“The sharing? Well, at first I was completely against it. But after the other night, I realized that I enjoyed it. I don’t think I would have liked it with anyone else, but I trust you.”
“Does it bother you that we play with Cassie in the same way?”
Krissy considered his question. Honesty was called for. “It would if I didn’t know what you were doing and wasn’t given a chance to offer my opinion.”
“You mean permission.”
“Okay, yes! My permission.” She grunted. “If we are going to be serious in our relationship, I expect you to respect me enough to keep me from having to worry or second guess what you’re doing behind closed doors. I don’t trust anything that has to be kept a secret from me.”
“Fair enough. Would you want to watch?”
Reddening, she stared at him. “I’m not a voyeur.”
“You don’t lie very well, either. I watched you during that party at Hank and Hildy’s house. You couldn’t move your eyes from her bottom when I spanked her. You were also wetter than hell when it was your turn.”
“You’re embarrassing me!”
“Just be honest. It turned you on and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I happen to enjoy an audience as much as I like watching, too. It’s like a visual aphrodisiac.”
“What if…”
“You wanted to join in?” He finished her thought. “I guess that would be up to Cassie and Rob.”
“I wouldn’t want any girl on girl, but what if we both shared the experience together? Not sex but the spanking. We had a little taste of that with Suzanne, and it made me curious.”
Bryon leaned back and placed his hands behind his thick, muscular neck. “That sounds like it could be fun. Let me talk with Rob about it. Would you want Suzanne involved?”
“Not if it meant Glenn was there. He hurt Cassie’s feelings last week when he said…” She clapped her hand over her mouth.
“What did he say?”
“Please, just forget I said anything. It’s not important.”
“Kristina, you are to tell me what he said this instant.” Bryon’s growled, leaning forward to stare at her.
Whimpering, she repeated what had happened. As expected, Bryon’s face turned red with anger. She grabbed his arm. “Please don’t say anything. I promised Cassie I wouldn’t tell you and Aunt Suzanne already handled it. He couldn’t even sit in class all week.”
“Do you expect me to ignore such a hurtful and unnecessary comment? Do you have any idea how long it took to earn her trust so she could feel free in her Little mode?”
“I know, but it wasn’t meant to hurt her.”
“I guarantee that it did more than hurt her. Stupid comments like that can blow a Little’s trust and confidence to the point that it never comes back. It’s too much of a part of her.” Bryon looked as though he was ready to cry. “She trusted us with her inner child, with her vulnerability and her innocence. She’s never trusted anyone before with those things, and that stupid asshole of a brother of mine may very well have destroyed it. Fuck!”
Krissy cringed as Bryon’s voice roared across the room, alerting Rob and Glenn from the television.
“What’s going on in here?” Rob asked. “Bryon? You look like you’re ready to put your fist through a wall.”
Bryon glared at Glenn. “Why don’t you ask this little mother-fucker what he said to Cassandra? I’m going out to look for her.”
Glenn grimaced as the back door slammed and broke off the hinges.
“Glenn? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say anything. Papa and I were just talking and it slipped out,” Krissy explained.
Rob crossed his arms and looked at his youngest brother. “What the hell did you do this time?”
“I didn’t do anything. I opened my big mouth and said something that I didn’t mean, and it hurt her feelings.”
“You better start talking right now. You hurt my girl, and you better give me a reason not to knock your teeth out. Don’t even consider looking at the floor when you talk, either. Face me like a man.”
Krissy bit her lip as she watched the exchange between the two brothers. Glenn was visibly nervous as he obeyed Rob’s command, and Rob kept flexing his fists as he struggled not to let his temper grow out of control.
“Guys?” She timidly stepped between them. “Do you think that rehashing this situation is going to help Cassie feel better? She’s hurting badly and is scared out of her wits. That’s partially your fault,” she said to Rob.
“My fault? What the hell did I do?”
“She’s jealous of us going horseback riding.”
Rob’s face registered the understanding of her statement. Glenn looked confused.
“Why would Cass be jealous about that? Did you guys go riding without inviting her?”
“You could say that,” Rob answered, clearing his throat. “Excuse me. I’m going to help Bryon find my girl.”
Glenn slumped in a chair and put his head on the table. “One of these days I’m going to stop screwing up. I’m always making a mess of things.”
“They know it’s not malicious. We’re both in the same position. We’re new in this whole thing and are going to mess up because we don’t know any better yet.” She stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he cried quietly into his arms. “We need to show ourselves some grace.”
“It’s not just this. It’s always been this way. Ever since I can remember, I haven’t measured up to the Johnson reputation. I didn’t make the cut no matter how much I tried. Cassie was the only one who accepted and understood me. We were best friends until this whole fucking lifestyle thing started.”
“You miss your little sister, don’t you?”
“We used to watch cartoons and eat fruit loops until we were sick to our stomachs. As kids, we did everything together because we are so close in age. She never compared me to my brothers. In fact, she couldn’t stand having them around.”
“Maybe it’s time that you try to go back to that place. Go buy a box of fruit loops and watch cartoons with her.”
“She probably won’t ever trust me again.”
“You’ll never know unless you try.” She went to the freezer and removed a carton of Cookies and Cream ice cream and grabbed two spoons. “Here. This is what us girls do when we need to feel better.”
Glenn offered a grateful smile and dug in.
****
“Have you found her yet?” Rob asked, trotting to where Bryon stood on the dock.
“No. Did Krissy tell you what happened?”
“Yes. She also informed me that it was my fault as well.” He shared what Krissy had said.
“We both didn’t think about the horse issue. We screwed up.”
“We’re only human and are going to make mistakes as we muddle through this mess.” Rob sighed, sitting down and dangling his feet over the water. Bryon joined him. “It was so much easier back in the day when we just messed around and didn’t have a primary.”
“We also didn’t have the commitment and love that comes with having a primary. I’m afraid it’s going to become more complicated when I take Krissy on as my primary sub. I don’t know how we are going to handle this without hurting them.”
“We could start by disbanding the term primary so that one doesn’t feel they are second to the other,” Rob suggested.
“Good idea. We can’t force them into a sister relationship, either. That has to come naturally.”
“Maybe we should take the girls on a little trip.”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Bryon raised his eyebrow.
“If anyone can help bring them together, it’s Dorian and his wife, Merry. The Graye’s can handle anything that comes their way in the lifestyle. Spring Break’s next week. We could go then if the Manor has a room available. What do you think?”
“I think we have a trip to plan, big brother,” Bryon said, clapping Rob of the shoulder. “Let’s go find our girl.”
/> After an hour of searching around the lake, they found Cassie curled up in the hollow of an old Cyprus tree with her knees to her chest. Both men sat on the damp ground in front of her.
“Go away.”
“I’m sorry, Cupcake. We screwed up.”
“Yeah, you did. Making me feel invisible seems to be a family trait,” she answered bitterly.
“Baby, please listen. Bry and I are so sorry. We broke the rules for no other reason than wanting to reduce Krissy’s fear. You made the pie and cookies to help her, so you understood what she was feeling. We fucked up by taking her on a ride without considering that you would be hurt because you hadn’t been allowed to try the horse first. It was insensitive, and we were wrong. I swear that will never happen again.”
“Did you both fuck her, too?” Her voice was hard.
“No. You have my word,” Rob said. “We love you and never meant to hurt you or make you feel invisible. Please forgive us.”
“You also took her to the Playground. I’ve never gone there either,” Cassie sniffed.
“I only did that to introduce her to the lifestyle and other Littles. I … damn. We’ve never even tried to do that for you either, have we? I’m so sorry.” Bryon hung his head.
“This is what I’m talking about.” Cassie looked up at the two, her eyes glittering with anger. “I’ve given myself to both of you and wasn’t even worth the consideration of being introduced to others. I feel like I’m your dirty little secret. I’m not going to do this Little-shit anymore.”
“Cass…”
“No, Rob. I love you, but I’m not going to put myself in a vulnerable position and then be either forgotten or mocked. It’s over.”
“You are letting your emotions control your decisions, Honey. Please come out and let me hold you.”
“No. You and Bryon can go back to the house and hold that girl and give her everything that used to be mine.” Her voice started to crack. “While you’re at it, double fuck her. I’m sure she’d love it, especially since I haven’t gotten that yet either.”
“Cassandra, this stops right now,” Bryon said firmly. “I love you and will always be here for you, whether you want a Daddy or not. Having me is not up to you. Krissy and I are forming a relationship. It’s different from what you and I have, and I can guarantee that she isn’t any happier with having to share me with you than you are. Don’t say anything,” he ordered, holding up his hand before she interrupted. “I told her in the very beginning that you were, and always would be, my Little Girl. That is non-negotiable. It took you a while to accept Suzanne as your auntie, so I expect it to take some time for you to accept Krissy as your sister, but it’s going to happen.”
“I don’t care, Bryon. Do whatever the hell you want. Glenn said to grow up, so he got his wish.”
Bryon looked at his brother with pain in his eyes. Rob cleared his throat. “Maybe just the three of us should go on that trip.”
“That’s what I’m thinking. Given what’s happened, we owe Cassie an experience that belongs strictly to her.”
“I’m not taking any trips with either of you. Find some other way to ease your guilt.”
“Make the call. I’ll get a substitute if I need to, but let’s go as soon as they can get us in,” Bryon said. Rob nodded, pulled out his cell phone and walked out of hearing range.
“I told you I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Are you going to call off your engagement because of this?”
“I’m not going to marry someone who doesn’t give a shit about how I feel.”
“You know that’s not true. Where are you going?” Bryon asked as she pulled herself from her cubby and started walking to the house.
“I’m going home. Give this to your brother.”
Rob stood next to Bryon and watched as she climbed into the little sedan Rob had given her and drove away.
“It’s over for us, isn’t it?” Rob stared at the ring in his hand.
“Nothing is over until it’s over,” Bryon said, patting Rob’s shoulder. “Pop will talk some sense into her.”
“Before or after he comes by to smash our heads into a wall? He’s going to be livid.”
“Yeah. I just wonder which one of us is going to be the first one on his shit list.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“Dad? Are you home?” Cassie called, entering her childhood home. It still felt strange not to see her mother in the kitchen or hear the three boys fighting in the living room when walking through the house. She tossed her keys and wallet on the table and wandered to the trophy/workout room where she found her step-father on his weight bench. She watched silently as the former Dolphin Quarterback completed his workout and waited until he noticed her in the doorway.
“Cass? What are you doing here, Honey? Are you okay?” he asked, holding out his massive arms. She shook her head and entered his embrace. “Which one of my idiot sons screwed up this time?”
“All of them,” she sobbed.
He sat on the couch, pulled her onto his lap and sighed as he rocked her. The single father of three boys had married her mother when Cassie was eight. She had built a wall around her heart out of fear of abandonment and rejection following her biological father’s desertion. Even though Bill had formally adopted the little girl, provided for everything she needed, and tried his hardest to be a father to her, it took over ten years for her to trust and embrace him as a father.
“I wish Mom was still alive. She’d know what to do.”
“Yeah, she would. Let’s try to take this one step at a time, okay? Look at me.” He wiped her wet face with his hand. “Everything’s going to be fine once we figure out the game plan. What’s our goal?”
“To reach the End Zone?”
“That’s my girl. How many players are there on the opposing team?”
Leaning her head on his shoulder, Cassie answered. “Five. Do we have to talk football? You know I know nothing about the dumb game.”
Bill laughed. “Spoken like a true Johnson. If only my old teammates could see me now, they would laugh me out of the stadium. Okay, no football. How about ice-cream?”
Cassie picked at her banana split as she shared the situation. Bill was still unfamiliar with the lifestyle, having just learned of it when his two eldest sons helped transform their step-sister from a defiant, self-destructive brat to an affectionate and responsible young woman. Although the results earned his respect, he was an old-fashioned man with old-fashioned values and still was unable to grasp the appeal of either age-play or multiple partners.
“Sweetheart, you were so happy with how things were going. What changed? You know I won’t judge you for choosing this life, but is this what you want?”
“I don’t know anymore. I love Rob so much that it hurts, but he didn’t even consider how I would feel when he excluded me.”
“I’m not going to pretend I exactly understand what happened, but do you think that Robert would ever do anything intentionally to hurt you?”
Cassie shook her head. “No, but if he does something like this now, what’s he going to do next? Fuck her?”
“Please watch your language. I know you’re upset, but you’re still a lady. Do you feel like he cheated on you?”
She considered the question. “Yes, I guess I do. Even though he didn’t have sex with her, he still gave her something that should have been offered to me first.”
“Did he own up to it?”
“Yes, and he apologized, but that still doesn’t make the hurt or mistrust go away.”
“Bryon did the same thing, correct?”
She nodded. “I just feel like I’m going to be replaced by this girl. I had loved my life before she came along.”
“It sounds like he’s getting serious about her and your old fears of being abandoned are coming back up.”
“No shit.”
“Cassandra, I’m not going to tell you again. I know you’re upset, but that’s not an excuse to break my rules.�
��
“I’m sorry, Dad. I just feel like I have nowhere safe to go to sort this out.”
“Have you spoken with that other gal about this? The one who’s dating Glenn?”
Cassie was surprised that he had brought up the couple. He had strongly disapproved of his youngest son being involved with a woman who was old enough to be his mother.
“Suzanne? She knows part of it. She was so pissed about what Glenn said that they didn’t even speak for the rest of the time I was there. I know you disapprove of the age-difference and stuff, but she’s a great person.”
“If she’s capable of putting up with Glenn’s childishness and straightening him out, then I say go for it. Glenn’s never been one to filter his words, and the two of you are so close in age that he hasn’t had to. Is it possible that he’s a bit jealous and is acting out?”
“About what? Sharing Suzanne? I hardly ever get to go over there.”
“No, about not having you to himself anymore. You two were inseparable, and when this lifestyle thing started, it divided you. Maybe he’s just lashing out because he misses you and can’t find the words to tell you.”
“But he was so mean. He stole my Little away.”
“Are you talking about the Little who used to play hide and seek with him, eat fruit loops and watch cartoons?”
Cassie stared at him. “Are you saying that if he can’t have that part of me, nobody can?”
“I don’t know what he’s thinking. Glenn was never the best in sharing anything that he claimed as his, so now and then he’d get frustrated and break something if he couldn’t use humor to deal with his problem.”
“So, he’d rather break me than encourage me to be happy? That’s so selfish.”
“You know I love you and would do anything to help you, but I need to ask this question. How is what Glenn’s doing to you any different from what you’re doing to Bryon?”
“I can’t believe you’re comparing the situation. It’s completely unrelated.” She pushed her dish away and crossed her arms.
“Would you rather I lie to you, pat you on the head, tell you that your reaction is completely justified and that you’re being treated unfairly?”
End Zone (Game Plan Series Book 3) Page 5