“Now that was a good movie, sis,” Vic said as we watched the credits to the movie The Perfect Guy.
“I know, right? Somebody told me it wasn’t that good, but I thought it was great.”
“Evidently, whoever told you that doesn’t know a good movie when they see one. I don’t know if the drama kept my attention or Morris Chestnut and Michael Ealy. I would give anything to spend a night with either one of them sexy men.”
“There you go. You do know both of them are in a committed relationship and neither are gay?”
“So?”
“Vic,” I said looking at him with my head tilted.
“Sis, I got skills. I can turn a straight man my way.”
“I bet you can, but I never thought you were one of those men who ruined relationships.”
“Oh hell. Here you go, all in your feelings.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Kell, I’m joking.”
I scrunched my lips up at him like I didn’t believe him.
“Okay, I wasn’t, but . . .” he said holding up a finger, “I’m not a person who likes to ruin relationships. I know how it feels, and I would never want to put that type of pain on someone else.”
I smiled at my brother as I looked at Meena who still hadn’t budged from his shoulder. With all his movement, I was surprised she hadn’t woken up. She was really knocked out. Vic glanced at her too and smiled.
“Homegirl is slobbing and everything. I better get her up before my entire right side gets soaked.”
I giggled as I watched my brother gently try to wake Meena. This girl was a hard cookie to get up.
“Sweetie . . . Come on. Let’s go to bed,” Vic said, sitting her up. Meena still had her eyes closed as she frowned from us disturbing her. Vic stood and Meena took this as her opportunity to lie down where he was sitting.
“Meena, sweetie, come on. Let me take you to your room,” Vic said, pulling on her. Meena sat up wiping her eyes over and over again like she had allergies. Vic took her free hand and pulled her up from the sofa. He looped her arm through his and patted her hand as he led her to the spare bedroom. I followed and watched Vic pull back the covers for Meena to climb in.
“Thank you, Vic,” she murmured.
My brother beamed like a proud stepbrother and tiptoed out of the room with me.
“I just love that girl,” Vic said. “And I don’t get along with kids.”
“It seems Meena loves you too, and she doesn’t get along with adults.”
We both burst into laughter as we returned to the living room to get comfortable on the couch again.
“Sis, it’s close to two in the morning. If you expect me to go to church with you and the girls tomorrow, then a brother needs to get his beauty rest.”
I’d completely forgot about telling Monica we would go to church with her in the morning. She called and asked, and I said yes, figuring I needed to go. But now that I thought about it, I wished I didn’t make that commitment to her because I would rather sleep in.
“Now we’ve watched a horror movie, a comedy, and then a thriller. So we’re good.”
“I’m not sleepy though,” I admitted.
“And what does that mean? Is that sister code for stay up with me until I get sleepy?”
I tried to give him an angelic expression, hoping he would, but my brother quickly shot me down.
“Girl, there go, using your endearing face. You know it doesn’t work all the time.”
“I know it’s working now.”
“What else is there to do? We have talked, watched damn near six hours of movies, ate all the damn snacks. It’s time to go to bed.”
“We can talk about taking a trip to Mommy’s house.”
“Oh, hell nawh.”
“Vic—”
“Kell, I’m not going to see that woman.”
“She’s your mother.”
“She hasn’t played the role of one in years, not to me anyway. The woman can teach Sunday school and mentor the little children, but she ostracizes her own son. Christians don’t suppose to do that.”
My brother was getting very emotional, and I wished I hadn’t brought up the idea. Seeing him this upset made me feel bad for him. At least I got to speak with her. She wouldn’t talk to Vic, all because of the gender he chose to love. I knew now his relationship with our mother was a bigger undertaking than I thought. He’d done nothing wrong in my eyes. It was our mother who was the one wrong here.
“Can’t you try one more time? You can be bigger than her.”
“Why? So she can shoot me down again? For her to tell me how I’m going to hell or look past me like I’m not even in the room? Kell, that’s hurtful. It’s destroyed me inside. I don’t talk about it, because I’m mad at myself for allowing her to make me feel so guilty about the choices I’ve made. I’ve questioned myself every single day. Hell, I’ve questioned God why I’m the way I am. I can’t help who I choose to fall in love with, and I’m tired feeling like I have to constantly explain the fact I’m an African American gay man. Everybody knows that’s the worst person to be—ever.”
“That’s not true,” I said.
“But it is, Kell. Black society understands men who cheat, women who cheat, heterosexual relationships, abuse, lying, stealing, robbing, using drugs, prostitution, and so many more things, but accepting and trying to understand the fact a black man is gay—”
“Vic, you know we don’t accept all of those things,” I tried to explain.
“I was being condescending. You know damn well what I mean.”
“I do,” I conceded.
“I just want to be acknowledged for the man I am.”
“I love you,” I consoled.
My brother smiled hopelessly as he said, “I love you too.”
Vic and I had this conversation many times, but I’d never seen him this emotional about it. Seeing how hurt he was pained me. I could not imagine how he was feeling with Mom disowning him. Honestly, if I was in his shoes, I’m not sure if I would handle the situation any differently. I guess the little girl in me missed the times when we were a family. I figured I would go to the person who was less stubborn to try to fix this. But now I wasn’t sure if I wanted to expose my brother to being shunned again.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” I said sincerely, reaching over to my brother and grabbing his hand.
“It’s never you. It’s the situation. Kell, I think about this all the time, wondering if I can go straight for the sake of my relationship with Mom,” he confessed. “But I know I wouldn’t be living in my truth. I would be living for Mom and the world, and how is that fair to me?”
“It’s not. You need to walk in your truth. I’m not going to push this issue anymore. It’s not up to you to try make this work when it wasn’t you who walked away from the relationship,” I accepted.
“Don’t get me wrong, I really do want to see Mom. A part of me just wants to lay eyes on her if only one more time because I know tomorrow is not promised. I’ve actually had nightmares about never seeing her again, thinking I could have sucked it up and went to see her. So maybe this is God’s way of telling me it’s time.”
“I don’t want you to think I pushed you into this, Vic.”
“Please, Kell. You know you can’t push me into anything I don’t want to do. I know in my heart I need to go see Mom even if the visit doesn’t go the way I would like it to go.”
“So, are you saying we are taking a trip?” I asked.
Before Vic could answer the question, there was a knock at the door. Both Vic and I just gawked at each other.
“I know ain’t nobody knocking at my door after two in the morning,” I said in confusion.
“You know it’s for you because no one knows I’m here.”
“Who could it be?” I said, standing to my feet. I can’t lie, I was a bit nervous. No one ever knocked or called me this time of the morning unless something was wrong. I was glad my brother was here because I
don’t know if I would even check to see who was on the other side of my door otherwise.
“There’s only one person I can think of,” Vic said, standing with me, and he instantly got an attitude.
Swinging the door opened, I spewed, “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hunty. Slow your roll. I come in peace.”
I looked back at my brother who stood with his mouth open. There weren’t many times my brother was speechless. The puzzled look on his face was one I hadn’t seen before. I was embarrassed he had to witness such ghetto antics.
Turning my attention back to my husband’s lover I said, “Jeffrey no longer lives here.”
The first thing I noticed about him was his Chanel bag hanging from the crook of his arm. I knew it had to be fake, just like he was. He had on all-black, looking like he was about to rob the place, with huge silver hoops dangling from his earlobes. I don’t know if he was trying to show me he was the better person for Jeffrey, but he didn’t have to, because from where I stood, this man could have him.
“I’m not here for him. I’m here to speak to you.”
“About what?” I snapped.
“Look, it’s chilly out here. Can you let me in so we can talk like adults?” Kyle said.
“Oh, now you want to act like adults? Where was this maturity when you were in my house sucking my husband’s dick?”
Kyle chuckled as he put his hand up to his temple like he was thinking about it. Then he sucked his teeth and continued to speak.
“Are you going to allow me to speak or not?” He said this with attitude, like he was doing me a damn favor.
“Not,” and I slammed the door in his face.
I heard Kyle’s gasp through the door before hearing him call me a bitch. Vic rushed to the door, but I stopped him from opening it again, knowing he was going to proceed to kicking Kyle’s ass. As much as I would have loved that to go down, I didn’t want to see my brother get in any trouble over someone who was not worth the time or energy. I dragged him back over to the sofa, pulling him down beside me.
“The nerve of Jeffrey to send his man whore to fight his battles for him,” Vic grumbled. “I mean, what the hell?”
“My husband is a punk.”
“You damn right he is. Kyle seems to have more spunk than he does.”
“When I looked at you earlier, you looked like you may have known him,” I said.
“What?” Vic chuckled. “I mean, I thought I may have known him too, but once he got to talking, I knew I was wrong.”
“You sure?” I asked skeptically.
“Kell, just because I’m a gay man, and he’s a gay man, doesn’t mean we know all gay men.”
I giggled as I reached over and cut the television off.
“Now, I’m tired. That confrontation was enough to sap all my energy away from me,” I said, standing.
“Wait a sec,” Vic said holding my hand. “If I don’t say this now, I may never say it. I agree with you and think we should go pay Mom a visit.”
I jumped on my brother, causing him to fall back.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Vic.”
“No, thank you, sis. There’s a reason why things are happening like they are, and I’m going to follow the path God is taking me.”
Sonya
26
Someone was shaking me, and for a moment, I thought I was dreaming. I didn’t appreciate being woke up because I was sleeping some kind of good. I prayed it wasn’t already morning because I promised Monica I’d attend church today, and I didn’t feel like getting up. When the person shook me again, I squinted and realized Dempsey was standing over me. He had his shirt off, and then it all came back to me how I invited him over to work my middle since it had been a little while.
“Man, what do you want?” I murmured.
“Sonya, you have company.”
I looked up at him to see if he was playing with me, but the serious look he had on his face let me know he wasn’t.
“Who? And what time is it?”
“It’s a few minutes after three.”
“Oh, hell no. I’m going back to sleep,” I said turning away from him. “If somebody is coming by to see me this time of morning, tell them to come at a decent time to talk to me.”
“Sonya, he says his name is Kegan.”
The mention of Kegan’s name caused my heart to gallop. I sat up abruptly, pulling the covers around me as I unconsciously began to smooth down my tangled braids. I looked around Dempsey like Kegan was standing right there in the room and was relieved when I didn’t see him.
“So, Kegan saw you?” I asked.
Dropping his gaze, Dempsey’s brows knitted as he said, “He had to if I was the one who opened the door.”
“Who told you to open my door?”
“Damn, Sonya. I heard the knock at your door and saw you didn’t budge. Thinking it could have been Meena, I answered it, not knowing another dude was going to be on the other side.”
Hearing concern in his voice and the crestfallen look he was giving me made me feel bad for coming at him like I was. The fact he thought it could have been my daughter warmed my heart. But Dempsey was the last person I wanted Kegan to see in my home this time of the morning. I know what I’d think. But why was he here anyway, and at this time? Something had to be wrong.
“He’s in the living room,” Dempsey told me. “Do you want me to get rid of him?”
“No, I got it.”
“I told him it was late, and he needed to come back at a decent hour, but he insisted on speaking with you,” Dempsey explained as I got out of bed and grabbed my robe to wrap around myself. Pulling it tightly around me, I finger combed my hair, trying to make it look better than it did when I got up. I also wiped at my mouth, making sure I didn’t have residual slop present. I tended to do that when I slept extra hard.
Looking at Dempsey, his hardened demeanor let me know he was not happy Kegan was here. I’m pretty sure he was none too happy also to see me making sure I was together before I went to go speak with him. Ignoring his look of annoyance, I walked out of the room to see what Kegan wanted.
He was sitting on my couch when I entered the living room, and the pure presence of him caused my adrenaline to spike. He sensed my presence and stood when he saw me. He was more handsome than I remembered. Did he mean to show up looking this damn good? He was dressed in a black tux looking very dapper. His formal attire threw me off for a minute. Here I was looking a hot ass mess, smelling like sex, and he was looking like he’d just come from a gala event. If I didn’t think it would look so obvious, I would have told him to wait a bit while I showered, changed, and made myself more presentable, but I didn’t want him to think he was that important to me anymore . . . even though he was. I wished this was under better circumstances, but he was the one in my home at this late hour. There had to be a good reason why, and I couldn’t wait to hear what that was.
“Hey, Sonya. I’m sorry to interrupt,” he said nervously.
“It’s okay,” I answered leisurely, walking over to the love seat. He watched with intensity as I lowered myself, and I gestured for him to sit back down.
“So, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” I asked nonchalantly.
I was trying to act like his presence really didn’t mess me up. I was feeling all types of emotions right now. I was feeling love, hate, rage, anxiety, fear, compassion, and even lust, even though I’d not too long ago slept with Dempsey.
“I meant to come over earlier, but it didn’t quite work out like I planned,” he said, looking down at his formal attire.
“You look nice.”
“Yes, it was the boss’s annual birthday bash.”
“Oh, that’s right. Mr. Chamberlin’s birthday was Wednesday,” I said, remembering when we’d attended this same event together last year. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s still kicking. I swear that man is going to outlive all of us,” he chuckled.
“How old did he turn? Is it seventy-two?” I asked.
“That’s right. You have a good memory.”
“Mr. Chamberlin is a great man. When you see him, tell him I asked about him.”
“I will,” he said as he dropped his gaze.
For a moment nothing was said as Kegan looked down at the floor. That was, until the invitation on the coffee table caught his eye. He reached over and pulled it out from under the other mail that covered it. He stared at it before looking at me.
“Who sent this to you?”
“You did.”
He shook his head saying, “I didn’t send you this.”
“You didn’t?” I asked in surprise.
Then like a lightbulb went off for both of us, I said, “Imani must’ve been the one to send that to me.”
It all made sense now, how she came at me yesterday in Macys. She purposely made it a point for me to see her ring, so why wouldn’t she be trifling enough to send me an invite to their upcoming nuptials? What was more surprising to me was Kegan’s reaction. He didn’t seem pleased that I had it.
“I can’t believe she did this.”
“Why not? She was the side chick who broke us up,” I said, and as soon as I said those words, I wished I hadn’t because it showed how bitter I still was about what she did to our relationship.
“Sonya, I didn’t come over here to discuss Imani,” he said looking at me with compassion.
“So, why are you here?” I questioned.
“I came by because I heard about what Meena did.”
“Your little whore couldn’t wait to run back and tell you that. What? Did she tell you Meena was the ringleader?”
“As a matter of fac—”
I cut him off, bolting up out of the chair.
“If you are going to believe that bitch—”
“Sonya, calm down. That’s why I’m here, to find out exactly what happened,” he said, looking up at me.
Big Girls Drama Page 14