I watched the minister go back to his seat next to Mr. Woods and began to speak.
“Giving honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ . . . To the ministers on the roster, First Lady, deacons, deaconesses, and congregation, good morning.”
Good mornings rang out around me.
“It’s so good to be in the house of the Lord one more time. I wish I could say I’m here every Sunday, but I’m not. I’m a sheep who strays sometimes, but I always return.”
“Amen,” some members shouted.
“What people need to understand is that there’s a lot of individuals like me. Many of you were me. We want to come to church, but then we get lazy and decide not to come for one Sunday, which leads to many.”
“My Lord,” someone said.
“My mother called it a teeter tottering faith. I use to get mad when she said this to me, but it wasn’t until I was on the brink of losing my mom that I understood what she was telling me. She raised me in the church. She hoped I would remain in church, but she knew I would run out into the world and do me because that’s what most of us do. She told me she did it too. My mom’s last day here on this earth, she smiled and told me she knew I would return.”
“Amens,” rang out louder.
“That was the prayer my mother had for me. She was dying, but she was still praying and ministering to my soul because her faith was anchored. She knew where she was going and was happy about seeing her forever home. She used her last breath to tell me never forget where my blessings came from. ‘Put God first and go to the house of the Lord and praise him.’”
“My Lord, my Lord,” someone said.
I paused, getting choked up at the thought of my mother who I missed tremendously.
“I didn’t like coming to church because I saw so many so-called Christians sitting in the pews claiming to be doing God’s work but sitting in judgment. Some talked about people. Some shunned people. I say some even tried to destroy people.”
“My Lord!” someone exclaimed.
“And I’m not going to lie, it angered me. I’ve been on the receiving end of this, unfortunately,” I said, looking at Pastor Woods who nodded but quickly averted his gaze. “I thought Christians were supposed to be trying to win souls, not degrade them to the point of them never wanting to come to church at all.”
“Say so, child,” an elderly woman said.
“I can easily point fingers at a few people in this church right now who claim to be Christians but have made me feel like church is the last place I want be.”
I noticed the entire time, Mrs. Woods didn’t bother to turn around anymore to face me. I really wish I could see her expression, but it was okay. I was going to do what I came here to do.
“I’ve been at the grocery store and saw a minister, in this church, who I spoke to, and the man didn’t bother to part his lips to me.”
Moans and groans reverberated throughout the sanctuary. I noticed each minister on the panel look around to each other, wondering who I was speaking about.
“But when I came to church, he was smiling and trying to shake my hand, welcoming me to the house of the Lord, and all I could think about was now he can speak. Was this all about appearance and putting on a show? Doesn’t he know you can’t put on performances for God because he sees through all?”
“Yes, he does,” many said, nodding.
“I have several stories like this. I’ve even considered naming individuals today because I’ve truly become fed up with the deceitfulness of people. I thought if I put them on blast, maybe this would be the wake-up they needed to do better.”
I looked again at Mr. Woods, who tried to look calm, but I knew he was sweating bullets under his robe.
“But what kind of person would I be?”
My friends clapped, and it wasn’t until then that I was reminded they were here with me.
“I would be acting just like them. My mom was a wise woman who told me you are responsible for your actions and your soul. Never allow someone to take you out of your character. I know she’s here with me today,” I said, looking upward as my eyes brimmed with tears. “Even now, my mom is holding my hand and letting me know that God fights my battles.”
Vivian was beside me and reached out, grabbing my hand.
“I’m sorry to take up so much time with my testimony, but I felt this needed to be said.”
“That’s all right, honey,” another church member said.
“I stood, thinking this was going to go one way, but God intervened, leading me down another path. I know he’s proud, and I know for sure my mother is proud of me too. Please, church, pray I don’t allow my enemy to take me down. Pray I continue to grow, despite the negativity of others. Please pray for my strength in the Lord, and I will do the same. Thank you and God bless.”
I sat down and sobbed like a child. I honestly could feel my mother’s presence in this moment, and it rocked me to my core. It was like her hand was in the middle of my back, telling me you’re better than this and the only thing I could think about doing was making her proud. Funny how you go into a situation thinking one thing, not knowing God could quickly steer things to go in another direction.
Needless to say, my in-laws were relieved I didn’t spill the tea. The fact I tap-danced around the issue let them know this could have easily gone another way. Trying to be the bigger person was not an easy task, and after church, I went over and spoke to both of them. They smiled and awed about what a wonderful testimony I gave. Again, this was for show. Many members were around us, and I knew it was all lies. But again, I felt my mother’s hand on my back, telling me to smile and keep it moving. God has this. As much as I knew this, I still had my doubts. I wanted immediate retribution. That was the human side of me, but I had to suck it up in this moment and allow my mother’s spirit to guide me down a more righteous path.
What was going on in my marriage and my life right now was challenging. Still, it wasn’t as challenging as the secrets I’d been keeping for far too long. Maybe it was time to really speak my truth. I was afraid. I knew this truth could set me free, but it was also going to possibly rain down the biggest storm in my life.
Sonya
29
After church, everyone decided we should go have lunch together. I wanted to decline due to the long night I’d had, but Monica talked me into joining them. All I wanted to do was figure out the next steps I needed to take to get my car fixed, but I knew there was nothing I could do since it was Sunday. Right now, I was driving Kegan’s spare vehicle, an Audi, which was a lot nicer than my own car. I almost told him I couldn’t take this car, but after taking another look at the damage his crazy fiancée caused to my ride, I gladly accepted. I would drive it until the wheels fell off. We were supposed to meet up later and talk about how we were going to proceed with things. What that meant, I didn’t know. He was the one who was engaged to be married, so was he going to tell me the wedding was off? He also wanted to see Meena and talk to her about everything that’s been going on. It was a conversation that was long overdue, so I was happy he was finally making an attempt to see her.
Meena decided she didn’t want to go to lunch with a bunch of old people. That was fine with me because that would be less money I had to spend. Of course, she had all types of questions about the car I was driving, and I told her everything that happened. Well, almost everything. I excluded Dempsey coming over because I felt like that would be a different type of conversation I wasn’t ready to talk about. She took everything in stride and was happy Kegan was coming over later to see her. The excitement I saw in my daughter made me happy. I just hoped Kegan wouldn’t disappoint her again. If he did, I was going to go find him and drag him to my daughter myself.
After dropping Meena off, I went straight to the restaurant. Even making that quick run, I still beat Kellie to the restaurant. Monica and Vivian were already seated when I arrived, making this feel like déjà vu again.
“Here I’m thinking I’m running b
ehind, and Kellie and her brother haven’t got here yet,” I said, sitting down.
“You know Kellie. I’ve given up on her ever arriving anywhere on time,” Monica replied.
“Well, I tell you one thing. I’m not going to wait on her like we did the last time. We’re going to order our drinks and food, and she’s just going to have to get in where she fits in, because I have plans,” I disclosed.
“What plans?” Monica asked.
Smirking, I said, “Kegan is coming over later.”
Both Vivian’s and Monica’s eyes widened at this admission.
“Is that whose car you are driving?” Monica asked.
“You noticed,” I giggled.
“Of course, I did. Now, spill the beans and tell us how that came about.”
I told them the short version of everything that happened and watched as the two of them listened intently. Neither had questions until I was finished, ending it with me driving Kegan’s car.
“I’m surprised you showed up to church at all,” Vivian said.
“Trust me, I wanted to call and say I couldn’t make it. I’m exhausted.”
“Not too exhausted that you don’t want to see Kegan,” Monica joked.
All I could do was smile because I was excited about seeing him. Many scenarios about how his visit was going to be flashed through my mind, but I tried not to dwell on them. The main thing I tried not to do was get my hopes up about us getting back together. As much as I would like to think I would take him back, I knew things were a lot different. Especially since he had a crazy ex-fiancée in the midst.
* * *
Changing the subject I said, “Monica, your testimony today was on point.”
“Thank you. I don’t even know where it came from. Honestly, I stood up to say one thing, and I ended up saying something different. If you all would have known what I was really up to, I don’t think any of you would have shown up at church today,” Monica admitted.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
Sighing, Monica started to speak, but Kellie and her brother approached the table.
“We made it,” she said, sitting next to me. Victor pulled up the chair beside her and had a seat.
“At least you are not as late as the last time,” I said.
“I wouldn’t let her,” Victor said, arching his brows. “I can’t stand being late somewhere.”
“You sure you’re kin to this woman, because Kellie is late to everything?” I stated.
“Yes, she’s my sister. She’s always been like that. Usually, if I’m going with her anywhere, I’ll drive because I know as long as I’m behind the wheel, we are going to make it on time,” he said.
“OK, I’m right here, you guys. No need to bash me,” Kellie said.
“You should be glad we’re bashing you in your face and not behind your back,” Victor joked, and Kellie playfully hit her brother.
“I know we just came from the Lord’s house, but can we please get some alcohol on this table? I’m waiting for the waiter to change this water into wine,” Victor said, and we all burst into laughter.
Seeing Kellie, I could tell she was happy her brother was here. I could see why, because he was hilarious. I’d met him one other time before, but it was just for a quick moment. It was nice spending more time with him. He was very handsome, and if he wasn’t gay, I think I would have tried to hit on him.
“Come to think about it, no one has come to ask us for anything. Are the waiters and waitresses on strike?” Monica asked.
“Not at all because I see a few right there huddled up together.” Victor lifted his arm and began waving at the young women yelling, “Excuse me, waitress girls. Can one of you come take our orders?”
Placing her elbows on the table, Kellie dropped her face into the palms of her hands and began shaking her head in embarrassment. We all were laughing because we thought it was funny. Victor was right. They were huddled up and not doing their job. We should have at least had our drink orders taken, but no one had even done that. One waitress immediately came over and apologized for our wait, but she looked none too happy about assisting us. After she noticed the disgruntled look Victor was giving her, she quickly switched up her attitude as she took our drink orders and immediately scurried away.
“She’s not getting a tip because she acts like she has a problem with us,” Victor said.
“No, the problem is not with you all. The problem is with me,” Vivian acknowledged.
“Why?” I asked.
“I basically threatened her when she kept hitting on my husband the last time I was in this restaurant. She unbuttoned her blouse and everything. Her breasts damn near fell onto Sheldon’s plate.”
“Oh, hell nawh. I would have checked her too, honey,” Victor said. “Women these days don’t care if the man got a ring on or sitting right beside your ass. They are daring enough to try to snatch your man away from you.”
“You mad, Victor?” Kellie asked her brother.
“I’m getting there. I can’t stand people like her. They think because they pretty, they can disrespect the next woman, or man, for that matter. I’ve had some women tell my ex they could turn him back straight.”
“Get out of here,” Monica belted.
“I’m serious. But Aaron made sure not to tell me that mess until we got home, because he knew I would have snatched that bitch bald.”
Laughter erupted around the table as I reached across Kellie to give her brother a high five. We smacked hands as the waitress returned with our drinks and appetizers. Victor sat back with his arms crossed, looking at his nails, admiring them like he’d just got them done.
“Do you have a problem with us?” Victor asked.
Kellie swatted at him, mumbling for him to hush, but he frowned and turned his attention back to the waitress awaiting her answer. Hell, I was interested in hearing what she had to say too.
“Excuse me?” the waitress asked, looking confused.
“I’m just asking because you look like you not happy about serving us. It’s either that, or you are unhappy with your job. Which is it?” he asked.
“Oh no. There isn’t a problem,” she said giving us a weak smile. “I like my job.”
“If you say so. I hope the next time you return to this table, you come with a better attitude because if there is a problem, you can get one of your other waitress friends to serve us.”
“Victor! Oh my goodness, I can’t take you anywhere,” Kellie reprimanded.
“What? She know she has a problem with us.”
“Sir, I don’t have a problem with any of you,” the waitress countered.
“Uh-huh,” Victor said, side eyeing her.
Clearing her throat, the waitress asked, “Can I take your lunch orders if you are ready?”
“Give us a minute, please. Better yet, make it ten,” Victor answered.
The waitress walked away, and I burst into laughter, saying, “Victor, you are a man after my own heart.”
“I just like to call it like I see it.”
“I hope you calling it like you see it don’t make that girl put something in our food,” Kellie added.
“I swear to Jesus Christ if I find out that heifer messed with my food, she’s going to visit Jesus quicker than she anticipated.”
Again, I burst into laughter, looking over at Kellie saying, “I’m moving him in with me. Because I’m in love with him.”
“I know you strictly dickly, which I have a large one, but you don’t have the genitals I’m interested in. Now, if you were born a man, we may have some things to talk about,” he said looking at me flirtatiously.
“I’m all woman, honey, all 240 pounds of me.”
“I like my girls BBW,” Victor said, rapping Drake’s lyrics.
“The kind that suck you dry and cook some lunch for you,” I finished, and we both high-fived again.
I noticed some other patrons looking our way, but I didn’t care. I was really having a great tim
e with Victor. The funny thing was, we hadn’t had any alcohol yet, but that was going to change now.
“I can’t take either of you anywhere,” Kellie admitted.
“Whew, I need a drink. I’ve worked up a thirst.” Taking a long sip of his wine, Victor said, “Yes, Jesus fixed it. I so needed that.”
“Me too,” Monica agreed. “Especially with what I have to tell you guys.”
All eyes fell on her as she shifted nervously. I noticed she wasn’t talking as much after Kellie and Victor arrived. She was always more engaging, but now she wasn’t saying anything. Whatever she had to tell us must’ve been weighing on her heavy, because she looked like she was about to hyperventilate.
“Please don’t tell us you getting ready to die or something, because I can’t take any news like that,” I said.
“No, Sonya. But I do want to say I haven’t been up front with you at all.”
“About what?” Kellie asked.
“One thing I want to confess to you all is Devin has asked me for a divorce.”
All of us looked at Monica with sympathy, and Vivian was the first one to break the sudden silence that fell among us.
“Monica, I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay. I’m still trying to come to terms with it,” she said, forcing a smile. “I would love to spill my guts right now, but I want to talk to you all more about what’s going on with me away from this restaurant. I hope you understand.”
“So you expect me to wait after you dropped a bomb like that on me?” I asked, trying to be funny and break the tension.
“Let’s just eat first, and then we can go somewhere to talk about this.”
“We can go back to my house,” Vivian suggested.
“Really?” I asked.
“Sure. You ladies and gentleman have welcomed me in with open arms, so I would be happy if you all came back to my home.”
“Is your husband going to be okay with this?” Kellie asked.
“He’s working today, unfortunately, but I know he wouldn’t mind.”
Big Girls Drama Page 16