He looked down into my eyes and something teased the edges of my mind fleetingly, but then drifted away.
“My beautiful Jasmine; ya lyublyu tebya.”
“What...what does it mean?” My voice was barely above a whisper and I could hardly breathe, as I tried to get him to cover me, to put out this heat between my thighs.
He just smiled and traced his finger from my nipple to the pulse that beat out of control in my throat.
Then, finally, he covered my body with his. My hips cradled his as his hard warmth pressed into the junction of my thighs.
“Oh, Thorn...” I couldn’t help the movement of my hips as I ground myself into what had to be a very big, and very hard penis.
“It’s okay love.” How did he know? I had just begun to feel fear at the strange feelings that were unfurling rapidly in my tummy and especially between my heated thighs.
He ground himself into me harder and I saw stars as my body sought to keep up with his. I knew what we were doing was a pantomime of the sex act, but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
He rubbed himself back and forth along that most sensitive place between my thighs as his hands caressed my breasts almost aggressively.
It was too much, and when he held my head back, and sucked the flesh of my neck between his teeth, I lost consciousness.
Sunday morning I woke to the ringing phone, after a restless night of tossing and turning from disturbing dreams.
Dreams in which, the deep green of a jaguar’s eyes followed me on a dark deserted road that seemed to have no end.
I felt him and searched the room with sleepy eyes, already knowing he wouldn’t be there. With a heavy heart and a permeating sadness, I answered the phone.
“Hello.”
“Hello Jazz how are you?”
“Mom?” I couldn’t hide the excitement in my voice. No matter how much she ticked me off no end, or how her immaturity, and less than wise decision-making had messed up my young life, I loved my mom.
When she was being a mom, which in all honesty was rare and almost nonexistent, she was the neatest person in the world.
“What’s doing baby, you settling in, making new friends okay?”
“Yes mom stop worrying, everything’s fine.”
“It’s a mother’s prerogative to worry honey, now tell me what’s been going on?”
I told her about settling in and having yet to go around the town on an exploration as yet, to which she made me swear an oath that I wouldn’t go anywhere out of the way on my own.
I got quiet during her little meltdown and the stillness from my end stopped her in her tracks.
I could feel her trying to pull it together and I felt bad for her; that this was all she knew.
I wish someone would tell me what had happened to my mom to make her this way, but there was no one to ask.
I had no real family to speak of, and dad was as apt to tell me what I needed to know as she was, which was not at all. That’s if he even knew, sometimes I got the feeling that he was as in the dark as I was.
“I’m so sorry Jazz.”
“Mom...”
“No Jazz let me just say this okay; I never stopped to think, not once what this lifestyle was doing to you.
I just always thought you enjoyed it you know, the new places, and new experiences, kinda like a fantasy world.
I mean how many kids can boast that they’ve lived in almost all of the Continental United states huh?”
She laughed it off but I could hear the regret in her voice; regret and something else, what that was I couldn’t say.
“It’s okay mommy, I learned a lot ya know, I just needed to stop for a while, put all that knowledge to good use.”
“You always were the smartest, the brightest the most beautiful child ever.”
“Yeah right mom.” She could still make me laugh.
“So tell me, any new friends maybe a boyfriend?”
I blushed at her words as his face flashed into my head.
“Wellll, I did meet someone.”
“Ooh, do tell, is he handsome, I bet he is. What is he like? Is he one of those smart book types? Somehow I always pictured you with that type.”
Hah, if only. “Mom slow down, I don’t know any of those things.” Come to think of it I didn’t, and wasn’t that strange? I didn’t even know what classes he took, nothing.
I got that lonely feeling again and soon pushed it aside so I could concentrate. If mom senses one hint of sadness in my voice she’d start her campaign to get me to come back again.
“What’s wrong baby, this boy not returning your affections, you need me to come out there and kick him in the shins?”
I giggle snorted at the picture that formed in my head.
“Thanks mom you’re the best, but no.” Then I told her a little bit about my meeting with him. Of course I left out the strangest of the occurrences, no sense in both of us being spooked.
I didn’t tell her his name either for some strange reason, though I convinced myself that it was easier that way, just in case nothing ever came of us.
I did tell her that I felt out of my depth though, and hadn’t the slightest clue how to hold the attention of a boy like him.
Her sage advice was to wear lipstick and a short skirt, typical Anna. Then the conversation took a turn for the weird.
“Um nothing else has happened right, like no one’s been giving you a hard time or anything?” I could imagine her biting into her fingers the way I used to. Her voice had changed from the upbeat tone of a few minutes ago to one of worry.
“Who would bother me mom? Stop worrying I’m almost eighteen remember? I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can baby I just...never mind about that now, I’m sure your father won’t let anything happen to you. You’re staying close right?”
What a strange question, but then again that was mom for you. She could be perfectly fine one moment and then the next, it was as if she were hearing and seeing things that weren’t there, things that usually sent us running in the middle of the night.
I felt a pang of regret for a second at leaving her behind. Would she really be okay on her own, or had I been selfish to desert her?
I was beginning to worry, but like always she changed her tune again and was back to being light and fun.
She wanted to know every single thing from the minute I landed until now. I listened closely to her voice. Growing up it was the only way to gauge her true emotions, to know what was really going on in her head.
***
We stayed on the phone for a little while longer, before I had to go do the week’s laundry. Dad had insisted that I didn’t need to do this stuff, but it was no big deal for me to take care of it. Besides he had the cleaning lady doing everything else.
It kept me busy and took my mind off my worries. Of course I thought of ‘him’ all that day and into the night as well.
Would he be there tomorrow? My stupid heart raced at the thought of seeing him again in the flesh. My dreams were pretty much taken care of, because I’ve been meeting him there, more and more since coming here.
I wish he could be more like his dream self in real life. In my dreams he’s always there, like a protector and shield, keeping everyone and everything away.
In my dreams, though there’s a sense of dread, I always know he’ll keep me safe. In my dreams, that sense of knowing is stronger too, and I feel closer to him there, than I do with most people in the flesh.
I still wonder at the anomaly of meeting him in the flesh after seeing his face so often in my sleep.
There was nothing to explain the strange phenomena, except that maybe it was some kind of premonition, but of what?
I knew I wouldn’t get any answers unless he told me and somehow I was sure that he had all the answers.
The dream of the night before came crashing back to memory and I had to hold onto the wall as I almost fell to my knees.
How had I forgotten
that? I felt my body heat up with the memory of his lips on my flesh, and ran to the mirror in the bathroom.
I pulled back the top of my nightshirt, my breath held in anticipation.
Sure enough there was a mark between my breasts. But how could a dream do that? Then I felt liquid heat gush into my panties at the memory of his hands and fingers on me, in me.
When I caught my breath again, I went back to my inspection of my body.
I could barely make out the mark on the side of my neck from this angle, but I knew it was there and so did my body.
I touched it with the tip of a finger and felt that strange wind against my nape, right before my knees went weak and my body betrayed me, with a sudden quivering between my thighs.
My body twitched and I held onto the sink for support with one hand, while the other went to my crotch. I think I lost consciousness, because I awakened on the floor of the bathroom, drenched in sweat.
What was happening to me? Was I losing my mind? Was I like Anna? I felt traitorous at the thought, but I had long suspected that mom was a little not quite there.
There were times in the past when she’d acted or said things that didn’t quite make any sense. Like when she’d wake up in the middle of the night screaming about the monster that was going to get me.
Always after one of those dreams we’d move, and she’d keep me locked away in a motel room somewhere with the blinds drawn and the lights off.
Those were the times when my dreams were their most comforting. As if he always knew when I needed him most.
Something about that tickled at the edges of my mind, but whatever it was eluded me. I got up off the floor and closed my nightshirt after one last look as his passion.
I washed my face off to cool myself down, and went back to what I had been doing, my mind now in turmoil.
I had so many questions, but nowhere to seek the answers. I’d stopped telling mom about my dreams years ago since they seemed to freak her out so much.
And there was no way I could bring them up to Thorn; he’d probably think I was more of a freak than I already am.
But there was definitely something going on. How else could I explain the marks on my body, or the lingering feelings whenever I touched one of them?
The more I prodded the surer I became that there was some sort of connection between us, had to be, but what? I had no knowledge of him outside of my dreams, until now.
A quick Google search on dad’s old computer didn’t turn up much. I couldn’t find anything that explained me seeing my dream walk in the flesh. The closest thing was Déjà vu and I was sure that wasn’t it.
Whatever was going on between me, and Thorn Azarov was real. It wasn’t a figment of my imagination I didn’t conjure him out of thin air. He was real.
I felt him so strong now, like he was all around me, in me. I wanted to reach out and touch him.
“I want to see you, why won’t you come to me instead of playing in the wind?” Were those my words? Wow, that was so not like me; I sounded almost, commanding.
I felt breath against my nape and a hand on my nipple. “Ohhh.” My body started to move, pushing against the hand, trying to get more of that feeling.
I’m not sure, but I think he was avoiding touching my skin. Suddenly I noticed that everything we did was above our clothes and he still had yet to kiss me.
I tried that now and he was gone, just gone. I flopped around for the rest of the day, until it was time for bed. There was no sign of him all that day, just the overwhelming sense of his presence, so I went to bed feeling needy and lonely.
Chapter 8
“Jazz you’re gonna be late for your first class if you don’t get a move on.” Dad yelled up the stairs early the next morning.
I had dragged myself out of bed after another night of hot sticky dreams.
Where my lover brought me to a fever pitch, before kissing my forehead and holding me close until I fell off into slumber.
“Coming dad.” I took one last look in the mirror and shrugged my shoulders before heading out of my room.
I didn’t do my usual bounce down the stairs this morning, as I wasn’t sure how I would be received.
I’d taken Anna’s advice to a point and put on some lipstick, which I had to admit made a difference.
My face looked somehow lighter, the dark red lips with the pale face, how very clichéd, but it looked pretty.
It was the short denim skirt I wasn’t too sure about though, and the way dad’s eyes widened in surprise only compounded my doubt.
“What, no good?” I looked down at myself in the short denim skirt that fell a few inches above my knees; I’d paired it with a pink twin set with flowers around the border, and my black ballet flats.
“It’s fine, it’s just so...un-you.”
“I don’t think that’s a word dad.” I headed for the door before I changed my mind and went back upstairs to change.
“Aren’t you going to have breakfast?”
“Not today dad, I’ll just have some fruit later, but I really need to go. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
“Stop that, you don’t have to make me breakfast everyday, I can manage. I never got to talk to you though since Friday really.”
He was right, after going fishing, he’d gone straight to work from Barney’s the next morning. I had been in bed when he finally came in last night.
“It was fine dad, nothing happened and as you can see, I’m in one piece.”
“Alright, I was just thinking that maybe it was too soon to leave you alone no matter how much you protested. Your mother would have a calf if she knew.”
Funnily enough I hadn’t told her that I was alone when we talked yesterday; an oversight, or precaution?
“Well we spoke yesterday and she was none the wiser dad so no worries, now I have to go as you said, I’m gonna be late.”
It’s a good thing he didn’t ask me why I was so late getting up, when I’d gone to bed so early.
“Okay, you have a nice day Jazz.”
He yelled after me just as the door was closing.
“Thanks you too dad.” Thank heavens he hadn’t looked too close and there were no more questions. I don’t think I could’ve withstood that look for a minute longer.
I have no idea why I was so nervous as I pulled into the school parking lot. My stomach was full of butterflies, and my palms were sweaty. I wiped them on my skirt as I hopped out of my truck and looked around.
The catcalls and whistles started right away, and I was as red as a sunburnt tourist by the time I reached the safety of the school steps.
Why did I wear this stupid thing anyway? It’s been sitting in my closet for at least a year and I’d never had any intentions on wearing it ever.
I felt way more comfortable in jeans thank you very much and I didn’t need, nor did I want this extra attention.
But I’d bought the stupid thing at the spur of the moment on one of those days when I was missing what it meant to be a teenager. I should’ve known things wouldn’t go as I saw them in my head.
I was only interested in one male person’s attention, but of course he was nowhere to be found.
I soon found myself surrounded by the usual suspects though. Michelle, her boy Cain, Ian, Mark even Sara and Jane came over to join us.
Although Jane was back to looking like she’d smelt something foul. What was her problem anyway? She really needed to lighten up.
The way I see it, it’s not my fault if she’s had an interest in Azarov, which he ignored. That was going on before I came on the scene.
It beggared belief though that he would overlook her blonde beauty, and show an interest in me.
The pale, awkward girl, that didn’t have much going for her at all. Except a crazy head of hair.
“Nice new girl, very nice.” Mark made a complete circle around me, his eyes glued to my body in the skimpy get-up like the perv that he was.
“Cut it out.” I tried to get around
him to enter the building and get out of the spotlight. Not my favorite place to be, in fact, I had a serious aversion to being the center of attention.
“I’m just wondering what brought this on. This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain someone who’s been missing for the past week now would it?” I started past him, but he reached out and grabbed my hand.
“Oh shit...”
Michelle made that harried statement five seconds before I found my hand being snatched from Mark’s, who had been pushed into the wall behind us.
Thorn. I thought his name and heat infused me from head to toe.
He opened the doors with a loud bang and dragged me through them before I could enjoy the sensation.
This seemed to be the only way he knew of to get me from point A to point B. he had a firm grip on my arm as he pulled me along behind him.
I didn’t even try to free myself from him as he dragged me out of sight of the others, who were probably watching this all unfold.
I found myself pushed up against the wall, and then his fingers were there, wiping the blood red lipstick off my lips, none too gently I might add.
I was steadily looking into his face, so I saw the displeasure written there. Again he didn’t say a word to me afterward, just turned and walked away.
“It was just some stupid lipstick geez.” I ran my fingers over my abused lips as my heart beat me to death and my limbs felt weak.
He turned at the end of the hall and glared back at me; no way, there’s no way he could’ve heard that. I’d mumbled it way under my breath.
I took a deep gulp of air as he gave me one of those head to toe once overs, which ended with his eyes looking into mine again.
Even from this distance I could feel the impact. Oh yeah, I’d come to Havenhurst to die all right, but maybe not in the way I’d first thought.
I pressed myself firmly back against the wall as he made his way back to me. I noticed that no one had dared follow us inside, and wondered not for the first time, what kind of power this guy held over everyone here.
My knees started to shake, as he got closer; the tremble in my belly was fear mixed with some unknown emotion. Something I’d only felt in my dreams.
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