Alexander stopped kissing her and looked at Christian. The tip of Christian’s tongue poked out as he wet his lips. His face was just a few inches away.
“My turn.” Christian leaned down and kissed Mila again. Unwilling to be a third wheel, Alexander started kissing the side of her face. Closing his eyes, he sucked and nibbled, moving down her cheek, to her chin, to—
Alexander sucked on the plump lips and delved deep with his tongue. There was a moan and then—
Alexander opened his eyes and found himself kissing Christian.
He jerked away.
They stared at each other, breathing hard.
“Oh, I know it was an accident, but this was so hot!” Mila said. It felt as though her voice was coming from very far away. “Come on, guys, do it again! For me?”
“I don’t mind, sweetheart, but I think your boyfriend does,” Christian said with a sly grin. His eyes gleamed as he held Alexander’s gaze. “I think he’s scared.”
Christian’s lips were full and shiny. Alexander averted his gaze. “I’m not scared. I just don’t want it.” He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, pulled Mila close and kissed her.
He felt Christian lean close to his ear and whisper,
“Liar.”
The word jolted him and kept nagging at the back of his mind as he touched Mila to get her off. It was still on Alexander’s mind as he fucked her, carefully not watching Christian as she gave the guy a blowjob.
By the time Christian left and Mila was asleep, Alexander was still thinking about it. Liar.
Liar.
He got out of the bed, threw a blanket over his shoulders and went out onto the balcony. A cold November wind hit his bare skin, stinging his bare face and hands and sending chills up his spine.
Liar.
A memory, old but not forgotten.
Liar. His mother’s broken, hysterical voice. Then his father’s excuses and promises that it was the last time, that it would never happen again. His father had lied, of course. Every single time.
Alexander had been five the first time it happened. He woke up to the sounds of yelling and sobbing coming from their parents’ bedroom. Confused and scared, he crept out of bed, padded down the dark hallway and inched open the door as silently as possible.
“I’m sorry—I’m sorry,” Edward Sheldon kept saying. “It just happened! I don’t know why—I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing—”
“You were sober enough to get it up and stick it in his ass!” his mother yelled, her lovely face red and voice hoarse from crying. “Faggot!” She threw a vase at his father and missed. It shattered against the wall, making Alexander flinch and stare at the broken pieces on the floor. “Faggot! Cocksucker!”
At the time, he hadn’t understood what the words meant, but as it happened again and again, and their fights got louder and uglier, and more things got broken, he had learned the meaning of the words.
He had started staying at Jared’s house until Jared’s parents eventually took him in when he was fourteen. Alexander’s parents didn’t care: his father was too busy fucking someone on the side and telling Tanya how much he loved her, and his mother was a broken woman—broken by lies and her own inability to let go of the man who didn’t deserve her love.
Except Alexander didn’t think it was love. Love was the quiet, affection and attachment he felt for Mila. He wasn’t obsessed with Mila. She didn’t drive him crazy. If Mila cheated on him, he would be… reasonably upset, but he would tell her to leave and never return. He would get over it. He would never share his partner, but he would never be the clingy, hysterical wreck his mother had become. Tanya was obsessed with the man, unable to let go and see anyone but him.
Sometimes he wasn’t sure which of them he despised more.
Liar. Christian’s voice echoed in his mind again.
Alexander closed his eyes and breathed the cold air in.
Chapter 5
Alexander wasn’t in a good mood when he arrived to pick up Mila, and her tardiness didn’t improve his mood, either.
“I’m so sorry,” Mila said when he called her. “But I really need to hand in this assignment today. Professor Rutledge will fail me if I don’t. It’ll take half an hour at most. Wait for me?”
“Fine.”
He hung up, put his cell phone into his pocket and leaned against the wall, prepared for a long wait.
He eyed the students milling around. With finals coming up soon, pretty much everyone looked stressed.
But not everyone was stressed.
Alexander’s gaze fixed on the student who looked as carefree as ever, smiling and laughing as he talked to others.
Christian.
Alexander felt his body tense, for no reason at all. He inhaled deeply and relaxed, his eyes still on Christian.
After a few minutes of watching, Alexander came to the conclusion that the guy was a shameless flirt. The way he smiled at people was… indecent. To be fair, Christian wasn’t doing anything particularly outrageous—he just smiled and looked people in the eye—yet it was enough for other students to stare, and drool, and try to touch him. The guy couldn’t possibly be unaware of the effect he had on people, so it meant he was doing it on purpose.
Alexander’s lips twisted. He couldn’t stand flirts; he had zero tolerance for them. Most of them didn’t know the meaning of the word loyalty. They loved being admired and wanted; one person was never enough for them. They were everything he despised.
His eyes followed Christian as the guy moved from one group of students to another. He watched as Christian lay a hand on some guy’s shoulder and laughed. The guy’s eyes practically glazed over with lust as he stared at Christian’s lips.
Alexander watched as Christian stepped away from the guy and wrapped an arm around some pretty girl’s waist. The girl put a hand on Christian’s chest and stroked it.
Disgusting.
Christian stepped back, winked at the girl, kissed her on the cheek and turned—
His smile froze on his lips when he saw Alexander.
After a moment, Christian muttered something without even looking at the students around him and made his way to Alexander.
“Got bored of breaking hearts?” Alexander said. The words came out sharper than he had intended.
“Huh?” Christian said, coming to a halt very close to him—again. The guy either had no concept of personal space, or preferred to pretend he didn’t.
“You know what I mean,” Alexander said, glancing at the guy and the girl who were still staring dreamily at Christian.
Christian glanced back and chuckled. “Breaking hearts? Are you serious? I was just talking to them.”
“Of course you were,” Alexander said.
Christian leaned against the wall next to him, his head cocked as he studied Alexander. “Were you watching me?” he murmured, with a hint of a smile, his fingers playing with the sleeve of Alexander’s jacket.
“I was waiting for Mila.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Christian’s fingers traveled down his arm to Alexander’s wrist. “Were you watching me?” he murmured again, fingers sliding under the sleeve and stroking Alexander’s skin.
“I was bored,” Alexander said, without looking at him, his body rigid with tension. What was it about this guy that got him so worked up?
“And there was no one else to watch, right?” Christian’s thumb stroked his wrist gently.
Alexander fixed his gaze on the girl who was in his direct line of vision. “You were the only familiar face.”
Christian laughed softly. “You’re such a creep.” His fingers continued to stroke Alexander’s skin.
“You’re the one trying to creep me out,” Alexander said, still looking at the girl. “Is this some kind of gay chicken? I’m not scared so easily.”
“You were pretty scared yesterday after you kissed me.”
“I wasn’t scared. I didn’t kiss you. I didn’t know it was you. It was a si
lly mistake.”
“Hmm… okay.” Christian took his hand in his. “Are you scared now?”
Alexander went still. The hand in his was a little smaller than his own but much bigger than Mila’s and unmistakably male.
“What are you playing at?” Alexander bit out. He didn’t remove his hand. He would be damned if he let this guy think he could be so easily flustered.
“To be honest? No idea.” Christian laughed a little. “I just like ruffling your feathers.” Christian entwined their fingers. “Still not scared?”
Alexander looked in front of him. It was completely surreal. His fingers were entwined with another guy’s. He was holding another guy’s hand. “No.”
“So you watch me creepily when I don’t know about it, but you wouldn’t look at me when I’m actually talking to you. Okay. But if you keep looking at that girl, she’ll start thinking you have a thing for her. She’s already giving you hopeful looks. You’ll break the poor girl’s heart, you know.”
“Pot, kettle, black.”
Christian gave him an innocent look. “I don’t break people’s hearts. Being nice and friendly doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Alexander snorted. “Just admit you’re a flirt and a player.”
Christian narrowed his eyes. “Even if I am—and I’m not saying I am—so what? Why do you care?”
“I don’t care.”
Christian raised his brows, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “For a guy who doesn’t care, you sure seem to have a lot to say about it, Alec.”
Alexander leveled him with a look.
Christian grinned, squeezing their fingers tighter. “What? Something bothering you, baby?”
“Don’t call me that,” Alexander grated out.
“What? Alec or baby?”
“Both.”
“Okay,” Christian said, nodding with a serious expression on his face.
Alexander was instantly suspicious. “Okay?”
“Sure.” Christian smiled at him softly.
The smile was…disconcerting.
Alexander looked from Christian’s lips to his eyes. “There has to be a catch.”
“No catch,” Christian whispered.
“Hi, Chris!” some girl called out, waving.
Alexander flinched, realizing how close his face had been to Christian’s.
“Hey, Donna,” Christian said with a rather strained smile.
The girl looked at Alexander curiously. “New boyfriend?”
Christian leaned into him and planted a kiss on Alexander’s scruffy cheek. “Yep. Gorgeous, isn’t he?”
The girl nodded, showed him a thumbs-up and walked away.
Alexander unclenched his jaw. “Do you get off on annoying me?”
“Get off? Not exactly,” Christian said a laugh. “So I annoy you, huh? I feel pretty damn proud. I bet not many people can say they get any kind of unscripted reaction out of you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Cocking his head, Christian studied him with unusually serious eyes. “I don’t know… It’s like you have some kind of filter inside of you. It only allows you to show appropriate reactions and emotions, suppressing the hell out of everything else.” He chuckled a little. “Am I making sense?”
“No, you aren’t,” Alexander said.
“See, you’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Retreating behind the mask. Refusing to look at me. It’s like you’re scared to look at me for long.”
Alexander turned his head back to him. “Why would I be scared to look at you for long?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“Actually, yes. I’m scared,” Alexander said. “I’m scared of looking at you because I might accidentally strangle you.”
Christian’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Okay.” He took Alexander’s hands and put them on his neck. “Come on, then.”
Alexander looked into the dark brown eyes. There was challenge in them now. Challenge and something else. Christian ran his tongue over his lip. Christian’s pulse beat rapidly against his palm.
And Alexander realized he really wanted it. He wanted to squeeze. He wanted to squeeze his hands around this neck and watch Christian gasp, pant and beg him to stop.
His hands tightened. Christian’s lips parted. Alexander leaned in—
“Hey, guys!”
Alexander dropped his hands and stepped back, more than a little disoriented. What the fuck was that?
He was only vaguely aware of Mila’s pecking him on the lips and saying something to Christian. His heartbeat was still thundering in his ears.
He registered what Mila was saying too late.
“…come tomorrow evening, then?” Mila said.
Christian threw a strange look at Alexander and hesitated. It was the first time Alexander had seen him look unsure about anything.
“I don’t know,” Christian said, raking a hand through his hair. He was slightly flushed. “I’m pretty busy this week, actually. Gotta get ready for finals—”
Mila laughed. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, Chris. Just say it. There’s no need for any excuses, really.”
Christian gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry. But I’m really busy, actually.”
Mila kissed him on the cheek. “It really was fun, but all good things must come to an end, I guess.” She took Alexander’s hand, entwining their fingers. “See you around.”
“Yeah,” Christian said, glancing at their hands before shoving his own into his pockets and turning away.
Alexander watched him go.
“Alexander?”
He looked at Mila. She was frowning slightly. “Were you fighting with Chris? You had your hands around his throat.”
Alexander’s mouth went dry.
“He annoyed me,” he heard himself say. It wasn’t a lie. Why did it feel like one?
Mila shook her head. “He gets under your skin so easily. He’s hot, and the threesome was fun, but I’m almost glad we won’t be doing it anymore. He puts you in a bad mood. You’ve been kinda moody since the whole thing started.”
“Let’s go home,” Alexander said. “Did you finish the assignment?”
Mila didn’t call him on his blatant change of subject. She never did.
Christian would have.
Alexander pushed the odd thought out of his head.
Chapter 6
When Christian was four, the caregiver at his daycare had sent him home with a note that said:
“Christian is a very smart, active boy, but he has a problem: he gets too attached to other children’s toys and ends up crying when the owner takes the toy back.”
Sixteen years later, as Christian walked home from classes, he thought ruefully that apparently very little had changed since then.
Except he wasn’t attached to Alexander Sheldon. He just wanted to get naked and sweaty with him—without his girlfriend present.
Chuckling, Christian shook his head. He liked Mila: she was hot, nice enough, and fun to be around. Normally, when such cute girls invited him for a threesome, Christian didn’t think twice. Sex was fun, and while he might prefer guys, he had nothing against sex with girls once in a while. The problem was, he had agreed to the threesome for all the wrong reasons. Yeah, he was reasonably attracted to Mila—she was beautiful—but it was her boyfriend who pushed all the right buttons in him. When it had turned out that he and Alexander were simply meant to share Mila, Christian was disappointed but told himself that at least he could enjoy the view.
The problem was, enjoying the view wasn’t enough anymore. Sure, the guy was a bit of a creep, but every time Christian saw him, he wanted to rip those impeccable clothes off and…
“You’re an idiot, Chris,” he muttered. Crushing on straight guys never ended well. Been there, done that. And it didn’t matter that he was reasonably sure Alexander was attracted to him, too. Most people were bi-curious at some point in their lives; it didn�
�t change a thing. Alexander was in a serious relationship, and he would never want a “flirt” like him. He’d made it clear how much he despised Christian.
Yeah, he’d done the right thing by declining Mila’s invitation to join them again; last night had been bad enough.
Christian licked his lips, remembering Alexander’s firm lips against his own, Alexander’s tongue in his mouth. It had been an accident, of course, but afterward, he could barely focus on pleasuring Mila, staring hungrily at Alexander’s lips and wanting them again. And as he watched Alexander fuck Mila, he badly wanted to take her place. He wanted to shove her away. He wanted to be under Mila’s boyfriend. He wanted Alexander to fuck him.
“Idiot,” Christian muttered again. He needed to get laid, pronto. A good, hard fuck was exactly what he needed to get the guy out of his mind.
Alexander Sheldon wasn’t for him.
Chapter 7
The club was full of shadows and flashing lights. The air smelled of chemicals, drinks and sweat. People crowded the dance floor, indistinguishable, unidentifiable. Occasionally one or two were picked out by a random spotlight, given their moment of fame, and then absorbed once again by the heaving mass.
This wasn’t Alexander’s scene. With every passing minute he regretted letting Mila talk him into it. But she had been tired and stressed out from all the studying and wanted to take her mind off the upcoming exams, and he had given in.
The bar at least had Yuengling, which was a relief, and Alexander picked at the label until the upper half of it was gone. It was so loud in there, and the lights were both low and pulsating, which gave him a headache.
“Come on, don’t be a mood killer,” Mila yelled into his ear. “Let’s dance!”
“You know I hate dancing.”
“But everyone’s dancing! Come on! I wanna dance!”
“Then go dance,” Alexander said and took a sip from his beer.
“Seriously?” Mila put her hands on her hips. “You’ll let some other guys dance with me? You don’t care?”
“I trust you,” Alexander said flatly.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been so moody the last couple of days. I’m the one stressed out by the finals, not you!”
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