He’d spoken softly, but his words made Angelica feel warmed from the inside.
“She’s a welcome addition to our family. Now go. I’m sure you got everything when you loaded up but if not, I’ll be sure you get it.” Tilly moved to stand next to her husband, looping her hand through his arm while they watched Holden help Angelica into the wagon, and waving until they had driven out of sight.
Angelica pulled her dress up to keep it from snagging, sad and content at the same time knowing she wouldn’t wear the beautiful garment ever again. Somehow, knowing her friends at Elly’s boardinghouse were thinking of her as she embarked on something so new and intimidating made the difference for her. It was like they were all there with her, circled around her with hands clasped in a supportive, protective ring.
Once again, her throat felt tight. The day had been filled with highs and lows, and she was thankful that Holden seemed to appreciate the quiet beauty surrounding them. They rode in companionable silence until he veered the wagon off the main path.
“We have been on my property for a little while, but I thought I’d show you one of my favorite spots on my land before we go home.”
The wagon turned around a bend, revealing a field of beautiful pink and yellow wildflowers that rippled with the wind as the sun set beyond. Though she had seen her fair share of lovely sunsets, this felt like the most beautiful place on earth.
Angelica closed her eyes and said a silent prayer of thanks for the peace that filled her in that moment. Her future still held more unknowns than she’d be able to list, and some scared her more than others, but being there with Holden felt like the most right thing she’d ever done in her life.
“It’s beautiful.” Her voice sounded breathy and quiet to her ears, and she wasn’t certain Holden had heard her at first.
After a moment, he turned his gaze on her and said, “It never grows old for me. It’s like God saved up extra beauty and put it here for us to find.” He guided the horses back to the trail they’d come on, his shoulders relaxed as he let the horses take lead.
They picked up speed as they drove further onto the ranch. A row of small houses came to view first, causing Angelica to tense up. The homes were all uniform in size and evenly spaced apart. They reminded her of the commune she’d left behind. Her stomach churned.
“What’s wrong?” Holden stared carefully in the dimming light, his eyes seeking out hers.
“Those houses.” She pointed, half afraid to ask. “Who lives there?”
“Oh, I didn’t think to mention that the ranch hands stay in those bunkhouses. At least when they need to. Some have families elsewhere.”
Angelica felt her body begin to relax again. She gave the row of houses one last look before facing forward. A large stable came into view ahead, the structure one of the finest she had ever seen. “That’s quite a stable.”
Holden nodded his appreciation, a satisfied smile gracing his lips. “It was the first thing I built here.” The horses began to kick up dirt as their speed increased. “They’re anxious to get back to the stable. The ranch house isn’t far. I’ll unload your trunk and then get them settled for the night.”
“Do you need help with the horses?” Angelica offered without thinking but already knew Holden to be a proud man. She held her breath as he flicked his gaze to her.
“I could show you around the stable, if you like, but I can manage the pair just fine.” His gaze traveled down along the length of her gown. “If you want to keep that nice, the barn isn’t the best place for it.”
She ran her hands along the skirt, smoothing it in the deepening dusk light. He was right; she didn’t want to ruin her gown, as much as she sorely didn’t want to be alone in his strange house. “You’re right.”
“There’s the house, nestled behind those trees.” Holden pointed, his arm gently brushing hers with the movement.
The house was modest, certainly not grand like the barn, but it looked to be well-kept. It was endearing that Holden seemed more interested in protecting his animals than indulging himself.
He stopped the wagon near the front steps, applying the brake before stepping down. Angelica had already started to climb out when he reached for her, his smile a little sheepish. “Allow me, Mrs. Jamieson.”
Thankful for the shadows that hid her blush, Angelica allowed him to gently help her down, his broad hands warming her waist. She stared after him as he went to retrieve her trunk, her heart hammering painfully against her chest. The man was handsome, even in the dark.
“I’ll have the back unloaded in no time, then we’ll eat. I’m starving.”
Angelica stood off to the side, watching Holden as he worked with a fluid grace. Once he’d opened up the house and had lanterns burning, he came out and reached for her hand. “Well, wife, shall we?”
The title warmed her and sounded foreign in the same breath. Her throat felt dry and her heart pounded. He had made no mention of them being a mismatched pair, though he’d avoided kissing her. She needed him to find acceptance of her, sooner than later. Smiling, she said, “Let’s.”
Holden paused before the doorway to the ranch house and reached for her, picking her up in an easy, fluid movement. Her body soaked up his warmth through her dress, making her shiver slightly as he walked her across the threshold.
“Welcome home, Mrs. Jamieson.” Holden pointed to a door off to the side. “I’ve put your trunk in the bedroom. I’ll clear my things out after I see to the livestock, giving you the room to yourself.”
Holden nodded, disappearing out the door before the gasp escaped Angelica’s lips. He had no intention of living as man and wife. Her heart ached as her hand moved to her scar, tears trickling through her fingers.
Chapter Six
Holden patted Lil, grateful for a moment of solitude. Nothing in his life had prepared him for the events of the day, certainly not after the past few years of living mostly alone. Though he employed quite a few cattle hands, he had grown used to making all his decisions with the success of his ranch in mind. Now he had to plan around someone’s feelings and thoughts, and he felt blind as he guessed what Angelica was feeling or needed.
He tried to imagine what she had been through so far, moving across the country to marry him without any reassurances that he would be good to her. She’d left people behind, of that he was certain, but he knew very little about her past or how she’d come to live with Widow Bates.
Sighing, he decided he’d been stalling long enough and needed to face the new life that he chose with the bride that chose him simply from a letter….
He had questioned that time and again but had come to a place of acceptance over the unusual method he had resorted to in order to find his wife. He began walking back to the house, his stride slower than normal.
A man needed children to leave his ranch to. He considered that he worked from sun up to sun down without feeling truly anchored to his success. He was starting to feel like he was drifting through life, and needed something deeper.
For a time, he had hoped his sister and Paul would have children. Then he could feel like he was working for tomorrow, building a family legacy. He’d hesitated more than once before actively searching for a bride, feeling that bringing a woman to wild country was too risky.
Angelica was delicate, and it worried him, but he’d seen strength in her. He just needed to be careful and protect her. He wanted a relationship that would last. He didn’t know much about courting, but he’d take things slow and let her get familiar with her new life at her own pace.
Feeling like he’d resolved some of his concerns, Holden walked through the doors of his home, startled a little by the sight of Angelica in front of his cookstove. She had changed into a work dress, an apron wrapped around her hand as she pulled the lid off a pot.
She turned and smiled, the soft light catching golden highlights in her hair.
“Smells nice.” He sat and began the process of taking his work boots off.
“Y
our sister is an incredible cook.” His wife grinned. “I have to confess. I tasted some of the stew while you were in the barn. It’s the best I think I’ve ever had.”
He laughed as he poured water into the washbasin. “She has definitely spoiled me. What she said was true. The men here make passable meals that do little more than keep us from starving.”
She stirred the pot as she stared at him. The water splashed back into the basin, cold rivulets running down his neck in a welcome distraction.
“I’ll learn to make meals you like.” She spoke confidently, as if she’d already decided it before he came in from the barn. “Only…”
“What is it?” He sat at the table, watching her graceful movements. He wanted to run his hands along her arms, to pull her against his chest. Reminding himself of his resolve to take things slowly, he folded his hands together and waited for her to answer.
Hesitantly, she said, “I checked your kitchen inventory, and I think I can work with what you have but….”
He grinned. “But you need some better cooking utensils and supplies?”
She chuckled softly. “Exactly.”
“Tilly may have given me a piece of her mind regarding getting the house ready for a bride. I thought maybe you’d like to outfit the kitchen as you see fit, so I decided to wait. However,” he pointed to the flowery curtains that seemed out of place in his space, “she insisted on making new curtains and bedding to welcome you.”
“They’re lovely.” She carefully served the stew into the mismatched bowls he owned, smiling as if working cheerfully was a habit of hers. She set the meal in front of him, sitting across from him expectantly.
Her nearness was distracting, her lavender scent mingling with the aroma of stew and leather, gentling his surroundings in ways he hadn’t expected.
She watched him, patience and gentleness flickering across her face as gentle brown eyes met his. For a moment, he forgot himself. She brought her palms together and waited.
“Sorry. I’ll say grace before the food grows cold.” He spoke aloud, a little unused to praying in front of others. When he was done, Angelica’s head was still bowed. He waited for her to finish before picking up his spoon.
She inhaled deeply, seeming to have thoughts far away, just out of his reach. “Everything alright?”
“Yes. I guess I was just wondering about something.”
Holden swallowed hard. This woman in front of him was quickly becoming a solid part of his life, and it created a vulnerability he wasn’t expecting. “What is it?”
“I was just wondering why you wanted a mail-order bride? Surely a man such as you wouldn’t have difficulty finding a wife of your own choosing.”
She stared at her lap, her long eyelashes golden brown, matching the smattering of freckles across her nose. He tried not to smile at her when she had just asked such a serious question but failed. “What do you mean, such as me?”
She looked up sharply. “Someone as handsome as you.” Her face reddened, the bloom spreading across her cheeks and down her neck. Brown eyes flickered down to her lap and back up again.
“I guess the large cattle ranch could make me a more appealing groom to some, but out here in wild country where life isn’t easy or completely safe, it doesn’t make much of a difference.”
She took a bite of stew, seeming to wait for him to continue while she chewed slowly.
“There aren’t many women around here that are of the childbearing age, unless they work at Hog Ranch.”
“So you are opposed to a woman working to support their families, like Elly at the boardinghouse? We wouldn’t have met without her matchmaking efforts.”
Holden quickly shook his head. “No. I didn’t mean to imply that Widow Bates has done anything improper.” His face warmed. Letting out the breath he’d been holding, he said, “I don’t know a polite way to say it, other than the women working there are selling their bodies.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t seem surprised by that.”
“I guess I’m not. It’s not unheard of. Even women in the Bible did just that.”
“True, but it still isn’t something I’d normally discuss in polite company.” Holden began to eat, hoping the subject was finished.
“Have you ever gone to Hog Ranch for company?”
Holden choked on his mouthful, coughing as tears involuntarily sprung to his eyes. Angelica quickly stood, rounding the table and reaching around to pat his back. When the coughing cleared, he took a drink of water, stalling. He stood and faced her.
“I thought I made it clear what kind of man I am. What kind of life I want. I’ve never been to a place like that and wouldn’t dishonor myself before God by doing so.” His body was tense. He was offended she had asked him, but he tried to remind himself that she barely knew him.
“I’m sorry.” Angelica reached for him, hesitantly putting her hand on his chest as if to calm him. “I didn’t mean to insult you. I simply don’t understand why you didn’t kiss me at our wedding.” She looked sad, the content expression from earlier gone.
“What on earth would the two subjects have in common?” He waited patiently as she stared up at him, so close to each other that he could feel her warm breath on his neck.
Angelica dropped her chin. “Maybe it’s because you realize that we’re so mismatched.” She pressed her palm against her jaw, bringing his attention to her scar that he’d already stopped noticing.
“You mean because you’re worried about your scar?”
She nodded silently before lifting her gaze to his chin, no longer meeting his eyes. “You were supposed to be homely.” She spoke quietly as if her voice was wrapped with emotion that she tried to wrestle.
He was close enough to put his hands on her back, but he didn’t trust himself not to pull her near. “I am.”
She dropped her chin again, shaking her head as a tear rolled down. “You’re not homely at all. You don’t want me now that you know I’m scarred and broken. I pushed you into a fast wedding, forcing you to save face.”
He reached for his wife, pulling her into his arms. He felt her body shudder against his chest, his hands instinctively rubbing her back as he rested his chin on the top of her head. She fit him perfectly, as if they were made for each other.
Unsure what to say, he pulled back enough to see her face. The sadness and uncertainty there broke something in him. He kissed her cheek, tasting the salty tears. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded, her expression forlorn. “I understand.” She pulled away, wiping her cheek dry with her shoulder.
Lamplight flickered behind her, her face shadow and light. She looked as vulnerable as he felt. “I’m sorry you don’t know how beautiful you are.” She turned back to him, her eyes wide as she gasped softly. “I don’t see a scar or a broken woman. I see strength and bravery, and depth that I want to know more of.”
He reached for her, feeling her hands tremble against his chest as he pulled her near. “I believe in us.” His heartbeat quickened as he leaned down, his lips gently grazing hers. She was warm and soft, and kissed him back without hesitation.
Her kiss left him wanting more, but he pulled back. He wanted to get to know his wife, filling the voids of the years of mystery that stood between them.
“But you said you’re moving out of the bedroom.”
“To give you space to adjust to your new life. I don’t want to rush things.”
She reached for his hand, hesitantly at first, her grip strengthening as she stood straighter. Her expression was hard to read, but the small smile on her lips suggested she was pleased he wanted to wait.
“Mr. Jamieson, it’s time we made our marriage official.”
Chapter Seven
Faint dawn light filtered through flowery curtains as Angelica slowly awakened as a rooster crowed nearby. She stretched out stiff muscles before sitting upright in the bed, inhaling the spicy male scent Holden had left behind.
She felt guilty for sleepi
ng in, certain that Holden was as famished as she was. She quickly dressed and left her haven, nervous and excited about her new life all at once.
The main area of the small home was empty, their dishes from the night before still on the table where they’d left them. She shook her head over the wasted food as her stomach rumbled loudly.
“I won’t tell Tilly if you won’t.” Holden stood in the doorway with his hat in his hands and winked.
Angelica’s breath caught as she tried to steady the bowls in her hands. Holden’s sudden presence wasn’t nearly as startling as the feelings his smile evoked.
“You must be starving.” Angelica turned towards the wood stove, trying to decide what to prepare from the meagre supplies.
“Actually, I came to see if you would like to meet the crew and eat breakfast with them?” Holden reached up and tucked a curl behind her ear, his palm grazing her cheek.
Distracted by his touch, she simply nodded, feeling silly that words had escaped her. He gently took her hand and led her to the doorway, putting his hat back on as they walked through it. She smiled up at him, finding him hard not to look at.
“What?”
“It’s just that you’re wearing a hat and the sun’s barely up. Is that the cattleman’s way?”
He nodded. “I suppose so. At least for me. Gotta keep the hat handy and keep my hands free. It sits in its rightful place.”
She laughed, the soft sound seeming to carry across the grass. “I love the ranch already.”
Holden beamed with pride. “I haven’t shown you very much of it yet. What do you love about it?”
Angelica craned her neck around to see more of the property before returning her gaze to her husband. “You’re here.” He smiled broadly, and if she wasn’t mistaken, a glint of pride lit his eyes.
“The men are over there, at our outdoor kitchen.” He pointed to a structure she had missed the night before. “We mostly eat breakfast and lunch together, splitting off for dinner. The men eat at the bunkhouses or in town, and some of them go home for their meals. We have a small group here today, only six of us, but the crew is twenty-two strong.”
Mail-Order Mismatch: Brides of Burlington County, Book Two Page 4