He had made it clear that he didn’t want her to be pierced, otherwise, he would have commanded it himself. She chose to honor his wishes and pointed to the cross. He looked pleased.
“I know you made that choice based on my feelings, didn’t you?” She nodded. “Just for that, we’ll set up a time for Dr. Paige to pierce your nipples next week. It might be fun to clip some weights to some hoops after they heal. Agreed?”
One flung her arms around his neck and kissed his lips. She couldn’t control the breaking of protocol when she proclaimed. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, my little pet.” Dorian scooped her into his arms and pressed his mouth to hers. He then secured her to the giant X-shaped frame, smiling as she trembled after watching him remove his favorite signal whip from it’s nest. “Are you prepared, One?”
She nodded and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the leather snaking closer to her helpless body. She released a loud sigh as the first slice of the whip tasted her back. Forget the chocolate; this was what she truly worshiped.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“It’s you and me today, Love Bug,” Merry announced, barging into Cassie’s room and flinging open the curtains. The girl sat up in bed and brushed the hair from her face.
“It’s barely light outside. Is anyone even up yet?”
“No, which is why I’m here. Hurry!” A pair of shorts and a shirt were tossed onto the bed. Cassie quickly adorned then, brushed her teeth and brushed her hair into two long ponytails.
“Where are we going?” she asked as the older woman dragged her down the dark hall.
“Shh!” Merry pushed her behind a plant and placed her index finger over her lips as one of the Maids walked by. Once the coast was clear, they tiptoed in the shadows until they escaped to the outside.
“Are you going to get me in trouble? I don’t want to face Uncle Dorian for being bad again.”
“You’re safe. If anyone gets in trouble, it will be me. It's time for a Girls’ Day Out.”
“Does he know? He told me I couldn’t go anywhere without telling someone.”
“Do you tell me when you go off with Dorian?”
“No, but…”
Merry snorted and grabbed her hand. The manor’s vehicles were parked neatly in the covered lot, and Cassie was pushed into a stunning silver convertible.
“Whose car is this? It’s gorgeous.”
“This is Dorian’s ‘37 Mercedes-Benz 540k. He loves it almost as much as he loves his whips.” The roadster’s engine purred as she started the ignition. “He’s the only one allowed to drive it.”
“Shit, Merry! He’s going to kill you.” Cassie’s voice was filled with alarm.
“He’s working with your boys today and then running through positioning drills with the first-year Maids. He’s going to be so busy that he won’t even notice we’re gone.”
“Are you sure?”
“Don’t be such a worry wart. See that electric panel under the radio? Press 1-2-50. It opens the gate to the private road. We’re going to Miami and doing some shopping.”
Once off the island, Merry cranked up the radio, and the two girls sang at the top of their lungs as the wind blew through their hair. An hour later, they pulled in front of the magnificent St. Regis of Bal Harbour where the car was handed off to a valet.
“Don’t look so worried. This is the only place Dorian will park his sex machine.”
“How can you not be afraid of him?” Cassie asked, following the redhead into the luxurious al fresco shops where the impeccable lushly landscaped courtyard was home to designer boutiques and fashion icons.
“I’ve never been afraid of Dorian, Baby. He would never harm my body or intentionally hurt my heart. If he catches us, he might be angry and punish me, but I have nothing to fear. Little girls don’t worry about things like this. Today, I am taking my darling niece shopping.”
Cassie giggled and accepted Merry’s hand. The sights, sounds, and aromas that surrounded them overwhelmed her as they flitted like butterflies from shop to shop. Pausing only to sip a cup of coffee and sample the escargot in hazelnut butter and seared Fois Gras with poached pears, endive, and Marcona almonds, the two engaged in retail therapy until their arms were laden with bags. They licked ice-cream cones as they headed back to the car.
“Let’s put these in the trunk and then walk around a bit. It’s two o’clock, and we have about an hour before we need to leave for home.”
“That sounds like fun. Auntie Merry? Is that your cell phone?”
“Damn. Hello, darling. Is everything all right?” Merry held her fingers to her lips and then frowned. “Dorian, you know that my brother loves to stir up problems. Cassie and I are hanging out together so why would it matter what we’re doing? This is my day with her. You’ve already had your day, and I didn’t drill you about what you were doing.”
Cassie watched Merry’s face as it paled slightly. Without hesitation, she snatched the phone away.
“Uncle Dorian, this isn’t fair. When you and I had time together, Auntie Merry didn’t even bother you one time. This isn’t right, and you’re ruining our fun. It’s rude, and if I acted like this, I’d be getting spanked. I thought you believed in common courtesy!” She stomped her foot to emphasize her discontent.
“Cassandra Lynn, you are to give the phone back to your aunt this minute and think about the tone of voice you’re using on me. You forget who’s the grown up here and I will not stand for it. Does someone need to write lines tonight instead of going to dinner?”
“No, Sir.” Her bravado vanished.
“Hand the phone back to Aunt Merry and go find a corner to stand in.”
“But …” Cassie looked around her. People were everywhere.
“But what, young lady? Did I tell you to do something?”
“Yes, Sir. I just… there aren’t any corners here.” She looked at Merry with desperation. The other women slapped her forehead with her palm and then ran her index across her throat. They were dead meat.
“Cassandra? Where are you?”
“Here’s Auntie Merry. She wants to talk to you.” She handed the phone back.
“Dorian, please give us our time and stop trying to micromanage. You know how that annoys me.” She rolled her eyes. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. Sweetheart, please listen …”
Cassie watched the woman’s shoulders droop, and a single tear dripped down her face in response to her husband’s scolding. Not knowing what to do, she wrapped her arms around the tall woman’s waist and leaned against her.
“Yes, Dorian. I’m sorry I said that. I just wanted to have some space and don’t need Elias watching every move I make. I know that you’ve asked him to watch out for me, but spying makes me angry and leaves me feeling like you don’t trust me.” She wiped her eyes and stroked Cassie’s hair. The girl strained to hear what the man was saying that made his wife so upset, but Dorian Graye never raised his voice when angry.
“I will, I promise.” Merry sounded defeated. “I’ll see you in about an hour, okay? I love you, too.”
“Well? What did he say? Tell me.” Cassie demanded.
“My asshole of a brother told him that the roadster was taken off the property and tracked it here. I didn’t even consider that he would put a tracer on the stupid car. He knows where we are and is very disappointed that I didn’t tell him the truth when he asked. I also used a trigger word on him and hurt his feelings.”
“What word?”
“Micromanage. It’s a sore spot, and it was a low blow.”
“Why? He likes to control everything, doesn’t he?”
“Yes, but he also trusts his people to do their best and knows that they’ll come to him if there’s a problem. He never intervenes without either being asked or unless it’s necessary for safety sake.” She took in a deep breath and explained further “Micromanagement was an issue for him when he was younger and his mentor ran him over the coals for it. He now associates the term wi
th disrespect, a lack of trust, and having poor character. I shouldn’t have said it, but I felt like I was being suffocated and I’m not into asphyxiation play.”
Cassie hugged her again. “You did this for me. I’ll talk to him.”
“No, Honey. Dorian’s my husband and what I did is my responsibility. We work hard on not hurting each other, and it breaks my heart knowing that I wounded him.”
“I’m sorry. I know how that feels and hate it. Is he mad about the car?”
“He didn’t even say anything about the car. Are you ready to go home?”
****
Dorian paced in front of the Manor, his hands jammed into his pockets, and waited impatiently for the girls to return. Merry’s behavior disturbed him. Taking his prized roadster was irritating, but it was just a car, and he had predicted she would pull that stunt one day. What bothered him was that she hadn’t even left him a note when she left his bed. His mind was filled with questions and doubt. Had their evening together not ended as he believed? Was having Cassie here bringing back memories and the depression Merry experienced after cancer devastated her dreams for children? Did he spend too much time focusing on others when he should have devoted more time to her?
Her words cut into his heart. She hadn’t spoken them in anger or spite which forced him to consider the possibility that his old habits were returning. To allow that to happen was unacceptable and there was no reason or excuse. Cassie’s gumption to protect Merry, and the truth of her observations, tugged at his conscious as well. He strived to be a good example to those around him, especially to other couples. He had failed in his quest and needed to know why.
He turned to the sound of the roadster coming up the long driveway and fought to control the emotions that begged to be released. Those would have to wait until he and Merry had privacy. He opened the door for his wife to exit and, on impulse, pulled her tightly into his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Forgive me.”
She looked confused. “No, Dorian. I’m sorry. What I did to you is unforgivable.”
“Nothing is unforgivable between us. We need to talk. Cassandra? Come over here, please.” He turned to where the tiny blond fidgeted uncomfortably. He ran his hand over the top of her head. “Thank you for your honesty. You were right, and I’m sorry.”
“What?” The surprised expression on her face was almost comical.
“I wasn’t a good example, and I’m sorry. Aunt Merry and I are going to take a walk and talk. I saw Rob at the pool if you want to join him. He’s been working very hard and might like some Big Girl time with you.”
“Okay. Uncle Dorian? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’m a big boy, darling. My feelings don’t get hurt that easily, but thank you for being concerned.”
She squeezed his hard waist and rested her cheek against him. “I bet most people think that you never get hurt feelings, but I know better. I hid my hurt for a long, long time.”
“You’re a wise young woman, Sweetheart, and you’re also correct. The Master is never expected to show his weaknesses; therefore, people assume he has none.”
“Showing you’re hurt doesn’t make you weak.”
“That, my dear, is something I’m still trying to learn. Run along, now. Make sure that you’re on time for dinner, okay?”
“Yes, Sir. Thanks for today, Auntie Merry.”
Dorian waited until Cassie was out of sight and took his wife’s hand. “Let’s go for a walk. I want to get away from the Manor for a bit.” He led her to a secluded alcove near the water’s edge on the Atlantic side of the small island where nothing but the blue ocean was laid out before them.
Before anything was said, he lowered himself to one knee and took Merry’s hands. “Please forgive me. I truly am sorry.”
Merry knelt in front of him and wiped his wet eyes with her thumb. “What’s wrong, Honey? This isn’t like you. You have nothing to apologize for.”
She was the only person he trusted with his emotions. One of his wedding gifts to her was the promise to never hide from her, and he had been faithful in keeping to that promise. “Do you know why I insisted on using Lux Aeterna for our wedding music?”
“It was the piece that called you to the vision of the Florentine whips.”
“It was more than that. Lux Aeterna is Latin for Eternal Light. You, Meredith, are my eternal light and I feel as though I’ve failed in keeping you shine. That’s my responsibility, and I should have seen it. I never meant to make you feel as though I didn’t trust you. You’re the only one who I will ever trust with all the fear, pain, doubt, and weakness tucked away in my heart.” He held her hand to his pounding chest.
“You haven’t failed me, Dorian. It was my fault. I’m sorry I took your car and went off without telling you.”
“A submissive only fails when she refuses to try to please her dominant. You always are trying to make me happy and have taken every opportunity to go one step further. The sneaking off with my car isn’t what hurt me, it was that you left without a word. Neither of us have left our bed without submitting a token of love for the other since the first day we slept together.”
“Oh, Dorian, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
He didn’t hear her. “Coupled with that was what you said to me. Are my old habits returning? I never want to be that person again. He was selfish, arrogant, unteachable and angry. You deserve so much more. Tell me what I’m doing wrong. I can’t live without you being happy.”
With his head on her lap, he released the pent-up tears. Merry silently stroked his back and hair and let him release his pain.
“Look at me,” she ordered, holding his wet face between her palms. “You are nothing like that little boy anymore. You turned all those bad habits into incredible strengths, and I love everything about you. You have flaws, but that’s what makes you human. Don’t fight against it so hard.”
“Please tell me what I can do to make things right between us. You didn’t tell me those things out of anger. You said them because you believed they were true.”
“I misspoke.”
“You’ve never lied to me, Meredith. I’m not talking about the occasional little fibs that you knew you’d be caught in. I’m referring to real lies. Tell me the truth. Please. Don’t make me beg.”
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held his head to her chest. “You’ve been taking on the weight of the world on your shoulders, and it’s too much for you. I know these shoulders are strong, but you never sleep, have constant headaches, and seem to be so distracted at times. It’s been a long time since you’ve been yourself. In fact, the closest I’ve seen you come to being the original version of my Dorian Graye in a long time is when Cassie’s been around you. Without knowing it, that little girl showed me how much you are suffering. Your heart is too big for what you want to do, and you need to trust those you chose to help you.”
“There’s more. Tell me.”
She sighed and looked away. “I guess that it bothered me that you trusted Elias to break Cassie’s fear, but didn’t trust me to be alone with her for just one afternoon. Time with her was important to me, and I felt cheated.”
“I never intended to make you feel that way, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. No one holds my trust like you do. I mean, look at me. I’m crying like a baby and asking for my sub to soothe me.”
“I’m your wife and vowed never to leave your side, especially when you were being crushed by your own heart. I’ve seen you cry before, Sweetheart remember? Every time one of our girls finds a master and leaves the nest, you lock yourself in our room for hours. You’re a good daddy to them, and it hurts when one of your babies goes away. These are the tears of a man who has taken on the responsibility for everyone he cares about and suddenly realized that he’s forgot about taking care of himself.”
“Tell me what to do,” he asked, trying to bring his emotions back into control.
; “Accept yourself and don’t second guess what you know is true. Everything about you, even your flaws and quirks, make you the man I love. Don’t change a thing for me.”
“Not even my socks?” He smiled, feeling the calm start to take over.
“I gave up on that a long time ago. I know that your insistence on always wearing mismatched socks serves more purpose than to annoy me. It’s a little ‘fuck you’ to the world that demands your perfection, which is why I tolerate it.”
“Perhaps I should start doing the same for shoes.”
“Don’t push it, Mister,” she warned, raising her arched brow.
He sat up and put her body between his knees so that they both could watch the waves. With his arms engulfing her snugly, he kissed her neck. “I want to do something special for you. What would you like?”
Merry paused for a moment. “It’s been a long time since we’ve danced.”
“Dance? Like to the Lux Aeterna?” His heart skipped a beat.
“We haven’t done that in years. I miss that degree of intimacy with you.”
“It’s too dangerous. I came close to harming you last time we took to the floor.”
“We’ve grown since then, and our ability to move together has become ingrained. When we dance, I give you every part of my soul to lead. It’s the ultimate gift of my love and trust for you, and I want to give it to you again. Please?”
Dorian studied Merry's eyes and saw fear. She was willing to risk her life to prove her love and trust but was afraid he would reject her gift.
“If that’s what you want, then we’ll dance again. When?”
Her eyes glittered as she kissed his lips. “The night before Cassie and the boys leave. I want to show them and the rest of the world how deep my love is for you.”
End Zone (Game Plan Series Book 3) Page 16