‘Why? Why’s she crying?’
‘It’s normal after you’ve had a baby to get a bit down; it’s hormones—’
‘Jeez, Mum, I’m not sure I want to know.’
‘You might have to know, Elliot,’ Mum said in a strained voice. ‘Your father and I had to learn a few things in a hurry; I’m sure you will too.’
‘Okay, okay.’ There was something different about his mother and Elliot couldn’t think what it was. ‘What if Rick comes home tonight? It’ll be bloody disastrous if Lena’s here.’
‘Rick will also have to grow up. None of this is ideal, but he’s not a child.’
Elliot nodded in agreement. ‘So what’s it like? The baby?’ Elliot asked. ‘In the photos he looks sleepy.’
‘Well,’ Mum said with an exhalation of breath. ‘The baby is beautiful, quite content — dear little head, with a decent head of hair.’
Elliot wasn’t sure but he thought he recognised the change in his Mum; one that he felt himself. Her face glowed as she spoke. She’s liking being a grandmother.
‘Does Dad like it?’
‘Him. We have to say “he”, for now, but he’ll need a name. Dad’s been helping Lena with things like putting the bassinet together and rigging up a heater in the nursery.’
‘You guys have been amazing,’ Elliot said. He thought about Arnie saying the only way you can repay good folks like his was to take care of the next generation. He resolved to do everything he could for his son.
The phone rang, and in a rare moment of connection Mum kissed Elliot on the side of his face as she walked past to answer it. There were so many acceptances in that one gesture that Elliot had to get up and busy himself getting a drink.
A pile of cutlery and plates were stacked on the dining room table in the next room, and the fire was lit and roaring. There was a large box in the corner of the room and Elliot went to have a closer look. He prised open the top flap and saw what looked like the handles of a pushchair. Bloody hell, they’re surpassing themselves.
‘That was Dad,’ Mum said. ‘He’ll be home soon and I’ve asked him to pick up takeaways from Tamarind. I haven’t had a chance to cook. I see you’ve been peeking at the present; you always managed to sniff out a gift.’
‘Does Lena know about this?’
‘No, we thought it might cheer her up. She’s getting a taxi here in an hour.’
It was a surreal scene in the lounge when Lena was finally sitting amongst them. She perched on the edge of her chair as if she couldn’t believe it herself, and she thanked Elliot’s parents for all their help. The baby slept in his car seat beside her and Lena held her hand over his body even though he was strapped in. The four of them stared in wonder at the baby’s peaceful face and Elliot felt stoked.
The doorbell rang and they looked at each other and shook their heads. No one else was expected. The lounge door pushed open before anyone could get to it, and a large multi-coloured parrot with a laughing worm in its mouth stuck its head around the door.
‘I’m looking for Rooster’s baby,’ it squawked.
Mum sighed. ‘Come in, Deeks. Did you shut the front door?’
‘Think so,’ the bird said, and then Deeks came in as well. ‘Rooster, you ugly pr—’ He shook hands with Elliot and whispered, ‘Finally been ousted, you ugly prick.’ Everyone heard him.
‘Now Deeks, you must know Lena?’ Mum said.
Deeks had trouble looking at Lena’s face. They had never met properly before but Deeks said, ‘Yeah, yeah, hi, Lena. Hey, here’s the baby,’ he said to the parrot. He put the bird down to the baby’s level and bounced it around the base of its car seat. ‘What’s your name, little bubba?’ The fluff on the parrot’s crest tickled the baby and it screwed up its face. ‘Good effort,’ Deeks said. He stood up and looking at Elliot asked, ‘So what’s his name?’
There was silence. Lena looked at Elliot, and Mum and Dad looked at each other before they, too, looked at Elliot. ‘Umm, well,’ Elliot said.
‘I’ve got some suggestions,’ Deeks offered.
It was Lena who went first, though. ‘I like the way you’ve got a family theme with names,’ she said in a shy voice.
Everyone looked at her. ‘Do we?’ Elliot couldn’t think of a theme.
She looked nervous. ‘You know, Elliot and Elrick?’ After a pause, she suggested, ‘What about Elton?’
‘Elton?’ Deeks moved the parrot so that it was right in Lena’s face. ‘Isn’t that a poofter name?’
‘Funny thing is,’ Mum said, pulling Deeks back, ‘I used to have a great-uncle called Elton. He was a real character; we loved him as kids.’
‘I’m not sure about Elton,’ Dad said. ‘I mean it’s a good name but there’s been confusion for Elliot and Elrick at times. We really say Rick mostly.’ He thought for a moment. ‘I suppose it depends on whether or not you’re thinking of having Barnard as the surname. What do you think, Elliot?’
‘Oh yes, I think Barnard should be part of his surname.’ Elliot gazed at the little baby and felt overwhelmed with the rightness of his answer. ‘Hey, little boy?’ He stroked the baby’s hand and stood up straight. ‘Yeah, he should definitely have Barnard in his name.’
‘Over my dead body.’ A cold and furious voice cut through the room like a blast of polar air. Everyone turned to see Rick with his hoodie up leaning on the doorframe. His face sneered as he looked at Lena. ‘Why would he have Barnard in his name?’
‘Elrick! I didn’t hear you come in,’ Mum said. She and Dad exchanged shit, here’s trouble looks.
There was collective squirming and muttering.
‘Don’t suppose you’ve met the baby.’
‘Quite a surprise for you.’
‘Uncle now.’
Lena lifted the baby out of its car seat awkwardly. She winced with pain from her strapped wrist but she tucked the baby in safe, under her chin.
‘Take your hood off. Come and sit down,’ Mum said in a warning tone. ‘How was volleyball camp?’
Rick carried on staring at Lena. His lip was curled. ‘Ruined, when I heard about this.’
Lena stood up and faced him. She looked like the Lena they knew of old: tough and angry. ‘Shut it.’
‘I thought you weren’t due until the end of September?’
She held the baby tightly and he began to whimper. ‘I was in a car accident. He was early.’
‘How convenient.’
‘Elrick!’ Mum said.
‘Watch it, bro,’ Elliot stepped forward.
Deeks pulled on his arm. ‘Come on, Rooster, leave him. Rick needs time to get used to it.’
‘Get used to it?’ Rick’s fists were clenched. ‘I’ll never get used to it. That baby’s not Elliot’s. She’s having us on.’
‘It is so.’ Lena’s voice was low but defiant. The baby kicked and began to cry properly.
Elliot clenched his fists as he stepped up to Rick.
‘No, Elliot,’ Mum said. She pushed between Elliot and Rick with a hand on each of their chests. ‘I won’t have this in our home. You can have your say, Rick, but you can do it without that supercilious manner.’
Dad said, ‘Do you have something specific to say, Elrick?’
‘Yes, I do.’ Rick stood up straight and pushed his hood back. ‘There’s a guy in town laughing at this situation. You guys have been suckered and so fast. When did Lena become a reliable person?’
At the mention of her name, Lena became decisive. She put the crying baby back in the car seat, a dummy in his mouth and started doing up the straps. Her hands were shaking. ‘Could I have a taxi, please?’ she said to Mum.
‘I’m going,’ Deeks said. ‘I’ll drop you off.’
Dad’s voice cut through the movement and the talk, ‘Perhaps you have something to say before you go, Lena?’
‘No. Ask Rick — he seems to have all the answers.’
‘You have some,’ Rick said. His eyes were narrowed as he watched her. ‘When was this baby conceived?’ Mum
and Dad looked awkward and Elliot felt ambushed. Rick, though, was hell-bent on his mission. ‘The only time you two could’ve done it was at New Year’s.’
‘I hope you know what you’re saying, Elrick,’ Mum said.
‘Well it’s basic biology. When she turned up and wrecked our party and coined Dad’s ute, it was the thirty-first of bloody December. That makes the baby due at the end of September — more likely October for a first child, or so I’ve been told. It’s only freakin’ August.’ Rick turned to Elliot but pointed at the baby. ‘Is this kid full-term?’
‘What?’ Elliot remembered the nurse in the hospital using that expression after she’d said Mother forty weeks along. He looked at his mum, ‘What is this about?’
‘You don’t get it, do you?’ Rick had the gall to laugh. ‘You’re so easily manipulated.’
That was scarcely breaking news to Elliot. He knew if he hadn’t been so easily manipulated he mightn’t have ended up living with Lena in the first place.
He grabbed the front of Rick’s sweater and hauled him forward. It felt good to clutch something tangible and the material twisted in his hand. He yanked Rick forward again and then slammed him back against the wall. The sound of air rushing out of Rick’s body thrilled Elliot. He wanted to have another go, but Dad shouted, ‘Stop that!’
Dad pulled Elliot back and pointed at the dining room table. ‘Sit down, both of you. We’re going to sort this out.’ Rick adjusted his top with over-exaggerated gestures before walking over to pull out a seat. Elliot glared at Rick and followed suit. His heart was racing at a hundred miles and he felt as if he might throw up.
Dad opened the door. ‘Deeks? Would you mind waiting out in your car, please, and I think Lena will catch a ride with you very soon. We just need a moment.’
Deeks nodded with little head jerks. ‘Thanks for the umm,’ he waved at the stack of clean plates on the table as he backed away. ‘Sorry I couldn’t find a rooster,’ he said and he dropped the parrot by the door as he went.
‘Lena? Please take a seat,’ Dad continued.
‘I want to go,’ she said. Tears spilled down her face and she wiped them away with the baby’s blanket. Mum went to stand beside her. The room fell silent and Elliot could feel fat, hot tears fill his eyes as well. His throat burned with the effort of swallowing them away.
‘Now, Lena,’ Dad said, in a really kind voice, ‘of course you can go. Would you please tell us before you leave if this is Elliot’s baby?’ He pointed at the squirming bundle in the car seat.
Lena didn’t answer straightaway but buried her face in the blanket. There was silence as everyone waited. When she looked up, she seemed calm, beaten. ‘I wanted your family,’ she said to Dad in a quiet voice.
He nodded. ‘I see.’
Stunned, Elliot yelled, ‘What the—?’ He turned to look at the baby who was squirming and sucking hard on a dummy. He’d dodged and run from this baby bullet for so long and now he realised it was the one thing he really wanted. ‘You’ve conned me?’
‘Of course she’s conned you,’ Rick said. ‘She thinks we’re all idiots and easy pickings.’ He faced Lena who was clutching the blanket so tightly her knuckles bulged. ‘Well you can’t fool me. Elliot may be stupid but I’m onto you.’
‘Rick!’ Dad said. It was like a bellow. The baby opened his mouth and screamed. His arms flapped and the dummy rolled onto the floor.
Lena picked up the car seat and clutched it against her chest. She glared at Rick. ‘I didn’t pick Elliot because he’s stupid,’ she said in a low, hard voice. ‘I picked him because he’s kind.’
‘Well that’s got him bloody nowhere.’
‘You can be quiet now, Rick,’ Mum said. She put her hand on Elliot’s shoulder for a moment. ‘Kindness is important; your father is kind. And yes, Lena, Elliot is kind.’
Elliot knew it was a compliment but it sounded like another failing. It was bad enough that he was blubbing and couldn’t stop, without being stamped kind as well.
‘I’m pleased you’ve told us the truth, Lena,’ Dad said in a steely voice. He reached out and leaned on the back of a chair. ‘Essentially, though, I think your actions are deceitful and criminal in every sense.’
‘No one cares about the criminal way I’ve been deserted by my parents,’ Lena started to shout. ‘I just wanted to give my baby a chance.’
‘The best chance you can give him is to start off by telling him the truth,’ Dad said.
‘Anyway, this isn’t about your parents, Lena,’ Elliot said. He stretched across the table and picked up a pile of paper serviettes and blew his nose. ‘You can’t pay your parents back by taking it out on me. You’re a control freak. Look at my neck. Look at my life. I live in a cold shithole in Wellington. I’ve lost my mates and I’ve lost—’ he stopped and glanced at Rick who nodded in agreement, ‘I’ve lost everything.’
‘None of that’s my fault. You let things happen to you, just like Rick said. You’re a victim.’
‘Shut up, you fucking cow.’
‘Elliot!’ Mum had been standing alongside Elliot’s chair all this time, her hand over her mouth as she listened to the fighting. ‘Don’t you dare speak like that in this house. Now, I would like to say something to each of you, beginning with you, Lena.’ Mum ran her hand over the baby’s head and Lena pulled its blanket up to her eyes as if she couldn’t bear to listen. Mum said, ‘I believe you can raise your son and turn this situation around. Don’t perpetuate the mistakes of your parents. You have so much to offer, so why don’t you put your strength into love, not hate?’ Lena cried properly then.
‘Elliot?’ Mum put her hand on the table as if to steady herself. ‘You’ve been mistreated, we all know that, but you’ve mistreated people too. You’ve known for a long time about this baby and you’ve done our family a great disservice with your silence. Dad and I would’ve coped but you didn’t give us a chance. I feel ashamed to think of all the people who pitied our ignorance.’ Elliot looked up and saw the hurt etched in her face. ‘I also agree that you need to be responsible for your actions. Everything with you is someone else’s fault.’
They all thought she was finished but Mum looked over at Rick. ‘And I have something to say to you.’ He shrugged as if he didn’t care. ‘Your family loyalty and respect is questionable. You could have told us—’
‘I’m not a nark.’
‘Grow up,’ she said in a growl. ‘Dad and I deserved better from you. It was bad enough that you both knew about the pregnancy and didn’t tell us, but you were close enough to hear the paternity rumours.’
‘I only found out this week — before that I thought it was Elliot’s.’
‘It doesn’t matter when you heard. You didn’t put us first — and your attitude is patronising.’
Rick shook his head as if he didn’t agree but his neck was red and he jiggled his knee. Mum said, ‘That’s all I have to say. Lena, you should go; Deeks is waiting.’ Lena nodded and started to gather up her things. ‘You boys could help her and then you have some thinking to do.’
‘I don’t want help.’
‘Suit yourself,’ Mum said and she left the room. Dad followed her.
Elliot went out the back door and stood in the shadows for a while. The crisp cold air stung his face. He wondered what to do next.
I’m not the baby’s father. He didn’t know if that was a get-out-of-jail pass or something to be sad about. It felt weird that he didn’t know.
Lemons hung from the tree like yellow globes in the light from the porch. Elliot was drawn to Nana’s grave under its prickly branches. He bent down to the soil that she lay under and ached to feel her thick fur and draw comfort from her wise dog-face.
Words like victim and prey taunted him and he said them out loud, testing their fairness. He remembered the honesty of Nana’s deep brown eyes and knew he couldn’t bullshit himself out there on her grave. He had let stuff happen. He and Lena had both messed up but somehow he was spared and she wasn’t. ‘I’m
not the father,’ he said to himself, over and over.
Elliot could hear the music from Deeks’ car and a lot of banging doors. The baby was crying again so Elliot quickly went to the side-gate to see what was going on. He watched Lena trying to strap the baby seat into Deeks’ car but he could see she was having trouble with the seatbelts. Everything about Deeks’ souped-up car was modified and the seatbelts were no exception.
Elliot opened the gate and pushed it back. ‘Deeks,’ he yelled. ‘I’ll take Lena and the baby home in Arnie’s van. The car seat will fit in there.’
‘You don’t have to,’ Deeks said, but he sounded relieved.
‘Give me a moment; I’ll get the keys.’ Elliot ran inside and down to his room.
‘What’s going on?’ Dad was at his bedroom door.
‘The baby thing won’t do up in Deeks’ car. I’ll take her; it’s my job.’
Dad nodded. ‘It is. Good on you.’
It was dark and cheerless at Lena’s house. The distinctive smell, the sight of the furniture and even the extreme quiet of her neighbourhood brought back memories for Elliot of his time living there. Lena switched the heater on and sat down in a big chair with the baby, who was crying in a frantic way. She pulled up her top and said, ‘Can you pass me a cushion or a pillow?’
Deal with stuff, Elliot said to himself as he went into her bedroom to get a pillow. He arranged it under her arm, determined not to look away from her exposed breast. ‘Do you need anything else?’
‘A drink of water.’ He’d already turned to the kitchen when he heard Lena say, ‘Please.’
He put the water beside her chair. ‘I’ll leave you to feed the baby but I’ll come back in half an hour with some food.’
It was a silent, heavy vibe back home as well. Dad and Rick were in the kitchen eating the takeaways in silence. Mum was nowhere to be seen.
Coming Home to Roost Page 18