by Sherry Wood
He shut his eyes. I bet you’re a good lover. That was what he wanted to say.
“When’s your birthday?” he asked.
“August 2nd.”
“Ah. Leo.”
“What are you, angel?” He loved how she said that, and he saw her sitting on his mother’s porch instead of Saphire, in those sunken recliners, looking at that huge tree that no storm seemed to be able to knock down.
“Cancer.”
“Oh,” she said. She knew a few things about cancers – they were sensitive. They were noble.
“We could just meet,” he said, trying to sound light. It was not that big of a deal. So what? They were friends. They liked talking to one another. “Hang out,” he said.
“Yeah, it doesn’t have to be anything crazy,” she went along with it.
“I need friends,” he said. “To get me through this, and my friends are there. My friends here? I haven’t spoken to in a while. If you came…that would be so nice.”
“I could come down there,” she romanced with the idea. “We could meet for a drink, we could just talk.”
“Yeah, go to my favorite pub.” He sounded like he was brightening up.
“It will get your mind off things maybe.”
“Yes.” The word jumped from his mouth. “Why don’t you come down in a couple
of days. What will you tell…”
“John,” she said.
“Right.” He knew that, but so many things had happened. He had a bit of a headache. He was extremely moody. He needed love. He remained on the bed, curled up in a ball, running his hand along the mattress, wishing it was her he was touching.
“I’ll say…I’m meeting with my editor, to go over some last details. I don’t even think John will care, to be honest, he’s all about his band.”
“Maybe you need time apart,” Brian said. And maybe I need time away from Saphire.
“Yes. Yes, I think so.”
Brian got quiet, weighed down by a heavy heart. “I’m going to go, but I will never forget tonight. Thank you for reading to me. Think about coming here.” She liked the way he said that – the way he talked. She really was going to do this. She felt her heart and her feet were way ahead of her brain! Maybe you should slow down and take a dip in the pool and think.
“I will. Sleep right sweetheart. Your mom…” Your mom what? Think of something to say! “Is watching you.”
Watching you about to have an affair?!
“Thanks,” Brian said. “Good night.”
CHAPTER 26
So the crush had developed into something else. She felt a tug in her heart and a longing all over her body for him. What did he smell like? At four in the morning – because sleep with this type of yearning was impossible – she found herself going through his drawers filled with clothes he left behind. She found a nice blue Abercrombie shirt. It was so preppy. John would never wear anything that didn’t have a band’s name on it. She held it up to her face and breathed him in. It didn’t smell completely clean, but maybe he’d worn it like once or twice. She took it and very quietly left the room and walked down the stairs. She could see the beautiful pool’s water reflected on the wall because of the light at the bottom. She could hear the waves crash. She loved this place. She felt at home here.
She went out to the pool. The smell of chlorine hugged her, and a warm mugginess slicked her body. She wished Brian was here. When she tried to picture him naked, she swore her heart nearly burst.
She took all of her clothes off and got into the pool. Man, this is heaven. To be able to go for a swim at any time, during any season even, since it was heated. To do laps and look out at the ocean. She could even see the TV from here because of the glass wall, and the TV was in the living room facing it.
After her swim, she got out and dried off and slipped Brian’s shirt on. She walked into the living room and picked a book at random from his bookshelf and opened it up. A note fell out with some sort of poem written on it. It was entitled, For Saphire/Caroline
My girlfriend is afraid of sharks but she loves living near the beach. She has a cute, shy smile that I always find myself waiting to expand. Then she gets this look in her eyes like she’s disappointed. I love holding her – and I know she likes to be held. But sometimes it feels like she’s not there. Sometimes I feel like I could be a cloud and be closer to her. I hope I’m spending my life loving the right woman. That’s what I think when I fall asleep. And I hope I’m doing it right.
Two Days Later
Brian looked handsome but very weary as he came home from the funeral. He had a full on beard now and his hair was growing out all shaggy. He went upstairs to the bedroom and started taking the suit off. It was extremely quiet here. He looked over and saw Saphire standing in the doorway.
“How are you?” she asked. He just shrugged.
“You?”
She tiptoed into the room. No matter what happened, no matter how frigid her shoulder got, he’d always find her to be the most beautiful thing, and he’d always remember the first day he saw her sitting up on that rock on Muscle Beach. Her little tanned body looked like a statue, and then the statue moved and looked at him. He hadn’t been the same since.
“I’m thinking about…staying at my uncle’s for a while,” she said, her voice softer than ever. “He’s old now…not so temperamental.”
He turned and looked at her. He looked so lost and confused. He was a mama’s boy. She reached out and played with his hair and laughed a little.
“You need a haircut,” she said, with love. He was despondent. “I want to hold you and comfort you but I feel like you want someone else to do that.” She stared at him with big, honest blue eyes after she said that. “I’m not stupid, Brian. I may look like your stereotypical blonde, but I’m not.”
“I know,” he made clear.
“I hear you on the phone,” she went on. “And yes I danced with a guy when I went out with Chelsea, this waiter we met named Jason. And these are just facts and we can’t blame each other for them…” she wiped a tear away. “Maybe we just need something else, that’s all.”
Brian leaned his head until it rested on her shoulder. If they were home in L.A., her shoulder would be warm and there would be a glass of wine near them and they could pretend everything was okay. Here, they’d been stripped bare. They had to face things. He put his arm around her and she drew near him like a child.
“It doesn’t have to be over,” she said. “Just feel like you need space, you know, to figure things out.”
“She left me her house,” Brian said.
“Your mom?” Saphire sounded happy for him. He nodded. “How do you feel about that?” she ran her hand up and down his leg.
“Oh,” he took it and wrapped it in his. “Lots of things.” He gave her a weary smile. “I feel lots of things, baby doll.”
She ran her hand through his hair and he gave her a protective glance. “You want to go to your uncle’s?”
“Yes, I do.”
“He can be such a jerk. If he’s mean to you I will kick his butt, I swear.”
“He’s old,” she grinned. “And…he feels bad about a lot of things, I can tell. The eyes are such evidence that way.”
“I feel like it would be the right thing. You come to me if you need me,” she said.
He didn’t know how to need her at this point. He leaned his head so it rested against hers and they spent a solid minute staring at the desk in the room where Vanessa worked. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t want Saphire leaving until he made love to her one more time – this way if she met a guy while they were “taking time off” she’d remember this. He started kissing her, and she couldn’t resist him. She laid back and he crawled on top of her. She ran her hand through his hair and not even his beard bothered her now.
CHAPTER 27
Saphire was the type who fell asleep as soon as she hit the bed. Brian’s head was full of thoughts. They jumped from his mom to his childhood to I
zzy. Then of course to Vanessa. He glanced down at Saphire, very protective. You can’t have it all, keep them both, he told himself. He was about to touch her shoulder when he heard something downstairs. Something obviously had fallen to the floor and shattered. It woke Saphire up.
“What was that?” she stared over at the balcony. “Someone’s downstairs!” she said.
“I’ll go,” he assured her. “Stay here – lock the door,” he told her as he threw a shirt on and cautiously walked out into the hallway. He wished he’d left a light on. He turned and looked at Saphire, frozen in bed.
“Lock it,” he told her before closing it. She got up and locked it and listened. He turned the bathroom light on and stood at the top of the stairs. He heard another footstep and then someone clearly curse.
“Shit!”
Brian needed something – a gun, even a bat. He had nothing but his voice. He leaned over the balcony and mustered up the toughest voice he could.
“Whoever you are, it would serve you best to leave,” he said. Saphire heard him and was amazed at Brian’s calm delivery.
“Nah, need to use the bathroom,” a lazy male voice called back. Then the kitchen light flicked on and Brian saw a goofy, pudgy guy with black hair just standing there. He was clearly not here to do harm, but that didn’t matter to Brian.
“Who the hell are you?”
“Morey Stratenburger, bassist of Meat Hook. Who you?” he was chewing on something. As Brian made his way down the stairs, he saw it was a twizzler.
“Get the hell out!” Brian said, in disbelief of Morey’s gall.
“Whoa! Take it easy, bro,” Morey said. “I’m a friend of John’s and…sometimes Vanessa’s.”
“This is not your house,” Brian said.
“Ain’t your house either, bro,” Morey reminded him. “I have a key from when I house-sitted once.” He bit into the twizzler again, chewing it with great gumption. He shook his head as he leaned against the fridge. “7/11 better never go out of business, so many things have changed in the world, I tell you that bro,” Morey babbled on, looking at the counter. Brian stood in the doorway, in disbelief. “Music man – are you kiddin'? Let’s just sign a toilet and listen to it flush. Hey man,” he looked up at Brian. “I could just crash on – holy macaroni and cheese!” he snapped his fingers and pointed at Brian. “You were that gay dude on that one soap opera! I recognize you, man.”
“Look, you need to leave, okay?” Brian said, absolutely exhausted.
“Negatory – locked myself out.” Morey looked up at him again with big, innocent brown eyes. “I miss my dude – I’m not saying it's your fault – it's Vanessa’s. Look out for those women, they’ll take you away from everything good and pure and lock you in a cage. I’m seeing him tomorrow – I’m freeing the lion. I just need a place to crash then it’s off to L.A. to get signed, and then it's screw the boss man and everyone else.” Brian watched, too tired to argue. Morey made his way over to the leather couch.
“You guys are messy,” Morey said in a singsong manner. “Vanessa won’t be happy, dude, runs a tight ship.” Morey splayed out on the couch, his hands locked behind his head. Then Brian realized something.
“Did you come around here the other night?”
“What night? I appreciate it, but I’m older than I look. I’ve spent a lot of nights here…there…”
“Two nights ago, my girlfriend said she heard something.”
“Oh, yeah, I started to, yup.”
Brian shook his head. “Okay…look, you can sleep here but I want you to leave in the morning, deal?”
“Hey man, no problem, I’ll be on a plane, I can’t complain.” Morey shut his eyes, already drifting off to sleep. Brian studied him for a few more grieving moments before returning to bed.
CHAPTER 28
“I want you to meet me at The Signature Room,” Brian spoke to Vanessa on the phone the next morning. He sounded so sexy. Vanessa practically purred. She was already in Chicago, in her hotel room. Brian was alone. Morey had left an hour ago, and Saphire was packing. It was a strange time, and all Brian wanted to do was think about the future. Vanessa. Their very first date.
“You know where that is?” he asked, because she hadn’t said anything.
“Yes.” She felt so weak, but in this amazing way, like she’d already been handed over to him. John would never step a toe into The Signature Room. He always complained that it was too uppity. What he really meant was that it was too expensive.
“Meet me there at nine.”
“I’ll be there at 8:45,” she practically cooed.
She stood on the white marble floor that night, gazing into the room. The tables were all covered with white tablecloths and flickered with their own candle. She’d seen pictures of The Signature Room in various magazines, but had never set foot into it until now. Everyone was dressed up because there was a dress code. It was a night of dazzle, no mistakes. She watched as a terribly handsome man in a white suit stand up and look across the room at her. Neither of them moved for a minute but their hearts did, leaping for joy. She almost laughed when he smiled. He had grown a beard and had his hair slicked back. She felt cold all of the sudden, like ice chips were sliding down her arms from her shoulders. She looked around and the room was spinning – she was going to faint!
She woke up to voices all over her, and a soft pretty carpet beneath her.
“Oh no…did I pass out?” She looked up at him. He had his arms around her. She was so turned on by the sight of him. This seemed like a dream, a weird sparkly dream.
“Are you okay?” Brian asked.
“Yeah.” He let her go after a minute and she looked around the lobby of the fancy restaurant.
“Oh man…I totally passed out in front of everyone…” she said, running her hand over her face and looking up at him with one eye exposed.
He just snickered. “Is it the beard?” he ran his hand over it. “It's kind of a change.”
“No, I like it.” She reached out for it, wanting to touch it. “Wow, it's…like…burlap.”
A very nice song that Brian liked came on. Vanessa liked it too. It was a sweet love song. He held his hand out.
“Let’s try this again,” he said. His voice was so pleasant. She smiled and slipped her hand in his. “This time I’ll walk you over to the table, so if you collapse, I’ll be right here.”
“Okay,” she laughed, a little nervous.
“I have a table reserved all night, so…no need to rush.” He continued to smile. She couldn’t stop looking at him. The beard added a wayward touch to his insanely handsome face.
“You are so sexy,” she said. He kissed her hand and turned around, leading her back up the steps to their table.
CHAPTER 29
“I’m so embarrassed,” she said, once they were sitting down. “Who saw me pass out?”
“Everyone around us,” he said, laughing a little. “Don’t worry about it – added a little excitement to their lives. No big deal.” For the next minute, they just gazed at one another until the waiter came over with a bottle of champagne. She took a sip as she continued to gaze at him. She looked around the restaurant.
“There’s a place to dance?” she asked, thinking she’d spotted the dance floor.
“Yes, right through those doors,” Brian pointed over to where she was looking.
“I wanna dance,” she said.
“Okay. But you won’t pass out…?”
“Ha ha.” She stood up. “Let’s go, before this song is over…”
He followed her over to the dance floor and he put his arms around her. He was a lot taller than she imagined. He smelled nice. She looked up at him and ran her hand down his beard.
“Brian,” she said, just to say his name.
“Hey, guess what?” he said.
“What?”
“I found that movie,” he said. “That horror movie, Liquid Floor.”
“No way!”
“Yup.” He glanced down at her a
nd didn’t waste another minute. He kissed her. It was dynamite, the quick way he wrapped his arms around her and just took her and gave her the best kiss of her life. She melted against him and they continued to kiss.
“Is the beard too scratchy?” he asked, right in her ear.
“No.” She placed her hands on him, one on his chest and the other on his stomach. “God…”
“Are you going to faint?” he asked, in an honest panic.
“I hope not, I want to be awake for every minute of this…” she looked up and he kissed her again. He was a great kisser – slow but firm.
“Where to after this?” he asked when the kiss ended. “I’m not done showing you off yet.”
“Oh yeah?” Her whole body was on fire and she was way too excited to form complete sentences.
“Where do you want to take me?” she managed to ask, looking up into his eyes.
“Well…” he took his time answering. That sexy voice, just trailing around her world. “First, I’m going to spin you around like this,” he lifted their hands above his head and she twirled around in a beautiful circle and ended up in his arms again. “Then I’m going to dip you like this,” he dipped her and everyone stopped dancing to watch them, because they were such an attractive couple.
“And we’ll finish this dance because you like the song and then we’ll go for a walk along the lake and end up at a pub, because I still want to do that. Then…I’d say my place or yours, but at this point that doesn’t matter.”
She laughed out loud. He adored her strange little laugh.
CHAPTER 30
“Is this going to scare me?” Vanessa asked him hours later, as they curled up on her black leather sofa. The innocent look on Brian’s face was adorable but she wasn’t buying it. “I may have to…” she pulled on his comfy grey sweatshirt. “Bury my face in your chest for protection or…” she ran her nose against his neck. He was so warm, like the sand on those California beaches. He tossed the remote control down and laid down on the couch so she was on top of him. They kissed heavily for the next few minutes. She laughed and ran her hand along the leather couch.