my arms around her waist before spinning her into my heated kiss. She kissed me back but then slowed as she pushed against my chest with her palms.
“Is everything okay?” Her brows crinkled as she stared up at me and she honestly looked adorable, like a lost puppy or something of the sort. I felt my smile widen.
“Everything is fine. For now.”
“You only kiss me like that in public when something is wrong.” Now she was raising her eyebrows like a parent does when scolding their child.
“I just missed you, that’s all.” I pressed one more soft kiss against her warm lips before making for the refrigerator and opening a bottle of wine. Emily didn’t ask about my father, which surprised me, I would have thought that that would have been her first question. I suppose with Adrian and Samantha here we couldn’t say too much. I had forgotten about those two. I hoped they would leave very soon so I could inform Natalie of the details, that wasn’t something I could discuss in front of almost strangers. And I must admit, I could only cope with Adrian in small doses. I only tolerated him at all for Emily’s sake. He seemed like an okay kind of bloke, but the way he looked at Emily made me want to rip his head off. It was obvious to me that he had some sort of feelings for her. In fact, he was damn lucky I hadn’t already ripped his head off. Emily was mine. And I had never taken kindly to people wanting what was mine, and I certainly didn’t share.
My phone rang, interrupting my disturbing thoughts of exactly what I would do to Adrian if he ever touched Emily, and I entered my office and closed the door before answering it as I noticed it was a number I didn’t recognise. I was surprised to hear an unfamiliar woman’s voice on the other end of line.
“Julian?”
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“It’s Amanda.”
My heart sank as the realisation hit. How could I not have even recognised the voice of my oldest friend’s wife? I struggled to find any words to respond with as the crushing loss seemed to hit me all over again. Amanda had always been so lively, so full of laughter, but now her voice sounded empty, almost dead.
“I just wanted to let you know that the funeral is tomorrow. I hope you can make it.”
“Of course I’ll be there. Is there anything I can do to help?” I should have already helped. I should have paid for, and organised, the whole damn thing. After all, it was down to me that Jason needed a pissing funeral. His wife and two young boys shouldn’t have to struggle to afford one.
“No it’s all taken care of; I’ll text you the details. See you tomorrow.” And then she hung up before I had the chance to ask her how she was holding up. Although the answer to that question, I already knew. I had never heard anybody sounding so...defeated, so lifeless. I sat in my office for a few minutes longer, holding my head in my hands, grasping at my hair and tugging painfully as I tried to force back my tears. I had seen Amanda only once since Jason had died. What sort of fucking friend was I? She was struggling, that much was obvious, and who was taking care of the boys if Amanda wasn’t up to it? My chest ached as I recalled the day, just a year ago, when I had stood next to Jason in the church and watched his two beautiful children christened under the eyes of God. I had never felt as proud as I did that day when I was named Godfather to both Josh and Jake. Me, a godparent? I never would have imagined anyone to ask something so responsible of me, but Jason and Amanda had. They had trusted me with their children’s futures. And I had let them down. It sickened me to think of how long it had been since his death. He deserved to be laid to rest, he deserved to be at peace, but apparently his body was evidence so he couldn’t be released until they had gotten to the bottom of what caused the accident. Evidence? Fucking evidence? He was a father, a husband, a son, and a dear friend, how fucking dare they treat him as a piece of evidence? It had been weeks since Jason’s death, and I had only managed one visit to his family. One fucking visit. I absolutely disgusted myself.
I walked slowly back to where Natalie, Ryan and Emily sat in the living area. I noticed Samantha and Adrian were no longer there, they must have left while I was in my office. I felt deflated. Like my heart couldn’t possibly take any more. I now had to inform Natalie of our father’s threats to her life and then top it all off with the news that my best friend’s funeral was tomorrow. Natalie and Ryan had both known Jason well and were equally as fond of him as I was. As most people who knew him were. Neither had known him as long as I had, but they still loved him all the same. I took a deep breath as I stared at the wall in front of me, desperately trying to keep control of myself.
“That was Amanda on the phone, the funeral is tomorrow.”
Natalie’s eyes instantly saddened and her mouth opened as if she was about to speak, but nothing came out. Ryan simply let out a deep sigh.
“You okay?” Emily was suddenly at my side and winding an arm around my shoulders. I managed a tight smile in response. I would need her with me tomorrow. I had to be strong for Amanda and the boys, I couldn’t let my own emotions get in the way of that and I knew Emily could keep me calm and in control. Emily watched me through sympathetic eyes.
“Will you come tomorrow?” I whispered, my voice sounding strangled.
Tears pooled in her eyes as she stroked a hand across my cheek. “Of course I will.”
I told Natalie and Ryan about my father’s phone call earlier on today and I hated myself for having to do it. Natalie’s saddened eyes had quickly morphed into frightened ones as she listened to me. She didn’t speak. She didn’t say a word. She simply stared at me a
s her eyes seemingly pleaded with me, and it broke my heart. I hated to see her so terrified, but she had to know. And so did Ryan. What if he showed up and I wasn’t there? Natalie needed to be on her guard, and Ryan needed to be sure never to leave her alone.
“I won’t let him hurt you, Natalie. I promise.” And I was making promises again that I wasn’t sure I could keep. I was determined that I could, but that still didn’t make me certain of it.
I was relieved when Ryan took Natalie home shortly before eleven. I couldn’t wait to be alone with Emily. She was the only person I knew could take my mind off Jason and the funeral and my father, and everything else that was torturing my head right now. I craved the warmth of her. The smell of her. I felt safer than I had ever felt when I had her in my arms.
We lay in bed, our limbs entwined with one another’s as her fingers circled against my chest. I loved it when she did that. As simple as the action was, it soothed me like nothing else ever had. My worries seemed to fade away and I felt myself drifting as I gave in to the urge to close my heavy eyes.
I walked slowly to the front of the church where the coffin that cradled my best friend stood. As I reached it I felt my stomach churn when I looked down and saw his cold, stone-like face staring back at me. His skin was icy white and looked smooth, almost like wax. This couldn’t be real. That couldn’t be Jason. I gasped aloud when his hollow eyes flickered open and he glared right at me. What the fuck? I rubbed at my eyes and opened them again to see his familiar brown eyes still fixed firmly on mine. They looked warm. Like they always had. They didn’t look cold and un-lifelike as the rest of him did. Why was he looking at me like that, like he was pleading with me? More importantly, how was he looking at me at all? He was dead. I glanced around me and saw every pair of eyes in the church watching me. Every one of them stood motionless. Every one of them except Emily who was rapidly walking down the aisle towards me. Her expression was one of terror as she stared straight past me. I turned quickly to see my father on the other side of the coffin. His arm wrapped tightly across a heavily pregnant Natalie’s chest.