Jason was keeping his attention split between Matt and David. Every five minutes he would glance over at David but it was difficult to read what he was thinking. He had no idea David could be so insecure. There was something disturbing, yet flattering about it. Jason knew it was wrong to take any pleasure in it, but it was difficult to keep the smirk off his face.
"Did you know that Jason is now a published writer?" Cynthia offered after the conversation began to dry a bit.
"Yes," Matt said as he looked over at Jason. "I knew you'd make it."
"Well, it's self-published." Jason said.
"Doesn't matter. There were a lot of famous authors who self-published at the beginning of their careers. It's all about getting your work out there."
"It's getting in front of a few eyes. Not many. David and I have been planning on holding a book signing at the bar."
"Why the bar?" Mike asked.
"Because I think it's the one venue where we will be able to pull it off with little to no money, that's why. I talked to the owner and he said it would be fine. I just need to order enough copies of my book to sell."
"I think that sounds great," Matt said brightly. "It sounds crazy enough to actually work. You never know."
"I figure if I can get a few people to at least ask about the book, it'll be a success."
"Well, I can't wait. Be sure to let me know when that's happening."
"We will." David said.
When dinner was finally over, everyone got up and went on into the living room again and they continued to grill Matt about his time away. David excused himself to the kitchen where he got a jump on cleaning up. Jason walked in and saw him elbow deep in dishwater.
"I think we can let these sit until morning." Jason suggested.
"I don't want the stains to set." Jason came up behind David and roped his arms around David's body, pulling him closer.
"You really are having a problem with this."
"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it," David then turned to face Jason. "I know you have past. I have a past. We both have our baggage, but I really wasn't expecting one of your larger bags to end up in our living room."
'And I was? I had no idea Matt would ever show his face here. Frankly, I was pretty comfortable with the idea of never seeing him again. Don't get me wrong, he's my friend, but I always thought it would be too painful to see him."
"And is it?"
"It actually isn't and it's all because of you. I have you and you make me happy. You help me be strong enough to face him and not feel any regret or loss."
"And if I weren't here?"
"I'd be a puddle of nothing on the floor."
"So you still have feelings for him."
"Friend feelings, yes. Why is this such an issue for you? I mean, I meet lots of people in my daily life. I cross paths with a lot of guys. Are you telling me you're worried I'll fall for some random guy and leave you?"
"No. Matt isn't some random guy. You two were in love. You got married. You had a life together. You and I are just getting started and now he's back."
"And by your logic, I'm just going to fall back into his arms without a thought?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Wow. No one has ever worried about losing me before."
"Not even Matt?"
"Maybe he did, but he always played it cool. He's from the 'bury your feelings' school of manhood."
"I'm sorry. I guess this is just me getting caught off guard."
"Don't worry. His presence changes nothing between us."
"I know. Just let me clean my dishes and get him out of here. The sooner you and I get to bed, the better."
Chapter 21
The Routine
The morning began for Cynthia as all of her mornings before had begun. She was up with the sun and got in her laps before settling down for breakfast with Ronny and then seeing Douglas off to work, but it was getting easier for her to do it. She had more energy and there were even some mornings she got up earlier than usual.
After she got through the normal morning motions and Douglas was off to work and Ronny was at day care, she headed to the park for her daily walk. It had started as a simple way to decompress from her other work outs, but had become an essential component in Cynthia's weight loss plan.
As Cynthia was starting her final lap around the large lake in the middle of the park she spotted Victoria Jennings sitting alone on a park bench in a shady spot just off the walking path.
"Hi, Victoria."
"Cynthia. So good to see you. Have a seat," Cynthia joined Victoria on the bench and looked out upon the lake. There was a cluster of ducks swimming around near some children who were tossing out bread and not too far from them were a couple of old men who seemed to be fishing. They were asleep in some folding chairs they had brought and their fishing poles were standing up in the dirt with the lines leading down into the water. Cynthia wondered for a moment what they two old men were hoping to catch. "You're looking well."
"Thanks."
"Seems your program is finally paying off."
"Looks like it is."
"How much have you lost so far?"
"About twenty pounds now."
"It's certainly showing."
"Thanks." Victoria then reached into her purse and pulled out a small bag filled with white pills and held it toward Cynthia.
"Your usual order?" Cynthia pushed Victoria's hand away.
"Quiet!"
"Relax. No one's watching us."
"Still."
"So how about it?"
"No. I came here to tell you that I'm going off the stuff. I lost most of the weight and I can take it from here on my own."
"You think so? Here." Victoria then collected five pills from the bag and forced them into Cynthia's hand.
"I don't need these anymore."
"You go on thinking that. You go on doing what you're doing and you tell me if you enjoy the same results working on your own that you got with the pills."
"Look, when I turned to you for help, I was desperate."
"I understand what you're thinking. You see all the progress you've made and you think that you're in control at last. You think you can keep riding the wave on your own, but trust me, you need these pills."
"I don't like what they're doing to me. I feel more on edge and sometimes I have too much energy. I was up for twenty four hours straight last week. I didn't need sleep." Victoria smiled and let out a light laugh.
"Look at these eyes, Cynthia. I haven't blinked in a week."
"That's not healthy."
"Whatever's keeping my eyes open is also keeping me in a size zero. If you just quit, you are going to gain all the weight you've lost back. And then some."
"You don't know that for sure." Victoria then pointed across the way and on the other side of the lake there was a very large woman struggling to jog along the path.
"Does she look familiar to you?"
"No. She must be new to the park. I've never seen her."
"Sure you have. That's Tammy Winkler."
"But Tammy used to be an underwear model. Like, two years ago."
"And she quit the pills two weeks ago." Cynthia felt her mouth open and she looked more closely at Tammy as she lumbered along, struggling for breath.
"That's not possible. It can't be."
"What the pills giveth, they can taketh away. Believe me or don't; all I can say is don't quit the pills."
Cynthia clenched her fist and she felt the pills pressing into her palm.
"I can do this on my own!" Cynthia barked as she tossed the pills away. She then stood up and marched away.
As Cynthia returned home, she felt a sense of pride. She looked back on the past few weeks and she could see more clearly the effect Victoria's pills had on her. She also thought back to the pride she felt when she showed off her slimmer figure to the others and it felt more to her like a lie. She vowed to reach her final goal on her own. She had a renewed vigor as
she attacked her daily chores and by the time she was ready to start preparing dinner, she wasn't sure that she needed the pills at all. She was full of energy and she felt better than fine.
"You seem pretty happy." Douglas said as he took a bite of his dinner.
"Don't I usually seem happy?"
"Yes, but you just seem more so."
"I guess it's all the weight I've lost. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me."
"I'll bet. I knew if you just took the pressure off you'd start to see results. A lot of people make the mistake of hitting their programs too hard. You have to work with your body."
"Trust me. I know that now. How's work been?"
"Just the usual crap. Day in, day out."
"And how's Mavis?"
"She's fine. Why do you ask?"
"No reason. Just curious if there's been any event in her life. If she's had any medical emergencies or anything like that. Maybe she's found a boyfriend."
"As far as I know she's healthy and I have no idea about any boyfriend. Why would you worry about such a thing?" Cynthia looked over at Douglas and she saw the grin on his face. She always found it difficult to hide her motives from him and since they got married, it was downright impossible.
"I'm just curious, all right?"
"It's about time for Ronny to be in dreamland, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Let me," Douglas then stood from his seat and scooped Ronny up and took him to his room. Cynthia then took the chance to begin clearing the table. She piled the dishes into the sink and started up the water, but before she could add the soap, Douglas slipped behind her. She felt his hands slide up her arm and all the way up to her shoulders and he then began to gently massage her flesh. She turned to face him but before she could utter a word, he slipped his hands around to her back and she could feel his strength play upon her spine. "I don't know why you'd think I'd look at another woman, but if I have to prove to you how sexy you are to me, I'll prove it. Every night if I have to." Cynthia smiled, but before she could speak, Douglas' mouth was cupped over hers. She then felt her feet leave the floor and before she realized it, they were in their bedroom and she was falling down upon the bed. She got up on her elbows as Douglas stood over her and began to strip off his clothes. She always liked watching him undress. He pulled away his shirt, exposing his well defined torso. He had gained a little weight as well, but his form was as sleek and toned as ever. He dropped his shirt to the floor and then in one smooth motion, he unfastened his pants and slipped out of them. She felt her heart skip a bit as she beheld her man, clad only in a small pair of blue briefs. He pulled off his socks and then climbed up onto the bed. He crawled toward Cynthia like a lion stalking his prey. His eyes were primal. Cynthia was trembling. She could only hear the heavy pants of his breath as he slipped her blouse away. She could feel the heat of his body on her skin. She tore at her own clothes. He smiled and with a skilled hand, slipped his briefs off and she saw his generous manhood dangle between his legs. She threw her arm around his neck and he collapsed on top of her. His mouth hungrily devouring her. She felt his teeth scrape at her and her nails clawed at his back. His body was all around her and it still wasn't enough.
Douglas explored every inch of her body as he slipped away her bra and underwear. He buried his tongue in her warmth and she felt electricity surge through her brain. His hands held her breasts as he teased and lapped at her womanhood. Cynthia's body was spasming with every movement. When she opened her eyes again, she saw Douglas coming up on her again and their lips crushed together and soon Cynthia felt him enter her. His hips pushed against hers and with every thrust, another torrent of pleasure pulsed through her body. His pace was slow and almost maddening, but he began to speed up. His force became strong and urgent. Her heart was racing ever faster and she felt like she was about to explode. She felt Douglas shudder and as he howled at his release, she let out a cry of orgasmic joy. He rolled over and pulled her onto his heaving chest and he held her on top of him with his arms.
"Wow." She said.
"Right?"
"You know I don't think you're sleeping with your secretary."
"You don't? Are you sure?"
"No."
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I love you. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to prove it to you, but I will until you believe it."
"I'm sorry. It's just she's so young and pretty and thin."
"Yes, she is, but you're pretty too."
"But not young? Not thin?"
"You're young. You're thin, but the most important thing is that I love you. I love you like this or any other way you might be, because it's you."
"I know. I mean, I know it in my heart. It's just my head that's screwing me up. Couldn't you just fire Mavis and hire some old woman?"
"If I could, I would, but that's not possible. She's good at her job and I need her right now. Have I given you any reason to think I'd stray?"
"No. It's just me and my paranoia. Now that' I've lost so much weight, I'm hoping I can get it under control. I don't think I had ever gained so much weight in my life. It really screwed me up."
"Maybe a little, but that's a part of you I love too."
"Not me, so much."
"I just want you to be happy and I'm glad that you are again."
"I'm getting there. Ten more pounds and a few more inches off the waist and I'll be there."
"You know, gaining weight is kind of a part of getting older. I've gained a few pounds."
"But you can carry it."
"I just don't want you doing anything crazy to lose this weight."
"I'm not. Just diet and exercise."
"All right. I'm kind of thirsty. I'm going to rehydrate and then how about round two?"
"Twice?"
"I get to sleep in tomorrow. We may go for three."
It was three in the morning and Douglas and Cynthia had been making love for hours. Cynthia opened her eyes and she saw the digital read out on her bedside clock. She had to be up in a couple hours for her routine, but she was worn out. She then turned over to Douglas and the memory of the night before replayed in her head. A troubling thought then came to her. They hadn't made love like that in months. He had never shown such interest after she had gained the weight. What had gotten into him? He hadn't shown such passion when she was carrying most of her extra weight. It wasn't until she finally started losing did his interest really return. She rolled over to her nightstand and pulled the drawer open. She pulled out a small photograph she had taken before she began her fitness program. She had heard it was helpful to have a picture of how you looked before starting to act as motivation. She stared at her picture. The Cynthia she was looking at was dumpy and clumsy. She then got up as quietly from the bed as she could manage and slinked to the bathroom. She saw herself in the mirror and compared to the picture, the image was startling. She was nearly back to how she usually looked. She was beginning to think it wasn't a coincidence that Douglas' interest was suddenly returning. She then thought about her conversation with Victoria and the sight of Tammy Winkler.
"No. I can do this on my own." She said and then returned to bed.
Chapter 22
Domestic Issues
Ken was leaning up against the counter in the store watching the day fade into night. He had been on the job for three hours and there hadn't been a single customer in all that time. He thought about grabbing the feather duster and going another round clearing off the tops of the video boxes, but as he reached for it he realized he had just done that fifteen minutes ago. He trudged over to the computer and checked the time and saw that he had another four hours to go until closing.
The high pitched tone of the door chime shouted out and Ken looked up in anticipation. He didn't care if it was a bum or just some old perv coming to jack off in the back of the adult section. He was just so desperate to see another human being.
"Hey, Ken!" Jason called out as he approached
.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was driving home from work and thought I'd drop in and see how it was going over here for you." Ken crossed his arms over his chest and smirked.
"The gay section is on the back wall in there."
"Cool." Jason then pushed through the two small wooden doors that separated the general video section from the adult section. Ken walked to the other end of the counter which extended to the adult section. Jason walked around in a state of wonder as he took in all the thousands of video boxes surrounding him.
"You have been in a porn shop before, right?"
"Yes, but it's been a while." Jason then saw a cluster of sex toys up against the counter.
"And correct me if I'm wrong, but you have a boyfriend, right? What do you need any of this stuff for?" Jason found a small collection of assorted lubricants and he began to check their prices.
"I do, but that's not to say that we wouldn't both enjoy a little extra stimulation. Besides, you've got some good prices on lube here. A bottle this size would cost double over the hill."
"Shall I ring it up for you?"
"Let me see what else you've got." Jason then wandered down one of the aisles and as he did, he checked the boxes.
"Most of those are straight!" Ken warned.
"I know. I'm not looking at the girls."
"The guys are hot, aren't they?"
"To think, just a couple thousand dollars and they could be gay."
"But would it be worth it?"
"I'll get back to you on that," Jason then headed toward the back and he found the fabled gay section. It was the smallest of all the sections with only four shelves and only four or five titles on each shelf. Jason shuffled through them carefully and was a bit surprised. While there weren't many of them, the few they had were very high end. His eyes then caught sight of one particular title he had been in search of for years. He grabbed it and dashed back to Ken. "Can you rent these things at a discount?"
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