by La Jill Hunt
Nicole had moved into the city to be near Gary after she finished nursing school. They never spoke of their father and their mother had passed away a few years earlier from cancer. Gary was protective, often overbearing of his older sister, and it wasn’t a secret that he and Terrell didn’t care for each other. He had served seven years in the penitentiary for drugs and acted like that fact alone made him hard-core. Terrell wasn’t impressed with him, though, and didn’t perpetrate like he was.
“Terrell,” Gary said as he sat across the table from him. He was dressed in jeans and wife beater, which did nothing to complement his skinny frame.
“Gary.” Terrell didn’t look up from his plate.
Nicole offered Gary a plate, but he declined. “No thanks.”
“I thought the reason you stopped by was to eat.” She sucked her teeth at her brother.
“Changed my mind. I don’t have much of an appetite now.” He glared across the table. Terrell lifted his eyes and looked over at Nicole. He decided to let her respond, rather than giving Gary one of his own.
“Gary, don’t start.”
“Don’t start what? You want me to sit here and act like everything is fine with this?” he snarled.
“Fine with what? You have a problem with me eating dinner at your sister’s crib?” Terrell asked, placing his fork down and wiping his mouth. He had kept quiet long enough.
“Terrell, go ahead and eat,” Nicole told him.
“No. What I have a problem with is you knocking my sister up!” Gary pulled out a piece of paper and threw it on the table. Nicole walked over and snatched it up.
“What? You’re going through my stuff, Gary?” she shrieked.
“What is it?” Terrell asked, reaching for the paper.
“My ultrasound picture,” Nicole answered. She shook her head at her brother in disbelief and began rubbing her temples. Terrell walked behind her and massaged her shoulders. He knew she was upset. The one thing she had been worried about for the past few weeks was how to break the news to Gary.
“I can’t believe you, Nickey!”
“Calm down,” she told him.
“You lied to me.” Gary stood up.
“Gary . . .” Terrell’s voice was calm. He knew this was going to be a difficult situation to diffuse.
“You shut up! I ain’t talking to you!”
“Hold up, cuz.” Terrell could feel his anger mounting although he was determined to maintain his composure.
“No, you hold up, and I ain’t your cuz!” he spat.
Nicole shrugged Terrell’s hands off her shoulders and took a step toward her brother. “Gary, you need to stop this right now.”
“You lied. Straight-up lied to me to my face. I thought we were better than that, Nickey. I asked you if you were sleeping with him, if you two were serious. You said no.”
Terrell felt his body tighten as he looked from Nicole then to Gary, who was still talking.
“‘No, Gary, I’m not serious about him. It’s not even that deep.’ That’s what you said, remember? Well, let’s see how deep it is, huh, Nickey? Is he gonna marry you?”
Nicole stood there, obviously stunned by her brother’s outburst. Her lips were pursed together in anger and her chest rose and fell with each breath she took.
“Maybe I should ask him since you don’t seem to know the answer. Well, cuz, are you gonna marry her?”
“Don’t answer that.” Nicole turned and touched Terrell’s shoulder. Her eyes told him she was pleading, and he remained silent. “Gary, don’t be ignorant.”
“How is that ignorant? What’s wrong, cuz? You can’t answer?” He paused momentarily. “I guess not.”
“He doesn’t have to answer you! Don’t answer him, Terry.”
“I’m outta here,” Terrell told her. “I’ll call you later.”
“Terrell, wait.” She walked behind him as he exited the kitchen and headed out the door. He felt drunk, like everything was moving too fast and he couldn’t keep up. His day had been filled with emotional chaos and lack of sleep.
“Let that nigga go, Nickey. You don’t need him anyway!”
“Terrell, please stop. Don’t listen to him, please,” Nicole said as he continued out into the hallway of her apartment.
“Look, I ain’t gonna disrespect you or your house by disrespecting your short-ass brother, so I’m leaving. I’ll call you later,” he told her.
“Wait a minute, Terrell, I don’t want you to leave like this. Talk to me,” she demanded as she followed him all the way to his car.
“I ain’t in the mood for talking right now, Nicole. Now’s just not a good time for me. It’s been a long night and I just need to go home, take a shower and lay down before I go back the hospital. We’ll talk later.”
“I wanna talk now.”
“You wanna talk now? Whatcha wanna talk about Nicole?”
“I know you’re mad, Terrell. I’m sorry my brother is a jerk.”
“You told him you weren’t serious about me, Nicole? This whole thing has been a joke to you?” he asked. He had told himself that he was going to let it go, but since she wanted to talk all of a sudden, he decided to just put it out there to discuss.
“I said... I mean . . .” She looked down as she talked.
“Don’t lie to me! What did you tell him?”
“I told him I didn’t know what was up with us. And I don’t, Terrell. That’s the God’s honest truth.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I love you, Nicole. I tell you that all the time.” He rested against his car and put his hands in his pockets.
“And? You know how many times I’ve heard that? Look, I love you too.” She sighed and reached for his hand. He stared at her and frowned. He could not believe she was saying this.
“I can’t tell. It’s not even that deep, according to what you told your brother. And I don’t give a damn about anyone else or what they told you. I’m talking about how I feel about you. Damn, quiet as it’s kept, I do wanna marry you.”
Nicole closed her eyes then let out a small huff. “No you don’t, Terrell. I know you love me. I never questioned that. But you’re not ready to marry me. I don’t think you’re ready to marry anyone.”
“How can you tell me what I’m ready for? You know what? Forget it, Nicole. I don’t believe we’re even standing here having this conversation.”
“Terrell, how are you gonna marry me when you’re not even fully committed to me?”
“What? I am committed to you. You’re having my baby, Nicole. I want us to be a family. You don’t want that?” He was totally confused by her response. From the moment she told him she was pregnant, he thought she wanted to get married. Now, it seemed that marriage was the furthest thing from her mind. He didn’t want to question whether the baby was his.
“So, you think that because I’m carrying your child that automatically means I want to be your wife? Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. I’ll agree to be your wife when you show me you’re ready to be my husband.”
“What do you want from me, Nicole? I love you, I’m there for you, there’s nothing in this world I won’t do for you. I’ve told you that from the moment we got together. And now I find out that we aren’t that serious.” Terrell’s head was messed up and he was ready to leave. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He felt Nicole’s gentle touch on his cheek and he looked into her beautiful face.
“I love you, Terrell, and I have no doubt that you love me, too, in your own way. But you still go to the clubs every time the doors open, and let’s not talk about your phone blowing up. You stay out all night and then get mad when I don’t condone that behavior and tell you how immature you are. You even accuse me of trying to control you. Terrell, until you show me you love me, the thought of marrying me shouldn’t even enter your mind. True, I am carrying your child, so maybe instead of focusing on marriage you should start with fatherhood.”
“So what, you don’t
wanna have anything to do with me, Nicole?”
“Baby, no, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that when I get married, it’s gonna be forever, and right now, you are definitely not at the forever stage.” She smiled.
He looked at this woman who was saying the opposite of what he thought she would. She never ceased to amaze him. She was smart, talented, and beautiful. He loved her and was going to marry her. He placed his hand on her stomach, which held their child. He knew that changing his ways was inevitable; he just assumed it was going to be after he was at least engaged. He now realized that he wanted to change.
Spending the rest of his life with Nicole and making her happy was that important to him. She may think I’m not in love with her. I can show her better than I can tell her. He kissed her, again told her he loved her, and got into his car.
Terrell could see her waving in his rearview mirror, slowly disappearing as he drove off. He thought about everything she had told him as he drove home, realizing that she was more intelligent than he had even given her credit for. He began respecting her more and more as he reflected. There was no way he was letting her down. Little does she know, the forever stage is right around the corner.
49
The sound of a baby crying on television caused Toby to stir in his sleep. He began feeling around in the bed, searching for the remote to turn the volume down when he realized that the sounds weren’t coming from the TV, but the other side of the room. Roni got up and walked over to the port-a-crib where her goddaughter, Day, was whining. She picked up the baby and placed her in the bed between them. It had been seven days since Mr. John’s heart attack and Roni had kept Day for the weekend to relieve Geno and Kayla.
“Aw, baby Day, what’s wrong? You hungry?” Roni cooed.
Toby smiled at the beautiful little girl’s arms and legs flailing in the air. Roni told him she was going to get Day a bottle from the kitchen. He picked Day up and placed her on his chest, snuggling her close to him. She began to quiet down and her wails turned into a simple humming. He placed his thumbs into her tiny fingers.
“You’re just spoiled, that’s all, Miss Day. You’re not slick.” He picked up the remote and clicked on SportsCenter. He checked out the scores of the NBA playoffs, glad to see that Miami had won. It was only 6:00 in the morning and he wasn’t used to getting up this early. “You want anything while I’m down here?” Roni shouted.
“No, I’m good,” he answered. The loudness of his voice startled Day, who raised her head in annoyance. “Sorry, sweetie.”
He rubbed his hands across her back in a circular motion and her eyes began to close. Just as he thought she was asleep, a loud noise came from her bottom and a scent traveled to his nose. Oh, no she didn’t. He grimaced. That’s so disgusting. As if she knew what he was thinking, she raised her head once again, looked him in the face, and smiled as she grunted this time. He raised her off his chest and placed her back in the center of the bed.
“You smell terrible, pretty girl,” he told her. She continued to look at him, still passing gas and grunting. He grabbed a diaper, the wipes and some powder out of the diaper bag and placed them on the bed. He stood there looking at the items, realizing he had never changed a diaper in his life. From the smell of it, he wasn’t ready now, either.
“Okay, Day. I got your breakfast,” Roni announced as she returned to the bedroom.
“Breakfast is the last thing she needs, Ron. She’s already full enough!”
“What are you talking about?” She leaned over and picked up the baby. “Whoo whee! Girl, you stink!”
“I told you she don’t need nothing else to eat. Then again, she may be hungry because everything she ate is filling that diaper up. I was about to change her.” He stretched and lay back down on the bed.
“You were about to do what? You don’t know anything about changing a diaper and you know it.” She laughed.
“That’s what you think.” He watched her carefully unfasten Day’s pajamas and lift her legs out.
“Wait a minute. Get a towel and put her on, man!” He hopped off the bed, hurrying to the linen closet for a towel. He nearly tripped over the diaper bag in the process.
“Lord have mercy, Toby. It’s only poop. She ain’t bleeding to death!” Roni laughed. She snatched the towel from him and placed it under the baby’s bottom. As she opened the diaper, the stench increased and he tried not to gag.
“That is so disgusting,” he commented. He went and grabbed the air freshener from the bathroom and began spraying. “I’ma have to have this place fumigated.”
He was contemplating lighting some candles as well when Roni told him, “Here, boy. Take this to the outside trash can.”
He stared at the small white bundle she was holding out toward him. She can’t be serious. He looked over at her and realized that indeed she was and he had no choice but to take it. He grumbled as he took the foul package out the back door. Maybe I’m not ready for fatherhood after all, taking crappy diapers outside at six in the morning, bedroom stinking. When he returned to the bedroom and saw his beautiful fiancée sitting on the bed, rocking Day and humming as she fed her, his thoughts changed. It was a beautiful sight to see them there. Roni looked so natural, holding the bottle just right. He rarely saw her like this. So often she was dressed to the max, never a hair out of place, face made up perfectly, but here she sat, dressed in one of his old T-shirts and a pair of shorts, scarf tied on her head and face void of makeup. She had never looked so beautiful to him. His heart leapt. He walked over and kissed both her and the baby as he sat beside them.
“What was that for?” she asked suspiciously.
Toby put his arm around her and whispered, “I want a baby.”
“Yeah, right,” she snickered.
“I’m serious, Ron. I want us to have a baby.”
She lifted Day onto her shoulder and began patting her softly on the back. “Clearly you have lost your mind. You’d better stop spraying that air freshener because it’s messing with your brain cells.”
“No, it’s not. I don’t understand why my wanting us to have a baby is so crazy,” he replied.
“I’m not having a baby, Toby. I’m still in grad school, and—”
“I don’t mean right now, Roni. I’m talking about after we’re married.”
“I’m not having one then, either. I don’t want to have a baby.”
He was taken aback by her statement. He had just assumed that they would have a child someday. Roni was always babysitting or shopping for Day and he knew she loved it. He thought she was practicing for when she had her own baby, which he had also assumed would be some time soon after they were married. He didn’t know how to react. Luckily, Day picked that very moment to throw up on Roni’s shoulder, so he didn’t have to.
Roni quickly passed him the baby as she grabbed the nearby towel and began cleaning up. “Can you put her to sleep while I take a shower and get dressed?”
“Sure.” He sighed and watched in silence, still holding the baby, as Roni placed three outfits on the bed, deciding which one to wear. This was her usual morning ritual and he was used to it.
“Which one do you like, Toby?” she asked like always.
“All of ’em,” he said, reaching on the nightstand for Day’s pacifier.
“What’s wrong, Toby? I know you’re not tripping because I don’t want a baby, are you?” she turned and asked, noticing his change in attitude.
“I just thought we would have children.”
“Children?” She seemed appalled at the thought.
“Well, at least a child. I like kids, and I wanted at least one of my own.” He rocked Day as he talked. Her big brown eyes were looking into his. She looked just like her mother and aunt. Something about those Hopkins women, he thought.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m just not the maternal type. I have too many other things I want to do in life, and having a baby isn’t one of them.” She shrugged and walked into the bathroom.
<
br /> Toby’s gaze returned to Day, who was drifting off to sleep. He slowly laid her on the bed and pulled the blanket over her. He was tempted to walk into the bathroom and talk to Roni some more about having a child, but decided against it. It didn’t seem like the time to discuss it anyway. He lay back next to the baby and flipped through the channels, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
He woke to the feel of Roni’s lips on his. His eyes fluttered open and she grinned at him.
“Okay, sleepyhead, I’m gone to work. Kayla will be here to pick Day up around ten. You don’t have to worry about dressing her. There are two bottles in the fridge and one by the bed. Are you sure you can handle this?”
“Yes, Ron. You act like I haven’t watched her before.”
“Well, after your panic attack this morning when she pooped, I was beginning to wonder, Mr. I-want-a-baby.”
“Whatever,” was his only comment.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I have a conference out of town next week. I’m pulling out Wednesday and will be back Sunday night.”
“You’re going by yourself?” he asked as he began drifting back to sleep.
“Yep. All by my lonesome.” She looked at her watch and noticed the time. “I gotta get outta here. I love you. Call me if you or Day needs me.”
“How’s your dad?” Toby asked.
Kayla had arrived to pick up Day and was double-checking to make sure she hadn’t left anything. She looked tired and he almost asked if she wanted him to watch Day a little while longer while she got some rest.
“Better. He’s out of the coma and he’s alert. If he continues to improve, they’ll release him by the middle of next week.”
“That’s great. I’m glad to hear that,” he told her.
“I really appreciate you and Roni doing this for me,” Kayla said as she took Day from his arms. “You don’t realize how much of a help it’s been for me and Geno.”