by Susan Laine
Kieran’s face heated with a mix of anger, frustration, and shame, and his hands stilled on the cowboy werewolf’s foot. “If that’s what you think, why did you come with me?”
Blankly, Gabriel looked away and shrugged. “What else could I have done? Stay there? Not really a viable option, that.”
Even though his gut was burning with the bile of guilt and rage, Kieran stared down stubbornly and resumed the foot rub. “Of course we know of them, the Shadow Chasers. We know what they’re about and what they’re like. Yeah, we have things in common with them. We too have separate mercenary units, like they have loose, individual cells with the only common thread being their ideology. We too take up arms and go up against monsters on a weekly basis. But unlike them, like you said, we don’t do it because we think you’re all evil. You’re a paycheck, that’s all.” Kieran looked at Gabriel, whose face was still blank. “Does that, in your opinion, make me better or worse than them?”
“Honestly?” Gabriel’s sharp, questioning gaze pierced right through Kieran’s defenses into his heart and soul. “I don’t know.”
Kieran was up on his feet in less time than it took for his heart to beat—and break. “Is this how it’s going to be with us? You judging me? Me disappointing you with every breath I take? Me never being good enough for— Never quite measuring up?” His fingers dug deep into his palms and he bit his lips to keep from saying anything more; he knew there’d be blood in his mouth and on his hands. “You know what?” The angry, belligerent, cruel curse words knotted in his throat. He let out a quick breath, shook his head frantically, and waved a hand through the air. “I’m going to check the perimeter. You do whatever the hell you like—just stay down here.”
Barely keeping the panic out of his almost-running steps, Kieran headed for the stairs and for the quiet of the air outside, knowing it wouldn’t be enough to calm him down anymore.
Chapter Four
GABE watched Kieran rush to the ladder-like metal stairs and climb out so fast his movements were almost a blur. Sighing, he lifted his feet onto the cot and dried off the excess lotion, the whiff of eucalyptus strong and unmistakable, and pondered his next move. He knew full well he had hurt Kieran’s feelings, but he had to be honest. Kieran’s motives were still too much in the dark, just like his personality, his past, his whole life.
Now that the hatch was open, warm, humid air breezed in, and Gabe realized then that the air underground had been dry and cool. He missed it now that it was gone. He missed mountain air, the scent of grass out on the range, the evenings that lasted long and always held a touch of cold everywhere.
After putting on the red T-shirt and worn boots Kieran had given him, Gabe made his way outside. The sun hung too low and the view was too blocked by the trees for him to see the horizon, but despite it being early evening, the air was still heated. Shadows grew and a sanguine full moon rose up leisurely in the sky. There was a mild puff of wind from the river, where dark blue waters ran lazily, like a piece of night on earth. Herons, egrets, and cicadas were noisy as the day ground to a close; a snake slithered away from him down the riverbank to the grass by the water; and a coyote slipped into the bushes on the other side of the river. Smells of nature filled Gabe’s senses, and he inhaled deeply while standing in place. It wasn’t home, but in a way, nature would always be his home.
Yes, Gabe did hear Kieran moving about, checking the perimeter. At times there was a small hum of an electrical device being turned on, so Gabe assumed the guy was putting up alarms, sensors, or cameras. The man was a professional; he had to give him that at least.
But could Gabe give Kieran anything more? That was the question of the hour.
The sun went down slowly but surely and darkness enveloped the land. The air cooled, and the sounds and scents came through louder and stronger now. Gabe leaned against the cypress between the riverbank and the hut, relaxing as night and nature nurtured his troubled mind. The bark was splintered and sharp even through the layer of fabric, but it reminded him that even roses had their thorns for a reason.
Unaware of the exact amount of time that had passed, Gabe started when he was brought out of his mindless reverie by a furious voice calling out to him. “I told you to stay down below. Did you not fucking hear me?” Kieran’s face was contorted with rage, his fists clenched and his posture rigid as he stood there staring him down.
Gabe breathed in and out, but he had never felt less calm—and less like himself. “I did hear you. But I heard no one else here, and I needed to take a breath, so I—”
“A breath? Are you fucking kidding?” Kieran stepped closer, and the fury within him was palpable, about to explode. “The whole world is out to get you, and you decide to take a little stroll in the fucking moonlight? Are you fucking insane?”
Cussing aside, Kieran’s passion for Gabe’s safety came through crystal clear, and he felt ashamed at not having thought it through—which he almost always did. Except now, as his very angry mate stood before him, riled and geared up for a fight, Gabe felt completely off-kilter. He was unbalanced and struck silent.
Before Gabe could say a word, Kieran was on a roll. “Those things you said to that Adler woman. How it feels. The mating stuff. Is that how you feel too? Or is it just me?”
Gabe swallowed and coughed to clear his throat and gain some voice. “No. I feel it too.”
Kieran’s eyes flashed and narrowed. “More or less than me?”
He hated admitting it, but…. “More.”
That surprised Kieran, if his widening eyes and parting lips were any indication. Then he frowned, working himself up to his anger again. “Do you have any idea how frustrating this is? Not just you taking these stupid chances with your life when I specifically told you to stay hidden. No, I mean this… this… this feeling inside of me.” Kieran gave a frustrated chuckle, his grin twisted, his expression contorted like he was talking about a disease. “My body wants things it has never wanted before. I have… cravings. I want to do things with you and to you, and have you do things to me. I want to fall on all fours in front of you. I want you to stuff me full with your dick. I want you to bite me till I bleed.” Truly, he seemed confused at saying the words. “But, in my head, with the scraps of intellect this fucking bonding shit has left me to cope with, I know how incredibly insane that is!” Kieran tapped his own temple furiously, like he was trying to knock some sense into himself, and then the gesture shifted to the “crazy” twirl. “My mind knows my body is wrong, and now they’re fighting, and I’m fighting. And I’m fighting you, and you just stand there like this fucking statue of serenity and shit!”
Focusing on breathing calmly, Gabe tried to rein in the man’s wayward wash of words by raising his hands in a surrendering gesture and speaking low and slow. “Kieran….”
Kieran stepped back, shook his head furiously, and then stepped forward. With a challenging stance, he jabbed a finger at Gabe’s chest. “Don’t you fucking ‘Kieran’ me! You have no idea what this is doing to me, and you don’t even seem to care—”
“I care, Kieran,” Gabe cut in, almost whispering, urging the man to lower his voice, too, and cool down. “I do care. You are my—”
“No!” Kieran shouted, practically foaming at the mouth, his face red, his eyes feral, and his fists clenching and shaking. “This isn’t real. None of this is real. What I feel isn’t real. It’s just chemicals. Just your fucking pheromones. Nothing more. This isn’t real.” He kept shaking his head, as if trying to convince himself of the truth of his words, and Gabe winced. Kieran wasn’t really seeing Gabe anymore in his self-induced rage, and he continued mumbling fragmented, incoherent sentences.
“When your body and mind tell you different, opposing things,” Gabe said quietly, not wanting to goad the man further, “you trust your instincts. You listen to your heart.”
That snapped Kieran out of his inner ranting and ominous stupor. And then his temper clearly got the better of him, as he looked about ready to slug Gabe. �
�You….” His voice trailed off, and he was shaking.
With a flat palm, he pushed Gabe on the chest, forcing him to take a small step back, the tree scratching a cut on his skin as his bare arm brushed briefly against it. He had known Kieran was strong, and now his rage had magnified that power within him.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Gabe’s tone dropped to husky, his statement a clear warning, but Kieran didn’t heed it.
Kieran’s wide eyes were filled with conflicting emotions, and he was out of control. “Don’t tell me what to do, you fucking asshole! Don’t tell me what to say, how to feel, how to be. I am not your fucking puppy! I won’t sit and roll over just because you ask for it or expect me to—”
“You have absolutely no idea what my expectations of you, of me, or for this thing between us are.” Gabe gnarled his words, starting to lose his footing on the formerly solid ground of serenity he usually knew like the back of his hand.
That just pissed Kieran off more, and he pushed Gabe in the chest again, hard. “What you gonna do about it, bitch!”
Gabe’s reactions were instinctive—even though he hadn’t lost control of himself since WWII, and even then it had lasted for all of two minutes.
In a flash, his eyes had morphed into wolf eyes, the brown sliding into gold brightness, his fangs dropped through his gums, stinging on their way out, and his hackles rose until his whole head of hair looked like the mane of a wolf. The growling came through loud and clear, and as if by a snap of God’s fingers, nature around them fell silent in reverence and submission, and Gabe’s low bark and Kieran’s startled, heavy breathing were the only sounds left.
“Don’t. Ever. Shove. Me. Again.”
For a brief moment it looked to Gabe like Kieran had regained his senses. But then he bared his teeth, like a challenging wolf, let out a fierce shout, and jumped Gabe with his whole body weight behind the attack, his feet leaving the ground as he climbed the bigger man like a crushing vine. Briefly, the smell of his mate’s fresh sweat, mingling with his male musk from his exertion, overwhelmed Gabe’s senses.
But even amid their different kinds of haze, Kieran was no match for Gabe.
As effortlessly as throwing around a gangly bag of potatoes, Gabe tossed Kieran over his shoulder, and the man landed heavily on the ground on his back, air swooshing out of his lungs. Grunting, he somersaulted backward in a swift motion, up on his feet in less than two seconds. Next thing Gabe knew Kieran charged toward him again, with murder in his eyes.
Everything’s going wrong.
A series of attacks followed, and Gabe stopped every one of Kieran’s advances with an equal countermove of his own, not wanting to harm his mate, who didn’t know what he was doing. He would regret it tomorrow when the bruises came out—if he lived that long—and at the moment Gabe wasn’t sure if he had the self-restraint not to harm Kieran. None of Kieran’s blows hit Gabe dead on, but they did brush his skin no matter how much distance he tried to keep between them.
“Kieran, stop this before you get hurt.”
Gabe’s muffled plea, due to his fangs, just seemed to infuriate Kieran further, like pouring gasoline on a bonfire. Kieran doubled his efforts to get to Gabe, whose wolf within was beginning to get seriously ticked off. Yet Gabe knew he could never seriously injure his mate—even if the guy was being an ass.
“You stop trying to placate me, control me, drive me mad—”
Kieran was making no sense, or perhaps he was to himself, but Gabe had had enough.
Using his superior mass and height to his advantage, when Kieran lunged at him again, Gabe simply swooped the guy up in his arms, threw him on the soft earth, launched himself at him, and pinned him to the ground with his whole body. Kieran was immobile, but he tried his best to free himself from captivity, to no avail.
Gabe said and did nothing, just waited for the man to exhaust all his steaming rage. And soon enough Kieran merely lay there, panting, his body tense but unable to move as Gabe held his arms above his head with his own hands and straddled his mate’s hips.
“Get off me,” Kieran grunted vehemently, still fighting for breath.
“As soon as you calm down.” Gabe held Kieran’s blue-gray gaze locked with his own stare, finding his center of calm within and cooling off in an instant.
His eyes flashing as they narrowed, Kieran observed Gabe’s controlled demeanor and exhaled a long sigh. “I’m totally cool. Now get the fuck off me.”
Since Kieran’s voice had leveled, his breathing slowed, and his body relaxed enough, Gabe felt it might be safe to let the man get up, move off, and think about the craziness he had just exhibited. Letting out a sigh of his own, he loosened his hold on Kieran.
Suddenly, Kieran’s legs came up from behind Gabe and surrounded his upper body. Kieran locked his ankles to pin Gabe between his legs and then yanked Gabe back with the force of his thigh muscles. As soon as Gabe could no longer keep a grip on his mate, the tables turned as Kieran displayed his strength yet again by rolling them around so that Gabe’s back was against the ground and Kieran was positioned above him. Gabe concluded that the only reason the move worked was because the guy was his mate, and as such, he was letting Kieran get the upper hand.
This was getting out of control in the worst way, and Gabe knew he did not want this, so he let his body unwind and rest at ease. If Kieran really wanted to hurt him, he could at any time, so the sooner the better.
Hovering above him with a mystified expression, Kieran watched Gabe settling down, not resuming the struggle. His hands were pressed against Gabe’s shoulders, bearing him down, but at least he wasn’t hitting him, for which Gabe was glad and relieved.
“You got me, Kieran. Now what?”
BUT Kieran had no answers to offer the man beneath him, who made no move against him even though he had tried his best to assail and damage the cool exterior of Gabriel King. Well, Kieran was going to find out if the man really was a block of ice regardless of his wolfish actions a moment ago, because that could have been nothing more than a temporary lapse in judgment, unlikely to be repeated. Unless Kieran did something drastic.
So he did what he had never in his life imagined he could or would do.
Dipping his head so fast the move left him dizzy, Kieran kissed Gabriel on the lips, hard at first, but softer when the cowboy didn’t push him off. He let go of Gabriel’s shoulders, cupped the man’s face with his hands, angled his head to the side to part both their lips, and then, deepening the kiss, slid his tongue inside the mouth of the first and only man he had ever kissed.
Instantly, it became obvious to Kieran he was kissing another man. The rough stubble of the man’s jaw and around his soft, wet lips scratched and tickled his skin, burning him with new sensations. The taste of the cowboy was rich and masculine, and he couldn’t get enough. His hands slid down Gabriel’s neck, past his collarbones and his prominent, muscular chest until he reached the hem of the man’s T-shirt. Yanking it up in a heated frenzy, he let his fingers skim the hot, velvety skin underneath as he learned his way around a man’s body.
When he found the waistband of Gabriel’s pants, Gabriel’s hands landed on top of his and stopped him. Their lips parted for a distance of less than an inch, and the cowboy breathed his words out hard. “Kieran.” The hesitation there undid all of Kieran’s own doubts. Even after he had assaulted the man, Gabriel was still trying to protect him. After all, Kieran had emphatically told him he was not gay, so he wasn’t letting Kieran close to the point of no return.
But if the skirmish he had just had with Gabriel had proved anything, it was that Kieran was fighting a losing war. Gabriel had been right. The mating bond was too strong to overcome—even if it meant Kieran lost some of the control of his life. Or did he…?
He pushed Gabriel’s hands aside roughly. “No, let me.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me,” Gabriel said warmly, with a hint of a smile gracing his luscious lips that Kieran wanted to kiss again, for five m
inutes, an hour, the whole night, for an eternity. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, and the timing—”
“Is way off, I know,” Kieran finished the sentence for him. “But I want to taste you. All over. I know your mouth now—” He flicked his fingertips across the kiss-swollen lips, hungry for more. “—but it’s not enough. Want your skin, your cock, your cum. Just… more.”
Gabriel’s face was riddled with reservations, with encouragement and approval mixed with bewilderment, reproach, and even rejection. But ignoring the waves of uncertainty emanating from both of them, Kieran forged onward—or, to be precise, downward. Shifting above Gabriel, Kieran moved down the man’s body, and stopped when he reached the ridged stomach revealed by the pushed-up T-shirt hem. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips against the smooth skin, feeling the muscles rippling underneath as he inhaled the man’s scent and licked around his navel in lazy circles. Gabriel groaned huskily, and Kieran’s cock twitched, pressing hard against his fly.
“Fuck,” he muttered, unable to prevent the word from coming out with his exhale.
Kieran stuck his tongue into the hollow of Gabriel’s navel, and the hunger within him grew. Gliding down the treasure trail in an unbroken lick line until he reached a dark-blond nest of curly pubes, Kieran had never felt such sensual ecstasy before. He was out of control—and he liked it. The smell of man was more pungent here, Kieran became aware, and he rubbed his face into the curls until he felt something smolderingly hot and deliciously wet touch his skin.
There it was—a man’s cock, all hot, hard, and dripping precum. Kieran swallowed.
Pulling back, he couldn’t stop staring. Gabriel was, for the lack of a better word, huge. No, he was fucking humongous. Kieran swallowed again. The cock before him was uncut, thick and long, brown, and yet the mushroom-shaped head was getting more exposed and turning redder as blood filled it with every heartbeat. Though it must have been Gabriel’s heartbeats, since Kieran wasn’t sure if his heart was beating at all. He was relatively sure he wasn’t breathing either.