by La Jill Hunt
Kayla tried to brush her friend off, but it wasn’t working. She was scared and had to tell someone. Roni was her best friend, but she was embarrassed. Shit, it was Roni who gave her the condom that she didn’t use. How could she tell her that she was that irresponsible? All of the questions and feelings that Kayla felt overwhelmed her and she began to cry.
“Kayla, talk to me. What is going on?” Roni hugged her girlfriend and tried to comfort her. Kayla told Roni about her unplanned pregnancy. She even told her about the night she spent with Geno, and how it made her feel even worse knowing that he had moved on, but she was still harboring feelings for him.
“Kayla, it’s okay. Geno is gonna be a good father. He still loves you and he will love this baby too.”
“But, Ron. You don’t understand. I can’t have this baby. You don’t get it. Geno isn’t the father. Craig is,” she admitted to her best friend. She had finally said it. She even felt somewhat relieved.
“Damn.”
“Exactly. I cannot keep it. It makes no sense.”
“Kayla, it doesn’t have to make sense in order for you to keep it. You don’t know what you’re saying. You have never believed in abortion, Kay. But now because the man you wanted to be your baby daddy ain’t, you want to get rid of it? That’s not even you, Kay. You don’t even think like that.” Roni sat up and looked at her.
“But Ron, I don’t have no money to take care of a baby. And what about Mama and Daddy? They are gonna be pissed too. And Craig, don’t even get me started on him,” Kayla cried.
“You know that if you want to have this baby for real, Kay, it’s gonna be taken care of. Your mama and daddy are still gonna love you no matter what. And we can let the child support judge take care of that nigga if he don’t wanna act right. I just want you to see all the sides of this before you decide to do something I know you don’t want to, Kayla. Take it from someone who’s been there. It’s not an easy thing to do. But I am here for you no matter what you decide to do.”
“Ron, I—” Kayla began, but Roni cut her off.
“Senior year, sweetie. Remember? But I did what was best for me at the time. Why do you think I stay on y’all about condoms? A lot of good it did you, I see.”
Kayla could not help but laugh. She was glad she had decided to confide in Roni. They talked a little while longer and then Roni stood up to leave.
“Know that I love you and support you, and so do a lot of other people, Kay. Unconditionally, no matter who your baby daddy is.” She hugged Kayla and said good-bye.
6
For three days Kayla’s routine consisted of sleeping, taking showers, drinking tea and water, eating crackers and throwing up. On Thursday morning, she rolled over and looked at the alarm clock. The numbers read eleven twenty-one. November twenty-first, my due date. Kayla did the only thing she knew how; she began to pray.
Okay, God, I am finished having my pity party. It’s just you and me now. What I did was wrong, and I am asking you to forgive me. But I know that what has come out of it is a blessing, not a curse. Please, God, guide me and tell me what to do. Give me the strength to make it through this, because I can’t do it without You. She closed her eyes and did not realize that she had gone back to sleep until she checked the time, and this time it read two fourteen. Kayla knew what her next move had to be. Okay, God, here goes, she thought as she reached for the cordless phone and dialed the numbers.
“Hey, beautiful. I was hoping you would call me,” Craig said when he answered.
“Hi. Are you at work?” she asked him. She could not remember his schedule.
“I get off at three. Why? What’s up?”
“I need to talk to you. Do you think you can stop by on your way home? Or maybe I can meet you at your house?” Kayla felt that this was something she should tell him in person rather than over the phone.
“No! I mean, I’m not going straight home.”
“Then can I meet you somewhere?”
“What’s the deal? I guess I can swing by your place. Is this gonna lake long, because I have somewhere to be.”
“No. I just need to talk to you.” Kayla tried not to be irritated by his covertness. She gave him directions to her apartment and got up to prepare for what she was about to do.
“Nice place.” Craig gave her a quick hug and kissed her lightly.
“It’s not quite as lavish as yours. Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?” She remembered to be cordial. He is a guest, she reminded herself.
“No, no thanks.” He looked down at his watch, “So is this just a ploy to get me into your bed?” He smiled his sexy smile; always the flirt. He sat on the soft, hunter green sofa that Kayla had inherited from her parents’ den.
“Definitely not. That’s the reason I’m in the shape I am in now.” Kayla tried to say what she needed to say without coming straight out and telling him.
“Um, you look like you’re in great shape to me, Beautiful.”
“Not for long.” She chose to sit in the chair across from him so she could look him right in his face.
“All right, Kayla. What is this all about? Come on. I told you I gotta be somewhere.”
“Okay. You know I’ve been sick, right?” she began.
“Yeah. I know you called me some other nigga’s name at the club last week. You said you were tired. What’s wrong?” He began to look worried.
“I’m pregnant,” she told him quietly. She looked in his face for some type of reaction. He just nodded his head.
“Okay.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“By you,” she whispered.
“What? Me? Are you sure? We were together only one time.” He responded like she had made a bad menu choice, rather than told him she was carrying his child. She thought it would go a lot worse than it was. Kayla had heard horror stories from other women when they told guys they were pregnant and it was unplanned.
“It only takes one time, Craig.”
“All right. So, how much you need?”
“What do you mean?” She was confused.
“For the procedure. I mean, you want me to pay half. Isn’t that why I’m over here?”
“What procedure?” the realism of what he was talking about sunk in. “The only procedure I’m having is a full-term delivery,” she said angrily.
Craig looked down at his watch. “Look, Kayla. Obviously you haven’t thought this all the way through. I ain’t in no position to have a baby. I mean, you said so yourself you gotta work two jobs to make ends meet. How you gonna take care of a baby?”
Now, this is the reaction Kayla was expecting. She felt the anger rise in her body. “I plan on doing what I need to and do a hell of a job taking care of my baby! I mean, it is my body!”
“This baby might not even be mine. I ain’t even gonna get into this with you, Kayla. But if it is, I’m telling you that I can’t take care of a baby. Not right now. I just can’t. Now you can be a superwoman and do what you want to do because it’s your body or whatever. But I’m just trying to tell you up front. I ain’t trying to have a kid right now!”
“Then your ass shoulda considered that when you went raw dog on me. And furthermore, you ain’t my prime choice to be the father of my child. Nigga, ain’t nobody trying to trap your ass if that’s what you’re thinking!” Kayla got up and stood in his face, taking him by surprise.
“The only thing I’m thinking is that you done lost your damn mind!” He took a step back for fear that she would swing on him.
“I ain’t lost my mind yet! Look, I did not call you over here to argue. I’m just trying to talk to you about the situation at hand.” She took a deep breath and rubbed her temples, trying to calm down.
“The situation at hand is this, you are not trying to hear nothing I have to say right about now and I gotta go. I’ll call you later once you’ve calmed the fuck down and are rational.” He stood up and walked out, leaving her stunned, wondering what she was supposed to do next.
7
It was May and Kayla was now three months pregnant. She still hadn’t told anyone, with the exception of Roni and Craig, because she didn’t feel ready yet. She was still trying to convince herself that she was making the right decision by keeping this baby. She hadn’t talked to Craig since the night she’d told him about the baby. She didn’t call him and he didn’t call her; not that she expected him to. She figured that she wouldn’t really start to show until after school was out, so she wouldn’t have to do a whole lot of explaining to her parents or her students until the start of the new school year, if they let her return.
Kayla was sitting at her desk, grading papers as her students worked on their Mother’s Day cards. Next year, I will be celebrating Mother’s Day, she thought. Suddenly, David, one of her students was on the ground.
“Stop!” She heard him yell out. She stood just in time to see another student, Nate, snatch something out of his hands as he tried to get up.
“Gimme my glue stick, punk!” he responded.
“It’s not yours!” David began. The remainder of the class began to crowd around to get a front row view.
“Nate! David! What is going on?” Kayla rushed over to stop whatever was about to start.
“This punk took my glue stick! I just took it back!”
“It’s mine, Ms. Hopkins. Look at the bottom. My mom put my initials on it. He picked it up when it rolled on the floor,” David explained.
“Give me the glue.” Nate stood, looking at her like he wanted to kill her, but Kayla was determined not to bend. She looked at him just as hard and yelled, “Now!”
“I hate you!” Nate yelled as he picked up the desk and hurled it at her. The students began to duck and scream as Kayla watched it fall in front of her.
“Pick it up,” she told him calmly. He looked confused, so she told him again, “Pick it up. You missed the first time. Now this time I need you to hit me so I can sue your parents for your house and their cars, and I can sue the school, too. Now let’s try it again. Pick it up.”
“No!” He spat at her.
“I’m giving you another chance. Pick it up. If you’re gonna get suspended for it, at least get the satisfaction of knowing that you hit me, Nate. Now pick it up.”
“I ain’t getting suspended,” he laughed. “Don’t you know how much money my parents donate to this school? Mrs. Warren ain’t suspending me, ’cause if she do, my parents are gonna pull me out. Can’t you see? I rule this school.”
“We’ll see. Well, I gave you a chance and you didn’t take it. Don’t even bother taking your books. I’ll bring them down when I bring your referral.” She walked back to her desk and went back to grading her papers.
Her students were still stunned by the incident and were not moving. “Finish your gifts so you can take them home,” she announced. Nate stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Kayla waited about fifteen minutes before she went down to the office, giving Nate and herself some time to cool off. She was so mad she wanted to smack him. She was going to demand expulsion for him. Nate was more of a problem than the school deserved to deal with, and she was no longer going to tolerate his behavior. She walked into the office and found him sitting in the waiting area.
“Where is Mrs. Warren?” she asked the secretary.
“Giving a tour. She should be right back. Did he really throw a desk at you?” She looked shocked.
“Yep,” Kayla answered and looked at the crude little boy, sitting like he owned the joint. “I’ve gotta go back to the class. Tell Mrs. Warren she can buzz me if she needs me.” Kayla proceeded down the hallway.
“Ms. Hopkins?” She heard Mrs. Warren’s voice and looked up. “We just left your classroom.”
“You did?” Kayla commented, not realizing who “we” were. She hated the dimly lit hallways of the school.
“Yes, this is Mr. and Mrs. Coleman. They are enrolling their son, Nigel, in the fall.” Mrs. Warren introduced the couple. As Kayla extended her hand, she looked at the gentleman’s face and nearly passed out.
“Ms. Hopkins is one of our best teachers.” Mrs. Warren beamed.
“Avis Coleman.” The dark skinned woman with the bad weave job shook Kayla’s hand. “This is my husband, Craig.”
“Nice to meet you.” Kayla did not look at them. She kept her focus on Mrs. Warren. “I hope my students were on their best behavior?”
“Of course. They have made some beautiful gifts for their mothers. They will be so pleased on Sunday,” Mrs. Warren said to her.
“Your classroom is so nice,” bad-weave wife commented.
“Yes, it was beautiful,” Craig had the audacity to say. Kayla wanted to punch him in the forehead. The motherfucker was actually smiling at her.
“Thank you. Well, I have to be getting back to help them finish up. Enjoy the rest of your tour.” She quickly returned to her classroom and sat down. Her head was going in fifty million directions and she felt like she wanted to throw up. Somehow, Kayla made it to the restroom in the teachers’ lounge and stood over the sink to splash cold water on her face.
Married. How can he be married? I have been to his home, in his bed. He cannot be married. Kayla tried to think of every detail of the house and could not come up with anything that might have indicated that a woman lived there, let alone a wife and a family. All the times he couldn’t make it when we were supposed to go out, the supposed ‘double shifts’ he had to work—all lies. Kayla was furious. She didn’t know who she was angrier with, Craig for being so damn deceitful or herself for being so damn naïve. And this nigga smiled at me in front of his goddamn wife.
Kayla thought about marching into the principal’s office and telling the ghetto woman about her husband who tried to come off as so fucking polite. But then, there was no way she could look into his face without smacking the shit outta him, so she decided to chill, for now. The sound of the bell startled her and she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. She quickly got herself together and returned to the classroom. Sitting at her desk, she remained motionless, unable to think.
“Ms. Hopkins?” She looked up to see Mrs. Warren standing in the doorway. “Can I speak to you in the hall?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Kayla tried to think of a way to explain to Mrs. Warren that she had no idea Craig was married.
“I wanted to talk to you before Nate’s parents got here,” Mrs. Warren said when Kayla reached the hall.
Nate. The desk. Kayla had almost forgotten about the incident.
“Okay.” Kayla shrugged.
“What brought this on, Ms. Hopkins?” Mrs. Warren walked closer to Kayla.
“Nate took David’s glue and when David took it back, Nate pushed him. When I told him to go to the office, he picked up the desk and threw it at me,” Kayla told her.
“Did David aggravate Nate in any way?”
“No.” Kayla was confused at this point.
“Did you say anything out of the way to Nate?”
Kayla could feel heat rising to her neck and she had to tell herself to remain calm. “Are you asking me did I somehow provoke this incident, Mrs. Warren?”
“I know that you have had some conflicts in your classroom a few times these past couple of weeks involving Nathaniel. I just want to hear your version before I speak with his parents.” Mrs. Warren began to read the bulletin board. Kayla could not believe what her boss was trying to say. She don’t have my back, she thought. She is trying to make this my fault and keep that bad-ass boy in school. Nate was right.
“Mrs. Warren, Nate bullies others, he doesn’t get bullied. He harasses his classmates and he is disrespectful to the staff. We give him chance after chance and he does not improve. And now, you’re still not kicking him out, are you?” Kayla said incredulously.
“Ms. Hopkins, Nathaniel Morgan has been at this school since he was four years old. His parents are some of our biggest contributors and support this school in all of its endeavors. Now, I know that Nate has been going
through a rough time of it, but his parents and I feel that it would not be in his best interest to remove Nathaniel from school at this time.”
“You mean he is not even being suspended?” Kayla was appalled at what Mrs. Warren was saying. “He could’ve hurt me or another child with that desk. You’ve gotta be kidding me, right?”
“It’s near the end of the school year and he will need to prepare to take his final examinations, Ms. Hopkins. This school is in the habit of solving problems, not expelling them. That is one of the goals of Academy.”
“Okay, Mrs. Warren. But it’s in my best interest to educate my students without having a menace in my classroom trying to prevent that from happening. And since the Academy and I don’t have the same goals or interests, I quit!”
Kayla went into her room, gathered the remainder of her things and strutted out of the classroom, pausing before she left. “You may have the pleasure of letting Nate’s parents know that I won’t be provoking him anymore, because I am no longer their son’s teacher. I will let my other parents know personally. Good-bye, Mrs. Warren. Good luck finding a sub!”
8
It can’t get any worse than this. Kayla looked on the caller ID as her phone rang later that night and then realized it could.
“Hello.”
“Kayla Denise Hopkins, why haven’t you called me?”
“Hi, Mama. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy. You know I work two jobs,” Kayla answered. She knew her mother was mad because she used Kayla’s full name. She wanted to call her mother, she really did, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.
“I don’t care how many jobs you work. Your Daddy and I been worried sick. I know you know I been calling because you got caller ID. Did you get the message I left for you last week? And don’t lie to me, either.”
“Yes, Mama. I told you, I’ve been working.” Kayla sighed.
“Are you coming home this weekend?” her mother asked.
“No, Mama. You know my car has been acting up.” That was the truth. Her car had been acting crazy over the past couple of weeks.