“Oh?”
He gave her a small smile. “When you’re lying on a hospital gurney, thinking you might not make it, you see your life from a whole new perspective.”
“I’ll bet. It’s probably a lot like having someone with a hand on your throat.”
“Probably. It’s like what you said about what you want in your life.”
“Is that what made you think about kissing me?”
“It made me think about a lot of things. The truth is, I saw a lot of unfinished business. I saw Kelly Mattis wearing a pink dress covered with blood. I saw my parents. I told myself I couldn’t die. I couldn’t let them learn about my getting killed via some phone call from some faceless person they didn’t know. I also saw you, Lizzy. All these years, I’ve been in contact with your brother. I knew you weren’t married. I couldn’t die without seeing you. While I wasn’t dreaming about you every night, I felt there were things left unsaid, like unfinished business. You hated me, and I needed to know why, needed to set that straight. I couldn’t stand in that uncertain doorway any longer. I had to know why you never answered my letters. I couldn’t die, and I couldn’t live with so many unanswered questions anymore.
“So here I am. Back to take care of at least some of the unfinished business and get some answers. I just didn’t have any idea how much business was here waiting for me.”
Lizzy held up his badge and then let it drop back to the table. It made a sound a lot like the thud his coffee mug had made. Without a word she stood. Her feet, still bare, were silent on the wood planks of the floor as she stepped to the sliding glass door at the far of the room where he’d sat with Tony. She only stared out and didn’t open it.
Watching her back, he was glad she hadn’t headed the other way to the door that led down out of the loft and out of the barn. He remained where he was, allowing her to accept all of his words. He knew it was in a nutshell, but for now, it had to be enough.
When she spoke, she did so as she stared out at the orchard, and he had the feeling she was talking more to herself than to him. “We were so young. And careless. You have no idea how many times I’ve wondered how different things would have been if we hadn’t been parking by the tunnel, if we had gone to Lexi Harman’s house for her after-dance party.”
“Don’t.” He got up and closed the gap between them. With her back against his chest, he leaned closer, breathing in the soft scent of her hair. He put his hands on her arms and gently caressed her. “We can’t change any of it. We can’t go back, and it’s stupid to even want to. We can only concentrate on what lies ahead for us. There is only now. We can plan for tomorrow, but we can only live now. If there is one thing I learned when I thought I might die it’s that I don’t want to waste any time. I don’t want to waste another second at all.” He gently cupped her face in his palm, forcing her first to look at him and then pivot slightly to face him. “Not another second.”
She sucked in a breath. Against his palm, she nodded. “Me, either. Not another second.”
He held her close for several long, silent moments. “Are you ready to venture downstairs to help my parents deal with about a hundred little kids?”
The smile she gave him was quick but genuine before she nodded again. “Do you think your mom has a scarf I can wear?”
“I’m sure she has something that will work for you.” He held her for another long moment, breathing past the way she fit so perfectly against him. The kiss he gave her was a bit more lingering than he planned. He was afraid to do too much, or his dad would be handling the first-graders alone. She waited while he strapped on his gun, slipped his badge into his pocket, and put on a jacket. He held her hand, needing to keep her as close to him as possible, as together they left the loft. It was a brilliant fall day that he thought was a beautiful new start for them.
Chapter Fifteen
Chief Franklin Daniels pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger before he watched the sun rise. He took a gulp of too hot coffee that burned his throat all the way down to his belly.
“You’re still upset, Frank.”
He closed his eyes, doing his best to ignore the sexy emphasis Kathleen Gresden put on each word. She always spoke to him like a purring sex kitten. Damn, the last thing he needed to think about was a kitten, any kitten. It reminded him of her stupid son and his craze to strangle something in order to get off.
She tried to appease him, as she always did, by undoing her blouse and showing him her glorious tits. The next thing he knew she straddled him as he sat on the kitchen chair. She rubbed against him like a cat needing attention. He hated himself for having such a weakness when it came to her. He hated her more for acting on that weakness and taking advantage.
Not giving him a chance to reply, she flattened her lips against his and forced her tongue into his mouth. It reminded him of the fantastic things she could do with that tongue, many of which she’d done just a few hours ago.
He allowed himself a few moments to enjoy the kiss then, disgusted, he twisted away and out of reach. He told himself he was tired of playing games. Truth was, he was tired of her playing him. She’d been playing him for eleven long years. It was time to pick up his toys and go home.
She tightened her thighs on his legs. “Oh, what’s that I feel, so big and so hard, Frank? Is that your gun?” She leaned close and snaked her tongue up his neck beneath his ear, knowing damned well that little subtle action would make him rock hard.
He tried to ignore it. Not possible.
“Stop,” he let out, feeling like she sat on his chest and prevented him from breathing instead of sitting on his lap.
She wiggled her crotch against the bulge in his jeans. Damn her. “You don’t really want me to stop.”
“I need to get to work.” He really needed to get away from her. It was as if she cast a spell on him. And ever since the first time he’d slept with her—which he’d thought was heaven at the time—he’d been in hell from all her blackmail.
“I could follow you, show up in your office ten minutes after you get there, and we could do it on your desk. Remember how much you liked it the last time we did that?”
“I remember you held it over my head for a long time.”
He also remembered how she’d managed to have a little camera attached to her purse and caught it all on video. She told him she’d captured it all on video so she could relive the moment whenever she wanted to. Lying bitch.
“A girl’s gotta use whatever bit of ammunition she can get her hands on.”
He was amazed, actually, at how much ammunition she’d managed to accumulate on him. As he recalled, she’d jumped from beaten-down victim, wife of an abuser, to a controlling monster in a matter of weeks. He literally bit his tongue to keep from pointing out to her she was no girl. He was pretty sure she had a line on her face for every time Randy Gresden hit her or slammed her up against the wall.
“Thanks to your son who can’t keep from choking something or someone while he has one hand around his cock, things are just a little out of hand, wouldn’t you agree?”
She slowly licked her lips while making certain he saw her lick them, and met his gaze with a very knowing grin. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to fix everything. You always do.” She held his hand for a second before she sucked on his middle finger.
He didn’t know what got a hold on him or where he found the courage, perhaps it was hidden in the woods outside Marston’s Tunnel where he’d stood in the dark a few hours ago. All he thought was no more, he’d had enough. He yanked his finger from her mouth, ignoring the seductive pop sound that echoed through his kitchen. Then he stood up, dumping her off his lap and onto the floor where she landed on her ass.
She tossed the fake colored blond hair out of her face and jumped to her feet, snarling like a badger he’d once encountered on a hunting trip. “How dare you!”
He stuck to his guns. He didn’t back down. He didn’t even step back when she invaded his s
pace. “Don’t you understand? I don’t know a way to fix this. I can help hide Stan, for a while, like you asked last night, but not for long. I’d bet my next paycheck Lizzy Signorino is going to be my office when I get there to formally charge him with assault. I can try to smooth it, but the truth is there is a recorded 9-1-1 call. There’s Swornson as a witness.” There was also a text on his phone from Kathleen, asking for help. Damn her for that, too.
“And what a great witness Swornson is,” she chimed in. “He likes his blow jobs as much as you. Maybe more.”
He ignored her. “There were pictures taken at the clinic. There are bruises on her throat. There are medical reports of the assault. This is no longer a ‘he-said, she-said’ incident. This isn’t a Teacher, he pushed me down on the playground. Okay, say you’re sorry. Now everything’s good and normal situation. If I try to sweep this under the rug and it backfires, he may end up in court trying to explain to a judge how he needs to jack off the way he does. And I could be standing right next to him. You could start by telling me what kind of drugs he’s doing. We could get him some help.”
The grin she gave him was pure uncontrolled evil. She shook her head in denial. “He doesn’t need help.”
Frank doubted that.
“You’d better figure out a way to make it a normal situation, Frank. Because if my boy goes down—ruined by that little slut who runs the bakery—then you go down, too. And I’m sure all of those grievances against Swornson that you’ve ignored the past year or two won’t bode well on your record.”
Her features smoothed; once again she became the happy, ray-of-sunshine woman so fast it was as if the hissing animal of a few seconds ago hadn’t existed. “Although I’d love to fuck you on your desk, I have to get to work. I just remembered today’s field trip.” She buttoned up her blouse before she checked her phone. “Doesn’t that sound fun?”
She straightened her clothes and patted her hair. A few seconds later, Kathleen Gresden left without another touch or kiss. The kitchen was blessedly quiet.
Frank sat on the chair with a heavy sigh. Fatigue gripped his bones, leaving him as though he’d just survived a tornado. As a younger man, he’d had such plans, so many ideals. How had he gotten here?
His phone signaled a text arriving. He contemplated ignoring it. He already knew who it was.
I could use some breakfast.
Her idiot son had no idea how much trouble he was in. He just figured he had the main cop in town wrapped around his little finger and that Frank was at his beck and call.
All because of one mistake. One mistake he could never fix.
He thought about texting back fuck off and letting the heads roll where they may.
In the end, he didn’t. In the end, he picked up a breakfast sandwich and the largest cola that was offered at the fast-food drive thru and delivered it to Stan. He considered adding a box of rat poison to the soda.
Frank was already in hell. It wasn’t like it would make matters worse.
****
Downstairs in the barn at the apple orchard, Lizzy discovered Robert and Ginna had set a long, low-to-the-floor table filled with cups of apple cider. Large doors, open on three sides of the barn, let in sunshine along with a soothing fall breeze.
“Good morning,” Ginna said as if Lizzy coming down from the loft with her son was nothing unusual.
She did her best to ignore the heat that crept into her face. “Good morning.”
Mac’s mom put her at ease. “We really appreciate your help this morning. I don’t think Robert and I could take care of all the kids we expect today without your and James’ help.”
“I’ve probably got enough apple fritters at the bakery to cut up and serve if you’d like me to go get them,” Lizzy offered.
“Tony already delivered them. That was so nice of him. I put them over there on the workbench counter with a knife and a few trays if you wouldn’t mind cutting them into smaller pieces.”
“Is it possible I could borrow a scarf, something to—” She carefully put her fingertips on her throat. “—cover this up? I didn’t think to pack something.”
Since Ginna didn’t ask what happened, Lizzy figured Mac had told his parents the entire story. “Of course. I’ll be right back.”
When Ginna stepped away, Lizzy plucked out her phone from her pocket and speed dialed her brother. In the middle of the second ring, he answered with, “Hey, how are you feeling this morning, sis?”
“All right, I guess.”
“You sure?”
“Yes…no…maybe.”
She heard him let out a heavy breath. “Tiffany and I got things here, so just take a day off, a few if you need them.”
“Tiffany’s helping?”
“Yes. And Dane’s coming when he gets off work. We’ll get things ready for tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” While she liked the idea of a rest, it felt as if she wasn’t really needed.
“You’re welcome. You know I’d do anything for you. For now, stay with Mac.”
It was what she wanted more than anything—to stay with Mac. The memory of him making love to her filled her with a river of warmth. “You knew he was FBI?”
“I did.”
It was her turn to let out a huffy breath. “Did you happen to know Stan was into choking things while he…”
“That part was pretty much a secret.”
Her next breath was a sigh of relief. “So are there any other secrets I should know about?”
“Offhand, not that I can think of.”
“Thanks for delivering the apple fritters.”
“Let me know if you need anything else.”
She looked up. Ginna stood nearby holding a scarf. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Keep me posted,” he instructed. “And stay close to Mac. I mean it.”
“I will.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
A few moments later, after tying a fashionable gray scarf loosely around her neck, she picked up a knife to cut the apple fritters into pieces for their little visitors. She smiled to find Mac’s parents also had apple slices with cinnamon and sugar for any kids with food allergies.
It was good to have busy work. It took her mind off her throat and how she felt the need to hide it under a scarf. She realized then that Mac making love to her, then sharing the shower, distracted her enough so she never thought about studying it in the mirror.
She was just finishing cutting a tray of fritters when the first school bus arrived.
Being with the little kids was exactly what Lizzy needed. Seeing their excitement, witnessing their natural curiosity and wonder at its best as they tried to pick high apples, hearing their joyful chatter and squeals as they rode on the wagon Mac dragged with the tractor kept her smiling. Riding on the wagon right behind Mac, watching his strong back as he maneuvered the tractor as if he’d been driving one all his life, and meeting his glances back at her were all part of their own secret communication.
After the second class of children finished filling their small bags with apples, they all sat down at the table, which was now set with new paper cups and cut apple fritters. With a pitcher of apple cider in hand, Lizzy began filling cups while Robert gave a demonstration about the different types of apples and how when an apple is cut through the middle, the core resembles a star.
“I didn’t know you were out here lending a hand at the orchard.”
She never considered she might see Stan’s mother today. It took a moment for her to remember the woman was a teacher at the grade school. “Oh, hi. That’s right, you teach first grade.”
“Yes.” Kathleen stared at her for a long moment before she gave a quick glance to the scarf on Lizzy’s neck. “So, what? You don’t have enough to keep you busy at the bakery?”
“I had too many apple fritters, so I thought the kids could have a treat today.”
“I see.”
She couldn’t help but wonder just what
Kathleen could see. She wondered if Stan had shared with his mother what happened yesterday or if the woman had a clue as to what Stan did with the cats in his shop. She decided it wasn’t her place to share the secrets. “It’s nice to see you, but I need to go and get ready for the next group of children. Robert and Ginna are trying to squeeze in all the classes due today before the rain comes in.”
She took a tentative step away. She needed Mac, needed to know he was close, that she was safe. Kathleen’s next words made her pause. “You haven’t seen Stan this morning, have you?”
“No, no, I haven’t.” She didn’t add that she hoped to never see him again.
“I guess you wouldn’t see him if you got out here to the orchard really early this morning, and you weren’t at the bakery.” Kathleen’s words were laced with sweet sugar, and she spoke them with a knowing ring in her voice.
“I guess not.” Lizzy’s jaws hurt from the smile she kept on her face. “You haven’t seen Stan, have you?”
“No, I thought when he didn’t come home for tacos maybe he was with you all night.”
She shook her head. “No.”
Stan’s mother tossed her head slightly. “Oh, well, when you see him, you can tell him Elliot and his mama ate all the tacos.”
“Sure.” Lizzy didn’t plan to tell Stan anything. She planned to stay as far away from him as possible. Maybe Stan was hiding somewhere and his mom didn’t know a thing. But the direct way Kathleen stared at her and smiled before sauntering off told her Mommy knew more than she was saying.
A few moments later, Lizzy leaned against the fridge in the back room of the large barn. She’d feigned needing more apple cider in her pitcher. What she’d really needed was to breathe. In that forced, sweet smile Kathleen had given, Lizzy saw Stan grinning at her, calling her a slut.
Breathe in. Breathe out. She closed her eyes, wishing she could close out the memory of the feel of Stan’s hand cutting off her air. While Mac and the orchard had diverted the horror of that moment, it amazed her how easily it could slide back to the front row. It amazed her even more how it affected her, leaving her chest tight, her hands clammy, and the bitter, metallic taste in her mouth that burned her throat. She took a deep breath, determined not to let the episode control her.
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