“We’re going to the gold fields.”
She stifled a gasp. “Why? You can hardly walk, let alone pan for gold.”
“There’s other money to be made in the mining towns. I plan to open a store.”
“Have you decided where?”
“A placed called Downieville, on the fork of the North Yuba. I hear they’ve hit pay dirt there.”
For a moment she stood silent, amazed and shaken. “When do you plan to leave?”
“When we reach the cutoff—in two or three days.” He smiled benignly, as if dealing with a temperamental child. “I’ll be taking my daughter, so if you want to come along, you’d better start saying goodbye to all your dear friends. If you don’t wish to come, say goodbye to Amy.”
“Who would take care of her?” Her voice was panicky.
“Not your concern.” His smile disappeared, replaced by a look so menacing and downright cruel she wanted to cringe. “If you decide to come, don’t forget your dearest of friends, Clint. Be sure to give him a fond farewell because you’re never going to see him again.”
In an agony of indecision, Lucy walked away from Abner’s wagon, so shocked by his announcement she hardly noticed the slight breeze, scented with evergreen, that whispered through the tall pine trees. After the ordeal of the desert, she should have appreciated the coolness of the mountain air, but her agitated thoughts lay elsewhere. What was she to do? She couldn’t go to Downieville with Abner. But how could she leave that dear little baby in his care? By now, she loved Amy as if she were her own. If need be, she’d lay down her life for that child.
So here she was, right back where she started from, forced to let Abner run her life, only this time his hold on her was because of Amy, not poor little Noah.
Clint. She must find Clint. Maybe he could help somehow. She fervently hoped he could, because how could she say goodbye forever to the man she loved? How could she bear not seeing him again? Stepping carefully—there was only a sliver of a moon tonight—she walked to the campfire and stood in the shadows, just beyond the circle of light. For a time she listened to the lively strains of “Old Dan Tucker,” played by Erasmus on his fiddle. Chatter and laughter filled the air. Some were clapping their hands to the lively tune; others were up dancing a reel. Where was Clint? She scanned the crowd but couldn’t find him. She searched again and spied Charlie, but Clint wasn’t with him. Perhaps his wagon? She slipped away, relieved no one had seen her, and walked to Clint’s wagon. No trouble finding it. She always knew exactly where it was. Sure enough, as she drew closer, she could make out his form, sitting on the wagon seat, doing nothing, far as she could see, just staring into the darkness.
She came close. “Clint?” she said softly.
He looked down at her. She could barely see his face. “Lucy? Why aren’t you dancing?”
“Why aren’t you?”
He let a long moment go by before he spoke again. “I was waiting for you.”
Now she was the one who remained silent. She couldn’t get the words out, yet she knew she must. “I just talked to Abner.”
“And?”
“He’s decided not to farm. Instead he’s going to Downieville to open a store, and he’s taking Amy with him. Oh, Clint ...” She gulped, trying to curb the hysteria in her voice. “What am I to do? I can’t let him take her.”
In a flash, Clint sprang from the wagon and stood close, gripping her arms. “You’re not going to spend the rest of your life with Abner.”
“I could never leave Amy to his tender care.”
“You won’t have to.”
“But how—?”
“You let me worry about that.”
“That’s what you always say.”
“Have I ever let you down?”
No, he hadn’t. She laid her hand lightly upon his cheek. “You know I trust you, but how can you possibly deal with Abner other than dispatching him with that huge knife of yours?”
“There are other ways.”
“Like what?”
“Abner may love God, but there’s one thing he loves more, and that’s money.”
“Are you saying—?”
“I’m saying Abner can be bought. Money-wise, he hasn’t fared well on this journey. He had to dump all that whiskey. He sold his cattle for a song when he chose to take that lunatic shortcut. Now he’s down to one wagon, four tired oxen, and whatever cash he has left.” He cupped her chin tenderly in his hand. “Let me do the worrying and not let Abner ruin our night.”
“But the money—”
“I said, don’t worry. Charlie and I aren’t in this business for fun, you know. We’ve earned a few dollars along the way. We’ve talked enough.” He pulled her roughly, almost violently, into his arms. Heart pounding, she forgot about Abner and flung her arms around Clint’s neck as his warm lips hungrily covered hers. Pressing against him, she rejoiced in the feel of every hard inch of him. It was as if a dam had broken, releasing their bottled-up passion in one enormous rush. For weeks she’d lived on the searing memories of their kiss in the woods and that rainy afternoon in the wagon. With every grinding step across the desert she’d wanted it to happen again, and now it had.
Their kiss continued. His ragged breathing told her that he, too, felt the excitement of this moment. A delicious shiver of wanting flowed through her, caused by his kiss, caused by that rugged buckskin, tantalizingly masculine smell about him that made her knees grow weak.
Finally he pulled his lips away. “How I’ve wanted this,” he whispered, shaking his head in wonder. “Lucy, darling Lucy ...” Before she could answer, his lips found the pulsing hollow at the base of her throat. She tilted her head back, wanting more, and more ... oh, she didn’t want him to stop!
At last he raised his head, stepped back, and gripped her arms. “Let this be our night.” His strong, sure hands caressed her hair, ran down over her breasts, gripped her waist. “For one night let’s not fight this ... this constant, damnable, overpowering desire that hangs between us. It is driving me mad. You drive me mad.”
No way in the world could she say no to this irresistible man. From not far away, she heard Erasmus strike up a new tune. “We can’t stay here.”
He took her hand. “Come, I know a place where no one will find us.”
Clint led her to a secluded spot by the river where he scooped her in his arms and laid her gently on a soft bed of pine needles. Overhead, faint light from the half moon filtered through a canopy of branches. Far in the distance she could hear the music of the fiddle, now nearly obscured by the soothing murmur of the river flowing by. At last they were alone, all those weeks of unfulfilled desire finally at an end. Clint lay half on top of her and laid a hand over her breast. Feeling the warmth of it through the fabric, she uttered an “Umm” and pulled him close. Hungrily his mouth covered hers in an urgent, exploratory kiss that made her body tingle. Soon his tongue forced her lips apart. When it touched the tip of her tongue, an intense desire flared within her. He lifted his lips and whispered, “I want to see all of you.”
She whispered back, “I want you to.”
With maddening, delectable slowness, he unbuttoned the six buttons that formed a row down the front of her bodice. Quietly she lay beneath him, her aching need increasing as he bent to his task. When he finished, he laid open her bodice and caught his breath at the sight of her breasts exposed in the moonlight. “They’re beautiful.” He ran his hands over her nipples, touching them only briefly, but long enough that she yearned for their return. He kissed her lips again, this time using his tongue to penetrate deep inside her mouth. While he explored, she ran her tongue over his, another thrilling intimacy that made her want him closer still.
“Let’s get these clothes off,” he said. Swiftly they undressed each other. Soon, just as before, he was running his hands over her nakedness, stopping here and there to tease and explore. She grew increasingly aroused as he began a path down her body, kissing and licking as he went. She was acutely aware
of every kiss, every flick of his tongue as it traveled until he reached her silky mound. “Spread your legs. I want to kiss you there.”
With eager abandon, she moved her legs apart. What next? Jacob had never done more than just the one position. With him it was on and off quick and never a thought to her pleasure. Now Clint was going to kiss her there. With trembling anticipation, she awaited the touch of his tongue on the most private, intimate part of her, which now seemed the very center of all her currents of throbbing desire. When she felt its roughness, her whole body quivered from the exquisite sensation. “Oh, that’s good, so very good.”
“Then I won’t stop.” He continued on, his tongue bringing her to ever higher levels of ecstasy. “You’d better stop. I’m about to explode.”
He stopped at once. “Not that way.” Again his hard body was atop her. “This way.” She gripped his shoulders while he pushed his shaft into her, tantalizingly slow. When it was all the way in, with one quick, strong swoop, he turned them over so she now sat astride, gazing down at his face in the moonlight. She gave a joyous laugh. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“Many. This is just the beginning.”
Moaning with pleasure, she settled back on the long, hard length of him that pulsed inside her.
He raised his hands to caress the tips of her breasts. “Now you do the work.”
“Like this?” She pushed on her knees, raised up, then slowly brought herself down, sliding over his hardness. It felt so good, she raised up and down again, then again, wrapped in a sensuous rhythm that sent her to new heights of arousal. At last, her body flooded with desire, she hurtled beyond the point of no return. “Oh, I’m going to ... it’s ... oh, oh!”
The hot tide of passion that had built within her exploded, sending her into a paroxysm of shuddering ecstasy. The next instant, she heard him gasp, felt his grip tight on her thighs, and knew he had exploded, too.
They collapsed on the bed of pine needles, lying exhausted in each other’s arms. Finally he propped himself up on one elbow. “How was it?”
“Mmm,” she ran her fingers over his bare chest. “Until the day I die, I’ll never forget this night. My sister was right.”
“Right about what?” He ran a loving, leisurely finger along her cheek.
“She said that that part of a marriage is a beautiful thing. That’s why I was so disappointed when Jacob ... well, he just didn’t—”
“I know.”
“Never in all the time I was married did I ...”
“But tonight?”
“Ah, yes.” Clint would laugh if she quoted Sarah exactly, telling him she’d been carried away on the wings of love, but that’s just the way she felt. Now, slowly returning to the real world, all the doubts and fears she’d forgotten for a precious while came flooding back. Would she never feel this way again in her whole life? She breathed a deep sigh. “You’re sure about Abner?”
“Do you think I can let you go now?” Clint stroked her hair and trailed kisses across her cheek. “I love you. I never thought I’d say that to a woman. I used to think I’d spend the rest of my life in the wilderness, but that was before I fell in love with you.”
His words made her blissfully happy, grateful just to be alive. “Do you think we could settle down somewhere?”
“Of course. After we’re married, we’ll decide where. You and I belong together, and Amy, too. God knows, he cares nothing for her.”
Never to see Abner again ... how delightful to contemplate! “I dreaded the thought of going off to Downieville with him.”
“You’re coming with me.”
“Tomorrow you’ll talk to Abner?”
His voice was full of confidence. “Charlie and I are going hunting in the morning. As soon as I get back, I’ll have that chat with Abner.”
Chapter 20
When Lucy returned from the river, she could still hear the music from the campfire. Approaching the Applegates’ wagon to pick up Amy, she couldn’t contain herself and danced a happy step along the way. She was about to see the last of Abner! Amy would soon be all hers, and—best and most delightful of all—Clint loved her, she adored him, and they were going to be together for the rest of their lives. How incredibly wonderful. How incredibly happy could she be?
At the back of the Applegates’ wagon, she knocked softly. Young Jessie stuck her head out. “The baby’s not here. Mister Schneider came and got her a while back.”
Since when did Abner have the faintest interest in caring for his own child? “Where did he take her?”
“To his tent, Mrs. Schneider. I know because I had to carry her, him being on crutches and all.”
Lucy managed a polite thank you, not easy when a wave of apprehension was sweeping through her. She no longer felt like dancing as she headed toward the far end of the campsite where Abner had parked his wagon and pitched his tent alongside. When she reached it, she saw a figure looming in the darkness. “Abner?”
“Where have you been?” His voice was hard and low, barely above a whisper.
“At the campfire.”
“No, you weren’t.” Leaning on his crutches, he took a step toward her. “You whore! You’ve been with Clint, haven’t you?”
He knew! She gasped from the shock. Her mind raced. What should she say? She must think of an excuse ... something ... but before she could frame a reply, he tossed one of his crutches to the ground and grabbed her arm. In a flash, he twisted it behind her, causing her to spin around and gasp at the sudden pain. She was half bent over.
“What are you doing?”
“If ye shall still do wickedly, ye shall be consumed,” he hissed. He bent her arm up, only a little, but the pain was incredible. “Admit you were with Clint!”
She gritted her teeth. Tears welled in her eyes. “Please, you’re hurting me!”
He bent close to her ear. “I can smell him on you. Confess! Or I’ll twist your arm clear off.”
The music stopped. Lucy heard people still chatting around the campfire. If she screamed, they’d surely hear and come running, but she didn’t want to scream. She’d die of mortification if anyone witnessed this ugly scene.
“Tell me!” Again, Abner jerked her arm up. She thought she’d faint from the pain. From inside the tent, she heard a sudden wake-up wail from the baby. “There’s Amy. Let me go to her.”
He tightened his grip. “Admit you were with Clint.”
What with the pain and Amy crying, she knew she couldn’t fight anymore, and besides, there was no sense lying. “All right, let me go, and I’ll tell you.”
He let go and shoved her hard up against the wagon, his hand pressing against her throat. “Talk!”
“I can’t when you’re choking me.”
He removed his hand but remained so close she could feel his hot breath upon her face. What could she say? He could easily kill her, and probably would if she spoke the truth. Perhaps she could reason with him. “First, you need to calm down.” She tried to assume a reasonable tone. “I must go see about Amy. She’s crying.”
He was still in her face. “You’ll never see her again if you don’t confess your sins.”
She had no choice. It was time for the truth. “All right, step back and I’ll tell you.”
“I’m listening.”
She took a deep breath. “Listen carefully. I love Clint, and he loves me. We want to be together, with Amy, too. You know you can’t care for her properly. She’ll be so much better off with—”
“You ... you strumpet!”
His hands dug hard into her shoulders. She twisted, trying to knock them away. “Now let me go. The baby—”
“I ought to kill you.” His hands went around her throat again. She waited, her insides trembling, not knowing if these moments might be her last. He dropped his hands. “Get in the tent.” His voice was so absolutely devoid of emotion it chilled her to the bone.
Without another word, she entered the tent and picked up Amy, who by now was cryi
ng lustily. Cuddling the child, she whispered softly, “Now, now, sweetheart, you mustn’t cry.”
Abner hobbled in behind her. Without warning, he swept Amy out of her arms.
“What are you doing?” She reached for the baby, but Abner moved back, jerking the tiny bundle out of her reach.
“Not so fast.” His lips twisted into a cynical smile. “Wouldn’t it be a shame if something happened to the child?”
Icy fear twisted around her heart. “You wouldn’t—”
“Accidents happen.” He smiled. “Sometimes babies get sick or run over by a wagon, or they smother ... like this.”
Lucy watched in horror as Abner slowly, deliberately, covered the baby’s face with the palm of his hand. “Abner, stop! You wouldn’t!” She threw herself at him, tried with all her might to wrench the child from his arms, but even in his weakened condition, Abner was much stronger than she. Easily he pushed her away.
“You’ll never get away with this!”
“I won’t? Babies die all the time.” A satanic smile spread over his thin lips. He nodded toward the campsite with a taut jerk of his head. “You think those people care? They wouldn’t lift a finger to help. All they want is to get to California. Besides, who’d take a mere woman’s word against mine?”
What he said was true. Even if everyone knew the truth, what justice could she expect on a wagon train? A sick realization crept over her. Abner was not making an empty threat. She had thought him a bit strange, as did everyone, but now she could see from the crazed look in his eyes he’d crossed a line from eccentricity to insanity. Or had he been insane all along? It didn’t matter. He meant what he said. He’d kill little Amy if had to. “All right, you win. I’ll do anything you want.”
He lifted his hand. The false smile disappeared, replaced by an expression of viciousness mixed with hate. “Pick up my Bible.”
She did.
“Get on your knees.”
Desperate, her heart pounding, she hastened to obey.
Heartbreak Trail Page 25