Ronda smiled. “Yes. I knew you were going to say that,” she said, and then her hands were suddenly on his head, her thumbs pressing into his eyes.
For a moment, Dan saw nothing but color, and then the inside of his head became a gloopy puree of thoughts and feelings he had absolutely no understanding of. Things that had been, but shouldn’t, or hadn’t been, but should. It all swelled up inside him, and he screamed as he felt like his head was going to crack open and it was all going to come spilling out.
And then Ronda was standing beside Cal again, and Dan was still screaming. It died in his throat when he saw the others all watching him. If he’d had any blood flow, he’d have blushed.
“Ye alright there, Deadman?”
Dan coughed. “Fine.”
“It’s just, ye were squealin’ like a little girl for a moment or two.”
“I’m aware of that.”
Cal hadn’t stopped grinning at him. “Well?”
No, not Cal. That wasn’t his name.
Cal tapped on his chest and spoke slowly, as if addressing a caveman. “Me Cal Carver. Recognize me now?”
Dan nodded, just once. “Nob Muntch,” he said, remembering the name he’d given the guy on his fake ID. Cal’s face fell. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Kind of a long story,” Cal said. He jabbed a thumb in the direction of some approaching sirens. “And sounds like we’re about to have company. We can explain on the way.”
“What’s this eejit talking about?” Artur demanded. “On the way where?”
Cal finally noticed Artur properly, and let out a gasp of delight. “Hey, is that a Leprechaun?” He looked back over his shoulder. “Mech? Loren? You’re not going to believe this. They have a Space Leprechaun!”
He gave Ollie a quick once-over, checking her out. His eyes lingered briefly on the Loopy Lou suit she was still wearing. “And a furry woman with a purple face who smells of urine. Should we bring them, too?”
“How the Hell should I know, man?” demanded a voice from inside the ship. “Just get a motherfonking move on.”
“I’m going to take that as a ‘yes,’” Cal called back. He rested a hand on Ollie’s shoulder, then gave Artur a thumbs-up. “Good news, guys. You’re in!”
“In?” asked Ollie. “I don’t understand.”
“What’s all this about, Nob?” Dan asked.
“Cal. Please,” said Cal.
Dan gave a brief shake of his head.
“OK, well we’ll work on that,” Cal said. “And as for what’s happening…?”
The green blob rolled up his back and onto his shoulder. It rippled gently as he stroked it under the chin.
“We’re going to kill the King of Space,” Cal said. He glanced between them. “You in?”
Dan looked to Ollie and Artur, then around at the carnage in the street. For the first time, he saw Finn’s body lying on the road, and felt an overwhelming urge to put an arm around Ollie’s shoulders. She was standing on his left, though, and he didn’t have enough arm on that side to reach her.
The Tribunal was coming.
This was all going to take a lot of fonking explaining. He was pretty sure he could kiss goodbye to his new office, too.
Dan shrugged.
“Fonk it,” he said. “Could be interesting.”
“Great! Although you may want to find some arms before we set off.”
“Wait? What’s happening?” asked Artur.
Cal squatted and smiled kindly down at him. “Well, hey there, little guy, don’t be afraid,” he said. “We’re going on a big adventure in outer space. There’ll be lasers and bad guys and we’ll probably crash a lot. But don’t worry, Splurt’s little, just like you. He’ll look after you and keep you safe. He’ll make sure nobody hurts you.”
Artur became remarkably still. One of his eyebrows raised. “Ye landed a ship on someone who deserved to have a ship landed on them, so I’m going to give ye one free pass,” he said. “Ye’ve now used that up. That’s gone. No more. So, here’s the thing – if ye talk to me like that again…” He pointed to the green blob on Cal’s shoulder. “…I will shove that thing up yer arse until ye sneeze it back out.” He smiled, showing off his yellow teeth. “How does that sound for a fecking adventure?”
Cal’s eyes became two circles of surprise. “Holy shizz. You even sound like a Leprechaun! This is going to be so awesome!”
Artur clenched his fists, but then shook his head. “Not yet. I’ll wait until ye’re least expecting it,” he said. “I’d sleep with both eyes open from now on, if I were you.”
He held Cal with a threatening glare for a moment, then raised his nose in the air and marched over to where Marnie was standing with the other Deeper Downians.
“Marnie, me darlin’,” he began. “I was just wondering, is there any chance we might—?"
“Fonk off, ‘chaun,” Marnie said. She ushered the moms and their children in the direction of the dock. “If I see you again, I’ll squash you.”
“Right ye are. Fair play,” Artur replied, tapping a finger to his brow. “Take care, now.”
He waited until they were through the factory gates before turning back to Dan and the others. “Fecking dodged a bullet there, didn’t I?” he said. “Looks like I’ve got nothing keeping me around here, so if Deadman’s going, I’m going.”
“To be sure, to be sure,” said Cal, taking his life in his hands.
Dan rested a congealing wrist-stump on Ollie’s shoulder. “You OK, kid?”
Ollie’s eyes filled with tears. “Uh-huh,” she said, but it came out as an unconvincing squeak. Her gaze flitted to the motionless Finn, but quickly returned to Dan. “I feel… sad.”
“I know,” Dan said.
“It’s not fair.”
“I know.”
He awkwardly put both stumps around her and pulled her into a hug.
“You smell,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest.
“I know.”
“Uh, excuse me, sir,” crackled a voice from the ship. It had a pronounced English accent, and might well have been some sort of butler. “Quite a large number of law enforcement vehicles are heading our way.”
“I’m aware of that, Kevin,” Cal replied.
“Should I destroy them?”
“Fonk, no! Don’t do that. We’re just coming.” Cal looked across the faces of Dan, Ollie, and their adorable little Space Leprechaun. “We are just coming, right? Adventure awaits.”
Ollie stepped back from Dan.
“What kind of adventure?” she asked.
“The best kind,” said Cal, his grin somehow widening further. “Galaxy-saving seat-of-the-pants space adventure.”
Ollie inhaled slowly. She took one last look at Finn, then wiped her eyes on her enormous furry hand.
“OK,” she said. “We’re in.”
THE END
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ALSO BY BARRY J. HUTCHISON
SPACE TEAM SERIES
Space Team
Space Team: The Wrath of Vajazzle
Space Team: The Search for Spurt
Space Team: Song of the Space Siren
Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan
Space Team: Return of the Dead Guy
Space Team: Planet of the Japes
Space Team: The Time Titan of Tomorrow
Space Team: The King of Space Must Die
Space Team: A Lot of Weird Space Shizz
DAN DEADMAN SERIES
“Dial D for Deadman”
“Dead Inside”
EVERYTHING ELSE
The Bug
Table of Contents
Title Page
Contents
Epigraph
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
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Oh! I Almost forgot…
Also by Barry J. Hutchison
Dead in the Water_A Space Team Universe Novel Page 27