“I see you really had a good time with your family.” He interrupts my thoughts. He must have noticed me smiling on my own. “You want to go there again?”
“I guess I am quite old for Disneyland now.” I smirk at him, taking a sip of my peach punch.
“You are never too old to relive the memories.” He finishes his cigarette, rubbing it in the ashtray. “Remember! There is a child in every human being.”
“Would you go there if you got a chance?” I ask him, watching his expression.
“I would like to. Perhaps, when I have kids, I’ll take them and relive my childhood too.” He looks at me innocently. He is not a bad company. What was I afraid of?
“I wonder that a man like you never got married.”
“I have. Twice. It never worked out for me.” He takes a sip of his drink. “Either I’m too difficult to get along with, or I just don’t understand women.” He speaks in a sarcastic way.
“So you don’t have kids?”
“No. Both the marriages lasted for only a year. We both had different expectations from the relationship.” He sips his drink again, thinking something over. “I feel that in a marriage, trust is the most important thing. Love, friendship, respect, everything comes after that.” He looks at me keenly. “What do you think?”
“Yes, I agree.” He is right.
“My first wife cheated on me. I still don’t know why she married me, if she liked the other guy. I would have left her myself, if she had told me the truth. I don’t like people lying and going behind my back.” He is looking deeply into his drink. So he has a broken past too, but why is he telling me all this? I am not asking him.
“The second wife, well…I had money when I married her. So she wanted a handsome amount of money in the divorce.” I just don’t understand why he is telling me about his past life. Perhaps, the alcohol is bringing out all the words from his heart.
We sit here for a few more minutes, drinking our drinks, not speaking to each other. Suddenly, I feel like going to the washroom. I didn’t realize, while listening to him, that I was also consuming the entire electric blue drink. I excuse myself.
When I get up from my seat, I feel lightheaded and dizzy. I instantly lose my balance, and Ethan grabs me by my arm.
“Hey, are you okay?” He looks at me with concern.
“I am fine. Thank you.” I don’t tell him that my head is actually spinning.
“You should eat something, I guess.”
“No, thank you. I…” I look around, trying to focus properly. “I think my stomach is quite full. Thanks for asking, though.”
I rush to the washroom, breaking through the crowd. I try to focus on my face in the mirror, but somehow, I am not able to see anything properly. When I come out, Ethan is standing outside in the narrow passage. I ignore his presence and decide to head back to my room. I have no idea how far I am from my hotel, but I certainly know I am staying at the Venetian. Maybe I should take a cab. My head is spinning too badly. He blocks my way and grips me by my arm.
“I want to dance with you, Rania.” He looks at me with drunken eyes.
“I told you I don’t dance.” I steal a glance at him. I am not sure why he’s watching me like this. It certainly looks alarming.
“Just one dance. Don’t lie and say you don’t know how. I hate liars. I thought you were different from the other women.”
“I don’t lie, Mr. Murray. Please, let go of my arm. You are hurting me.” I look everywhere to avoid his gaze.
“You are very beautiful, Rania.” He comes very close to me, pushing me hard against the wall. “It’s such a shame that Adam didn’t know how to keep you.” He pulls my scarf from my neck, throws it on the floor and moves even closer. “I promise I will be gentle.” He grabs the back of my neck and starts nibbling my earlobe.
“Mr. Murray, please stay away from me.” I try to push him back, but since I am so weak and dizzy, I don’t have any strength to fight him. Shit!
“I’ve had my eyes on you since I first saw you in the news. I’ve waited for this moment for so long.” He looks at my lips intensely. “You are a difficult woman.” He regards me with a slow and devilish smile. “But I like it. It’s a new experience.”
“Ethan, please, back off,” I say harshly. What the hell is he doing?
“I like you saying my name. It sounds very sexy to hear from your pretty mouth.” He pulls me toward him firmly, but I try to move away, as much as I can. Shit. Where is my energy? What was in the drink? “I am not going to harm you. Kissing is a way to express emotions. Didn’t Adam teach you that?”
“Ethan, back off,” I shout at him. No one is listening to me. The noise of the music is so loud that my heart is beating in time to the beat. Shit. I am trapped. He takes both my hands in his one big hand and locks them behind my back, and kisses me hard on my neck.
“I want you to shout at me for help, Rania. Come on, baby, shout at me. I like you saying my name. I want you to beg.”
I feel so helpless, stuck in his arms. Where do I go? What do I do? Why did I even come here? I was so insane. Adam told me Ethan was plotting something, against me or him. I wish I had listened to him. Oh, Adam! Where are you? I start crying with fear and I feel my heart sinking against the grinding beat of the music. I am finished.
“Keep your fucking hands off her.” I hear a familiar voice and I open my eyes instantly. Adam is standing behind us, glaring at Ethan, fire burning in his eyes. He grabs Ethan by his collar and pulls him away from me.
Since Ethan is drunk, he is unable to maintain his balance. Adam punches him hard in his face, twice, probably breaking his nose, since he is bleeding copiously. I shake my head in shock, to confirm if I am dreaming or if it’s real. What the hell is Adam doing here in Vegas? How did he know I was here? How did he find me? Did Ben tell him? But I didn’t even have a phone. Even if he knew I was in Vegas, how the bloody hell he could track my exact location? This is creepy!
He grabs my hand and pulls me through the crazy crowd and out on the pavement in a blink of an eye.
“What the fuck do you think you were doing?” He moves in on me. Why is he frowning? “I told you to stay away from that bastard. You wanted to punish me by going after him? Couldn’t you find a better way to torture me? Do you realize what happened? ” He shoves his fingers through his hair. “He has drugged you, Rania. Look at you. You are completely drunk.” Drug? What? Is that why my head is spinning so much?
“Do you bloody realize what he could have done to you, if I weren’t here? You would have woken up naked in his bedroom in the morning.” He shakes his head wildly. “Didn’t anyone tell you, you are not supposed to accept drinks in a club from strangers? I can’t believe you could be so stupid.” How would I know? This is the first time I’ve been to a club. I look at him in wonderment. Is he telling the truth? Would Ethan really drug me? Oh, no!
“Now stop acting like a fool and get in the car.” Adam drags me by the arm and leads me toward a black Mercedes, waiting at the corner of the street. I stop and pull my arm out of his grip.
“No, I will not go with you.” I step back confidently. He looks at me in confusion. “I don’t trust you anymore. I don’t trust anyone. You men are all assholes.” Oh yes, that’s right, they all bloody are.
He looks around. “Rania, stop creating a scene. People are looking at us. Get in the car.” He grits his teeth.
“Since when you have started caring about making a scene, Mr. Gibson?” I ask him sarcastically. He rolls his eyes at me, ignoring my question completely, and pulls at my arm again, trying to get me in the car.
“I told you I am not going with you. Who the hell do you think you are, Gibson? I think about you and you just pop up from nowhere to rescue me. Who are you? A fucking Jinni?” I have no idea where this confidence and this big mouth are coming from. He is completely shocked that I’m yelling at him. I know he hasn’t seen me like this. I haven’t seen this side of myself, either.
“Get in
the car. You are drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“The hell I don’t. I’m not so drunk that I don’t know what my heart is saying, Mr. Gibson.” I step toward him and grab his collar. “For five years, Adam…for five bloody years, I kept my heart locked inside a hard capsule. All of a sudden, you come into my life...without knocking on any door...you just trespassed...breaking all the bars, and you grab my heart to sneak directly into my soul? You can’t fuckin’ do that, Adam. You are not supposed to do it, damn it.” I never believed I had so much audacity.
“I haven’t let anyone touch my soul. How did you find it? How do you bloody find me all the time?” My eyes are watering heavily and I can’t see a thing. I back up a few steps. “And worst of all, you were paying me for all the time I gave you? You think I need your bloody money? If you really wanted to return something to me, then return the heart I gave you. Return it intact, Adam. How could you chop my heart in bits and pieces? You sneak into my soul, without even a noise, and take my heart and break it into millions of pieces. You can’t bloody do that to me.” I hit him on his chest, taking out all my anger. I guess the alcohol is pulling out the inhuman side of me, too. He stands here frozen, so still that I wonder if he is hearing me or not.
“I trusted you, Adam. How could you hurt me?” I keep hitting him on the chest, but he doesn’t move at all. He just keeps staring at me. “Let me live in peace. Just leave me alone. Leave me alone.” Suddenly I feel completely drained, and I don’t remember what happens after that. It is all black.
***
I wake up around eleven in the morning, assuming it is New Year’s Day. I look around at my surroundings; they look extremely familiar. Where am I? I rub my eyes. Shit! I’m back home. My home? How did I get here? And I remember, my apartment was burned. I can smell the fresh-painted walls and new hardwood in the apartment. I get up to confirm where I am. It is my apartment. I look around the washroom, then I head out and check my living room. Everything is the same as it was before the fire, except that it looks brand new. All the colors, the furniture, the paint, everything is the same. I come back into my room and notice my parents’ picture on my night table. I pick it up. The frame is different and the picture looks slightly burned, but it is seamlessly restored. I put the picture down and see a dozen lavender roses on the night table. I pull out the card attached to them.
You don’t understand the language of my heart, but I hope you do understand the language of flowers. Adam
I look at the flowers and remember, when we were in Muttart Conservatory in Edmonton, Adam read out the notation of love-at-first-sight on lavender roses. I am so confused right now. Was it actually love at first sight for him? Can I charm anyone at a first glance? And especially Adam? No, he can’t love me. I cannot let him abandon his soul for me. I put the flowers back and notice my iPhone on the table. I pick it up and open the case. It is the same phone Adam gave me at his place. I see a message from Adam, waiting for me.
You can call it my passion or obsession, but you are not leaving this country ever, without me. I have your passport and residence card with me. And welcome back to your home. You don’t need to live anywhere else now.
(P.S. Don’t forget to drink lots of water to counteract your hangover.)
Shit! Is this a threat or a declaration of love? Is he trying to possess me forcefully? And as for drinking water, should I call him sweet or a control freak? I notice a bottle of mineral water beside the flowers.
Now, when I have refused to talk to him and asked him to stay away from me, is he going to chain me in my own apartment? So, he brought me back? But I was in Vegas last night. I don’t remember flying back to Toronto. Was I too drunk? Shit! I was bloody drunk. And I don’t understand why Adam said I was drugged. That bastard Ethan drugged me with the fake peach punch? Now I knew why it tasted of everything but peach. He made a fool of me, to take advantage of me. I do remember Adam coming at the right time. I do remember I shouted at him a lot. I do remember beating the shit out of him, but I don’t remember how I came here. And most of all, how did he know I was in Vegas? How did he know which club I was at? How did he reach me in time?
And now, he claims he has my passport, which means I cannot go anywhere. He can’t force me to stay here. He just can’t possess me like this. He doesn’t own me. I haven’t given any rights to him. I am starting to feel afraid in my own apartment. I decide to call Ben and thank him for putting all my things back the way they were. I am sure he must have bought the furniture again.
“Hey, Ben, good morning. Happy New Year.”
“Hey, Rania. Good to hear from you. Happy New Year to you too. How was the workshop?” Ben’s voice is full of excitement.
“It was really good. I have got some really good training materials. I didn’t know the new Adobe version was so good. I will share the information with the team tomorrow.”
“Oh yes, definitely. That’s why I send you to attend these trainings. I know you are a good learner and you bring all the knowledge back for us.”
“Thanks, Ben. And thanks for the apartment. I see everything is back in its place. You even managed to get the same furniture. I didn’t know it would be ready so soon.”
“I didn’t do anything, Rania.” He’s silent for a moment, and then takes a deep breath. “You own the apartment now.”
“What are you saying, Ben?” I am shocked to hear it.
“When I came back and filed for the insurance, Adam Gibson bought the apartment from me at a good price. He said he would take care of the insurance and all the loss, and would like to gift it to you. So if you are back in that place with everything the same, he would be the one behind it.” He pauses. “He is a strange man, isn’t he? He treats you like a princess, then hurts you, and then apologizes through the newspapers in front of the whole nation, and then showers his wealth on you. I just don’t get him. Anyway, congrats on your first property.”
I am silenced by Ben’s news. I have no words to say. Adam has given this apartment to me? Did he say in his text message that I don’t need to live anywhere else because this place is in my name? “Are you there, Rania?” I hear Ben calling for me.
“Umm…yes, I am.”
“I know it’s pretty surprising for you. Has he ever told you he loves you?” I still remain silent, in shock. “Are you listening, Rania?”
“Yes, Ben, I am here. Umm…no, he hasn’t. I mean, he can’t love me. We are not together anymore.” I have so many questions in my mind. Who do I ask? I am not on speaking terms with Adam. Why is he doing all this, when we are not together anymore?
“I will talk to you later, Ben.”
I hang up the phone, not sure what more I needed to talk to him about. I look at my apartment again. It is exactly the same. I remember clearly that everything was burned. Did Adam remember everything? He even remembers the color of my bed sheets? I open my closet and there is another surprise waiting. I have a totally new wardrobe. I am sure he couldn’t remember all my old clothes. I would have named him a Jinni, if he had done that. I walk out and head to my kitchen.
There is a file on the counter. I pick it up and open it. It is a property document. This property is under my name? Ben was right. Adam just can’t hit me with all these surprises. He can’t spend so much on me. I can’t let him do this. Who am I to him? Is he obsessed, or does he really love me? In either case, he cannot own me. I don’t belong to him. I don’t belong to anyone. I look around everywhere. He has put everything back. He promised me he would give me my home back; was that his way of showing he cared? But, if he cared for me so much, then why did he humiliate me in front of so many people? Suddenly, my own apartment looks foreign to me. This is not my home. He has bought everything. There is nothing in this apartment that belongs to me, except for my parents’ picture. From the appliances to the furniture, from the clothes to the accessories, everything is from Adam’s pocket. I am not his girlfriend, to receive so much from him. And if I accept all this, it means I am
accepting him also, which will encourage him to come back into my life. If it were just a friendship, I would have continued to see him, but with what he said at the party after the dance with Nathan, I know his feelings are beyond friendship. I cannot offer him anything other than being friends. Why is he making this so hard on me? Why is he burying my soul under his wealth? Why doesn’t he understand that I don’t need his money? And he expects I will come running into his arms when I see all this.
I know I promised myself that I would open up and tell him everything after the party, because I was confident, at that time, that he would believe everything I would say. But after seeing his obsessed side at the party later on, it was good that we separated after that. God always does things in a rightful manner. Only we don’t always understand.
I enter the washroom and notice I am wearing different clothes than I was wearing last night. Did he change my clothes? No way! He can’t be doing that. What else did he do, when I was dead drunk? A wave of fear spikes up my spine and freaks the hell out of me. I look at my neck and see a bite mark that Ethan planted on my skin. Asshole! I am never going to accept his job offer. He is truly an asshole.
I notice I am still wearing the diamond-beaded chain that Adam gave me before the party. Should I take it off, or should I wear it? If I am not accepting anything from him, I shouldn’t accept this gift, either. But he gave it to me when I realized his true feelings. Will it hurt him, if I return it? This is the only gift I actually accepted from him; he didn’t give me this chain behind my back, like the million dollars and this apartment. I accepted this with all my heart. I decide not to take it off.
A Prayer Heeded Page 5