by R. C. Martin
I kiss Sarah before I pull away. I discard my apron and pat myself down, making sure I’ve got my phone and wallet. On my way out, I kiss Sarah one more time and then I promise—“I’ll be back.”
I love you, too, baby. I’ll be back.
As I watch him leave with her—as I watch her take his hand—I can’t help but wonder if I’m watching him leave me. I heard him. When he told me he loved me and that he would be back, I heard him. I also saw the look on his face as he was debating whether to stay or to go.
A week ago, he told me about Olivia—about the way she always managed to draw him back in. I saw it happen just now. I watched as the woman he loved for years begged him to be her savior. Now, I’m standing in his bakery alone.
He left Little Bird without a second thought. If nothing else, that speaks volumes.
“Stop thinking what you’re thinking,” Daphne demands, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What?” My eyes find hers and she shakes her head at me.
“I know where your mind is going. Don’t let it. I’ve been where you are. I’ve been exactly where you are right now. You’ve got to trust him. You’ve got to believe he’ll be back—back for you.
“He loves you, Sarah. It’s the most obvious thing in the world. I’ve never seen him so happy. So whole. Don’t let this situation eat away at what the two of you have. Stop thinking what you’re thinking. Stop worrying. He’ll be back. You just have to believe that.”
I draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly, beckoning forth memories of last night. I belong to him. Always. That’s our promise. Always. Daphne’s right. He has history with Olivia—but he’s promised his future to me. I have to hold onto that. I have to trust him.
I offer Daphne a nod and return to my post at the register. When I ask what they’d like to drink, she eyes me warily before she answers. I force a smile and assure her that I’ll be fine, and then I take her order. Before she and Trevor leave, she makes sure that I have her number and then makes me promise to call if I need anything. I thank her and then we both wave goodbye.
The rest of the morning seems to drag on and on. Despite the crowd and our productivity, it feels as if time is standing still. When Rachael shows up to start her shift, I’m relieved to have a minute to step away and call Brandon. He doesn’t answer. I wonder what’s going on. If William’s okay. If he’s okay.
I skip lunch, too preoccupied to think about food. I try and call Brandon again, but he doesn’t answer. It dawns on me that he probably can’t use his cell phone wherever he is in the hospital. Even still, the hours that pass without hearing his voice make me anxious. I’m so used to him being a part of my day that his absence isn’t just noticed, it’s felt.
When my phone finally rings, I’m in the middle of making a drink for a customer. I curse my bad luck, but finish my task before I break away from Rachael and Tabitha. Before I can even unlock my screen, another call comes through. The caller ID reads Sky Ridge Hospital. I don’t even question the name as I answer, fully expecting to hear Brandon’s voice on the other end of the line.
My heart drops when it’s not him I hear.
“Miss Prescott? Sarah Prescott?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“I’m calling from Sky Ridge Hospital. I’m sorry to inform you that your parents, Wesley and Gwendolyn Prescott, have been in a motor vehicle accident. You’re listed as their emergency contact and next of kin. We’re going to need you to come in as soon as you can.”
“What?!” I shriek. “What happened? Are they going to be alright? How bad was it?” My words tumble out of my mouth almost as fast as my heart beats inside of my chest.
“These are all questions better addressed by their doctors—”
Their doctors? Plural?
“I can tell you that your father is being taken into surgery right now and your mother is in critical condition.”
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.
“Will you be able to come in, Miss Prescott?”
“Yes,” I barely manage; my voice comes out hardly above a whisper. “I’m on my way. But I’m not in town. It’ll take me an hour and a half to get there. Shit!” My legs suddenly give out and I find myself sinking to the floor. “Will you please call me if anything changes?”
“I will. We’ll see you soon.”
She disconnects before I can get another word in. I don’t mind. The knot in my throat prevents me from speaking just now anyway.
“Sarah? Sarah, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” asks Rachael as she and Tabitha kneel down in front of me.
I look from one face to the other, my heart, my mind, my soul recognizing that neither of them—as wonderful as they may be—are who I need right now. My cry breaks loose and I clap my hand over my mouth as I try and pull myself together. I know I don’t have time to fall apart right now. I have to get out of here. I have to get on the road!
Fuck—I need Brandon!
“How is this happening? This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening, right?” I mumble, wiping away my tears with trembling hands. It’s useless, of course. The tears can’t be stopped now that they’ve started.
“Sarah?” Tabitha asks gently. “We don’t know what you’re talking about. What’s wrong?”
“Shit, shit, shit,” I mutter, trying to gain control of my body—of my mind. I can’t fall apart. I can’t. I can’t. I have to get out of here.
“Sarah!” Rachael cries, giving me a shake. “You’re freaking us out! What is going on?”
I manage a gasp as my eyes meet hers. “I have to go. My parents—they’ve been in an accident. I have to go.”
“Okay. Now we’re getting somewhere,” she says as she stands. She takes me by the elbow, Tabitha following her lead on my other side, and they help me to my feet. “Go. Get out of here, we’ll be fine.”
“Joey will be in later and I’ll stay for as long as I’m needed,” Tabitha assures me.
“Are you okay to drive? Do you want us to call someone?”
“Brandon.” His name comes out like a plea. When I pull out my phone to call him, he’s still not answering. “He won’t pick up!” I shove my phone in my pocket before taking off my apron. My heart aches knowing that he’s with Olivia. He doesn’t know that I need him, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like shit knowing that she gets him right now and I don’t.
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive, though? Isn’t there someone else who can take you? You’re pretty shaken up, Sar.”
“Oh, what about your friend? The one with the great hair?”
“You guys, I don’t have time,” I start to say as I go to gather my purse.
“Sarah—stop,” Rachael demands. “You do realize that you’re practically hyperventilating right now, don’t you? You cannot get behind a wheel right now. I’ll take you myself if I have to—but just take a second. We’ll help you figure this out.”
“Aria!” cries Tabitha. “That’s her name. Can we call her?”
I waste not another second as I reach for my phone. She picks up on the second ring. “Hey, girl, what’s up?”
“Aria—” It’s all I can manage before images of my parents being wheeled into the hospital consume my brain. I start to panic as I replay what the woman on the phone told me. I hardly notice when Tabitha takes my mobile and conducts the conversation I’m not able to complete.
“She’ll be here in ten minutes,” she informs me a moment later.
“Try Brandon again,” says Rachael.
Tabitha obeys, but to no avail.
WILLIAM WAS PLAYING ON a trampoline with a couple other boys in the neighborhood. They were being kids, rough-housing and pushing each other around, when he fell and hit his head on a rock about the size of my fist. This is information that I gather from the mother who called 911 when William wouldn’t open his eyes.
Olivia and I are in the waiting room with a couple other moms and their sons, the ones who were playing with Will. He
r mom and stepdad are in his room. It’s been hours since he lost consciousness. We’ve been informed that he’s comatose, for now. His head trauma caused swelling in his brain. They’re doing everything they can to minimize the damage, but it’s just a waiting game at this point.
The most comforting news the family has been given is that surgery isn’t necessary. Hospitals, however, aren’t known for their comforting ambiance, so everyone’s nerves are just about shot. Including mine.
Admittedly, I’m just as preoccupied about William as I am about how I left things with Sarah. Both circumstances feel out of my control.
I left Sarah at Little Bird. It’s done. I can’t take it back. The look on her face still lingers at the front of my mind. I wish she knew how much I was thinking about her now. I’ve reached for my phone a dozen times, but the cell reception in here is shit.
“Hey—I can’t sit here anymore. Walk with me?” She phrases it as a question, but when Olivia stands, she takes my hand and gives it a tug, signaling that I don’t actually have a choice.
I follow her lead but slip my fingers from out of her grip. She flexes and fists her hand, as if my withdrawal irritates her, but I’m not too concerned about it. I’m not her plaything. Not anymore. I belong to someone else.
“So, what’s with the blonde?”
It’s been three hours since we got here and she’s yet to mention my sweet girl until now.
“Her name is Sarah and she’s none of your business.”
“As your best friend—”
“You’re not. You’re not my best friend,” I say, looking down at her as we continue walking down the vacant hallway. “I’m not here because I’m your best friend—I’m here because you have no one else. That’s it.”
She nods her head slowly and then chuckles softly under her breath. “You know, I don’t know that I’ll ever really believe that. Our track record is long and you always come back. You never say no.We share a bond, Brandon, and you can’t just shake that.”
“I haven’t shaken anything.”
“Then why are you being so nasty? Today, of all days?”
“I’m here, aren’t I? What more do you want from me, Olive?”
She stomps ahead of me and then turns to face me, stopping me in my tracks when she presses her palm against my chest. “I want you to be that boy who held me when I missed my dad so much I could barely function. I want you to be the boy who invited me into your bed and made me forget everything that’s so fucked up in the world. I want you to be that boy who forgave me anything! I’m not perfect, Brandon, but I never have been. Somewhere along the way, that’s what you’ve come to expect of me.”
“No,” I bite back, brushing her hand away from me. “I’ve never expected perfection. Respect? Kindness? Sincerity? Generosity? Love? For-fuck-sake, simple human decency was all I ever asked you for and I never got it. Newsflash, Olivia—I’m not a boy anymore. I won’t take your shit. You’ll have to find someone else to feed it to.”
She huffs out a sigh and folds her arms across her chest. “Is this about the blonde? What, are you in love with her? She shows up and now you feel like kicking me to the curb?”
I bite my tongue and curl my hands until my nails are digging into my palms. As if there wasn’t enough going on today for everyone to lose their shit, she’s doing this again? Now? I shouldn’t be impressed that she lasted three hours before she brought up Sarah—I should be impressed that we were able to be in the same room with one another for so long before we started our yelling match.
Why am I here? The only things that have kept us in this toxic relationship for this long are sex and harsh words. Now there is no sex. So why in the hell am I here? What do I owe her? Nothing. Nothing at all.
“How many times do I have to remind you that you left me? You lied to me and then you brushed me off. We know nothing about each other anymore. Don’t stand here and act like you deserve more from me.”
“How can you say that? You know me better than anyone!”
“What happened to Phillip?” The question spews from my mouth, my lingering resentment boiling to the surface. “I would imagine that he knows you pretty well. You were engaged, once. Shit—you could be engaged now, how the hell would I know?”
“Stop it! Phillip is in the past. He has nothing to do with us. He has nothing to do with now.”
I shake my head at her when it hits me that I actually feel sorry for her. She’s made such a mess of her life—of her heart—but I cannot be her savior. Me even just being here is a detriment to us both. “You need to open your eyes, Olivia. Maybe you don’t recognize that I’ve moved on because I never have before—but we’re done. Finished. Over. I don’t know how else to say it. And it has nothing to do with Sarah. I didn’t even know her before I ended things with you!”
“Ten years, Bran—” she begins to say, reaching for my face. “You can’t just throw that away.”
“Sure I can. You want to know where I learned how?” I ask, pulling her hands away from me. “You taught me. I’m done talking about this. We should go see how William is doing.”
“I meant what I said to her,” she calls out as I begin to walk away. I stop, but don’t turn to face her. “She’s not the first you’ve tried replacing me with. She won’t be the last.”
I know she’s trying to rile me up. She’s trying to get under my skin so that she can take what she wants. It’s her M.O. and she knows me as well as I know her. At least, she thinks she does. It’s like I said. We don’t know each other anymore. Her tactics won’t work this time. I close my eyes and think about Sarah and I realize—
“No, you’ve got it wrong.” I turn to address Olivia directly. “That space in my heart that you burrowed out? That void you think I’m trying to fill? Sarah’s too big to fill it. My love for her is so all consuming that I don’t have enough room for it. I’m not trying to replace you. I’ve learned a lesson or two in self-preservation and now I love someone who knows how to love me back.”
“Well if she keeps you so damn satisfied, why in the hell are you here?” she challenges.
“Good. Fucking. Question.”
I turn my back on her and head straight for the nearest stairwell. She calls my name, but I’m so done that there’s no turning back. I regret that I’m leaving without word about William, but I’m not family. Even if I stopped to ask for specifics, they wouldn’t tell me.
I pray that he’ll be okay; that his family will not know the loss of him; that his body will be restored to full health; and that his recovery would be a reminder to all of us that life is fragile and precious.
It isn’t until I step outside of the hospital that I remember I rode over with Olivia. I pull out my phone, debating whether or not it would be a dick move to ask Sarah to come and get me. Before I can even unlock my screen, it buzzes like crazy in my hand, notifications piling up by the second.
What the hell?
I’ve got missed calls and text messages from Rachael, Tabitha, Sarah, and Daphne. My first thought is that something’s gone wrong at Little Bird.
Shit, I should have stepped out to check my phone. What was I thinking?
Just as I’m about to dial the shop, Sage calls. I try and think whether or not I put him on the schedule today, but I’m too on edge to remember. I answer, hoping he’ll be able to tell me something.
“Hello?”
“Fuck, dude, took you long enough! I’ve been on stalker-duty for the last half an hour. I’ve called you every five minutes.”
“I didn’t have any service. What’s going on?”
“It’s Sarah.”
My heart is suddenly in my throat—suffocating me.
“What?” I manage.
“It’s bad, man. Her parents got into some sort of wreck. She was so messed up about it, Aria had to pick her up to take her down to Castle Rock. We’ve been trying to get ahold of you but—”
“Fuck. When did this happen?”
“I don’t know—maybe
an hour ago? Aria called Millie, Millie called me, then I called you. And called, and called.”
“Shit, Sage, come and get me! I need a ride to my car.”
“Where are you? I’m on my way.”
“I’m at the hospital. Foothills.”
“Got it.”
“Sage?”
“Yeah?”
“Haul ass!”
I’m so anxious, I can’t stand still. I pace back and forth in front of the hospital entrance, wondering how far I’d get if I just started running now. I can’t believe this is happening. My sweet girl needed me and I was with Olivia. Fucking Olivia. I try and call Sarah but she doesn’t answer. I hang up and try again. Still nothing. I curse and then realize this is probably exactly how she felt trying to get ahold of me. I’m sick to my stomach with guilt and worry. I don’t have enough information.
Then I remember all the unread texts I’ve got. I open each one, hoping to piece together a little of what I missed.
Rachael: Brandon. Call me.
Rachael: Seriously! It’s Sarah. She’s a mess.
Tabitha: Remember how you said you’d come back? Now would be a GREAT time.
Tabitha: We couldn’t get much out of her, but her parents are in bad shape. Her dad is going into surgery now.
Shit. Surgery? Shit!
Daphne: Sarah just called me. Where the fuck are you? I’m so pissed at you right now!
Daphne: I can’t believe you went with Olivia. Damn you and your annoying since of loyalty. She’s a ho-bag and she doesn’t deserve a single ounce of your sympathy!
Daphne: If I don’t hear from you soon, I swear, I’m coming to get you myself!
Daphne: BRANDON!
I think about texting her but then decide it’ll be easier if I just call her. When I do, she doesn’t pick up. That’s definitely getting really old really fast. I don’t leave a voicemail, knowing that my missed call will say enough, and then I go back to my texts.
I have one left.