“Nothing,” Seth assured her with a smile and she could see the lie on his face. He wasn’t scared, but he did seem uneasy. “Don’t forget, I saved Jala’s life with my actions as well, and Finn can forgive a lot when Jala is involved,” he added with a faint smile.
“I don’t want you to suffer for me,” Zoelyn murmured with a soft shake of her head. She regretted the action at once and a soft whimper escaped her lips as the pain intensified.
“I will be fine, Zoey,” Seth promised as he paused in front of his door.
Zoelyn had no idea how they had reached his rooms so swiftly, but she was grateful they had. Her head was throbbing and she was growing dizzier by the moment. Closing her eyes, she slowed her breathing and tried to center herself as Seth carried her into his rooms. Nausea rose in her stomach once more and she clamped her mouth shut until the feeling passed and by the time she finally reopened her eyes, Seth was laying her gently on the bed. His hand brushed against her hair softly and she tried to keep from flinching from his touch.
“It’s a bad one, but it will heal. You will have a scar from it, though,” Seth murmured as he examined the wound more closely. He straightened and let out a harsh breath. “Let me gather a few things and I will get you stitched up so you can rest.”
She watched him in silence as he left the room and her mind returned to the last moments of the battle as she stared up at the ceiling.
Seth’s accusations rang in her mind and she swallowed heavily at the memory of his words. It had been Neph that had cursed her, but from what she had overheard it hadn’t been something that was done in malice. Zyi Delvayon, the name echoed in her mind and something stirred deep inside her.
According to Seth, Undrae never remembered their previous lives, but something about the name blossomed in her mind. Déjà vu coiled around her as she focused on the thought, and an echo of earlier pain returned to her mind. The memory was foggy with most of the details lost in a haze, but she could remember the pain clearly, and a distant voice promising her that everything would be fine.
Her gaze rose once more as Seth entered the room and she watched him approach in silence. He had a small box tucked under his arm and the expression on his face was distracted as he dragged the chair from the center of the room to the bedside. His eyes met hers for a moment as he carefully set the box on the bed beside her and flipped it open. “This is going to hurt,” he warned her softly as he pulled a small needle and some thread from the box.
“I’ve had worse,” Zoelyn whispered faintly and Seth looked up at her with a glint of amusement in his eyes.
“Have you now? That’s a story I haven’t heard from you. I thought you were safe in Glis while Dominic cared for you,” Seth said quietly as he threaded the needle.
“It was in Delvay and the cold was almost as bad as the wounds. The winters in Glis were harsh, but nothing can match the cold of the mountains in Delvay,” Zoelyn whispered and Seth froze. “I can’t hate him for what he did to me,” she added after a long pause.
“You shouldn’t remember anything,” Seth whispered as his golden eyes searched her face. “Undrae never remember who they were.”
Zoelyn ignored the words as more memories surfaced and tears rose in her eyes. “My brother did everything he could to save me, and nearly died in the process. I can’t hate him no matter what magic he used to call me back. At least he loved me enough to try, no matter how wrong it may have been.” Her words faded as she wiped the tears from her eyes and she smiled bitterly as she met Seth’s gaze once more. “I didn’t want you to find my past, but now that you did, I am so grateful. It’s just as painful as I feared it would be, but there is comfort in it too. My life has been hard, but I was loved, and that is something I shall never forget or cast away.”
“Zoey you shouldn’t remember any of this,” Seth repeated and shook his head in confusion.
She snorted in amusement and ignored the flash of pain it caused. “You said I was stronger than other Undrae and I understand why now. I’m Delvay, Seth, and while I never understood what my father meant in life, I do understand his words now. The Delvay are as strong as the mountains and I have finally found my strength. Thank you, Seth. Without you I would have been lost forever.”
Seth stared at her for a long moment before nodding slowly. “I’m not sure I will be able to adjust to calling you Zyi,” he admitted quietly.
“I don’t I want you to,” Zoelyn replied softly. “I may remember who I was, but that doesn’t mean I want to return to that life. I think for now I’m content with being Zoey and learning from the memories of Zyi’s mistakes.” She smiled at him again and carefully pulled her hair back from her head wound. “Would you mind? I remember what it is like to die now, and it’s not something I want to repeat.”
Seth shook his head sharply as he stirred himself from his thoughts and nodded to her quickly. “Of course,” he whispered as he leaned forward to examine the wound again. “It shouldn’t take long if you don’t squirm while I’m stitching,” he informed her quietly as he wiped away the worst of the blood with a damp cloth.
“I won’t move a muscle. I promise,” Zoelyn murmured as she closed her eyes once more. Her mind returned to the faint echoes of her former life and she pushed all of her focus toward the memories to block out the pain. In time, she might even remember why she had died in Delvay. For now, all she could remember about it was betrayal, but she wasn’t sure who had betrayed her.
* * *
The sound of the door opening brought Zoelyn from her rest. She blinked the sleep from her eyes quickly and struggled up from the blankets to gaze at the doorway, hoping to see Seth. Her eyes found Yasny instead and she forced a smile on her face despite the disappointment. It wasn’t that Yasny’s company was bad. It was the simple fact that she had barely seen Seth in the past few days. If it hadn’t been for the dragon’s visits, she would have gone mad from worry.
“No, it’s just me. Sorry to disappoint you,” Yasny said with a smile as she closed the door behind her and moved closer to the bed.
“I’m never disappointed to see you, Yasny. It’s just I haven’t seen him all day. Is he OK?” Zoelyn replied softly as Yasny settled on the bed beside her. She knew Seth was still facing punishment for saving her in Delvay, though he wouldn’t tell her exactly what his punishment was.
“He is fine, as far as I know,” Yasny assured her. Gently the dragon pulled her bandages back and leaned closer to examine the wound on her head. “I think you will be able to take that bandage off today. You heal fast, girl,” she announced with a smile.
“I’m glad to hear that. It itches horribly,” Zoelyn muttered as she stretched and shifted to a more comfortable position. “I’m sick of being in bed,” she added with a sigh. She wasn’t sure exactly how long she had been confined to the room, but she was more than ready to get up. With luck, she might even be able to find Seth and put her worries about him to rest for a while.
“I don’t know. You still seem pale,” Yasny said doubtfully.
“I haven’t had any magic. Of course I look pale,” Zoelyn laughed and motioned toward the dresser. “Seth usually leaves a bag of stones over there for me, but I haven’t been able to get up to reach them. Would you mind bringing them over?”
Yasny glanced back at the dresser and rose silently. After several long minutes of fumbling on the dresser she glanced back at Zoelyn and shook her head softly. “I don’t see a bag here and I don’t follow what you mean about stones or how that would make you pale,” she said with confusion clear in her voice.
“Mage stones. My hair and eyes take on the color of the magic I absorb. Seth usually gives me mostly Shadow magic. He says the black hair makes it impossible for others to know what power I have at my disposal,” Zoelyn explained with a frown. It wasn’t like Seth to forget something as important as the stones.
“Well that is simple enough. I can craft stones for you if you need the energy. I’m afraid I can’t do shadow magic, but I can f
ashion others,” Yasny replied with a smile and moved back to the bed once more. “I think it would do you good to get out of bed for a while and if a bit of magic is all it takes I’m happy to help,” she murmured as she began crafting stones and dropping them in front of Zoelyn.
“Thank you, Yasny. I’m lucky to have you to help,” Zoelyn grinned and picked up the first stone eyeing the deep red color. She had never absorbed much in the way of fire magic. Jala generally crafted stones of pure arcane magic, and Seth’s stones were always dark in color.
Yasny gazed up at her hesitation and smiled widely. “I know it isn’t dark like you are used to, but fire is the easiest for me. Besides you will make a stunning redhead and what man doesn’t love a girl with red hair?” Her tone held a note of teasing to it and Zoelyn blushed in response. No matter how hard she had tried to hide her affection for Seth, Yasny had seen through it easily on her first visit.
“He doesn’t see me that way,” Zoelyn muttered as she absorbed the first stone and savored the rush of power through her weakened body.
“Then we need to open his eyes,” Yasny announced with a playful grin. “And I am just the one to help you with that,” she added with a wink and rose from the bed as Zoelyn lifted the next stone. “Let’s see if Seth left you any other clothing in here aside from the leather armor. Something a bit more feminine would work nicely.”
“I don’t know Yasny,” Zoelyn began hesitantly but the dragon waved a hand in dismissal before she could continue.
“Nonsense. Seth should be grateful that someone like you cares what he thinks and he is my friend after all. If he is too blind to realize you care for him, it is my solemn duty to open his eyes to the fact,” Yasny informed her sweetly as she began pulling the dresser drawers open one by one. “Ahh, ha!” she called happily as she pulled a long green dress from the dresser and turned to face Zoelyn with triumph written clearly on her beautiful face. “It’s a bit old fashioned in cut, but beggars can’t be choosers and this color will look wonderful with the red hair.”
Zoelyn stared at the dress for a long moment and then smiled widely at Yasny. “I never even bothered looking inside the dresser. I always just assumed it was empty. I can’t believe Seth left dresses for me.” She rose unsteadily from the bed and took the garment from Yasny. The soft velvet of the dress slid through her fingers as she held it up before her and gazed into the mirror. Yasny was right. The emerald color of the dress did look splendid next to her red hair and she couldn’t help but keep the smile from her face. “It is so beautiful,” she breathed as she ran a hand down the front of the dress, admiring the delicate stitching that lined the bodice and skirts.
“You are so beautiful,” Yasny corrected softly and smiled at her once more. “Well, get changed, girl. With luck, I can get your hair fixed and have you perfect by the time Seth returns, and won’t he be surprised to see you looking so beautiful. There is no way he will be able to ignore you after this,” she promised.
* * *
Seth slumped against the door as the last of the visions in the room faded. Anger and grief warred in his mind as he waited for the seal on the door to release. He wasn’t sure how much more of his past he could face, but Finn had been adamant about the penance. Considering his actions, though, Seth supposed it was the most lenient punishment the Lord of Death could give, and despite the pain of remembering, he was grateful. Relief washed through him as the door gave behind him and he stumbled into the hallway. Quickly, he rubbed his face and did his best to erase all signs of anguish from his features. Zoey would be awake by now and he didn’t want her to see him looking so pathetic.
“Are you OK, Seth?” Her voice brought his head up sharply and he stared in stunned silence at her form in the doorway of his rooms. It was like looking at a ghost and after the time in penance it was a fresh wound that he couldn’t ignore. The dress she wore had been Dashara’s and her hair was the same deep red. He had never seen Zoelyn’s hair any color but black or white, and she had never fixed it as she wore it now. His gaze trailed across the delicate braids and then down to her face and his shock gave away to anger. There was no way she could have done this by accident. There were just too many details for it to be unintentional.
“What are you doing, Zoey?” Seth asked coldly as he met her eyes and held her gaze.
“I came to find you.” Her voice was hesitant and a wave of confusion crossed her features.
Uncertainty rose in his mind and his anger wavered. “Why are you dressed like that?” he asked cautiously. He tried to keep the desperation from his voice. He needed her to answer in innocence. He didn’t want to believe she was intentionally trying to cause him more pain, not after everything he had put aside to keep her happy. It had taken all of his will to stay rational when facing Neph, but he had done it for her. Despite what he thought of the man, he knew Zoelyn cared for everyone she had lived with in Merro.
“I wanted you to notice me,” Zoelyn murmured and took another half-step into the room. “I was afraid you only saw me as a child, and I wanted you to see me as more,” she added in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
“What else could I see you as, Zoey? You are a child, though you have never showed it as clearly as you are now. Do you not realize what I am, you stupid little girl?” Seth snarled. She flinched at his voice and he instantly regretted his tone. This was not something he could face rationally right now and he knew simply walking away would be his best option, but he couldn’t take his eyes from her.
A breath of desire rose in his chest and his anger redoubled. He didn’t need this, not with everything else. He already cared too much for her, though he hadn’t realized it until she had been wounded. The sheer terror that had seized him when he saw her fall had prompted his actions, despite how wrong they were. To save her, he had been ready to face any punishment Finn chose, but once she was safe, that knowledge had terrified him. If he let this go farther, Zoelyn was one step closer to becoming a memory to haunt him in his room of penance. That’s always how it worked. Everything he ever cared for ended up dead and the only way to save her was to push her away now.
“I know what you ar, Seth,” Zoelyn answered at last. He could see the courage it was taking for her to speak, and a part of him twisted in disgust for his actions. “You aren’t what they call you, Seth. I know you better than that. You aren’t a demon,” she added and took a hesitant step toward him.
“Do you?” Seth snapped, his eyes flashing once more. The desire to comfort her was so strong it almost crushed his anger, but he forced it down. All he had to do was look at her now and remember Dashara to know how it would end for her if he caved in now. He knew she cared for him, and he had fed on that to reach his goals. He had never even considered that he might grow to care about her, though. He had thought he was past that.
“I do,” Zoelyn replied and took another slow step toward him. “You saved me and you have protected me. You aren’t what they say you are, Seth,” she added with a bit more confidence in her voice.
“You don’t know me, Zoey,” Seth hissed as he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. He had to act now before he lost his nerve. Turning quickly he pressed his palm flat on the raven carved door and willed it to open. “You are about to, though, and maybe it will bring you to your senses,” he snarled as he shoved her into the room in front of him. He had never shared his memories before, but this was the quickest way he could think to save them both. Once she saw what he really was she would be disgusted, and once he saw that look on her face he could quit caring about her.
Focusing his will he summoned the earliest of his memories. “Do you want to see me as the child whore, Zoey?” he asked as images of a much younger Seth formed. “Do you want to know how I served the Avanti in the beginning?” He grabbed her by the jaw and held her face, forcing her to watch as the child image of him writhed beneath his former master with tears coursing down his small face.
“I don’t want to see this, Seth,” Zoelyn cried
and tried to pull away from him.
“How about how I killed them all for that?” he whispered in her ear as the illusion skipped ahead to show the mangled bodies of everyone he had killed that night. Even the servant’s children had died under his blade. He had spared no one. “Perhaps you would prefer to see how I killed my mother?” He forced the memories ahead to show her the arena where he had fought and his mother’s pathetic corpse lying below him. He hadn’t shed a tear for her when he killed her, but his eyes were growing glassy now. It was taking more effort than he had thought it would to force the room to show what he wanted. It was designed to play all of the memories fully, but he couldn’t handle that now and he knew it. He was already too close to breaking.
“Seth, why are you doing this?” Zoelyn whimpered, as she pulled on his arm again, desperate to escape his vice-like grip on her jaw.
“Because you say you know me, Zoey,” he whispered. He called on the memories again flashing it forward to the cities he had leveled beyond the barrier. She grew silent in his arms as she watched him slaughter countless people with a savage smile on his face. Then seemed to wilt in his arms as images of disemboweled women and children washed through the room and he pushed the images past to the most painful. “Maybe you would rather watch how I let Dashara die?” His voice was softer now and he could feel her tears coursing over his hand as he held her in place to watch Dashara being tortured. “I didn’t move a muscle when they skinned her,” he hissed with as much ice as he could summon to his voice.
“Enough!” Finn’s voice rang out through the room and the illusions faded at once.
Seth turned slowly to face the Lord of Death and wasn’t sure which fact amazed him more. Finn’s presence in the room, or the sheer power that had echoed in his voice.
Finn glowered at him for a long moment before motioning to Zoelyn. “Release her, Seth,” he commanded with enough power in his voice to send most denizens of the Darklands scurrying for shelter.
The Elder Blood Chronicles Book 4 The Blessed Curse Page 37