I totally understood and I told him that I still found it fascinating that somebody would want to print a story about me – and why would they? I am just a dancer! Even to this day, it is a mystery. Joe understood my feelings exactly and the more we got to know each other, the more we realised how much we had in common. He came from a very poor family, our fathers were both musicians, and we were both driven from a very young age to be at the top of our game. It gave us a real connection.
In one of the weeks of rehearsals, Joe had to go on a trip and so I had a week off. I invited my friend Alex over from America to spend a week with me in Bath. It was the August Bank Holiday weekend and the show was due to start in a couple of weeks so it was nice to have a bit of a relax before rehearsals went crazy. But on the Sunday evening I got a text from Joe saying he was back in Wales and wanted to train. It was a little weird but Alex understood that I had to put work first so I said yes and headed back to Wales. But when I met him Joe was really distraught. He told me that he had split up from his girlfriend quite a few months ago but they were still in touch over text and she wanted to get back with him. When he had met up with her and told her he was taking part in the show, they had got papped and now according to him the papers were speculating that they were back together. Joe’s agent had released a statement saying they had split up but to be honest, I really didn’t see how this would be much of a problem for me. I didn’t really care about his private life or any of the details, all I wanted to do was to work and do my job.
Before the Strictly series is launched on TV, all the dancers and celebrities take part in a day of press interviews so that the media can get quotes about how our rehearsals are going and how we feel about our partners. So of course the press asked all about that, as expected, and then I got a lot of questions asking if I was single. So I replied, yes, I was, but I was happy with that as it gave me more time to focus on Joe. Then they asked Joe if he was single, and he said yes, too. And I could just see the journalists think they now had an angle and from that point onwards, every story had us dating. And because the media put us together, the harassment started again and then my mum called to say she had been visited by a guy who had told her that he worked for the Daily Mirror in the UK.
‘He was such a lovely guy, Kristina,’ she told me.
‘Of course he was, Mum, but I did say not to talk to them because they can be quite vicious.’
‘But he just said he wanted to write a lovely story about you because your birthday is coming up and they think you are doing such a good job on Strictly. And apparently all the Mirror readers adore you and want to know how I feel about you dating a world-famous boxer.’
‘What did you say, Mum?’ I asked.
‘I said you weren’t dating anyone. And he told me that we obviously didn’t have a very good mother-daughter relationship if I didn’t know that you were dating Joe. So then I told him to leave as I didn’t understand his English.’
My mum understands English perfectly. And she was absolutely right: we weren’t dating!
The first couple of weeks on the show didn’t exactly go brilliantly for Joe. He found the whole experience really uncomfortable – he didn’t like the sequins or the tight trousers or the glamour aspect of Strictly and he couldn’t overcome his shyness when it came to dancing live. It was such a shame as he was so good in training and picked up the routines really well but as soon as he got on the dance floor he just froze. It was like a rabbit in the headlights and I pleaded with him to just try and pretend it was just him and me, back in the training studio in Wales.
He explained to me that he was afraid and how ironic that was. When he boxed in front of 50,000 people in Madison Square Garden, for example, he never felt one jot of fear but he was scared to death to be on that dance floor and to dance with me! It was very sweet to see this huge boxing legend so vulnerable. And to make matters worse, he wasn’t getting good comments from the judges either – they kept saying how rigid and awkward he looked on the floor. I just felt really bad for him but I did explain to him several times that he needed to treat the show as a pantomime, that the judges all play a role and they, especially Craig, are more entertaining when they are nasty. I didn’t want him to get too upset by it.
The judging panel had its fair amount of press that year, too. Arlene Phillips had left by that point and Alesha Dixon was now on the show. We were all surprised that Arlene had gone but Alesha had such strong credentials, it wasn’t really a big deal for the professional dancers. Besides, not everyone on the judging panel had to have a ballroom dancing background. Of course Len Goodman did, but the others were from a performance background only.
Alesha, who had won the show a few years ago, had also trained at an arts school and was a singer and a performer and an amazing hip hop and jazz dancer. To us she had exactly the right credentials but the poor girl got a hideous time in the press and I remember the News of the World in particular ripped her to shreds one week, saying some very negative, horrible things about her. I texted her after reading the vile story to show some support: ‘I’m so sorry, I know what it is like being on the wrong end of the press but you are doing an amazing job and I hope you are OK. I am here if you ever want to talk,’ I wrote.
And she texted me back, thanking me and she told me that I was the only one to text her and that she really appreciated it. I really felt for her because all she did was agree to take on this amazing job – that she was more than qualified for – but the problem was that people were still upset about Arlene leaving. That wasn’t Alesha’s fault!
Meanwhile Joe and I both wanted to work hard and prove that he was capable of overcoming his fear of the dance floor so we moved our rehearsals to London. He had quite a few commitments in the city and I could stay at my flat so it worked for us both. And yes, as the rehearsals became more intense, we started to relax more and more with each other and it was pretty obvious that we had quite a strong chemistry. I was completely honest with him right from the start and I told him that there was no way I just wanted a fling – I wasn’t interested in that at all. If he thought I was the right girl for him, then this had to be more than an affair otherwise we should just remain friends and carry on with the job. He understood that and he told me he respected the fact that I had been honest with him. Apparently he had had women throwing themselves at him a lot during his life and he never had to fight to get attention from them so the fact that I could take him or leave him at that stage was, he said, quite refreshing.
I also told him that it wouldn’t do us any good if we started dating while we were still on the show, it just wouldn’t work. It didn’t stop how we felt about each other, though and on my birthday he bought me a massive bunch of red roses and we went out for the evening with a big group of friends; it was a wonderful night. We were definitely falling for one another and having spent a month together by that time and seen each other vulnerable, stressed and insecure, you do feel quite close to that person.
I think this is why there are so many relationships on the show. It might take you, in normal circumstances in life, a year to get to know someone, but when you are on the show you know that person inside and out within a month because you are with them practically 24/7. Very quickly you see the real person and to see this legend so vulnerable and so insecure, I started feeling very protective towards him. I didn’t want him to dwell on what the press was saying or what the judges would say to him and I tried to remind him that he had signed up for an entertainment show. And in the end it didn’t really matter as we got voted off the show in Week 5 anyway.
While it was quite sad to be leaving the show, he was single, I was single and we weren’t doing any harm to anyone so we decided to start dating properly. It felt like we could breathe a little bit and we could see each other but without the pressure of learning to dance. And then he told me he would love to take me to Rome for a short break so we went for three days as I had to get back to rehearsals for the group dances. When we got
back to the UK, we saw pictures of us together outside the Colosseum.
The press attention was becoming more intense and it didn’t help that his ex-girlfriend was selling stories left, right and centre accusing me of stealing her man. The press were quick to report that I was involved in a cat fight with his ex-girlfriend, even though I didn’t respond to any of the accusations or speak out publicly at all. I was accused of breaking up this relationship which was really upsetting to read as Joe’s agent, Paul Stretford, released an official statement saying that they had split up weeks before the series of Strictly started. The official statement read: ‘We can confirm that Joe and Jo-Emma split earlier in August. They remain supportive of each other.’ Once again the press were happy to spin a story to keep the gossip going.
By now it was the end of October and we were officially dating. I finally felt I had found someone who understood me because we had been brought up in such a similar way. It was a beautiful relationship and Joe was just the kindest person I had ever met. We fell in love with one another quite quickly and we didn’t care – we were two young people in love. But we were being followed by the paparazzi and they would chase us in teams so if Joe and I went separate ways, one lot would follow me and then Joe would have another lot following him, too. It was crazy!
That series on the show Brian Fortuna also started dating his dancing partner, Hollyoaks actress Ali Bastian, and then the paps started pursuing them, too. There were lots of stories about them in the press and it occurred to me that at no point was anyone interested in writing about the actual dancing on the show.
In November, I went for a medical check, which I tend to do every six months anyway. I felt I had a little pain in the right side of my abdominal area, which didn’t seem to be going. To be honest, as a dancer it isn’t unusual to have a little pain here, there and everywhere due to what you put your body through but you just carry on with things. Us dancers tend to live with the mantra that if you can still walk, you can still dance! We are all guilty of not listening to or taking care of our bodies but you tend to carry on with things so the pain, which was coming and going, I just put down to a muscular discomfort. The doctor told me she thought everything was OK but as she wanted to be sure she would send me for a scan. And the scan showed that I had a 4cm cyst on my right ovary. I was so devastated – I remember getting back to my flat, seeing Joe and crying and crying.
It was horrific. I just wanted to enjoy my relationship – we were planning our first Christmas together at his house in Wales – and now I had to plan when to have this operation to remove the cyst. I took part in the Strictly finals with Joe but straight after the show had finished filming we came home: my surgery was the very next day. It was quite a quick operation and thankfully they discovered that the cyst was benign but I will never forget how scared I was. I was so grateful Joe was around as he drove me back to Wales after the operation and he did everything he could to look after me. I was so thankful to have him in my life, this wonderful, caring and loving man.
Christmas was really special as I spent it with his family, who were very sweet to me. We had such a happy time with his two sisters and mum and dad. Joe really spoilt me, too. He gave me a commitment ring as he said he wanted to show that he was serious about me – he knew that I had been let down by men in the past and this was his way of showing he was serious about me and serious about our relationship.
I was so happy!
In January I had to do the Strictly tour and Joe came everywhere with me, which was wonderful. I really wanted him to meet my mum so when the tour finished I took him to meet her and she thought he was lovely. Mum was pleased that I had met someone who was making me so happy and that he was looking after me so well. And she was right – I was happy with Joe and I didn’t see that ever changing.
CHAPTER 19
A knock-out blow
Joe and I started living together in London once the 2010 Strictly Tour had finished. He wanted to base himself in the city a bit more as there were quite a few opportunities coming his way so we rented a flat in Notting Hill Gate. That way we could see each other during the week and then at weekends we’d go back to Wales.
Workwise, things were pretty hectic as after the Strictly tour in January and February I had my own tour with Brian Fortuna, ‘An Evening With Brian and Kristina’, around some of the smaller theatres in the UK. And then in April we started a tour called ‘Strictly Come Dancing – The Professionals Tour’. Five professional couples from the show toured the UK for eleven weeks – it was insane! Of course, I was happy to have the work but I wanted to spend a lot of time with Joe, too. The contracts for the tours had been signed over a year ago so I couldn’t get out of them and to be honest, when I had signed up for them it was nice to have that amount of work lined up. But of course it made it hard to make time for one another as I had all this work going on and he had his sons to see in Wales, too.
So why did he want to move to London with me at the beginning of the year? Well, towards the end of 2009, he had been getting a lot of interest from a group of ‘businessmen’ who had approached his dad first, saying they were interested in opening up a few clubs with Joe’s name as a selling point. They wondered whether he might be interested in any sort of ‘Club Calzaghe’ partnership and so he went to a few meetings with these guys to find out more. I thought it was a fantastic project and I was very excited for him but every time he had a meeting about the clubs he would come back and say the whole meeting was strange. Apparently they just asked him lots of questions and he wasn’t really getting any answers about this new club franchise. He had asked them about a contract but they didn’t give him one and again he would tell me he felt uneasy about it all but he wouldn’t elaborate.
Then the bombshell dropped. It was Easter weekend at the end of March and Joe got a phone call saying that all the meetings had been set up by the News of the World in a tabloid sting. He had been videoed saying he occasionally used cocaine and now the paper was going to run a big story about his drug use. It was a very sad time for Joe – he was extremely upset about letting his family and his sons down and he was mortified by it all. In my time with him there never was a problem with drugs that I ever saw and I told him that I was there for him, as were his whole family. We all stood by him and I tried to reassure him that it would blow over but it was still very upsetting. I loved that man, he was my family and it was ruthless for someone to set up such a hoax in the hopes of getting a story.
Joe had to release a statement saying how sorry he was about letting down all his fans and I know that the News of the World then tried to make him a big offer to sell his side of the story but he refused; he just wanted to be left alone. But then his ex-girlfriend sold a story about his cocaine habit at the beginning of April and it just seemed never-ending. I really felt bad for Joe and I didn’t want to leave him on his own at that time – he seemed so vulnerable.
In the four years we were together we did only two photoshoots, both with Hello! magazine. We were offered a lot more but I didn’t want to do them. By then I was very much classed as ‘Joe Calzaghe’s girlfriend’ in the press, and it always worried me that I was labelled as someone who was with someone else. In my mind we were equals.
Apart from the negative stories that surrounded Joe for the next few weeks, as a couple we were under media scrutiny, too. Because we were both working on different projects, there was a story in the press pretty much every month that we had split up. One month I had dumped him, the next month he had dumped me – it was just ridiculous. During The Professionals Tour, which ran from April until July, we were given a week off at the beginning of June and Joe and I decided to have a few days together in Spain. As I boarded the plane, I got a text from my agent saying that the papers were running a story that Joe had dumped me for another woman. And I thought, ‘OK, well, that is quite funny as we are actually boarding a plane together so I am pretty sure we are still together!’
The story was that he was out
clubbing with his mates and giving one particular girl lots of attention. When he came out of the club he agreed to have his picture taken with her (and he got that a lot, everyone wanted their picture with him). From that picture the press wrote a story that he had dumped me. In my mind, for once the press would look stupid as we were going on holiday together as a couple so there was no ‘dumping’, but of course they don’t like to admit their mistakes and so when we got to Spain there were lots of paps taking photos of our ‘reconciliation holiday’.
From that point onwards I did start thinking to myself, when is it going to end? I knew I had to stop being bothered by those stories as it was bringing me down and it did cause a few arguments between us – it wasn’t particularly pleasant reading that we had or we hadn’t split up. Anyway, after the holiday we flew back to the UK and I finished the last three weeks of The Professionals Tour. Our last night was in Bournemouth and Joe organised a big night out for the whole cast and crew to celebrate – it just showed how supportive he was of my work and my commitments.
After the tour I had a quick break before it was time to start the new series of Strictly and I found out I was being partnered with Goldie, the DJ. Now I don’t blame you for not remembering too much about us that series: we were knocked out the very first week! It was quite sad – I didn’t think Goldie deserved to be first out, he just needed a bit more time to develop – but I tried to look on the bright side. Us getting knocked out first meant that I did get a chance to spend more time with Joe. And my mum came over to the UK too, so we all had a nice time together. It was also the year Brian Fortuna left the show and I met my new professional dance partner, Robin Windsor. We just clicked straight away and I know he has said in the press that we became best friends very quickly and we did, we love and respect each other a lot. He did tell me though that he was scared of meeting Joe for the first time, too – but they got on fine!
Dancing Out of Darkness Page 16